Sunday, November 13, 2005

   !!!ASHAMED THEY SHOULD BE!!!

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   Okies...
I am changing my theme to Chobits. Anyone want me to help with their site theme? I'd love to help. Fern, want Yotsuba instead? PM me. Okies....of to work!
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   Me, again (on the edge of breaking apart...)
Now that everyone is asleep, I am free to express my feelings erm...freely... (-_-)?

Ok, this is going to be a very personal post, so any and all clasmates and friends from Kung-Fu, please don't tell anyone of what you are about to read.











So, my best-friend...Raeza. Yep. Ma best friend whose a girl. No complaints. A little lazy and bitchy, but then, aren't I?
Ma best guy friend...Bobby.

So, lately, I have been feeling really stuck between feelings.
First off, some guy who liked me(whose name I shall not reveal) and who I liked as well, well....we did talk. We got along ok. We were (are) both quite odd, and yet, I just couldn't bring myself up to the fact he liked me. All his friends: Eric, (who I have decided to leave. found out a lot about him. Sleazy dirtbag)...and many others kept saying "Stop bugging me," or "Ask (him) to do it for you," and "He likes you, Michelle." But me, being vain and stubbon and selfish just couldn't bring myself up to it. Plus, at the time, I liked eric, and I kept nagging about 'where's eric?' and 'have you seen him?' and 'tell him i love him'. I was being a real bitch and basicly was 'saying' that I didn't feel comfertable with him that much. Well...some chick asks Bobby out, and he says no, because he likes Raeza(he just said he wasn't ready...), so she was rejected. Well, after a while (when I stopped ranting on about eric) I noticed he wasn't saying hi or even wanting to talk to me. About a week after both seemed to get rejected, they started going out. The guy who liked me and Bobby's admirer.(or whatever). Now, when I want to ask her WHY they got together, he's ALWAYS with her. The first day I found out, I told of my friend Nelsa and cried in two classes. Since I have a 'rep' of being a weird, tough kinda girl, many people were thinking I was crying of a different reason. Only Raeza knew why. everyone else thought it was because of Michael. (notes were sent...etc.) and now, I was told by his friend Ruben "She's only going out with (him) because she feels sorry for him." And I get really pissed off. "so he's like a pity-date to her?" I ask, shocked. He goes off, and says "he thinks he's all that now, but he's not." And I feel like he's a bastard, and yet I can't quite stop feeling I want him back.

Now, wierd part.
Dreams. Happen to mostlyeveryone. Some good, some bad. I have been dreaming about someone. Ma best friend. Yep. Bobby. People say it seems obnious I like him since I'm always bugging him, but I have USUALLY always seen him as a brother. Well, had 4 DREAMS OF HIM!!! Like, a continuing series. I think (KNOW) I like him, but he likes Raeza. He told me first, and I have respected that. But, I can't seem to feel caring torwards him. At the same time, it's like we're drifting apart slowly. I'm staying immature, he's getting meture (as in behavior-wise. I have my moments, though...) and anyway, I feel caught between rage, jealously, love, and confusion. I've never had this happening to me. "DAMN YOU HORMONES!!!" Well, I think I should go now. Must finish pics and stuff. Thankies for reading (or skipping through) this, so long as a certain wave of relief has somehow swept over me and relieved me of a certain pain and anger I've been holding in. Well, maybe I'll post later. FMA made me cry, tis a sad episode. (T.T)

sayonara...
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Saturday, November 12, 2005

   Cool bg of Haruko-san:


If you're gonna use it, please gimme credit! (-_-)
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Friday, November 11, 2005

   [Not the reguler update]
Hewo, buddies. Sorries I haven't been updating. Ma cousins are here. Yep. Little buggers. Plus, I'll TRY posting up fanarts or greetings, or stuff, or pics, or lyrics for ma theme song. May haps I can find the Katamari theme song. Myui, ever heard a midi of that? Me neither. Now, here is a conversation to listen to while I....uh....do stuff:









okies, boring. Gotta go. Bye.

(-_-)
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Sunday, November 6, 2005

   And, we interrupt this program to bring you...
align=left>
I adopted a cute lil' cow fetus
from Fetusmart! Hooray fetus!


Okay....as disturbing as it is, I can't help but think it's cute...(-_-)


BTW: Anyone play KATAMARI DAMCY ?!

I LOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOVE IT! Ma sister gots it for me. It's scary as hell, but oh, so cute!=^-^=
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Saturday, November 5, 2005

   Thank you SOOOO much!
Yay, 203 visits and 45 gb signings. FMA was SOOOOOOO sad! T.T Why, Greed?! WAHHH!!!Anyway....FuriKuri on..gtg. Bye! =^-^=
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Thursday, November 3, 2005

   =^-^=


I feel so thankful. Thankies for 50 gb signings, and 200 visits! Thanks for being such great friends, Cia-Chan, OtakuEmpress, chikai, ThePupInuyasha, and everyone else who left comments about the Liliana thing. gtg. Bye! Thanks! =^-^=
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   !!!YAY!!!
Finally, I can type a decent-enough sized post. Ma mon has been watching me like a hawk, and making sure I don't log on to the computer, but here I am...now.
Okies, first, I am SOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO
happy!!!



