Jump to User:

myOtaku.com: Chiciro


Friday, July 30, 2004


   Its time to update even though I rather not...
Alright, where to start? Ok... the last thing ~~~~> Pepsi Bowling Tournament. First off the whole experience was awesome!! I broke out of my shell and was the person I wish I always was. I was outgoing and fun to be around. I made quite a few friends and even met a few cuties! One especially, that I will most definately keep in touch with. I'm glad I had a good time but I really stank at bowling. I didn't make the cut for finals. I tied for 21st place out of 42 gals. I could have done a lot better. I had fun, made friends, and got a lot of stuff!

When I returned I had the church trip. I got up very early and caught the tour bus with the youth church group. Yes Chippy was there, as well as everyone else. When we got to the Beach Water Park in Cincinati, I decided to hang with Bubba and his friends. I had fun but I definately felt like an outsider looking in. Everyone has been close and I walk in, the newbie, the outsider. I enjoy all the people but I felt misplaced. I know somebody out there knows the feeling. We had fun, I talked to everybody, tried water slides that I would never do in my life and got burnt fairly well. On our way back Chippy and Will decide to dress in drag. Ashley made them over and I provided Chippy with clothes. It was hilarious and there seemed to be some contact between me and Chippy like there was some hope. Man was I wrong. His ex was on the trip and decided to try to get back together with him. They talked and I silently cried. I knew from the reaction Chippy had that he was torn. I showed my support later telling hing if he ever needs to talk to me he can call me. I'll always be here. He acknowledged it and that was all. I went home complaining to William.

Ok heres where my luck turns completely bad. Both my cats pass away, one on Saturday, the other Tuesday. Wednesday, Chippy gets back together with his ex, which leads me to believe I was the rebound girl, the girl on the side til his ex came back to him. So at the end of church I stand there wondering what in Gods name was I doing at church. I'm the biggest ass sinner. I went to church for a guy. I'm not religious, why am I here? How much longer should I pull this shurade. I don't know if I'll go next Wednesday. I'm still pondering that.

Right now I have hit rock bottom. I have nothing to cry on because my cats aren't here. My life is whack. I don't know why I'm here. This is truely where I feel like I have nothing to live for. I just feel like a shadow. And it Stinks.

Comments (1)

« Home