Saturday, January 21, 2006

an eyeliner story - can you keep a secret?
studying is pissing me off. but i still have time to talk to you guys injoy.

After standing in the kitchen for a further 2 mins you head to the living room and sit beside billy.
He puts his arm round your sholder.You don't speak, you feel bad for carry and for paul as well. The secret you are keeping is to great to pass up, you have to tell someone about it so they can help but you want to stay true to your friend.Paul enters the room just as you lift your head.
"hey dude." says billy.
He's in a good mood. smily and all that.
"Hey." paul replies darkly.
You catch a glimpse of his eyes,you can see the pain and anger in them.He walks in to the kitchen and you get up and follow him closing the door after you.
"Paul." you say.
He truns round to face you.
"Wanna talk to me?" you say again
"Not really. besides how do you think you can help?"
He's very direct about this, but you just look into his eyes.
"I don't know." you finally say feeling bad.
He truns away from you.
You dicide to head upstairs to carry.

Standing outside the room door, you stall.
*what if she dosen't want to talk anymore?damn it ____ course she dosen't want to*
You feel a tap on your sholder and trun to see joel standing behind you.
"joel don't do that."
"sorry its just.......i wanted to inform you that mom's coming round and so's billy's mom.....so get dressed and tell carry if your going in."
You feel even more scared.
"what! but...but what if mrs martin dosn't like me......?"
"she will. its my mom im worried about."
"why?"
"she dosn't know im gay."
He walks off before you could reply, leaving you to continue wondering to go in or not.
Finally you knock and walk in.
"carry. um ......mrs madden and mrs martin are coming round....you have to get changed."
"what there coming all the way from waldorf?"
You nod.
"great."
she gets up of the bed and picks up some clothes to get changed into.She pushes past you to the bathroom.She walks in and locks the door.
*that didn't go well*
So you walk off to your room.
Billy's already getting changed.
"Hey honey." he says
"Hey, what should i wear then. i want to inpress your mom."
He comes over and puts his arm round your sholder.
"she'll love you don't worry."
Thats not what you where worried about.
you think for a moment.
"Billy honey can you keep a secret?"
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Saturday, January 14, 2006

i have killed my own friendship
i have a very inportant message for my friend well accually my best friend. I really love our frinedship and i have all the way through it. if i have done something then please tell me. is it because of who i am and what i stand for? is it because of this kerry thing. you know who you are and the way your acting is really hurtful please don't be like this. i cried yesterday for an hour and today for 30 minites over thinging i would lose another one. please come around and don't let me kill our friend ship please.


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Wednesday, January 11, 2006

an eyeliner story - to kill a mocking bird.
kay heres the verdic im gonna stay off for a while due to exams and stuff so the eyeliner story shall be cut short for a while and when i come back i shall skip stuff inbetween and to veiw the stuff i have skipped then go to my planet angelfire thing, its below.

It's a new year and that means a new start.You now being a month pregant its still early days not to mention you being engaged to Billy, and still living with paul,joel and benji.Carry was raped and she's scared and avoding paul.

"So i was thinking how about we get a house of our own someplace in the country?" asks billy putting his arms round you and kissing you softly.
He puts his hands on your stomach.
"i don't know what ever you think." you reply teasing him.
He kisses you again,just as carry walks into the kitchen.
"Seriously why are you always here?" asks billy.
"i moved in here you ass hole." she replies, shes not a very happy carry.
You break free from billys sholder lock and fallower to the kettle.
"Hey are you okay."you ask.
"What do you think?"
you can tell shes upset and wants to talk to you with out billy standing over you.You look back at billy and signal for him to leave.He leaves with a sulky face.
"Wanna talk to me about it?" you ask.
"Not really but i will."
She makes herself and you a cup of coffee and heads to the table, you follow.
sitting across from her you look into her eyes.
"Is it this paul = man thing?"
"yeah."
she looks back at you her eyes are full of pain.
"Go to paul for help i know that your scared and all men arn't like tre."
She shook her head.
" you don't understand. most men are like tre i know for a fact."
"your right i don't get it."
"im gonna tell you something that maybe will help you, i used to have a boyfriend 2 or 3 years ago. He raped me night after night and he let his friends rape me. Everytime i tried to leave he found me and punished me."
You look at her, stunned at what you just heard.
She just stared into her cup.
"Is..is he still looking for you?" you ask hoping the answer is no.
She hesatates.
"is he?"
"yes.....i think."
you can feel the fear and anger swealing inside you.
"You have to tell paul, if not im then joel."
You get up as if to make your way to the living room.
"no!" carry graps your arm.
" you have to...or he could find you and kill paul."
She looks into your eyes....this is no joke.
"Please tell them!" you say.
Lowering her head she lets go of you."
"No."
she walks towards the stars but stops and looks back.
"im sorry."
you watch her as she head up stairs.
Oh to kill a mocking bird huh?!

