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wonderland online!
Yep, I'm finally on Fanfiction *rah, rah*
I'm so lost though T.T
I don't know how to add on chapters of a story all into one story, so each chapter is seperate T.T I also decided to put on the first fanfic I ever wrote before any others, just for the heck of it, but now I'm afraid to put any more on T.T
I mean, I know the story is no good, but it was my first one and this comment kind of upset me...a lot!
"We're in America. In America, Yuki's name is Yuki. There is no -kun. However, if you wanted to write the entire story in Japanese, then it would be acceptable to use -kun. I'm not sure if "hine" was a typo, or you oh so cleverly using a Japanese word in your story. If you did, no. You have to stop your writing career now and not start again until you're over thinking Japan is God. They were speaking English in the rest of the story, so just throwing in any and all Japanese words you happen to know just makes you look like a flamingly ignorant showoff. And an idiot.
You never, NEVER, insert yourself into a story. Especially not having the characters in love with you. That's for the bathtub. No one cares how much you love these other characters. Putting yourself into a story is called Mary Sue. Read about her, and learn to avoid her at all costs.
Stories need format. And this one doesn't have one. You're skipping writing styles around like crazy. It doesn't work. You can't be doing regular writing style, and then go to play style. It's annoying and confuses readers.
Your writing style needs work, too. Judging by that, I'd guess you're 11 or 12. If you're that age, your writing is fine. If you're older, holy crap never write another sentence. Ever.
Bye! :) :)"
T.T I don't think Japan is God, nor do I wish to show off. I just love to learn in general, and languages especially. I'm sorry that my use of -Kun was found so unacceptable. I just think that the honorfic system should be used more often. Americans can seem just plain rude...not going into that today.
If it's a fanfic on Japanese literature, why is it so wrong that I have japanese elements on it? So I live in America, so what????? Just because I live in America, does that mean that I can't write or pray in French, because if so--too late. No, I don't think French or France is God. I just like it and wanted to learn it because I want to visit France, just as I want to visit Japan. When I pray in French, it is not to praise French or myself, but to praise God. If I feel closer to God speaking to him in French instead of English, so what if I live in America? What if I told you I moved here from a French speaking area? Why should that matter?
I know that my writing style sucked. It was my first time doing a fanfic and I usually write plays, not stories. Perhaps I'm not young, simply unexperianced in a genre. It especially hurt to be told never to write again. My writing sucked due to inexperiance, meaning that I can get better through the experiance of writing more. Thomas Edison discovered 99 ways of how to not make a light bulb before discovering how to correctly make one. If after his first attempt someone had told him, "My God man, never try again", we would have no electricity!
Well, I'd better go for now...thank you, Otaku (oh no, I used Japanese again!!!) for giving me an outlet in which to let loose my sarcasm.
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Tonight, Yasha is coming over to sleep over ^^ We are going to drink tea, watch anime, go swimming, and have lots of fun!!!! So get out of my head, stupid comment!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
...must....remain...calm...
~Cia
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