Wednesday, April 13, 2005

   Graduation blues

Yeah. It's been a while since I last posted. I've not been that busy but rather, I just don't have anything worth posting about. Now I do. Graduation's this coming Friday. Now, don't get me wrong, I'm not graduating high school until next year. So why am I talking about graduation blues? Simple. I've grown really close to Batch '05 that it feels as if I'll be graduating too. *sigh* You see, while I got lots of close friends within my batch, over the years, well... I guess I kinda developed relationships with the older batches ('04 and '05) that well... are really really good. So yes, it's making me sad that they're going away. I'll really miss them. I don't know but I feel as if it's such a big loss for me. They invited me to go to their graduation, and well... I think I may cry more than they would. Tomorrow is the Baccalaureate Mass and I'm going to sing for them. *sigh* It's making me all depressed... although I'm sure that most of them would come back sometime or another, I'd still miss them an awful lot. Well anyway... there's this guy I like. I really like. And.. well, I kinda thought I'd tell him either tomorrow or on friday that I like him. Before he graduates, that is. What do you think? should I? It's not like I'm making the first move or anything, I'm NOT making a move! I'm just well... letting him know. That's all. I'm not doing it to start something, I just really really want him to know. bah. I'm confused right now. Sorry for the incoherency. Oh btw, I got a deviantART account. :) [link] If you wanna check it out there's the link. ^_^ There's not much there, mind you, since I just started last saturday and I got no camera to play with. :p oh well. kay. I'll go bother some people now. *huggles* I love you all! ^_^

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Saturday, March 26, 2005

   pictures, pictures and LOTS MORE PICTURES!! XD

^_^ Thanks to all those who commented yesterday... but I don't think I'll talk to just yet. The reason why this happened was because I did try to talk to him. Now I'm tired of thinking about it so I think I'll just forget about it in the meantime. And so, as promised here are the pictures for prom. I won't post all of them of course, just the ones I had uploaded at photobucket. Hopefully, photobucket won't go into any of it's er.. maintenance thing before you guys get a look at my pictures. XD and i apologize if my page downloaded longer than usual. ^_^; oh well, here they are. I do hope no one gets scared and ends up wiht nightmares. @_@ ______________________________________________________________________________ That's me and Ate Kat. We took that just after the prom finished. :D ahehe.. the picture's too bright I know. ~_~ *shrugs* (In case you don't know, I'm the one on the right. blegh. not a pretty sight. O_O) Mj, Via and me. :D This was while we were waiting for our ride after prom. :D Again, the picture's too bright. :p Goofing off while at prom. Looks a lot similar to the one above, but believe it or not, this was taken during different times. hehe. This was taken while prom was still going on. :D I love this pic. hahah! Shows we really did have a lot of fun! ^_^ Me and MJ. haha! very pinky and purply don't you think? girliiieee. ^o^ haha! Via and me, my bestest bestery best friend! Isn't she pretty? ^__^:D This is at starbucks, while waiting for our fraps. :D it's already 3:00 a.m. A stolen shot, yes it IS a stolen shot. haha! I just happen to be smiling when I turned and looked in the right direction. hahah! Aren't I ugly? Look at those HUGE eyebags. O_O whee! ^.^ Another picture of me and my best friend! Isn't Via pretty? I can't even compare. O_O but I'm proud. She IS my bestest best friend after all. :D *hugs via* tell me she's pre-tty. ^^V And here are our Frappucinos! :D mine's Vanilla, Via's chocolate and my bro's Caramel. :D that's my purse right there. mmm. yum! *sluuuurrrp* then this is me the moment I got back to my house. ( =( sad because Via wasn't allowed to stay over my house.) I figured I'd take advantage of the time and take some more pictures, risking the camera's safety though. xD After several more pictures, I washed up, changed clothes, and undid my hair. and these pictures are the result! xD Whee! After finding my hair got all curly because of how it was made, I thought of taking pictures of it since it might be the last time I get to see my hair like that again. :D So I took pictures! and some more pictures. haha! there are a lot more actually but I think I have only a few uploaded. O_O then here's an edited version of the pics. :D hhaha! I love my curls. I wish I could have my hair like that. maybe I'll do that this summer. :D __________________________________________________________________________________ So those are the uploaded prom pics I have. I hope you enjoyed them. :D oh and... I really do hope it brought no one nightmares. ~_~ I'll be in trouble if it does. ahehe. *grin* so coming up next post will be my recital pics. :D *hugs all* I love you guys. ^_^ ========== [Edit:] I got this from our very own Shizuka. :D It's a bit hard hehe. :D ^_^ have fun!