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Friday, January 6, 2006

an eyeliner story - hes gone and done it #2
okay heres the next bit.

you look at her. Not love paul...but why? how?
"why?" you ask.
" i just can't, okay i can't." she looks at you, then down at her glass of wine.
You put your hand on hers.
"tell me."
She looks at you, her eyes are full of tears.
"im scared. really scared...and im scared that another man will ever do that to me again.....and paul is a man so you get it..."
"well hopefully paul is a ful man....and i get what you mean but...spare me...why stop lovign him?"
She sighs.
"i just can't love him anymore....i want to stop loving him...i never want to trust a man again."she begins to cry.
You don't know what to do...
"lets go back inside....im sure you and paul will sort it out."
You get up and leave and carry wipes her eyes and follows.
Carry passes you and leads the way inside, you look over to the spot where you and billy,joel and benji where sitting, they are still there but now acompanyed with paul.
Carry turns to you.
"i can't go over there."
you look at her.
"its okay, don't be scared."you replie.
It never affected you like this, why her? was there something bothering her from her past? had the samething happened before?
Despit what you think you link her arm and pull her over with you.
"hey!"says benji,"more wine for the bringing of the new year."
Benji fills carrys glass and billy fills yours with coke.
You sit back down beside billy and carry sits with you, paul looks worried. You would speak to him later.
Benji looks at his watch.
Eveeryone begins to count down.
"5..4..3..2..1! HAPPY NEW YEAR!"
it rang through out the hall....and everyone began to sing.
but was it really going to be a happy new year?

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Sunday, January 1, 2006

an eyeliner story - hes gone and done it. #1
guys whats the deal you arn't commenting......geezz but im only writing this on coz it keeps voices out of my head and i want to get the new year story over with. coz its evil and has 2 parts and im just waffling.
~back info~
Billy has proposed to you, benji got what he wanted for christmas (i think) and joel had a good time with his boyfriend. But carry is still not speaking.....she hasn't spoken since before the rape....which i don't know is a bad or a good thing.
It is now new years eve and its just you, carry and the boys celebrating,with about a number of other rockstars at the stuio...

You, billy, benji and joel are sitting in a corner. Paul and carry elsewhere.
"new years revalutions people.!"says joel.
"Me first!" yells benji.
"fine!"
"okay....first off.."
"oh this is gonna be long!" interups billy.
"shut up!anyway...love cash more, like billy less because of his comment....and love cash more."
billy looks at you...
"you said that twice."you say
benji shurgs...
"okay us next!" says billy.
"oh so its us now." joel says,"just coz your getting married."
billy gives him a look..yes the look (gasp)
"okay...love every moment of being with ____ and my new son"
"yeah...but the babys gonna be a girl honey...anyway mine is look after my family as best i can and keep new years revalutions."
benji laughs.
"okay truth be told i don't have a new years revaltion and dont need one."says joel.
"ohhh smarty pants."you whisper.

~else where across the room.~
"come on carry..tell me whats up" says paul taking carrys hand.
"i don't wanna talk about it."
"youv been so tight since you know what."he replies.
"please just leave it."
"come on."
"NO!LEAVE ME ALONE."she yells and walks away leaving paul stunnded.
You notice this from across the room and quickly go after her.
YOu follow her outside to find her crying by a wall.
*tre damn you you'v gone and broke her!* you think.
"carry wanna talk about it?" you sit beside her and but your arm round her sholders.
"im so scared, and paul won't just leave me alone and it feels like everyone keeps ganging up on me."she cries into your sholder.
you look into the sky.
"it'll be okay!" you reasure her as much as possible.
"no it won't after what happened...im so scared that it'll happen again..."
"so what your sasying is you don't want sex just tell paul that."
"no no you dont understand...i can't love paul anymore!"
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Saturday, December 24, 2005

an eyeliner story - what goes down must always come up.
hey well in this one it jumps to christmas after the first paragraph.

You look at him.
"no no.....we can't go to the ploice he'll come back and get me and carry." you say shaking your head.
"No no he won't please trust me."billy replies gripping your sholders.
" this is tre....he will."
billy looks you in the eye.
"no he won't i promise ill protect you and the baby...so he won't hurt ether of you."
Suddenly benji runs into the room.
"Where were you?" asks joel.
"I was calling Billie Joe."he replies.
"Why?"
"to warn him..that tres back and to lock the doors and windows."
Joel nods his head.
"Well done brother...well done."
Benji looks pleased with himself.
"We don't have to talk to the ploice now all we gotta to is clear this place up, and get a cup of coffee...and ...."says billy putting his arms round you.
"Do u really know what to do?" you ask
"No."

