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• 1993-01-22
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Female
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• 2005-06-14
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• Michelle
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• Become a manga-ka, or novelist :)
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• Doodling, drawing (?), writing, VIDEO GAMES, COMPUTER, & listening to MUSIC
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• My pinky can bend a full 90-deg. angle and turn completley backwards (now), and uhm...I'm pretty good at DDR :) (Heavy, and Oni) ^-^
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Sunday, November 13, 2005
Me, again (on the edge of breaking apart...)
Now that everyone is asleep, I am free to express my feelings erm...freely... (-_-)?
Ok, this is going to be a very personal post, so any and all clasmates and friends from Kung-Fu, please don't tell anyone of what you are about to read.
So, my best-friend...Raeza. Yep. Ma best friend whose a girl. No complaints. A little lazy and bitchy, but then, aren't I?
Ma best guy friend...Bobby.
So, lately, I have been feeling really stuck between feelings.
First off, some guy who liked me(whose name I shall not reveal) and who I liked as well, well....we did talk. We got along ok. We were (are) both quite odd, and yet, I just couldn't bring myself up to the fact he liked me. All his friends: Eric, (who I have decided to leave. found out a lot about him. Sleazy dirtbag)...and many others kept saying "Stop bugging me," or "Ask (him) to do it for you," and "He likes you, Michelle." But me, being vain and stubbon and selfish just couldn't bring myself up to it. Plus, at the time, I liked eric, and I kept nagging about 'where's eric?' and 'have you seen him?' and 'tell him i love him'. I was being a real bitch and basicly was 'saying' that I didn't feel comfertable with him that much. Well...some chick asks Bobby out, and he says no, because he likes Raeza(he just said he wasn't ready...), so she was rejected. Well, after a while (when I stopped ranting on about eric) I noticed he wasn't saying hi or even wanting to talk to me. About a week after both seemed to get rejected, they started going out. The guy who liked me and Bobby's admirer.(or whatever). Now, when I want to ask her WHY they got together, he's ALWAYS with her. The first day I found out, I told of my friend Nelsa and cried in two classes. Since I have a 'rep' of being a weird, tough kinda girl, many people were thinking I was crying of a different reason. Only Raeza knew why. everyone else thought it was because of Michael. (notes were sent...etc.) and now, I was told by his friend Ruben "She's only going out with (him) because she feels sorry for him." And I get really pissed off. "so he's like a pity-date to her?" I ask, shocked. He goes off, and says "he thinks he's all that now, but he's not." And I feel like he's a bastard, and yet I can't quite stop feeling I want him back.
Now, wierd part.
Dreams. Happen to mostlyeveryone. Some good, some bad. I have been dreaming about someone. Ma best friend. Yep. Bobby. People say it seems obnious I like him since I'm always bugging him, but I have USUALLY always seen him as a brother. Well, had 4 DREAMS OF HIM!!! Like, a continuing series. I think (KNOW) I like him, but he likes Raeza. He told me first, and I have respected that. But, I can't seem to feel caring torwards him. At the same time, it's like we're drifting apart slowly. I'm staying immature, he's getting meture (as in behavior-wise. I have my moments, though...) and anyway, I feel caught between rage, jealously, love, and confusion. I've never had this happening to me. "DAMN YOU HORMONES!!!" Well, I think I should go now. Must finish pics and stuff. Thankies for reading (or skipping through) this, so long as a certain wave of relief has somehow swept over me and relieved me of a certain pain and anger I've been holding in. Well, maybe I'll post later. FMA made me cry, tis a sad episode. (T.T)
sayonara...
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