Play
wonderland online!
I just feel kind of out of it. I'm still ill, so that doesn't help any. My day hasn't been going right at all. I hope that I can talk to Yasha later, but I shouldn't depend on her so much. I feel awful!!!! I'm pathetic and I'm taking advantage of her. She would be better off without me.
I have a bad headache right now, and trying to configure my school schedule isn't helping--it's just making me confused. I wish that I didn't feel so empty inside. My friends help me and make me wish I was at the movies with them or something, but that would only be temporary relief anyway.
I feel that I bog them down. I need to find a way for me to be happy, but until then they would be better off without me. I'm overly serious and into worrying about my self when I'm nothing. I love them and know that they deserve better.
Yeah, I guess that's it for now. Maybe I'll try working on my stories/songs, maybe not. They seem to only make me feel more depressed lately.
I think that I will be either taking a break or leaving the otaku soon. Anime doesn't mean to me what it used to. I was trying to use Anime to fill a hole in my life. As much as I like Anime, I think that I should let it slide into a casual like instead of an obsession. It's time for me to focus on other aspects of myself. I'll be going to college soon and will be on my own. My dreams of the future tend to involve me and no one else, because I don't want anyone else tied down because of my many problems.
I have met some very nice people on here. I know I shouldn't even ask, but if anyone would be willing to give me screen names or e-mails I will still talk if they still want to talk. I have aim and MSN messenger. I haven't decided yet if I will leave otaku, I may stay on here to talk to people.
I am very weak and find it a miracle that anyone loves me. I thank God for the people who have proved to me that love is possible and that I am loved.
That's all for now.
