Wednesday, August 4, 2004

   Arrrggg My Step-Father is gonna kill me!!!!!!
Hey all, I'm hanging around the Saturn dealership waiting on my car that is being serviced. It was suppose to be an oil change and a state inspection. But when it comes to my car its never that simple. It turns out to pass inspection my back tires need to be replaced thats about 130 dollars. I didnt call my stepfather on that one because he'd say go ahead with it. But then theres a doozy, that will cost 300 dollars. I needed a realienment but while they were looking under my car, the found a bent bar that holds my rear right tire, and that was causing the realienment. Thats the 300 dollars. (Whew.. that was a close call... I swear everytime this saturn guy comes around the corner its to tell me bad news. but this time was to tell someone their car is ready.) Its 10:44 right now, he told me my car will be ready at noon. Please if you have AIM please talk to me because I'm absoultely bored out of my mind. (my AIM is Kittyeaw) The grand total for everything done to my car will be around 550 dollars. My stepfather is SO gonna kill me when I get home. Well I'm gonna go and play on pogo. Til later!
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   9 days until my birthday and counting
Well yesterday was an ok day. I spent all day getting ready for a swim party. Being a girl sucks. theres so many places on a girl body that has to be kept neat, otherwise we are frowned upon. If I lived in a place that likes girls all natural, hair all over the place, then I want to move there. Shaving is such a bare. Guys got it easy. The only place guys have to shave is their face, but half of them dont even do that. But any way I'm off the subject... I was getting ready for a swimming birthday party. I noticed in my bathing suit, I was chubbier than I thought I was and I seriously hate swimming. I'm sorry, but I think people show to much when they are in a bathing suit. The party: I felt sorry for Adara, hardly anyone came to her party. But it was fune nonetheless. I finally saw Louis and chitchatted with him a while. It brought memories back. I hate memories, they are all so painful. But anywhoo it late I'm going to bed.
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Sunday, August 1, 2004

   12 days and Counting til my B-Day
Well my days are kinda looking up. I'm back to hanging out with Brad. He finally decided to call me... well actually he has been really busy. I ran into a few ppl from the church I go to at the mall yesterday. I'm just barely touching base on a few things that has happened in the past 2 days. Well gotta jet...
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Friday, July 30, 2004

   Its time to update even though I rather not...
Alright, where to start? Ok... the last thing ~~~~> Pepsi Bowling Tournament. First off the whole experience was awesome!! I broke out of my shell and was the person I wish I always was. I was outgoing and fun to be around. I made quite a few friends and even met a few cuties! One especially, that I will most definately keep in touch with. I'm glad I had a good time but I really stank at bowling. I didn't make the cut for finals. I tied for 21st place out of 42 gals. I could have done a lot better. I had fun, made friends, and got a lot of stuff!

When I returned I had the church trip. I got up very early and caught the tour bus with the youth church group. Yes Chippy was there, as well as everyone else. When we got to the Beach Water Park in Cincinati, I decided to hang with Bubba and his friends. I had fun but I definately felt like an outsider looking in. Everyone has been close and I walk in, the newbie, the outsider. I enjoy all the people but I felt misplaced. I know somebody out there knows the feeling. We had fun, I talked to everybody, tried water slides that I would never do in my life and got burnt fairly well. On our way back Chippy and Will decide to dress in drag. Ashley made them over and I provided Chippy with clothes. It was hilarious and there seemed to be some contact between me and Chippy like there was some hope. Man was I wrong. His ex was on the trip and decided to try to get back together with him. They talked and I silently cried. I knew from the reaction Chippy had that he was torn. I showed my support later telling hing if he ever needs to talk to me he can call me. I'll always be here. He acknowledged it and that was all. I went home complaining to William.

Ok heres where my luck turns completely bad. Both my cats pass away, one on Saturday, the other Tuesday. Wednesday, Chippy gets back together with his ex, which leads me to believe I was the rebound girl, the girl on the side til his ex came back to him. So at the end of church I stand there wondering what in Gods name was I doing at church. I'm the biggest ass sinner. I went to church for a guy. I'm not religious, why am I here? How much longer should I pull this shurade. I don't know if I'll go next Wednesday. I'm still pondering that.

Right now I have hit rock bottom. I have nothing to cry on because my cats aren't here. My life is whack. I don't know why I'm here. This is truely where I feel like I have nothing to live for. I just feel like a shadow. And it Stinks.
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Wednesday, July 28, 2004

   The Pepsi Tournament, Chippy, or the Church trip doesnt matter right now.
I lost my two and only cats. Little Bear was ill, and he ran to the woods to die. Squeak I took to the vet and he had liver failure and we had to put him down. I feel like shit. People want to help but no one can. They were only 9 years old. I'm gonna go cry some more, because life is unfair.
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Thursday, July 15, 2004

FREEDOM... your soul wants to be unbound...


