Tuesday, May 18, 2004

   Coming to a decision
Alright today I seem much stronger than I have recently. I've came to a decision about Keith... I'm going to just move on and swallow the fact I did a lot of firsts with him but kept the most important thing, My Virginity. I will admit I wanted to be with him because there is a soft side to him that I love. And now all I can do is move on and look forward to the summer.

This summer after school is out my family and my friend, HollyAnn, and I are going to Orlando and Tampa Bay. A VERY long needed vacation on my part. I think I'll scope out the beaches and stalk a few hotties lol. We're planning to go to Busch Gardens too. I'm going to make an ass of myself too. I'm gonna flirt and act crazy to release energy.
In July I'll be going to Dallas/Fort Worth Texas to represent West Virginia in the Pepsi Bowling Championships. I'm excited!! I'll get to meet new people and bowl for 2000 dollar scholarship. It sounds REALLY fun. Theres going to be a rodeo dinner and a teen dance. Man! I really I could go tomorrow!!!!

Its great to have friends. I so cherish Molly. Molly is an awesome friend. She makes me laugh when I'm down and talks common sense. Theres a few others that make a serious dent in my life and I thank you. (You know who you are!)

Quote of the Day:
"Trust life, and it will teach you, in joy and sorrow, all you need to know."
--James Baldwin

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Sunday, May 16, 2004

   Ok time to catch up....
Alrighty, a lot has happened from last post. The guy I had that date with, he and I have this friends with benifits going on. Well last Thursday we did some stuff and it felt like he just wanted some and he got rid of me very quickly. So I talked to everyone that I wanted to tell and I came to a conclusion that I want to avoid him him. I went to prom even though I didnt want to be there and I saw him with his date. I loved the look he gave me when he entered prom, his eyes nearly popped out of his head as he checked me out. I think that was the best part of prom. I'm crazy about him even though all shit hit the fan at prom. I lost it, I talked to one of my best friends, Josh, about the situation since he didn't know and he told me he'd be here for me 100%. Then another friend, Sam, came to talk to me about Keith (Him). He did some terrible stuff to her and ditched her. By then I was crying because I felt I ruined my life on a guy I was crazy for a that was a jerk. Well that was it I sat for a minute and then went to the dance floor to look for Josh, but I ran into Keith, so I storm off and go to the ladies room and cried some more. When I came out Keith was waiting for me. I tried to storm off but he was determined to talk. I expressed my feelings and he apologized. He let me pass and I sat near Josh. When he left Keith took his seat, and we had a serious talk. I stared directly into his eyes while he was talking. I wish I could read him as well as he could read me. But I seriously don't believe he was lying to me either. He sounded serious. He looked serious. I swallowed down the fact he was with his supposite ex-girlfriend and tried to have fun. When prom was over Keith took his date straight home (hopefully) and he went home.
I, on the other hand, went to after prom and drowned my fears and thoughts about Keith in the casino. The school held an after prom to keep people safe. They had everything. Free food, gambling, movies, twister, games, coffee, and sport games. There were also raffles for REALLY good prizes. I had so much more fun at after prom than prom. Well that's about it. See you guys later please post away. I like comments.
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Saturday, May 8, 2004

   Be shocked!!!!!
OMG I just had an amazing date. all I can say: man, I feel like a woman!!!! The guy I had a date with damn he was FINE. He is in shape too!! I'm on Cloud 9. Well gotta do something to kill this energy.... Later



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Wednesday, May 5, 2004

   Its just one of those days
If your easily offended skip first paragraph.

It seems today everyone is pissing me off. I got up extremely late for school and barely made it before the tardey bell. I screwed up my art project and now I have to start over. Why the hell do you we have to draw our faces in the mirror? Its really sucks because I see everything wrong with me. I'm surprised I haven't broke the mirror. Two of my friends, or should I say pissy bastards, treated me like shit today. First I was questioned about my friendship, by Josh, with his ex-girlfriend. What the hell! I can be friend with who ever I'd like to be friends with. Its too bad he can't see Cori is just playing him for a fool. I tried to say hi to Matt but he had a fucked up attitude today and took it out on me. ARRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRGGGGGGGGG if I wasn't the sane person I swear I'd go off on them and kick both their asses!

