Play
wonderland online!
I'm not sure what to say. A boy from my school died yesterday. My school is really small and really close, so this is a huge deal. My class also had a classmate die right before school started last year. This is very hard.
To top it all off, my medical problems are worse vs better. I've been working really hard cause of school and college stuff and made myself really sick with sinus/asthma junk. I'm still having problems with my neck and back and numbness and with adjusting insulin levels/hormone levels and diabetes complications. Sometimes...I just wish all this crap would stop. But then...I have to face reality again. I've gone through the whole suicidal bit...and right now I'm just going numb. Eating and sleeping no longer have purpose. Music is barely keeping me alive anymore. Writing...feh. I started trembling and almost passed out today and was taken home, my body forced me to lay down as I was going numb and trembling like crazy. I suppose life would seem useless if there's crap to it. Why then do so many people have so many more problems and yet have such a great outlook on life? I wish I was a better person...
Thought I'd Put up this song...
The Sound Of Silence (3:08)
P. Simon, 1964
Hello darkness, my old friend
I've come to talk with you again
Because a vision softly creeping
Left its seeds while I was sleeping
And the vision that was planted in my brain
Still remains
Within the sound of silence
In restless dreams I walked alone
Narrow streets of cobblestone
'Neath the halo of a street lamp
I turn my collar to the cold and damp
When my eyes were stabbed by the flash of a neon light
That split the night
And touched the sound of silence
And in the naked light I saw
Ten thousand people maybe more
People talking without speaking
People hearing without listening
People writing songs that voices never shared
No one dared
Disturb the sound of silence
"Fools," said I, "you do not know
Silence like a cancer grows
Hear my words that I might teach you
Take my arms that I might reach you"
But my words like silent raindrops fell
And echoed in the wells of silence
And the people bowed and prayed
To the neon god they made
And the sign flashed out its warning
In the words that it was forming
And the sign said "The words of the prophets are written on the subway walls
And tenement halls
And whispered in the sound of silence
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sorry I'm all depressed...sorry I'm more numb then depressed...
In leaving today, I forgot my notes for my huge test tomorrow and for the paper I'm working on...junk face
Really Sad