Wednesday, July 20, 2005

   and now it begins...
Well first off I want to express how much I love the fact my father is spying on me through my journal. I knew he was earlier despite the fact he said his "friend" was sending him my journal entries. But now he has joined 1 of my 3 journal sites to make it official. I have a question, would you consider your father/mother spying on you stepping on your toes??? I believe so. Dad says its the only way he can keep up with my life. At the rate its going this is the only thing he'll have left of me. So DAD you want to keep pushing me away or what... that is your choice 100%.

Don't worry I'm going to still express myself openly and honest no matter who read it. So warning to you dad, The truth hurts get over it.

Now that I got that out of my way..

I woke up from an almost sleepless night (don't know why) and found out the stuff above... yea peachy. I got ready and went to Masons. He was still asleep when I got there so I napped next to him until he woke up. It was perfect. I love the fact something that little makes my day. I'd sleep with him any day, I always have a good sleep when I do. (BTW its nothing dirty like sex... geez how low can ya get thinking like that lol j/k, luv ya guys!!)

We spent a couple of hours cuddling and then finally went to the Mall to pick up some things for his mom and sister. I finally told him 2 mangas I wanted for my birthday. I don't need them... its just something to have. He has yet realized he's completed my life where I don't really need anything. He filled that hole I had... its the hole that isn't filled with love from family and friends. Its only filled by the one that your in love with. Just being with him is enough for me, even though it still feels like we never have enough time with each other. I was at his house from 10:45am to 8:00pm, I know its a lot but I'd rather spend it with him than sit here at the house doing nothing.

Despite what several people say, Mason has dealt with my faults so far and hasn't dumped me yet and vise versa. I believe he was delivered to me to make both of us better people and to help us both grow. I still haven't had any doubts with him. Wouldn't it be funny if Mason and I stick it out longer than everyone has expected. Then I can got told you fucking so. I hate doubters and non believers, they bring you down, especially when it can be family.

I'm a little upset that my Friday plans are being shot down, one bullet hole at a time. Meaning friends are backing out. I know Alene will go especially if I can talk my ex, ben, into going. I'm glad ben and I finally started talking again. I mean really talking, there was a time when things were too odd to talk after the split. I mean at least 3 years of distance after we split. Well now we're talking again, luckily. I don't like having weird feeling between anybody. I think I have Ben almost convinced to go bowling so I can invertly get Ben and Alene talking and at least encourage Alene to ask been on a date or something. But now I'm just gonna tell them sorry I couldn't get enough people to go so I'm going to go by myself and bowl for a dollar a game. I told Mason how much my group of friends fell through and he said he'll go with me. It will be fun, I love spending time with him, it just sucks when you try to plan something like this and thought it would be really awesome and then everyone backs out. Argg it just ticks me off. I don't blame my friends... I just hate not getting what I want.

Well I'm going to read my 5th Harry Potter book.

Love you Mason

Sweet dreams

much love

Peace
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