Friday, October 14, 2005

   Everything is going pretty well
Hello... I know its been a while since I've last updated. I had midterms and work to do. Visiting with Mason and such. But like the title says everything with me is alright. I am doing ok in bowling... placed 2nd in the first tournament. Mason and I are still going strong. Terry still a jerk, but I can deal... I'm rarely home when he is awake. Mason's Homecoming is tomorrow... it weird, the excitement hasn't hit me yet... lol it will tomorrow. School is going ok.. I'm passing all my classes. I think on my latest paper I'll get a high B, maybe a low A. Lastly, I'm no longer letting my dad get under my skin. I'm going to florida for a week before Christmas and I figure I'll be seeing him. I told myself no more getting aggravated anymore. No more getting upset because he can't see through my point of view. Anyway, I wrote him a letter in response to him writing me say I was the one ignoring my letters. Here it is:

Dad I haven't been ignoring your emails. I have 10x more important things to do before email or fun and games online, school and work being the major parts. At this point, I ask you to view through my eyes and see why I get so aggravated about things you bring up. Yes, I stated "As of right now I consider you just a name on my birth certificate." But have you taken the time and walked in my shoes for my thoughts and feelings on this matter or earlier matters? I didn't mean to hurt you any of the times I have stated my opinion. As part of growing up, I've learned its good to state an opinion and sometimes it hurts but that is what has made me stronger. Especially the critizism I have recieved in the past few years. No one has made it easy for me. My family has put more speed bumps in my life than anything else. School and the few true friends I have, have helped me throughout my life. I see my friends having close bonds to their parents, and it does hurt that I don't have that bond with my family.
I'm trying to just focus on my future as of right now. School is going well and I have a wonderful boyfriend that loves me for me. Its amazing how much Mason has improved my life. He cares for my well-being and he is always there for me through thick and thin. We're making it agianst the odds, against what everyone has said about us,"it will never last because your in college and he's in high school". Dad, take the time a please realize how hard its been for me and please realize I love you. You take my feelings to literal, I vent on my journals, I express how I feel when I am typing them. Then let them go. When you bring them back up you bring the feelings back up and thats how you get an uproar from me. I know you.. you'll want the last word... just be forwarned from now on I'll let you have it because I don't need to cry anymore. And I will not let family eat at me any longer.
Love
Emily.

Well I tried to at least... Who knows his response but what the heck. If he wants to continue thats his problem. I will not continue it anymore. I'm giving up.

I've got class in 15 mins so I'll hopefully update sunday.

Love you Mason!!!

Peace and Happiness

~@~@*Emily*@~@~
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Tuesday, October 4, 2005

   arggggggggggggggggggggggggg
I just over slept and missed my first class and Mason's call... grrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr

Damn Alarm clock didn't go off.

I did get a good sleep tho.

But I'm still really pissed!!! ><
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Sunday, September 25, 2005

   Have you ever just feel down for no reason?
Its just one of those days.

This week I had a great time with Mason like always.

Happy 4 month anniversary Mason!!

Yea, thats the important stuff... I don't want to type anymore.

Love you Mace!

Peace!
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Tuesday, September 20, 2005

   I had 7 hours of sleep and I'm still sleepy!
It has to be the day... its a dreary day. Raining on and off. I barely made it to class on time, because people drive crazy when weather happens. I was walking to class and I saw an accident happen. If you witness an accident are you suppose to stick around and tell the police what you saw? Because I ran to class. I can't be thrown in prison can I? It wasn't to bad and everyone looked like they were alright.

I got 95% on my math test. I'm so happy! The average in our math class was a 75%. I was above everyone else but maybe 1 or 2 ppl. Take that multiple choice!

Mason and I are still going strong. We're going to spend Wednesday after school together because neither of us have to work. We'll probably go see The Exersism of Emily Rose. Then hang out at my house afterwards.

I love the fact Dad hasn't read any of my emails from me. I really could use the money that is saved for me towards school. He could at least email me and let me know whats going on. Yes I know theres a hurricane passing through today and I don't want to sound like I don't care, but i do. It's just I'm getting emails from him like jokes and stuff a couple times a week. It only takes two seconds to type out a response. Why can't that be so hard?

I get my communications grade back today at 11:00am its almost ten now. If you hadn't already guessed My math teacher let us out early again. Good thing because he was teaching "how to solve equations". Ugh shoot me now... its tooooooooo easy. Give me a challenge please!