Halloween:
Dressed as a graveyard fairy, and went to Samantha's house. we stoped by for about 20 min, and me and Manny(step-dad) along with Superman(brother...*shudders*) went trick-or-treating. We left soon after, and went to PlanetPizza, the closest thing to PeterPipper's, but cheaper. Well, Here's where I get happy.
:flashback: Raeza(bff) met cute guy who worked there. Michael. He looked 16 to her(SO NOT!....looked 17...)-_-..
And she, being retarded then, payed no heed to him. He went on talking and asking her questions, and she friking forgot(she soon regreted that)... then, cuz she was dropped off, alone, there...
She was getting a drink, and he "hugged" if you will...hugged her. He came from behind, and wrapped his arms around her stomach-sorta...she blushed and realized that she liked him then. But...before, she felt weird, cuz he was 19, yes, 19, and he thought she was 14 or so (she has big boobs), and "flirted" with her. She won't admit it, though. Then, there was the first DDR contest and he was entering. There, she introduced us. I, am SOOOOOOOO UGH! Whenever I like a guy, I act mean to him, and what-not, so I called him 'Japanese' instead of his name. He did sorta look Japanese, only he's Mexican, but pale-ish, and taller. Well, cuz ma damn parents HAD to FUCKING watch me, I couldn't really talk to him. Ma sister told Raeza how old he was, and that she'd kick his ass or something...
Well, later on....

:end flashback:
We went back, and I, yes, "I!!!" Had to ask a fellow employer 'erm...you know a guy that works her? Uhm...Michael...do you know where he is?' she then replied 'Oh, he left' blankly. Well, being the bunch of idiots we are, we thought he got fired, left, or went to college. We confessed things we shouldn't have and didn't(really...) mean about our feelings for him. Then, Halloween comes.

OMFG!!! double you tee eff.
I get a pizza, and some person walks past, in a red, long, cape, and the cape has flames on it. The person walks by again, and a second time. Then, like something from StarWars... he looks sideways at me, his hood on, and then looks down, away. Walking...
I hold back a laugh, a smile. He comes again..."Japanese?" I ask. "Huh?" is his reply. I COULD NOT BELIEVE IT WAS HIM!!! I tried to ask him stuff, but with Mother watching, and all the damn noise, he just gets confused. Then, skipping details, he cleans up things from tables, and he comes to ours. Manny is next to me, and as Michael comes, Manny stares a him (remembering him from the contest, he beat Raeza...), and he QUICKLY grabs ONE plate and hurries off to the next table. Oh my gosh. That dork, I think. -_-?
Then, in the game room, I see him at the Dance machine. I think he's going to play, and go running to my mom BEGGING for two damn tokens. I say I have a challenger, and she reluctantly let's me get ma tokens. I come back, and he just says, "Uh...dude, I'm on the clock. I can't play." All the time, showing his dorky, cute smile. NOOOOO, I think. Then, stupidly, I gloat. I say. I could have beaten you, anyway. He chuckles and says "can you dance expert?" *blush* "n-n-no.." "heh, then you can't beat me." Then, he choses a song for me, and leaves. I do the song, passing with a C or D.Then, costume contest, I didn't win. Then, the dork, *blushes* Oh! |D I see him, again. Sadly, we had to leave, but I was happy to see him, again.

Now, I am sad:
A guy named Eric, whom I have fancied since 3rd grade hates me. Some bitch Alex told him I liked him, and he doesn't ever say hi, but me being evil, force hime to. I am trying to ignore him, but it's hard to. I think he likes Brittney, or Alexa, his friends. And Brittney is always saying he's my puppy, and I say no. "He's a human-being. I told you already, damn it." Eric could probably care less if I defened him or not.Plus, ALL the freaking guys I have ever liked, liked Raeza (damn her) but, she just says 'oh no, i don't like him, but he's cute.' Well, now he got yellow and blue braces, and he looks even cuter/dorky. I like the look, but when I complimented him, he looked away. I feel sad. I annoy guys too much. Zeke (one of Bobby's friends) told me so today. Hopefully, I can change. well, Mother calls. I must go. Sayonara. What should I do to get Eric and to not annoy him?
I:
poke him
pat his head
ruffle his hair
call him buddy(as in "Eric, buddy!"
hug him(sometimes)
and I hate myself for it.
Raeza will probably steal him anyway. I hate the fact she looks better than me. I hate myself. Advice? This always happens. I feel confused. Hands, and fingers hurt. Must go heed Mother's call.



~Farewell, my love.....
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Tuesday, November 1, 2005

   !!!HAPPY HALLOWEEN!!!
Sorries I'm one day late! I'll post what i did yesterday and pics later! Gotta go to Kung-Fu class!
-.-
Bye! =^-^=
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