Tuesday, November 15, 2005

   I'm back for a second time today
The classes I want are filling up at warp speed. Could that be a sign I am not meant for college life?? I'm not exactly struggling through nor coasting through either. It doesn't feel like anything to me but a waste of time. These years are suppose to be the best years of my life and I'm not enjoying them unless I am with Mason. Without him I feel like a core of myself. I don't have that motivation I should have to get me through college. What is missing??? I need to know why am I feeling so down?
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   ::sigh::
Have I explained how much I hate my math teacher? He is the most horrible teacher I have ever had. The math test did not go well. So much for the A in the class. Argg. I'm down to a B. I need a high A on the final to get an A in the class... I know I can do it.

So I weighed myself last night... I have gained at least 10 lbs since school started. No wonder I've been feeling sluggish. I'm officially overweight.

I miss mom... Terry is being to nice... something is up.

Have I expressed how much I want to quit school and move out? I still do!

I have a ton of school work I need to get done over break. So much for free time.

I'm going to go and see if I can nap somewhere before my next class that is 2 hours away.

Love you Mason!

~Em~
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Monday, November 14, 2005

   My Weekend consisted of :
Working

Cleaning

Smiling

Laughing

Tickle Wars

City of heros/villians

Movies

Staying up late

Video games

Feeling loved

more laughing

Joking

mood swings

hugging Mason

Kissing Mason

Eating pizza

Eating ice cream

spending time with boyfriend

Getting money from step-father


I love you Mason!

-Em-
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Friday, November 11, 2005

   Test is over!!!!!!!!!!!
I had my sociology test this morning. I can't believe I got up earlier than need to study for the test. I almost ran out of time once again. But I did get out of the room before three other people. I feel I made an A on the test.

Now I wait to get my english paper... which should horrible!! I hope I get a rewrite. I know I can do better.

I want my Mason... He doesn't have school today and is visiting with his mom... its an hour away. :( I wont seem any today. I have to work... Stupid work wont pay us until Sunday... who pays on sundays anyway??

Overall its been an ok day...

I'm hungry and I miss my mommy that is in FL at the moment spending time with her dad.

I miss you and I love you Mason!

-Em-
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Wednesday, November 2, 2005

   A fear is growing inside me


Love you Mason!

Em
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Monday, October 31, 2005

   Random
Little things make me wonder, such as...

Someone calling you that truly loves you, forgets to say I love you when hanging up.

People say one thing and then turn around and say the opposite.

The love one person might have for someone, but still wonders if there is a different person out there that could be loved more.

Why do people put so much belief in fate or luck? Whay can't one say this is my destiny and stick through it.

If you see yourself going nowhere in your education then why not change your direction?

Can one seriously get pregnant when they do not do convential sex?

Why are these thoughts running through my mind?

My passion for school has died and my ambitions for a better life are slowly dwindling the longer I live with my parents.

Good thing I have the love of my life in my life. Otherwise I might just curl in to a ball and die. Life is so depressing when you look past the good you already have.

I loved the fact Mason came and visited me last night, he doesn't understand how much I needed him at that moment. Lif was hitting me pretty hard.

Need to go to class...

Happy Halloween!

Love you Mason!

~@~Em~@~
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Tuesday, October 25, 2005

   To MY Mason
Mason I love you!
We've had trials and tribulations but we've made it this far stonger than ever. I love the rose, I love the card, I love your warm smile, I love your green eyes, I love your touch, I love your kisses, I love your hugs, and most of all I LOVE YOU. You treat me right and you've been the only one to keep me happy. There is so much I can't express how truely I am in love with you. You are my blessing in life. I LOVE YOU MASON!!!

So here's to the next 5,000+ months, I hope were together forever! I love you! Happy 5 month anniversary!
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Sunday, October 23, 2005

   Its all good
Mason and I are back to smooth sailing again. ::sigh:: he's the greatest boyfriend I've ever had.

We made past another disagreement and grew stronger and we are even closer.

I LOVE him SOOOOO much!!

I love you, I love you, I love you forever and always, Mason!
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Saturday, October 22, 2005

   Hasnt been great, but I guess it could be worse
Tried to get a second job...

wasn't hired because I already had scheduled a visit with grandparents.

Thought I did well on my english paper....

I got the lowest B again! on that stupid paper.

Helped out a coworker by driving him home...

Mason and I get into a fight about it...

Argued for what seemed like a lifetime...

I guess we're ok now, still feel awful from the fight tho.

Did lousey in bowling

Will's avoiding me...

So I had no one to talk to about bowling once again.

Stalker is banished from Pullman square.

Dad is cutting through my last nerve.

My next paper is due friday.

My mock interview is Tuesday.

I feel like everything is crashing in on me, its hard to breathe sometimes. Can't things ever go right?

I don't even write my poems anymore... Isnt that a bad sign for me?

I want to know where my life is going.

Sometimes I feel restricted by everything. I love Mason and I love my life its just like there should be more I should be doing.

I'm being very cryptic... o well.

Love You Mason

Peace
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Monday, October 17, 2005

   ::sigh:: This weekend was great!!!!
I worked Friday evening.... grrrr... I had to close. Brady used the excuse "I'm going to be a dad!!!" I'm happy for him but I was dead tired from closing thursday. I was paid friday too... I whopping 78 dollars. Oh well as long as I am working my parents don't rag on me for being a lazy bum.

Saturday... Theres no way to describe it. Unbelievable... Awesome... breath-taking... I had a great time with Mason at his homecoming. I can't wait until the next dance. ::sigh:: that night was over too soon. Normally dances drag on and on but this one flew by. ::sigh:: I wish it was saturday evening again. Mason was sooo hansome. I looked decent... Mason would say that was an understatement LOL. But all around Saturday was a night to remember. =^^=

Dad responded back to my email and all I say is: its what I expected him to say. Apparently I am a ruthless, ungreatful child, that has angermanagment problems. I talked to mom about the email... told her my views of it and she made a few suggestions. I don't know what I am going to do but I do know I am the only one making any decisions about the matter. I've tried reaching out and my fingers got sliced. So I guess the only thing I can do is ignore it and move on. I deal with dad when the time comes and it is not now.

My life is good. Mason truely has completed my life. Its weird, when I'm away from him I feel like I forgot something... like something small, but important enough that it could damage you if you lose it completely. Mason don't ever leave me!!! I need you by my side. I feel safe when I'm with you. This is the first time in my life I have EVER felt this way.

I love you sooooooooooooooooooooooo much, Mason.

Class awaits...

Much love to the ones that love me.

Peace to my friends

and mucho love to my hot stud muffin (lol), Mason!

~*~*~*Em*~*~*~
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