Thursday, August 17, 2006

   I don't get it

Oh my O_o

You guys thought I was QUITTING???

Gosh…I wouldn’t just get up and leave you guys!

I PROMISE I am not going to leave! Honest!!!

So, what has been going on in my life since my last post in May?

Well, to be honest, a hec of a lot: I gained friends, lost friends, took my exams, got back my grades, turned into a Ghost, a Radioactive Half-Dog Superhero, Superman himself, Macbeth and an Alien hunting little girls in their back yard, been to Spain, walked up a Mountain, beat up a worm, done some very ambitious artwork and discovered I am going to two concerts as a reward for being *ahem* good.

The friends’ thing first: it’s kinda important. It’s also affected my time spent on the computer, so it may also help you guys understand my sudden disappearance a while back…

I’m sure I’ve mentioned this before, but in my class there are two groups: Myself and my group (total: 9) and everyone else (total: 15). Of course, there are a few neutral parties, although if they were asked which side to belong to, no doubt it wouldn’t be mine.

Obviously, as always in these situations, there was conflict between the two groups: it all started when I and the self-appointed ring leader of “everyone”, hereby named Jasmine, became friends. Yes, strange, I know: but how else could she have become my arch nemesis?

Basically, she began to ignore me, put me down, call me stupid, immature names, Bitch about me etc. I clung on for months, even when she joined a new group of friends, I tried so hard to gain entry to their circle, but failed miserably, due to Jasmine’s obvious dislike of me. The rest of her group began to join in her taunting, and I realised I just didn’t want to try any more. I gave up, although I think it was definitely too late…

The only reason I didn’t change classes to escape it were other two girls and her group of friends: Reshma and Becca, who both had, and still have, even bigger problems of their own, though very different to mine, helped me through everything, even though it put them and their friends in the line of fire.

In fact, Jasmine and her cronies tried very hard to alienate my friends; sabotage my relationship with them, and effectively destroy my social standing. Thankfully, all the friends I had were stronger than that, and they stood by me through it all.

Up until around May, the taunts and bullying had been very subtle, and usually at Lunch time when there were no teachers to stop their antics, but then things started getting way out of hand: during class, they would switch our chairs around and put stuff on them, steal our books, throw our things around the classroom, draw on us, hug us and pretend to be nice, verbally taunt us, throw things at us and Jasmine actually slapped my bum once.

We managed to put up with it, as did the teachers, who didn’t seem to notice, or if they did, didn’t seem to care.

But one day, it got too much for me, and I snapped: we were doing drama outside (‘cause it was an otherwise lovely sunny day), and she just so happened to beat me in one of the warm up games. Now, being an ex-friend of mine, she has had first hand experience of my temper, and had, as it turned out, learned to use it against me. She got me fired up pretty quickly, gloating about how she beat me. I didn’t really care for such immature behaviour, so I ignored it. Yeah, inside I was fuming, but I controlled myself. It was when she started doing impressions of me that I couldn’t bear it much longer.

I’m not normally a violent person, so what I did scares me to this day: we were heading back inside after drama. She had continued to provoke and antagonise me through the lesson, as did her friends. I was quite a way in front of her, walking with Reshma and Becca, who were trying to calm me down a bit (another one of the things that made them great friends for me: they were good at noticing when I was angry, which is hard because I always vehemently deny it). Unfortunately, more so for me than her, Jasmine started with her impressions again, her friends roaring with deliberate laughter. I stopped in my tracks, ignoring Reshma’s “What the hell are you doing?” and Becca’s “You’ll regret it…” , marched up to Jasmine, pushed her to the ground and kicked her repeatedly screaming “You ruined my life.”

Suddenly realising what I had done, I turned and ran. Jasmine and her gang were silent. They remained that way through our next lesson, which I spent sitting in the far corner shaking and trying in vain to get on with my work.

After Lunch, which, for the first time in ages had not been disturbed by Jasmine and company, was registration, although our form tutor was nowhere to be seen. Jasmine’s crew were all present: except for Jasmine herself.

Much to my friend’s surprise, though not my own, our form tutor and an “upset” looking Jasmine appeared at the classroom door. He came in and asked to see me.

The rest is History, really: he tells me off for being violent, losing my temper, and so on, asks me why I did it, tells me he is putting it on my record and if anything happens again…

He made me apologise to Jasmine, and asked me one last time if I could explain why I had done such a thing. I just told him I let my anger control me. Nothing else.

Being the idiot he is, he was like “Well, I am glad that’s sorted. Now, back into the classroom!”

I think maybe I let my temper get the best of me, but the situation was very badly handled by my teacher. In fact, the entire class scenario was handled badly. It still hasn’t been fixed, and I doubt it will be this year…

A good outlet for the stuff that was happening, I found, was drama. I managed to snag a decent part in the school play. It was Titanic (though it was rather different from the movie), and I ended up playing “The Spirit”, who popped up every now and then to deliver some utterly incomprehensible lines, that had nothing to do with anything. Despite the fact that the part was just plain odd, it had the most lines.

We also did a production of Macbeth, where I played Macbeth, which was fun, as he’s quite an angry guy. All in all, quite a useful thing to do: good job I’m taking it as a GCSE course next year…

I’m also taking Art, German and French as my optional GCSE subjects, as well as the typical and compulsory lot of Maths, Chemistry, Physics, Biology, English Literature, English Language, Information Technology (computing) and religious studies. So that means no more History, Geography or Physical education! Wooooooo!

It’s all a bit confusing, really. But that’s what I’m gonna have to deal with next year, so I should try and get my head around it now…

Hmph. Not done anything Anime-related for ages…

Absolutely forever ago, I started watching this anime called “Ouran High School Host Club”. It’s rather good. You should go and watch it ^_^

Well, that’s all I can churn out for now. Ta ta, y’all!

Much luff,

C.c

P.S: You absolutely MUST go and see this video my cousin, my brother and myself made...

Be afraid!

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