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Friday, March 25, 2005

That has been my status at YM for a couple of days now. And though it really has little to do with the topic of my post now, I just felt like putting that there. ... Why do people have to be so damn unreasonable at times? Why do people judge me and say things as if they know me when in fact, the only thing they know about me is what I show them? Yes, go on. Deprive me of the only things I'm looking forward to in my life just because I wouldn't do something I don't even like. haha. you're confused aren't you? Would it help if I tell you that this is all about my dad being unreasonable? Damn right he's unreasonable. Selfish AND arrogant. He thinks he knows what's best for me. If he does then he wouldn't press me to do this thing I don't want to do. If he does he wouldn't overreact and threaten to take away the only 2 things I love just so I'll do that thing. He told me he has every right to be selfish since he's given us all we need. Well I say, Think again dad. You didn't give me everything. You weren't there to watch me sing on stage just because you had to keep your so-called "appointment" with your friends. You weren't there during my proud moment of singing "The Phantom of the Opera" during mayor's night. You weren't there during our SiS competitions because of "certain things you "had" to do". You weren't there during my JS prom when you were there for Joan's. You were never there during any of my moments to shine during elementary. You just weren't there during some of the most important moments in my life. I don't think you ever even considered my feelings. Everytime you ask me to sing with your choir, I don't feel as if I'm really appreciated. You don't know me well enough to know that I have my safe-zone. Being with your "friends" isn't in my safe-zone. Singing with strangers isn't my safe-zone. I have tried to show you that and yet you remain to be blind. I feel as if I'm only a "fill-in" for your choir just so you'd have more songs to sing and less to worry about. Don't you see? That's why I love Himig so much. Because when I sing there, I sing with people I like, with my friends, with whom I share a bond with. You of all people should know how that feels. I very well know you consider them as your "barkada". I don't like singing with you gusy because I don't feel welcome. It may seem like a lame excuse to you but it's perfectly reasonable to me. You don't know me. You don't know what it feels. And yet now you choose to take me away from not only Himig but my lessons too. It's unreasonable not because it makes me unhappy now, but because those are the only 2 things which I think are the way I can reach my dreams. So you're willing to break my dreams into pieces just because of this one little thing I refuse to do. Gee, now I don't wonder why I love you so. ... All are lies, don't you think? :)

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Wednesday, March 9, 2005

   photos it is then

haha! and here I was, hoping y'all wouldn't change your mind about the photos. XD But, photos you want, photos you get. :p Not tonight though. ^_^' Sorry! I fell asleep (for the nth time) while on the computer again and just now woke up. (current time: 12:43a.m.) ahehe, I didn't get to do much work so I'll have to finish them all now. Still feel tired. I do wish I'd get enough rest and sleep before the exams. O_O -_-;; Wah. Too tired to think. Take care and night y'all.

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Tuesday, March 8, 2005

   I wonder what's wrong...

Haha! well, it seems no one wants to see my JS Prom '05 pictures. *shrugs* oh well, I guess y'all want to save your screen from such horrific pictures. hahah! In case you didn't get to visit yesterday, I asked if you would like me to post my Prom pictures...and well, no one replied. ^_^; hahah! But anyway, today went ok... It's just... well, a bit weird. Like I've mentioned in my previous posts, I seem to be easily tired nowadays. Like now for example, it's a big effort on my part just to sit here and type this whole thing up. -_- I hope nothing serious is up with me. A friend of mine suggested maybe I turned Anemic. ?_? I hope not. *phew* I still have to study, got a game and long tests tomorrow. *huggles* I love you all!

