Thursday, September 9, 2004

   I am to remain silent.....
Last night I was doing my physic's homework at my friends house. We worked on that bloody homework 4pm to 11pm nonstop. I got in trouble for being out past cerwfew. My parents think I didn't work effiencently, but I did. I am so pissed at my parents I'm not talking to them. They shall not get any words from me.
Today I have to state: Drew you are the absolutely the best friend I could ask for. YOu've put up with my dilemmas and been very uderstanding and supportive. ::online hug:: ^_^ An online hug to Alene and Molly as well, both has been a great friends and I'd trust with my life. If you guys ever need anything let me know!!
Ok now that I got the sappy stuff out its time to go do homework. Buh..Bye!
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Tuesday, September 7, 2004

   My rant for the day
I don't understand why people have sex, if they don't love each other. Obvisously there is some kind of attraction and affection. I mean come on, if you are going to do a deed like that, there'd be some other reason other than just to feel good. If I were to have sex I'd have love for the guy that I was having sex with. I know what I want, but most guys, with an exception of a few (a few on myo), they never show emotion or affection on the matter. They always brag to their friends like its a huge success when they "score". Its degrading to us girls. Its alright for a guy to brag about it, but if a girl brags she's labeled as a whore or hoe. Argg guys are so aggravating at times! >_<

Don't ask why I had that rant.. I heard things from school today and I had to say something. ::deep breath:: I'm alright. I'm going to go and do physics homework.. see ya!
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Monday, September 6, 2004

   My family made it through the storm alive. Thanks for praying!

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   There isn't a subject today.
Today was the weirdest/intresting/fun/sadest day of my life and there is no possible way I can tell you all, because it is very personal and I promised myself no one will know. The yellow journal will be the only one who knows. All I can say is this I went bowling with my friend Brad and it was so totally ackward I didn't know what to say or do. In some way I felt like I betrayed him and his family for a reason I must not say.

Tomorrow is a new day, god help me.
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Thursday, September 2, 2004

   I havent updated for a while.. this one is gonna be short.
Hurricane Frances will hit miami friday morning... pray for my father and his parents that they will be ok.. I'm sure they're gonna ride out the storm. Please pray for their safety!! Please and thank you and I'll update later.
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Thursday, August 19, 2004

   Its a Long One :)
It's time to update....
~~Tuesday~~
This was the day I was suppose to fix my schedule. It looked like this:
key= A=1st semester B=2nd Semester
1A Physics
2A Physics
2B English 12
3A&B Computer programming
4A&B Spanish 3 Honors
5A&B Lunch
6A&B Health
7A English 12-------------------------- with this schedule I have 4 open classes. So Molly and I go up to the school only to find I have to make an appointment to have it fixed and I can't purchase a parking spot until the first day of school, which is completely stupid!! Its already gonna be hectic because its the first day of school. So We leave and hang at my house and play (and please don't die laughing) Shrek Super Party on PS2. I'm telling ya thats the best multi player game in the world. Its a nice break from killing things. After like 4 hours we go downtown and eat chinese and buy our tickets for the movie the Notebook. Then we went down to the River Front Park and watched the ducks and the pigeons dive bomb ppl. It was fun and it was free lol. Then we went to Best Buy and I bought Usher's Confessions and The Cruel Intentions DVD, and a couple of DVDs with no real importance. On the way home for dinner we stop by Reptile Revolution and I decided my next pet will be a ball python. It doesn't have 4 legs so I can't be yelled at. I have to save money for it, but I think I'll have enough money before school starts (hopefully). After we ate we went to the movie. See I was suppose to spend and hour with Chippy 7:15 to 8pm, but since I'm moving I decided not to go. We were in the movie and he called me 5 times and left a cheery message but I didn't call him and I ignored his calls. The movie was great. The Notebook is such a sad and happy movie all in one. Girls will love this movie and the guys will get their girls holding onto them lol. ?Heck some guys might like it but its mostly a girls flick. We headed back to Molly's house and played Disney monopoly until my cerfew.
~~Wednesday~~
Church was better, I almost felt like I was welcome there. And even those unholy thoughts I had for the taken guy are slowly fading away. Chippy wasn't there in youth but he came by at the end, his real mom came to church. I'm happy for him. As usual we didn't talk but I did call his house and left a message to call me when he gets the chance. I just want to talk to him as a friend. So don't worry lol :) Oh I also got my schedule fixed. Here it is: Key 1st Semester= A 2nd semester = B
1A Physics
1B English12
2A Physics
2B English12
3A&B Computer Programming
4A&B Spanish 3 honors
5A&B Lunch
6A&B Health
7A Theater 3
7B Environmental Earth Science
8A Theater 3
8B Environmental Earth Science
I'm happy with it. Its a pretty easy schedule.
I found 2 songs that I feel express my soul right now:
Wrong
by: Kimberly Locke
You presume I'm weak
Presume I'm frail
But your presumptions won't prevail
I'm made of more than what you see

