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Birthday
• 1993-01-22
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Female
Member Since
• 2005-06-14
Real Name
• Michelle
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Goals
• Become a manga-ka, or novelist :)
Hobbies
• Doodling, drawing (?), writing, VIDEO GAMES, COMPUTER, & listening to MUSIC
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• My pinky can bend a full 90-deg. angle and turn completley backwards (now), and uhm...I'm pretty good at DDR :) (Heavy, and Oni) ^-^
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Monday, April 24, 2006
~~~What have I become?
Honestly, I'm scared. I tried hiding it, but I can't anymore. I cut myself again. This time, I bled more. Two out of five on my left wrist, and just now one on my right wrist. It wasn't so deep, it just broke the skin and kinda stings. My gosh, I fear I'm gonna go to a foster home. I want to cut myself again. My grandma moved out. Everyone says it's my fault. Is it? Saturday-she comes in my room, we fight, she hits my arm. I tell her "Yeah, keep hitting me that way when my teachers ask why I'm all bruised up, I can tell them, and they can take you away!" I wasn't the nicest, smartest, or best thing to do. She's like 50 some, and here she is crying her eyes out to my step-dad telling him what happened. Did she say she hit me? Well, he lectured me and shit and then that bitch tells him what I said only she says "She told me that she told the teacher about me, and that she wants me to move away!" As if you lying whore! (sorry, but I'm pissed off...) Then, he asks if I said that. (In an earlier conversation, I am 'supposedly by the ruled of "Manny" supposed to answer only yes or no to questions. No explinations, no maybe's') So, mostly fake, I shook my head. He didn't see, and she gave me a cold evil stare. So, then I said "Fine. Yes." He got all worked up about it and shit then starts telling me how they'd take me away (wouldn't he love that?) and I'd never come back (yes, he would.) Then he adds: "Askn your mom, it's not so easy being in a foster home. Do you really think it'd be better?!" Then he yells me out all bitchy-like and tells me to clean my room. Well, it's almost clean. 'Supposedly', if I don't clean it by today, 10:00, he's gonna clean. I said ok. Then, that bastard adds : " Remember last time when I 'cleaned'? That means out goes the tv, radio, playstation 2, all of your crap." (Once, he got everything NOT on the bed and threw it away. ALL OF IT! I fucking hate that bastard. Well, now, my mom told me yesterday : "Yes, I was in a foster home. I got lucky and went to live with a white family, I was there for my birthday...All I have to do is call up Child Services, tell them 'I can't handle my daughter, she's misbehaving, disobedient, and they'll take you away for good. My time there was only temporary since I was --------" (yeah. shit happened to her.) Well, now I fear if she sees them, I WILL go to a foster home, never to return. She said she couldn't call her friends, family, see them, or anything. By next year, I bet I'll be long gone. Well, yeah. My life sucks. I feel much better about typing this for some reason. I just hope I don't friggen die. Yesterday, I submitted a fanart I did in one of my 'moods'. I dunno if it was accepted, but I wrote poems and verses around the character that I made up, saying my problems and such. Well, if anyone wants a piccy of their linkie changed, please tell me. EdWillSos, I'm working on yours. I probably won't be on for a while now, I'm gonna be grounded for no reason I'll bet. Plus, Manny will be home soon. Well, I pray.
~Mishy
:)
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