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Monday, March 7, 2005

   JS Prom '05 Pictures

Would you like them? :) ahehe, sorry... I really WAS supposed to go here first thing the day after prom, but... well, I was really really REALLY tired. you see, I was up 'till 4:00 a.m.! @_@ So... there, I didn't get to go here, then school started, homework began piling up... and... there. wah. I'm sorry.. Another reason is, there's soooo much I've got to tell you - I don't know where to start! It's very troubling really... *sigh* I hope you're not mad? But anyway, only about 3-4 weeks of school and Vacation's here! :D So I might have a bit more time there, that's if we have nothing much planned for vacation. :D woops... I still have to do my homework! See you guys around! :D *huggles* Take care y'all! _________________________________ [EDIT:] Well... I was going about my business just a little while ago when all of a sudden, memories of this dream flooded my mind. It's weird actually why now all of a sudden... hn... ?_? Oh well, anyway, after I had this dream, I immediately wrote in in a form of a story in the computer. aheh... It's quite weird... it's one of the few dreams I remember vividly. well.. anyway, here it is. (I'm not sure.. but I think I posted this way back before? ...or not? ahehe, I'm not sure anymore...but in any case... .:start of dream:. I went inside one of the classrooms in my old school. I looked around, no one’s here. I shrugged and went out the other door across the room. Ahh, there they are! I saw my family on the other side of the field. I started to walk up to them, but as I stepped toward them, the whole place seemed to warp down, and then warped again to something different. Startled by the sudden change, I looked around and found myself in a Theme park… My family called to me. We were going inside a theatre. I was the last of the five of us to enter. And by the looks of it, we won’t be able to seat to together. They found a row with four seats. They sat there and I sat on the row behind them. There were already two boys sitting on this row, I figured its ok to sit with them. I was trying to ask dad what kind of movie we’d be seeing when suddenly, the lights went out, and I heard laser guns shoot. As I tried to duck, I suddenly felt arms around me and something poking my ribs. My eyes widened as I tried to wiggle out of the persons grasp, then I heard him mutter, I closed my eyes, and I felt something warm hit my rib. It was radiating from whatever that was poking me! I felt it surround me, and suddenly, I never felt safer in my entire life. Then, opening my eyes carefully, I saw myself surrounded by what seemed to be a shield. I started to lift my arm to touch the shield, but I suddenly notice the arms still holding me. I felt him hold me tighter still, as if he won’t ever let me go. Then suddenly, the shooting stopped. The lights went on and I saw my family. They were all smiling, as if it were all a game! I felt his arms around me loosen. I then tried to turn around but his grip tightened again. As if he doesn’t want me to see him. He pulled me closer to him and whispered “I’ll always protect you. I won’t ever leave you”. He, whispering THAT to me surprised me so much that for a moment I just stood there, not really knowing what to say or how to react. Suddenly, I felt him tugging at me towards the exit. So I followed. But I still can’t see his face. I looked at him intently as he pulled me outside. It seemed as if my vision were suddenly blurred. Then as I stepped outside, I found myself in my old school again! I shook my head, this is getting weird… I walked on, following him. As I got closer, I suddenly realized that he was no longer holding me. I suddenly felt weird and cold. But I still couldn’t see his face! It was then that I noticed, he was handing me something. While reaching out to accept it, I looked up at him to see who he was, but before I could take a look at him, I was blinded by a bright light .:end of dream:. ... Until now I still don't understand that dream. O_O weird. oh well. have a nice day y'all.