Parents are actually being parents for once! They were worried sick about me last night when I had to work. So now on I have to write my schedule on the white board we have on the fridge.

Guess what I realized... I left my air conditioner on but its like at 70 it shouldn't be too bad. I called Terry and Mom to tell them. Its a good thing I'll be home by 12:30 or earlier depending on what time class lets out.

I was looking at my past entry and I see I haven't told you about our new cat. Well he claimed us actually. Mom always says I have a thing with animals... There was a stray grey cat walking around our neighborhood. He was super skinny and he got picked on by the same black and white tom Angie was attacked by. I saw him one day under a car watching me so I sat down in my gravel drive way and called him to come over. He came right to me, but was very hesistant on letting me pet him. I got a chance to a couple of times and then I went inside the house and got him food and water because he was so skinny you could see all of his bones. He ate 2 bowls of food and drank half a bowl of water. The poor cat. I named him Blue. To shorten the story Blue is no longer skiddish and allows mom, me and Terry to pet him. He wants to come inside our house but we're first going to get him treated. He needs his shots, he has to be treated for worms, treated for his respitory problems, and tested for the general cat problems. We're going to get him neutured as well. There doesn't need to be any more kittens running around our street. Terry calls Blue, Smokey. Thats going to change. lol Since the first interaction with him he's gained 2 or 3 lbs. He's not skin and bones anymore. Very sweet natured and doesn't fight with Angie. He's going to be a very good house cat if he chooses to stay after we get him treated. And Yes Angie has been jealous but she'll get over it.

My bowling is getting worse. When we established our averages I had a 149. Last week I averaged a 146. I need to bring it up. I hate it I hatei it I hate it arggggggggggggg. Maybe I should quit bowling. I dont get time to practice anymore.... We'll I'm going to finish out the season first. Hopefully it will get better.

I work tonight its 5 to 9pm but I told Brady I'll close. I need the hours. Nothing to big to worry about except a Sociology test. I'll be fine on it. Other than that I think this week will be a breeze.

I'm all out of things to write about... so Have a good day!

I love you Mason

May the world have Peace and Prayer!

~@~*Em*~@~
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Thursday, September 15, 2005

   I'm alright now...
Hey I got out of Math early once again so I've studied my speech and now I have time to write in my journal. Not to worry I will have even more time to study my speech after I finish here.

Mason is my savior. The last time I posted I was upset about school, friends, work and family, and that afternoon I tried my hardest not to bring Mason down when I went and got him from school. I tried to act fine but I'm a horrible liar, he saw through it. I told him what happened and he just said "need a hug?". It was the best thing I could have gotten from him. He wiped away the tears and told me everythings going to be alright. Isn't he great?

I fixed my hours so I don't have to close except for one day. My schedule for this week:
thurs 5 to 10
friday off
sat 12:30 to 6:30
sunday off
mon 4 to 9pm
tues 5 to 10 <--- should be out of there by no later than 11:30

Last night I got bitched at by mom and Terry after I got back from seeing Mason and church. They yelled at me for leaving the air conditioner on, my eating habits, and irresponsible I am being. Apparently juggling full time schooling and work isn't responsible. They emphisize on working is more important than schooling. Mom yelled at me for not eating dinner with the family when I am rarely home. Why eat with a "family" that groans and gripes and then takes it out on everyone else but themselves? BTW when have I been eating? I rarely have a meal a day. I'm always in a rush... eating is a side thing. I had chocolate in my room because I was craving it ::cough PMSing cough::. So now they think all I eat is junk food. They lectured me that I'm going to get diabeties and Terry dragged my father in it. I might have arguments with my father but it doesn't mean Terry can insult him in front of me. I fought back and then Terry was like you can give 20 dollars for your rudeness. What the hell? He threatened he'd take the car away if I continued on this path... This is why Mom will not sign the car over to me. So they have something hanging over my head when they are in pissy moods. He also threatened to kick me out.

Terry screamed for me to go down stairs and I moved slowly just to piss him off even more so. I swear... if he came down stairs and screamed at me more I was going to hit him with my softball bat. I finished up my communications by printing handouts for my speech. Mason called when I was crying once again. I told him what happened and he calmed me down. He took his shower and then called me back. He callled his mom beforehand to have her calm him down. He told me he's there for me anytime I need him and if Terry ever lays a hand on me he'll call the police for me. And if Terry kicks me out his mom said I can live with them for a while. I love Mason to death... If it wasn't for him I'd be... well lets just say I was having some dark thoughts that I haven't had since middle school. And I pray that I never have those thoughts again. Mason truely loves me and I seriously love him.

