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• HowlsLuvrGrl327
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• Cia-Chan
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Birthday
• 1988-03-27
Gender
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Female
Location
• Someplace Cold
Member Since
• 2005-02-01
Occupation
• Wedding Singer
Real Name
• Cia is my real name.
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Achievements
• Staying Alive
Anime Fan Since
• Sailer Moon, Card Captor Sakura and Digimon
Favorite Anime
• -_- Isn't just a bit obvious?
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• "I want to change the world." Become a CLT, marraige, babies
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• music, reading, computer, video games, dating, writing, studying biochemistry
Talents
• Hmm... writing and singing
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Wednesday, September 13, 2006
Feeling pissed, just needed to write this up, I don't recommend reading.
Play wonderland online!
Anyone else a freshman starting out music major and pissed off about stuff?????
Okay, so I understand that I have a lot less background than other people. I have no idea what in God's name allowed me to become a music major other than music is my lifeforce and I want it to be my life.
But, yeah, I'm a little discouraged when I have to work my ass off just to catch up with people on ear training and sight singing and theory and the like.
On top of all that, well I'm sorry, but no I do not own my own music anthologies or metronome or have an accompanist on hire. And if I have all the money for that, someone must have fucked me in my sleep or something because that's the likelyness of me having money for all this!!!!!!!
On top of that, I look for all the books and stuff and every store I look at they're out of stock. Well, fuck, it's all going to cost me over 100 dollars anyway, and do you think I have that right now? Because no, I do not.
These past two weeks my diabetes has been a bitch and I'm sorry for my ranting but I'm simply sick of all this shit! I'm sick of the meds, I'm sick of the upkeep, I'm sick of people looking down on me like "how in the hell did she become a music major when she knows diddly-squat." I'm sick and tired of people taking advantage of me or judging me when they don't know me or giving me fucking pity.
Yeah, I have to deal with this shit, so what? I've had to deal with it for over 13 years and your pity is only going to remind me of that rather than help me. Yeah, sometimes I rant about it like this, but most of the time I just deal because pity gets me nowhere.
I almost started fucking cutting myself again just because I'm sick of dealing with shit and feeling like hell's reject half the time.
Don't worry, I'm not cutting, I haven't done anything like that since April and I'm damn well pleased with myself.
But sometimes life is a rollar coaster and this is one of those times.
And don't worry about reporting me to health services, I already go see people.
And well, yeah, I thought writing all this would make me feel better but I'm still all pissed.
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