myOtaku.com: Clair

myO Still <3's You

Vitals

Birthday
• 1989-03-11
Gender
• Female
Location
• North Dakota
Member Since
• 2003-08-06
Occupation
• Student
Real Name
• Erin

Personal

Achievements
• I've received several awards for academics, leadership, and my music.
Anime Fan Since
• Fifth Grade, thanks to Pokemon. ^^
Favorite Anime
• FLCL, Cowboy Bebop, and Gundam.
Goals
• World domination. Or, on a slightly smaller scale: publish my books
Hobbies
• King's Quest, writing, eating Torra, and reading "Wraith Squadron" over and over again...
Talents
• French horn, viola, electric bass, and writing.

myOtaku.com: Clair

Tuesday, October 5, 2004

New Day, Fresh Start
Okay, so today was a little better than yesterday. In fact, it seemed to be going pretty good, until about sixth hour, whe we got the "suicide talk" again. I guess my memories are still too fresh.

Jon's funeral is tomorrow, and I don't think I'll be able to pull myself to go. It breaks my heart to not see him be buried, but I know that if I go, I'll sink deeper into depression. Instead, I'm going to his grave later so I can mourn him alone.

I'm also ticked off at everyone from school who's going to go to the funeral just to get out of school. How much ruder can you get?! I mean, they're using his death as an excuse to miss ONE DAY OF SCHOOL!

I've also begun sinking into my seasonal depresson.. it's October, and it's normal, but still. My mother's taking me to see a counselor, and my loving freinds at school are showing me where to buy a solar lamp. I'm hoping that those, along with medication, can help this winter be better than previous years.

A great escape from reality, however, is sleep. Unfortunately, it's something I haven't been doing much now. In fact, I haven't been sleeping at all during the nights because I know I'm not going to want to ever move again. I know it's bad for me, but I'm feeling messed up right now. You know, it's one of those times that I just plain feel antisocial. I was barely able to pull myself to go to symphony practice, let alone school.

So, from my perspective, LIFE SUCKS.

Unfortunately, I know that it's just my odd S.D.D. that makes me think that, and I know that once counseling and such starts, I'll be back to normal. I hope.

Sadly enough, only two things have made me smile today: an off-topic comment about "King's Quest" from Torra today at lunch, and when I was RPing online, and making others feel angsty.

I'm horrible; I've begun to take pleasure in other people's pain.. this isn't helping me at all. *sad smile*

So! I've been trying to think on the brighter side, but right now, I feel like there's been a solar eclipse.

I don't want tomorrow ever to come. In fact, I wish I could lock myself up in my room forever and ever, where I could be alone.

~Clair, T.I.~

Although, strong emotion always brings out thoughts, which can bring out the best writing... I've written plenty of short stories and poems in memory of Jon. Maybe someday I'll publish them.. I've got enough to make a treasury.
Comments (1)

« Home

Anime | How to Draw Anime | Anime Wallpapers

Top of Page