Mason has made such a huge impact in my life I refuse to lose him, I thank God for him being in my life.
I LOVE you Mason, more than you'll ever know.

Well I had a Math test today... I think I did alright. I can miss no more than 2 and still get an A. I wish I double checked it though. I hate multiple choice on math tests, they're tricky.

Anyway I'm better ^_^ I'm going to go.

Thanks for the email Will

I love you Mason

Peace
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Tuesday, September 13, 2005

   Arg I'm REALLY pissed off
My mother is not allowing me to quit my job. She said if I do quit, she'll make my life a living hell. Fine I'll apply to different places closer to home and I'll quit when I get a new job. I wish she would butt out of my life. ARGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGG!

I have my communications outline completely done but now I need to do my visual aid. I have NO clue how I am going to do it.

I went to bed at a decent time and yet I couldn't fall asleep until 2 am. I tried to get up and take a shower but I ran late and told Molly she needs her mother to take her. I was 10 mins late for class. And I left my cell phone at home.

At least in my next class all we have to do is listen to speeches, I have to do mine Thursday as well as a math test.

I have to close tonight, hopefully, this will be my last closing ever! Since I cannot quit. ARGGGGGGGGGGGG I just want to fucking scream or cry. I'm tired of my parent's shit and work. I need to get away.

Sunday, though, was great. I spent my whole time with my Mason. It was perfect, I couldn't have asked for more.

I love you Mason

Peace
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Tuesday, September 6, 2005

   Blah day that should get better
Today so far has been horrible. I should be stressed and in tears but today for some odd reason I'm pretty relaxed and in a carefree zone. Its weird for me, right? My day as of 10:10am:
*Woke up late
*Terry messed with the water while I was trying to take a shower. Not fun!
*Missed Mason's call
*missed Molly's call
*Late picking up Molly (she had a look to kill)
*I dropped her off right in front of the science building so she could make it to class on time
*I was late.
*Marked absent even though I was 4 mins late.
*I told myself I should have just skipped considering I know what I'm doing in my math class.
*Got out of class and moved my car from meter to and actual parking spot.
*Got lucky and did not recieve a ticket.
*Ate my lunch for breakfast
*Now here typing to the world and promising you all that I am not complianing just reciting my day so far.
To elaborate Mason's call he wanted to see if I can take him to his job interview. Which I caan. I hope he gets the job. It will be awesome.
I was listening to my Brian Adams CD that Mason burnt for me and a special memory came to mind about us. The first one was our first kiss. It was before we were dating and it was the perfect timing too. It was at after prom, in a theatre while a crappy movie was on, I still get a warm and fuzzy feeling when I think about it.

I guess I need to get going I have a class coming up.

Love you Mason!

much love!
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Tuesday, August 30, 2005

   ::sigh:: Life is still good, its changed its course tho...
Its like 9:30 am here at Marshall. Once again our math teacher let us out 30 mins early. I wouldn't mind it but I already had an hour and 45 mins until my next class. I've caught up on my reading for my classes and the only things that need to be done are my 2 paragraph essay for English tomorrow, my math for Thursday, and my giant essay due in 2 and a half weeks for english. I'm dreading my giant essay. I'm thinking about making my essay a persuasive essay about the TV show that is on oxygen late night with Susan Johanson. "Let's talk sex!" Its a pretty good show, its educational and she does promote safe sex tips. When the younger crowd (like age 13 or 14) call in to her show she tells them first that they should wait, but if they do decide to do anything they should protect themselves and she proceeds to tell how nasty the STDs are. Do you guys think I could make a good persuasion essay with this topic? I think I would say something like "Let's talk sex: A show that needs be in every health class" or "Let's talk sex: intertwined with our youth". I want to express the importance how this show is a good show for youth, so they can see what they'd be getting themselves into at an early age. YaY or nay? You guys be the judge.

Now that I did my rant from Marshall and classes... My heart goes out to all those people who have family in Florida, Alabama, Louisanna, and Mississippi and anywhere else that hurricane Katrina has struck. My dad and grandparents were in it when Katrina passed over Miami Fl. They are fine. Dad now should have electricity by now. I just realized why dad hasn't been answering my emails, he was preparing for the storm. Sorry Dad if the second email sounds a little mean. I was aggravated. I haven't had a chance to even turn on a TV until recently. But yeah my prayers go out to everyone involved.