On a more positive note, mom got to go back to work today! The doctor confirmed that mom has a blood clot and a torn ligament. But before they can treat her for the torn ligament the blood clot has to be completely gone which can take up 3 months. Which means we still get to go on summer vacation!!!!!!!!

lots of love

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Monday, May 3, 2004

   This covers last Wednesday to today.
Yea I know I haven't updated for a while but a lot has happened. Remember when I mentioned about mom? Well last Wednesday she was required to go the hospital because at the long waited for MRI they found a blood clot. So she was there until Sunday and thats when she was released. She taking pills to thin her blood to disolve the clot. They are thinking the whole knee problem is due to the clot. And if that is true recovery should be faster. She has an appointment tomorrow, hopefully, that goes well.
During the weekend mess, Josh N. was incredibly sweet, he said he'd come by the hospital to see me. Even though he never did. (Hey, it the thought that counts right?) He's been trying to sort out his own mess with Cori. He comes to me for advise. Which I tell all my friends if they need me I'll always be here for them. But in Josh's case it was hard because I still had feelings for him. So my basic advise I gave him was "follow your heart, soul, and mind they will lead you better than I can."
Life is so much better being single! I mean I'm so much aware of the people that like me more than a friend. Or is it just Spring that makes me feel this way? Spring is the crazy month, like everyone wants to hook up with everyone.
Prom, where to start? I'm going by myself so far. I have no place to get my hair done. I don't know which dress to wear AND I don't have shoes. I'm usually on top of things but it weird, its like I almost don't want to go to Prom. I guess I'm afriad something bad is going to happen or be bored like the other 2 out of 3 dances I went to this school year. Thinking about going to a movie Thursday, any ideas on what I might see?
More later!
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Monday, April 26, 2004

Spring Time

Lord of the Rings Life(For girls!!) by realkakashi
Name/Username
Who you marry	Gollum
When you marry	February 22, 2024
number of children	7
where you live	Shire
how long you last together	21
when you die	March 2, 2055
when he dies	August 24, 2058
Created with the ORIGINAL MemeGen!

I just had to try that survey Mrs. B had on her site, even though I haven't seen Lord of the Rings yet. I think its cool but I'm also clueless to whom and where this stuff is. Anybody a fan of LOTR wanna fill me in ? Please!!

Moving on:

A touching and truthful quote to start the Journal, that I read in our 11th grade English Book today:
"Trust life, and it will teach you, in joy and sorrow, all you need to know."
--James Baldwin

Today is a gorgous day. Its in the high 60's and theres a slight breeze, the perfect day. In school today we had a guest speaker. She was awesome and powerful in presenting her message. Trust me, she wanted to impact one persons life, and i was one of them. I know how it feels to lose someone close. Even though Dad is still breathing. I know you must be confused. The speakers goal was to make us more cautious in our driving and tell us to make good choices. I am relating to my father and how I lost him as a father and all I see him as a person that is just there, from the divorce. But anyway, this day has been about memories. In English Drew recolllected a time in middle school I asked him to help me decorate the house for Christmas and instead played football with Jake, and in return lost track of time and got in trouble for being late. Its good some friends cherrish or remember events they had with friends. I t means something to me at least. Well peeps more to come later.
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Thursday, April 22, 2004

I did break up with my b/f last Friday. He called me and he was like "I'll wait for you. I'll always be here for you." Ugh I cant stand it when someone tells me that. Then I feel like I'm leading him around.
What's pissing me off is the lack of dotorial skills in WV. Mom has torn cartilige in her knee, and the doctors are taking their sweet time to fix it. Mom can't go back to work until its healed. Its been 3 weeks so far. I'm afraid she might get fired because some lame ass doctor can't get off his lazy ass and treat my mother. This morning my mom was in so much pain I had to help her out of bed and take her to the bathroom. I feel so helpless. AAAAAARRRRRRRRRRRGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGG!!!!!!!!
Hopefully more happy later, gotta go to school :(


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Wednesday, April 14, 2004

   12 days with my b/f
Hi guys I need your help. I’m in a fix. Heres the situtation... Ok I’m dating a guy that really is in to me. but I’m not having the same feelings, I enjoyed just friendship, and I’m guessing I’m saying I want to remain single. I guess I don’t want to be attched. So what would you do?
Today: It was an ok day, I pretty much missed a whole day of school for the school play "How to succeed in business without even trying" (wow isn't that a mouthful). I'm on stage crew and I was about to take a baseball bat and smash everything. I got so fusturated (sp).The only reason I'm sticking around is because one of my good friends wanted me there helping out. But after all that I spent time with b/f. I guess today wasn't a good thing because I was rotten to him all day. I don't deserve him. I'm having doubts about it. But now you already know that lol.
I learned shocking news about one of my best friends. He told me he was gay and it really shocked me. I would have never thought that this person would be. But it doesn't affect our friendship but I'm glad he told me before I heard the rumors. Its just blows a shot for me to get with him lol..j/k
More to come later.
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