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myOtaku.com
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Female
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• Um...I forgot?
Member Since
• 2004-10-10
Occupation
• I'm broke
Real Name
• Guess
Personal
Achievements
• Music; art, acting
Anime Fan Since
• The first time I saw Dragonball Z, which I think is kind of pathetic. that was about 3 years ago. YAY CARTOON NETWORK!
Favorite Anime
• DN Angel, Rave Master, Rurouni Kenshin, Gundam Seed, Yu Yu Hakusho, .hack//dusk, Chobits, Angel Sanctuary, Kare Kano, Fruits Basket, Naruto, Saiyuki, Bleach
Goals
• To become a better pianist than Vladimer Horiwitz
Hobbies
• Music; singing; drawing;
Talents
• Music, art, theatre, speaking and reading some Japanese
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Tuesday, April 5, 2005
+_+
KYO-CHAN IS MINE, LIN-CHAN!!!!!! I WILL PROVE HOW MUCH I LOVE HIM!!!
I will fight you for him always, Lin-chan!
Kyo is so good looking...
Lucky Kyo-chan! I love cats...
You see, Lin-chan? You cannot beat me in my love for Kyo-chan. Can you share his pain? No? I can. Let me tell you my story...
I don't exactly have the best HOME LIFE in the world. I don't ever want to see my father again as long as I live. I share Kyo's loneliness. I was shunned by my schools in both towns until I got my life straighted out in 8th grade. Up until then, everyone made fun of me. People rejected me because of who I was without even getting to know me. I was quiet in elementary because of it. When my parents got a divorce, my life went crashing down. I learned that everything that I had ever been told about my father was a big lie. He had lied to me for my entire life, and I had fallen into his trap. He abused my mother and lied about her to his family. I belieed him for a while, but then my mom told me the thurth. I was in mental torment for years because I could not fathomn the thought of him being wrong. I became extremely angry, lashing out at people and starting fights at school when I got angry enough. I had to go through two years of therapy and anger management. I was so angry. Angry at my father for lying to me. Angry at my mother for not telling me that he was hurting her. Angry at myself because I believed him and trusted him. He lied to me! HE LIED! He still lies! He treated me the same way he did mom. Mental and emotional abuse that I won't go into. I told him that I didn't want to see him for visitation anymore, and now he's telling his family that it is becasu of my emotional problems. that I'm depressed and angry. That I need therapy again. I won't go back to therapy! I won't! I went through hell my fourth grade year! I went through extreme depression! I had thoughts (and failed attempts) of suicide! But I didn't let it show at school unless I got angry. I was happy and sweet to everyone. ask any of my classmates. I had a few boyfriends that year, craving the love that I wasn't getting at home from my jerk of a dad and my poor stressed out and hurt mother. I didn't want anyone else to know, or they might have pushed me away and avoided me. I wanted to be loved. I wanted to be liked and cared for, not abused and yelled at. I hated going home. My dad broke my valuable possesions before my eyes, then would beat me for "making a mess". That was the year I moved to Millersburg from Coshocton. I had to completely start over. New school, new church, new home, new town, new county. I knew no one and nothing. I hated it here. I felt like I was drowning in lukewarm water all the time. Seriously. I couldn't get any air. My life crashed when my parents started fighting! My sisters were no help1 They just got me in trouble with dad! He beat me for no reason! I hated it. sometimes, I hate my dad. I wish I had another father. But no. My dad is even getting married again. He'll do the same thing. He's Mr. Wonderful around everyone else, but at home he's a jerk. He always will be. I can't stand him. The only positive thing baout him is that I don't have to see him anymore. I'm serious. I swear if he shows up at my graduation, graduation party, or wedding, I might hurt him, or at least yell at him. I won't talk to him. I'll ignore him. I don't care how mad he gets. If he died this instant I wouldn't care and hope he left me the good computer. That's cruel, I know, but it's how I feel.
So, still think you have more on me for Kyo-chan? I haven't even told you the SURFACE of my tormented past. I haven't told you about my internal struggls that I still have. Don't think that I'm just happy all the time. I'm not.
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