Work... well my hours are riding a rollercoaster. Last week I had 28.5 hours.. this week I only have 14. This really bites... I really need these hours because now its going to take forever to save up enough for a good down payment for a cute little house. I was thinking about picking up a second job... but last night when I told Mason how my hours got cut, he said he was glad. He and his mom are worried I work to much. I don't think I do but I part of me see as they are right. I'm always tired and never have energy any more. Maybe this week will allow me to catch up on school work and such. My schedule:
Tuesday: 6 to close
Wednesday: off
Thurday: 7 to close (I think its 7, but I know I close tho)
Friday: off
Saturday: off
Sunday: off
Monday: 2 to 7
Its going to be weird having 3 days off in a row. But I'll get to spend my time with Mason on the weekend.

Mason I love you soooooooo much.

Arg... its only 10am... I have one more hour until Communications. I'll just go get a smoothie then. TTYL

Love you Mason

Good Day to you all (man I feel British all of a sudden lol)

Huggles!
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Wednesday, August 24, 2005

   info
Layer 0ne /
-- Eye Color:
-- Hair Color: brown with blonde highlights
-- Height: 5'5"
-- Righty or Lefty: Righty
-- Zodiac Sign: Leo

Layer Tw0 // `Describe..
-- Your heritage: Irish, German, British, French... and a few others
-- The shoes you wore today: Earth sandles from Walmart
-- Your weakness: candy and english class
-- Your fears: being alone and aliens
-- Goal you'd like to achieve: to own my own house and have a very loving family when I'm older

Layer Three // `Tell..

-- Your most overused phrase on AIM: "whats up", "lol", ":)", and "ok"
-- Your thoughts first waking up: OMG I'm late.
-- Your best physical feature: My smile I guess... or my eyes
-- Your bedtime: 11:00pm.... well I wish it would be.
-- Your greatest accomplishment: Being a 2004 bowling state champ and having a very loving boyfriend.
-- Your most missed memory: I miss the good times I had when my mom, dad, and I were a family... We'd do family hikes... we were close. I miss a close knit family.

Layer F0ur // `You prefer..
-- Pepsi or Coke: Pepsi
-- McDonald's or Burger King: Burger King
-- Single or group dates: Single
-- Adidas or Nike: Neither.. I don't like following the crowd. And I dispise Nike. (sweatshops)
-- Lipton Ice Tea or Nestea: Either, both are good
-- Chocolate or vanilla: Vanilla
-- Cappuccino or coffee: neither

Layer 5ive // `Do you..

-- smoke: No
-- Sing well: Not really
-- Take a shower everyday: Yes
-- Have a crush(es): yeah, My Boy Mason
-- Do you think you've been in love: yes
-- Want to go to college: yes, I'm in it lol.
-- Like high school: yea I loved it
-- Want to get married: Yes
-- Type w/ your fingers on the right keys: Nope
-- Believe in yourself: yes
-- Get motion sickness: every once and awhile
-- Think you're attractive: I don't but everyday I think I'm pretty thanks to Mason telling me everyday
-- Think you're a health freak: Hell no. lol
-- Get along with your parents: Nope
-- Like thunderstorms: Yes and No
-- Play an instrument: Nope. I use to play cello and viola, it didn't last

Layer Six // `In the past, did || have you..

-- Drank alcohol: Nope
-- Smoke(d): Nope
-- Done a drug: Nope
-- Go on a date: Yes
-- Eaten an entire box of Oreos: Yes lol
-- Eaten sushi: Nope
- Been on stage: yes only in drama class and when I modeled
-- Been dumped: Yes
-- Gone skating: Yes
-- Made homemade cookies: Yes
-- Gone skinny dipping: Nope... but I really want to though
-- Dyed your hair: Just highlighted it... I might though
- Stolen anything: Yea when I was 8

Layer Sev3n // `The future..

-- Age you hope to be married: 25
-- Numbers and Names of Children: 2 Ethan Hunter, Merissa Rose
-- Describe your Dream Wedding: Either a wedding on the beach or a winter wedding.
-- How do you want to die: Die in my sleep
-- Where you want to go to college: I wanted to go to Washington University but I'm attending Marshall
-- What do you want to be when you grow up: I'm studying Accounting but I really want to be a homemaker
-- What country would you most like to visit: Spain

Layer Eight // `0pposite sex..
-- Best eye color? green or blue
-- Best hair color? any
-- Best height: Taller than me
--Best Weight: no preference
-- Best articles of clothing: boxers or panties... I can't believe all the different things printed on them now. Until age 6 I only knew the color white.
-- Best first date location: Anywhere
-- Best first kiss location: movies/prom

Layer Nine // `Number of..

