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myOtaku.com: Chiciro


Wednesday, October 11, 2006

part 2
Things are going alright. Mason and I are still together but obviously it doesn't feel the same to me. A) I'm afraid I might do or say somthing that will mess it up. B) I'm afriad he still is thinking about the other girls when he's not with me or even with me. C) He'll still finds the relationship boring. I know we've only just recently talked out our problems and have started to work on them, but I'm still bothered and VERY weary. Does he want this? Does he really want to be in this relationship? The more I think about it the more I think he does, otherwise he wouldn't still be in it. I'm so emotionally exhausted that what he does now whether he leaves me or stays I'm going to be numb for a while. I've cried so much in the past 6 days I'm so drained. I want things to work out but not where he's not happy in it either. I wish he'd say "I want this to work" or give a suggestion on what we should do. Show some kind of encouraging sign that this is what he wants. I know he wants me to be happy, but what does HE actually want. Molly and my mom both believe we just need a few days to a week apart. I'm not sure what I want now. If he's thinking of someone else, what am I? Am I now just a part of the family that he loves? Its tough and very rough. We'll see where this goes...
I love him and always will. I pray things work out.

Maybe I'll go shopping and see a movie with my mom next weekend. I need some girl fun. I'm thinking about doing a small winter trip to somewhere to just get away. Don't know where yet... somewhere secluded and quiet would be nice so I can do some reading and catch up on ps2 games. ::sigh::
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