25th december christmas.
You sit in the living room, billy beside you.
"Its not really a nice christmas is it?" you say.
"Nah...considering carry was raped...i don't think so."
You look at carry and paul in the kitchen, she was holding a cup of coffee and paul had his arm round her.
"Are joel and benji up yet."you ask
" nah. bad thing is im gonna kill one of um if the don't hurry up and get up coz we can't open anything till they do."
You laugh.
"big kid."you smile at him.
"hey you cheeky devil." he kisses you."my cheeky devil" he kisses you again.
Suddenly benji rushes into the room followed by joel.
"ITS CHRISTMAS."he yells.
Paul and carry enter the room.
"we know. we all have known from 7 this morning." paul says angrely.
Carry hasn't spoke to anyone in a while and if she has it was a breif 'hey' or'yes' or'no'.
"So who gives preses frist?" asks benji rubbing his hands together.
"Oh me." says billy shooting his hand in the air.
You smile at him.
"okay fine." benji sits down beside cash.
Every one picks billys preses up from under the tree and opens them but there isn't one for you.
"You think iv forgotten about you?" he asks.
You look at him.
"no....have you?"
He takes out a small circler box from his hoddie pocket.
"Hey guys look!" says joel pointing to a box.
Billy gets down on one knee.
"_____ ______. Would you do me the favor of once again....becoming my wife."
You look at him you can feel a tear in your eyes.
"Of course!" you say.
He puts the ring on your finger and hugs you.
"One question though. why do you alwasy wait till im pregant?"
every one laughs......but no matter how jolly christmas is .....no one can block out what just happened....it was still there and no one can change the past.

okay guys i won't be posting tomorrow but till next time.
MERRY CHRISTMAS!
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Friday, December 23, 2005

an eyeliner story- the one where christmas is ruined.
So every things up to scratch again gud.

You and carry sit up in her and pauls room, carry hadn't spoke to you at all but you and her had just cried together.
"Im so selfesh." carry finally says," you went through this for months, and im acting like its a big deal, when you went through it more."
You look at her.
"no its scary....and your not being selfish.....i know how you feel and i felt and still feel the same....im really scared right now...without the guys i feel unsafe..."
You start to cry.
"They have to come home they just have to."carry cries as well. Cash dogg sitting on the bed infront of you watching you both...wondering what was going on.
Suddenly a car pulls up outside of the house and the door brust open.
"CARRY! _____!"it was Joel,benji,paul and billy they are back.
You hear their footsteps on the stairs.
Carry looks at you.
"When did you call them?" she asks.
"Hours ago...i think."
The door brust open and billy is standing in the door way.
"_____!CARRY!" he looks releaved.
"billy." you say "my god...thank you."
you jump up and throw your arms round him.
Paul,joel and benji soon follow.
"CARRY!"paul cries.
He throws his arms round her.
"Im so sorry i wasn't here...please tell me your okay...what am i talking about course your not okay."he says.
Carry begins to cry.
"Billy how did you get here so fast....?" you ask
"You rang us hours and hours ago....and we got a plane form texas."
"Thank you for coming......what about the gig?"
"It was cancelled."you look at him "but it dosen't matter about some stubid gig...we had to come back for you guys.....and also to tell the ploice."
you looked him.


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Thursday, December 22, 2005

an eyeliner story - the one where shes tramatised.
Okay first of all thank god in heaven that i finally got a comment like whats going on you guys liked this a while ago.

You kneel down beside carry.
"please talk, don't just look at me like that say something."
Carry looks at you somemore.
"Tre...he...he was here...looking for you and he...he...when he couldn't find you he...raped me." she brusted into tears.
YOu look at her and cry as well, you suddenly feel scared and vonrable.
"Come with me..." you geantaly pull her off the toilet seat and into the hall.
"You go upstairs and ill let cash in."
You throw your arms round her.
"itll be okay i know how you feel."
you let go and carry walks up the stairs slowly while you let cash in who then follows you as you head up.
You enter paul and carrys room and sit down beside her.
"Carry im so sorry i wasn't here then he..he would have left you alone and raped me."
Carry looks at you.
"i couldn't put you or the baby through that."
Carry pulls her knees to her chest and looks away.
YOu stare at her. *shes tramatised*
"Ill ring billy and paul...okay tell them to come home."
she dosen't answer she just rocks from side to side.
You reach for the fone and dial billys cell number.
"Hello." he answers.
"billy." you say trying to hold the tears from your voice but can't.
"____whats wrong?" he asks,"whats happened."
YOu swallow hard.
"Carry....i was......tre....he raped her."
billy gasped.
"shit...are you okay..the baby...and carry."
"I don't know i wasn't here im fine the babys fine but carrys tramatised you all need to get back here now.." you begin to breakdown," idon't feel safe...im scared billy pleasse you have to do something."
Billy begins to cry you can hear him.
"im sorry but we can't ......but....i don't know what to do..."
Suddenly you hear the guys in the back round asking whats happening and billys tells them then paul grabs the fone.
"Carry put her one."
you pass the fone over and carry takes it.
"carry are you okay talk to me im so sorry."
she says nothing.
"carry?"
you take it from her.
"im sorry but shes tramatised she isn't speaking."
"we gotta get home now."the fone hangs up.
you look at carry....
*im so sorry*
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Friday, December 16, 2005