You tell me to twist
Tell to bend
But I won't break just to fit in
Just shut your mouth and listen up

I was so naive
To let you have control of me
But now that I believe
I know oh

Chorus:
You're wrong
And I'm strong
Unafraid I'm moving on
'Cause I'm free
To be me
Nobody tells me who to be
You're wrong
And I'm strong
Unafraid I'm moving on
'Cause I'm free
To be me
Nobody tells me who to be

I'm on the outside
Looking in
No longer do I pretend
To be something that I'm not

I don't run
And I don't hide
Behind a comforting disguise
What you is what you get

I was so naive
To let you have control of me
But now that I believe
I know oh

Chorus

I wouldn't change a thing
'Cause life is how you grow
You live, you learn
And then you know

Chorus 2xs


-----------------------------------------------------------------------------

You'll Think of Me
by: Keith Urban

I woke up early this morning around 4am
With the moon shining bright as headlights on the interstate
I pulled the covers over my head and tried to catch some sleep
But thoughts of us kept keeping me awake
Ever since you found yourself in someone else's arms
I've been tryin' my best to get along
But that's OK
There's nothing left to say, but

Take your records, take your freedom
Take your memories I don't need 'em
Take your space and take your reasons
But you'll think of me
take your cat and leave my sweater
'Cause we have nothing left to weather
In fact I'll feel a whole lot better
But you'll think of me, you'll think of me

I went out driving trying to clear my head
I tried to sweep out all the ruins that my emotions left
I guess I'm feeling just a little tired of this
And all the baggage that seems to still exist
It seems the only blessing I have left to my name
Is not knowing what we could have been
What we should have been
So

Take your records, take your freedom
Take your memories I don't need 'em
Take your space and take your reasons
But you'll think of me
take your cat and leave my sweater
'Cause we have nothing left to weather
In fact I'll feel a whole lot better
But you'll think of me

Someday I'm gonna run across your mind
Don't worry, I'll be fine
I'm gonna be alright
While you're sleeping with your pride
Wishing I could hold you tight
I'll be over you
And on with my life

So take your records, take your freedom
Take your memories I don't need'em
take your cat and leave my sweater
'Cause we have nothing left to weather
In fact I'll feel a whole lot better
But you'll think of me

So take your records, take your freedom
Take your memories I don't need 'em
Take your space and all your reasons
But you'll think of me
And take your cat and leave my sweater
'Cause we got nothing left to weather
In fact I'll feel a whole lot better
But you'll think of me, you'll think of me, yeah

And you're gonna think of me
Oh someday baby, someday


More about my life later... peace... much love :)
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Saturday, August 14, 2004

   Yesterday was my b-day ^_^
Hiya all its time to catch up once again.

Lets start with the once loved subject: Chippy. Alright he called me back after my last update and we talked about everything. His girlfriend broke it off with him and he figured I still had a crush on him. So he asks if I want to see him... I was like are you wanting to get back with me and he said he might want to but he thinks we moved to fast before and he wants a second chance. I've talked to what seems like hundreds of friends and my own mother to get their opinions, and they all are the same, forget him and move on. And I am believing that is the best thing to do. Because deep down I know he is just in it sexually and that is all. So I'm moving on with no regrets.