-- people I have kissed in my life: I'd rather not kiss and tell.
-- boyfriends I've had: Again I don't want to say. A lot of them mistakes, I only worry about the now and thats Mason.
-- people I could trust with my life: 5
-- CDs that I own: 50 or 60
-- piercing: None
-- Number of tattoos: None
-- times my name has been in the newspaper?: 5 or 6 times
-- scars on my body: 3 or 4
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Tuesday, August 23, 2005

   friends/party/work/school/gossip/me
I've been soooooooo busy. I mean I have been on the go non stop since last post.

My birthday party on the 20th was the bomb! I must thank Mason, Chico, Molly, Katie, Ben, James, Jeff, and JD for making my party awesome! I wouldn't want to spend it with anyone else. You all have stuck it out with me so far and I truly love you all for it. Huggles! I also need to thank Molly's parents for hosting and cooking for my party. The food was great! It was an all around good day for me.

I'm still deciding if I like my job or not... Its... whats the word... Its really something. I loved my last check though... I had 52 hours... a very large check something like 270 with taxes removed. Next paycheck should be around 300 (excitement!).

I started Marshall on the 22nd. All my teachers are different from each other,one I can't understand, one really quiet one, one that needs more confidence, one REALLY flamboyantly gay (he's hilarious tho),one that is mono toned, and one normal teacher. Its crazy! I'm really worried about my communications class. This class doesn't sound like a good class for me. I hate speaking in front of the class and writing... I feel doomed. But who knows.

Random:
I didn't know Heath was attending Marshall... I thought he signed with some other college.

T.J. has a hot new car... It wasn't a saturn but I seriously wanted his car. He drove past me, circled around, stopped and said hello, then drove off. It seriously took me off guard.

Would anyone seriously miss Keith? I nearly hit him.. but thought again when I saw others around him. I couldn't hurt the innocent so I didn't try to hit him. I love the fact he's trying to hard once again to get a girl... he now has contacts... its not an improvement.

I made friends with a girl named Filiz. (Its Turkish) She's from New Jersey but her family is from Turkey. She even speaks turkish. I don't know if we'll be close friends but we swapped numbers and ate lunch together. We have three classes together. She's pretty nice.

Money is decreasing in an alarming rate... who would have thought college would drain your cash this much.

I asked my oh so wonderful dad (sarcasm) twice if he'd close my bank account in Florida and send it up to me so I can add it to my account. It looks like I'll be dealing with it when I go down to visit my grandparents. Not one response yet... Dads!

I keep thinking about my future and how much I really want to be in my own house and be able to support myself and whomever that is living with me. Then I realize how far away my goal actually is. I know I want to live in Huntington. I hate large cities and I also hate living in the country. I like it how Huntington is,,, its small and comfortable it is. This is where I want to live. The only thing now is the money. I know I could make a poetry book and try to get it published. I'm extremely worried. I don't know if I want to put my thoughts out there in the world. Theres a lot of what ifs also. What if a publisher turns me down. What if I do get published and its absolutely horrible and doesn't sale... and so on. I know it would make some money but I have no clue to start and thats also dooming me away from any free time. I can't do it right now.

Mason your great and I love you sweetie. I don't know where'd I be if it wasn't for you. You complete me. I'm dubbing this song our song because when we were at the concert this was the one that just clicked.

Heaven
By Bryan Adams

Oh - thinkin' about all our younger years
There was only you and me
We were young and wild and free
Now nothin' can take you away from me
We've been down that road before
But that's over now
You keep me comin' back for more

Chorus

Baby you're all that I want
When you're lyin' here in my arms
I'm findin' it hard to believe
We're in heaven
And love is all that I need
And I found it here in your heart
It isn't too hard to see
We're in heaven

Oh - once in your life you find someone
Who will turn your world around
Bring you up when you're feelin' down
Ya-nothin' could change what you mean to me
Oh there's lots that I could say
But just hold me now
Cause our love will light the way

Chorus

I've been waitin' for so long
For somethin' to arrive
For love to come along
Now our dreams are comin' true
Through the good times and the bad
Ya - I'll be standin' there by you

Time to get ready for bed

Love you Mason

Sweet dreams

Peace!
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