an eyeliner story-the one where you find her in the bathroom.
hey im really getting some hightime on this, its like the 3rd post iv made in a row.

After 30 mins carry crawls into the bathroom sits on the tolet seat.She's so scared she can't talk, or even move anymore.Tears feel unto her cheeks.
*this must be how ___felt but for much longer*She looks outinto the hallway, it was dark and unwelcomeing, it scares her so much that she just wants to huddle on that tolet seat forever and do nothing but pray.

You wave to amy lee as you get into the car.
"Bye lovely meeting you!" she cries waving back.
"Bye same to you!"
You climb in eventually and head off back to the house.
When you finally are stopped at trffic lights you pick up your fone and call home.
It rings and it rings.

Carry stares out into the hall way!
The ringing won't stop, it just won't.
She huddles closer to the wall.
*please make it go away.*

"Thats strange." you say aloud.
You put the fone back into your bag and take a detour home.
You drive as fast as you can without being caught, and fianlly pull into the drive of your home.
You rush out of the car forgeting the shopping and push open the door.
*the door wasn't locked.*you ask yourself this question.
"Carry where are you?" you scream.
You walk into the living room to find everything onthe floor ether broken or on the verge of it.
"Shit!" you whisper.
YOu head into the kitchen to find the same thing and then into the hallway, there at the bottom was the bathroom and there was carry.
Huddled in a ball wating for someone to help her.
"Carry!" you scream and quickly run towards her.
YOu reach her and out your hand on her arm.
"Carry, oh carry please say something what happened?" you ask,
carry just looks at you and says nothing.
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Thursday, December 15, 2005

an eyeliner story - the one where bad things start!
okay hey good 2 days in a row......but im missing my reculars and if you guys wanna catch up on the action you can ether scroll all the way down or visit my web page when all comes up. *smiles*

11.30am
"Im leaving carry see you laters." you head out the door to do last moment christmas shopping.
carry dosen't feel to good so you leave her behind.
"Bye take care." she calls as you get into the car.
You smile and drive off.
"Oh cash what are we gonna do today then?" she pets the dogs head, cash wags his small stumb of a tail.
"I can't take you for a walk boy im sorry." she says,"i don't feel good."
Cashes face falls, and he walks of in a pouty way.
Carry lies down on the couch in the living room and watches t.v.

1.45
"Who are you out with."asks carry.
"Oh i met ville valo in the store me and him met one other time and well you know how it goes, oh yeah and i met Amy lee we're all just hanging out now, but villes just away home." you replie.
"Oh exciting.im just chilling."
You laugh.
"Okay won't want to hold you back."
YOu hang up and carry is left to herself again.
"I think ill lie down again." carry heads to the living room and was just about to lie down when she heard a knock on the door.
She gets up and answers.
"Hey," carry looked up to see the face of Tre cool.
"Shit! get away from me."she cries trying to close the door but he pushes it back.
Finally the door throws her to the ground.Carry starggers to her feet as tre folows her in to the house.
"wheres _____!"he cries.
"Leave me alone you bastard."carry yells running to the kitchen.
"Where the hell is _____"
"I don't know!"
Tre grabs carry arm.
"Where the hell is that bitch!"
Carry starts to cry.
"Leave me alone."
Tre throws her to the floor.
"If you tell me where she is ill hurt."
Tears run down carrys cheeks.
"I don't know."
Tre grips her neck and holds her down.
"You'll have to do then." he smiles pervertidly.
He undoes his pants and the pulls carry's sweat pants down.
carry tries to scream but her throat was burnning.
He forces himself into her.
"Leave me alone,please stop!"
"Shut the fuck up!"
Carry lies there with tre ontop of her for 30miuties before he decides to leave her.
Tre lets go of her and pulls his pants up.
"Pity the dog was outside."he says as he starts searching the cupboards.
"What are you doing." carry says.
"Looking for something."he replies.
He starts throwing things onto the floor like glasses and mugs.
He moves into the living room and does the same eventually he leaves knowing he can't find what he wants.
The last thing carry hears is the door slam then silence.
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