What is your soul looking for?? (images)
brought to you by Quizilla

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   The Butterflies are fluttering now
Two full days until I go to Dallas to represent West Virginia in the Pepsi International Championships (bowling). I am scared out of my witts. We start the 19th. Heres the web page to check on me if you wish: http://www.bowl.com/bowl/yaba/common/static.html?page=yaba_pepsi_index

Well I went to church last night and I still didn't get a peep out of Chippy. What is with guys anyway. Why can't they say I like you or I don't like you, why the silent treatment. It drives us girls insane, or it does me. Anyway, Our youth leaders and Bubba invited me to go on this church trip to a water park. I was hesitant but I'm gonna go. (After this entry I'm gonna go out and buy a new suit, hopefully a tankini, I'm tired of one pieces, lol) If Chippy's there, oh well. Oh, I almost forgot, I saw Chippy's ex-girlfriend. Its scary to even imagine him going out with her. But anywhoo, the water park will be fun.

Quote of the day:
The sad truth is that excellence makes people nervous
-Shana Alexander

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Monday, July 12, 2004

   Not Good, but Not Bad Either
David decides that we need to chill since he's suppositely he's grounded and not suppose to be dating me. This happened Wednesday when I went to his church. He told me he'd call me but the only time he called me was to make sure I got home alright. I don't know what the hell is going on with us, so I can't consider myself single or taken.

The people at David's church are really nice. They all were really warm to welcome me. I knew half of them from school. I'm gonna go back this coming wednesday for a few reasons, David, my friends that go there, and I need a little religion in my life. Who knows what's gonna happen.

Pretty much since last Wednesday, I've spent time with Brian. He's one of those friends where you feel relaxed, and makes all the clouds go away. Thank god for friends or I wouldn't make it in life.

The Pepsi Tournament is Next week. I leave Saturday to go to it, and the butterflies are already fluttering. Dad is gonna be there and I really wish someone else would be there instead of him. Before we go down though, mom and I need to talk to a magistrate to fix the divorce agreements so dad, if he get mad, can't use that against us at any point. Dont think he would but its better safe than sorry.

More is going on but I think I'm gonna keep it to myself until I figure it out.

Question of the Day: What is you favorite Day of the Week? Mines Saturday.
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Tuesday, July 6, 2004

   I am stubburn, hear me roar!!
I know its been a really long time since I've updated, and its pathetic that I haven't. I guess I'm afraid of some opinions of my friends, are gonna say. Well I guess I should suck it up and take it. But I already know whats gonna come my way.

Ok, Time to cut to the chase with David. David and I have became in a very serious relationship very fast. Sorta like the whole Keith situation, but theres something there. Like David really cares about how I feel and isn't out just for his own pleasures. He even told me he loved me. I don't know if its a little early or not because when I said it to past boyfriends really early in the relationship and I've scared them away. This time I have a gut feeling like he means it when he tells me it.

I've confyed(sp) in two close friends about the events in David's and I's relationship, and they both expressed the same concern. I have accepted their opinions with open arms and pray to God that they are wrong. I'm absolutely crazy about this guy and I don't want to lose the feeling of love for another human being that truely might love me back. That is one of my goals in my life, to live, to love, and to achieve.

The fourth of July was fun, even though David arrived to late to catch the fireworks with me. I ran into one of my friends,James, and he kept me company while the fireworks were going on. Its sweet of him to hang out with me than with his parents. It would have been truely romantic if David was there, but fate had other plans.

Today (the 5th) I got to see David. We got a lecture from his father, more like a warning, to behave. We watch Along Came Polly. Which is a pretty good movie. And David and I had a few short intament moments. We talked about if we did break up, most likely we'd never be friends again, but I told him he's worth the risk. I'm completely happy with him. Even though he does move fast. I'm getting use to the pace. My only concern is, will he have the will to stick with me.

While David was away on vacation, I went to see Spiderman 2. It was absolutely awesome!!! After it was over my cell phone rang and it was David. I was thrilled he called me. ^_^

Question of the day: In your own opinion, what is the all time best summer movie so far?
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Saturday, June 26, 2004

   Time to catch up
Vacation was absolutely horrid. HollyAnn is not what people think she is. She's a spoiled little brat, that will be 400lbs by age 24. She only eats junk. I explained my concern fo her and she takes it the wrong way and goes hysterical. She was rude to my parents and my grandfather. She sulked around all the places we went. GRRRRRRRRRRRR. I had a pretty decent time other than that. I mainly relaxed and forgot about Keith.

The day after I got back, I hung with Molly the whole day. We bought 5 bettas among both of us, and then I spent the night over there and we played PS2 games all night considering we were suppose to be cleaning. LOL.

Two days ago I was on my way to go bowling and I saw David (I know him as Chippy) at Jakes house. I slammed on the breaks and parked and ran up there to say Hi. It was a little over a year he and I have seen each other. I gave him my phone numbers and told him to keep in touch. Then I left and went bowling. He called me while I was at the bowling alley, and later he, his little brother, and his father came. He bowled a game with me and then we played pool. I was terrible a pool so he sunk the eight ball purposely so I could win. ::sigh:: He was SO sweet. I tried to flirt with him any chance possible. We both had to leave and fate had other plans. David and his father invited me other to their house and I said I could or I'd be late on my cerfew. He (being David) convinced me to just drive out to his house and back so I know where he lives. David rode with me and we chatted of the past when we both hung out together at Jakes and the way I looked at him now was the same way I looked at him years ago. I admitted to him I've always liked him. He told me he's liked me ever since the last time he saw me. On the way back to my house, after I went to his, he called me and asked me out. My answer was yes. More about this later.. Right after I'm done cleaning.
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