The tease I hinted about several posts ago, I've decided I should reveal. Whew... here I go. Ok How bad is it when you have a serious crush on someone that already has a finacee and he's madly in love with her, plus what gets me he's from my church. That has to be a huge sin or something. I mean I feel SO guilty when I go to church. Ok I spat it out now to move onto next subject.

Church... I went to church and of course Chippy ignores me.. no biggie.. Everyone was friendly like normal and yet I feel like an outsider. At the end of church Bubba decides to do pohne tag and call my cell about 50 times, then had Drew (thats the one I have this huge crush on but is taken) call my cell. And now I have his number... which my be a BIG mistake. And I said I'll be there next Wednesday.. I guess I will be.

My b-day was yesterday. It was great. Molly and I went shopping all day long. Then raced at the end to get dinner home on time and get to the party on time as well. It was hilarious. My party was awesome, even though I invited 15 only 5 showed which was ok it was still fun. He had just enough cake and for once there were equal amount of boys and girls for once including me. Chico, Molly, Louis, JD and James showed. We all had a blast and Chico did her Johnny Depp personality which got her a strike lol. After the party Louis and James and Molly and I did 2 games boys against girls... girls dominated!! It was a quarter til 11 when we finally left the bowling alley. Louis came over and met the family as did Molly. We all ate a VERY late dinner and chit chatted. I took Molly and home 15mins til midnight. I expected Louis to be gone by then but when I got back he was still there. He didnt leave until 12:30 when Terry practically kicked him out. But he took to him, which was a good thing. :) It was a very great 17th Birthday.

Today: (Whew it took forever to get to today lol) I volunteered a couple of hours for the Key Club. It was suppose to be a car wash and a bake sale but when I left it was a little shakey. And in like 3 mins I'm going to Sara Evans concert, which is a b-day gift. Until later...
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Tuesday, August 10, 2004

   Ok the Scariest thing just happened...
Just like 10 minutes ago Chippy called me. It was really weird. He was the last person I would expect to call me. Well I just had to say this it was very creepie.
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   3 days until my birthday 9:00am
Well much has happened since my las update. Yesterday my wisdom teeth were cut out. Its not to bad, but I just can't smile because I'm so swollen. Today after 10am I'll be able to rise out my mouth with warm salt water which will help control the swelling. Its disgusting but it helps.

Last Saturday Molly and I hung out. We went to the pound and saw all the poor little animals. The cats were in better shape than the dogs, and I can see why some of those dogs were there, some were absolutely vicious. But there were some goregous cats, they were very sweet. I fell in love a bright orange and white kitten. I wish I could have taken her home. But my parents wouldn't let me :( We're taking a break from fluffy animals for a while. I did get 5 new betta females. So I'm up to 4 males and 6 females. Also on Saturday Molly and decide we want to go horseback riding for my birthday so we call all our friends to find where a good horseback place is. I call Chippy and it is so ackward between us. We talked for a short time then I was ushered off the phone. I guess he thought I called to see if he and I wanted to get back together. But I didn't think of it, and I'm kinda glad I didn't. It made me think twice about Chippy after that phone call. I'm gonna wait until school starts before I date anyone. its almost 2 weeks until it starts. I think I can last that long. LOL Molly and I ordered my ice cream cake from babskin Robins for my party friday. Hopefully I'm feeling well enough. I have to get the order fixed tho...

Well thats it for now... I need to rest, my head is spinning.
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Thursday, August 5, 2004

   8 days till my b-day ::yawnz:: its 3:48 in the morning.
Well the whole car thing didnt really turn out that badly. Terry didn't flip like i thought he would. but all is said and done and i still have a car.

I went to church yesterday. William wasn't there but I did learn a very interesting fact. Chippy and his ex broke up agian. Yes I might be getting my hopes up but thats my own choice. Its better than what I am feeling develope. I'm not goona say what yet. Sorry for the tease. I was sung happy birthday.

Its late I'm going to bed!! >_<
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