Tuesday, February 14, 2006

   Rawr!!!

Okay, I am majorly screwed: I have tons of overdue homework, lots of almost overdue stuff to hand in, Cosplays to make, a truckload of stuff piled up in my room to sort out, people to talk to, small children to take care of…

@_@ it’s all sooooo stressful

Oh well, I’ll live, I just won’t sleep for a week (not that that’s unusual for me).

Anyway, I think the reason I’m actually posting is to explain why I haven’t been doing so for the past two months.

First off: school. I’ve been threatened with Homework report, late report and could be with behavior report if I continue being placed next to the rowdy girls in my class (teachers cannot seem to distinguish me from them, not matter how much I drag my desk away from theirs). Homework is the main thing, though, and considering I get about two hours plus a night, it’s really no wonder I don’t manage to get on the computer any more (other than to do homework, of course). The late report thing doesn’t directly relate to the computer, it’s just that if it happens (and even though it isn’t my fault, it’s the school bus) I get “sanctions” from my mother, the main one being no computer for a week.

Well, actually, now I think about it, most things that have happened that have prevented me from getting a post up are related to school, i.e. the people there.

I’m not going into detail, as I recently discovered my mother watching the shopping cannels, one product in particular, a computer program which records keystrokes, internet activity, remote access etc, without the user’s knowledge. I have a growing suspicion she’s bought it, as she has stopped walking through the room which houses the computer to have a nosey at my screen, which is a sure sign she is using some other method of spying on my doings.

Basically, there are some very nasty people that go to my school and get my bus. And even when you haven’t done anything to them, they verbally attack you and, more recently, your friends.

Of course, that’s only in one of the two situations: in the other, I’m one corner of a Love come Hate triangle, which is on the verge of becoming violent…

Well, when I say on the verge, more like over the verge and hurtling toward the ground…

It all started when I befriended some guy who was in the cast of the school play I was taking part in. Said guy also caught my bus, and I had previously talked to him on it. Said guy also had a very persistent and painfully obvious admirer, whom I was an acquaintance with prior to when said guy and myself started going out (oh, it was so not obvious that was going to happen -_-). At this point, I was happy, he was happy and (as far as I could tell) said guy’s admirer come stalker was content, despite me going out with him. Of course, she did get a little upset when said guy and I were dancing together at the Christmas party (ran out of the room and didn’t go back in for an hour or so). After that, we had two weeks off for Christmas, the whole time of which said guy and I had no contact with each other.

When school started again, I was all happy about seeing him and talking him again, but he completely ignored me for two days. Now, I’m not a very tolerant or patient person when it comes to these things, and two days is pretty good for me. Still, it got to day number 3, and all my friends were urging me to end it. So I did, and rather nastily too. It was just a simple “you’re dumped” sorta thing, but I had a big sadistic grin on my face and almost immediately after saying it, while still in sight and hearing range, I went running into school cheering and jumping…

About a week later, I was regretting it badly: I couldn’t sleep at all, and my schoolwork was beginning to get affected. I really wanted to apologize and talk to him, as I hadn’t since I ended it, but I couldn’t bring myself to do it out of sheer embarrassment.

Yet another two weeks later, I still hadn’t done or said anything, so on a sudden creative urge, I wrote a letter. It was very long and wordy (three A4 pages, 10pts, Times new Roman ^_^*), and it was pretty raw too. I gave it to one of his friends to give to him with the instruction it was for said guy’s eyes only.

Can you guess what’s coming next?

The letter ended up being circulated around his entire year group. At first he refused to even accept it, but with some “persuasion” (threatening, but not violent: I wouldn’t allow it) by a very good friend of mine (thanks Crush if you are by some strange chance reading this ^_~), we got him to read it. He was laughing all the way through, from beginning to end, and even when he had already passed it on to the next reader. I watched through narrowed eyes as it was passed down the bus, ripped, licked, and even wiped on someone’s arse.

The only good thing to come out of that letter was freedom from my emotions, freedom from my guilty conscience and a good long look at a side of said guy I thought was impossible to exist.

So, with me completely out of the picture, the aforementioned said guy’s admirer was getting right in there.

I let her get on with it.

I think it was last Wednesday: said guy’s admirer had given said guy some chocolates, and an amazing card she had made herself, with all the lettering done with individual letters cut out of newspapers and magazines. It was pretty amazing. And you know what he did? He laughed when she gave it to him, and then left it on the bus.

She was in tears the next morning.

Of course, she, like me, realized he wasn’t worth any effort we made, so she gave up.

Unfortunately for said guy, not only was she upset, she was angry, and although I hadn’t known her long, one thing I knew about was her temper and her limitless ability to do outrageous things to other people, no matter the consequences.

I still laugh nervously at the thought: I really feel I should have stopped her, but instead I stood there and watched as she did it, laughing and joining the other spectators.

You know what she did? She smashed a tomato in his face, and then put the stalk on top of his head. Sounds both funny, and incredibly mean, no?

But anyway, the way she did it was so incredibly smooth: she went and sat next to him and says “Bethan (me) and I are sorry, but-“then she smashed the tomato in his face and walked off calmly.

So yeah: now I’ve got that off my chest, some random things…

I’ve been watching this awesome podcast lately: it’s a video podcast by this random guy and it’s called Track Shun. Basically, I think it’s weekly, he’ll review and show clips of anime airing in Japan. It is incredibly cool.

Also, I’ve been doing a lot more drawing recently. I’ve got two pictures up today, with a few half-colored ones to put up tomorrow. Thanks to a lot of recent events, my creative block is gone…

Oh, Happy Valentines Day by the way ^_^

Luff and hugs <3

C.c

P.S I've never noticed this before, but my birthday is exactly a week away from Valentines Day. Ain't that weird?

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