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Tuesday, February 22, 2005

   All I Ask of You

^_^ Hey guys! yeah, I fell asleep the moment I posted. ahehe. So I was online pretty much the whole night through the morning. 8-} So now I'm feeling very... energetic. =D So I decided to do some replying to your comments. ^.^ ____________________________________________________ sailor firestar: *sallutes* yes ma'am! Already did and will do so again. *grin* I've learned my lesson. hehe. aww...thanks! I really really hope so too. ^_^ *huggles back* chie: pat-chan! heeheehee! yesh, I really really do. =D Awww... *hugs tight* but you know you're THE greatest person. :D:D:D and that's true! Right everyone? *grin* *hugs again* thanks! I'm having fun practicing because you know why... hehehe. *BIG grin* (ohhh!! btw, did you know? :D:D Kuya JC's promised a dance with me. =^____________^=) Ingat lagiii!! :D:D sweetshnara16: I'm glad you liked the song. :D *huggles* I missed yooouuu!! Flueky: yeah, it is isn't it? ^_^ I'm glad you think so... ^_^ Aww, thanks. ^^o Take care okiieee? *huggles* masterman: Woah!!! *tackles* you're kidding me right? You're really really REALLY gonna perform it?? for REAL? *is obviously unbelieving* =^0^= wheee!! Wow!! I wanna hear iiiiiit! I wanna I wanna I wannaiwannaiwannaaaaaa!!! gimme gimeeeeeeeeee!!! T_T But I might not...I'm way over here in the phils... Nooooo!!!! Can you like visit us here? *puppydog eyes* pweety pweeaaase? with sugar on toooop? setolover1213:*grin* *nods* yep yep! =^-^= whee! darkeangel: hahahaha! yes, pretty random eh? *stares dreamily* yeah, whoever he is... I really hope so too... I hope just the same for you kuya darke! :D:D Of course I wouldn't want my kuya to be unhappy... waiiiiiiiit!!!! ME? Clair-chan - ALL GROWN UP? *bursts out laughing* hahahahahahahahahaha! wait..is that good, or is that bad? O_O *huggles back* take care big bro! ^^o Wing Moon:Aww, thankies so much! ^_^ Faroe: You have? aww... I'm so sorry to hear that... *huggles* I hope you feel loads better... Number 5: hahaha! amusing is it? :D oh.. gosh. I wouldn't dream of trying that. rawr. hehehe! so no thanks. hahaha! Blue Hawk: hahaha! let's just say I'm having a valentine-syndrome-hang-over. hahahaha! You know, all the mushiness that's been going on last week caught up with me 'till now. hahaha! aLaStOr10515: hmm.. well, I haven't met him yet, or if I have I wouldn't know, it's way too early don't you think? :D _________________________________________ *phew* those were a lot! Thank you all for reading yesterday's post. heh, even though I don't get around to your sites... wahh. Anyway, today went pretty well, had practice for the JSprom, had to sing in front of the two batches, basically had fun. *grin* They recorded me singing "The Phantom of the Opera". heh.apparently ma'am Lomibao wanted to have a remembrance. hehe. Kuya JC promised to save a dance with me. *grin* hehe, I can't wait! ^____^ Kuya Marlo's my partner at the entrance and yes, he's also my date for the prom. ^_^ I really hope we al have a good time. ^^o which leads me to my question.. Have you had your JS prom already? If so, how was it? Was it fun? Is it considered as one of the most memorable night? Do you have any advice for those who're going to have the prom? (e.g. do NOT wear high heels. or remember to bring a pepper spray in case someone decided to get close - too close to you.) I'm looking forward to your answers *huggles* I really have missed you all, see, I'm just taking my time getting back to my routine here again. heh. XD

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Monday, February 21, 2005

   Tired

-_- Lately I've been always feeling tired. Today was spent for pratice for the JS Prom. it's this coming friday. I'm growing excited and quite anxious too. I just hope I do well singing the doxology. @_@ I just love the song, don't you? The moment I heard the song, I knew it's the one song I want to sing on my wedding day. :D haha! yes, my wedding day. hahahaha! It doesn't matter if my husband-to-be doesn't know how to sing very well, all I need to know is that he's sincere in singing that, I'm ready to fall a thousand times for him. wooh! *stares dreamily* Though I do hope whoever he is does know how to sing well. ahehe. ~_~ I'm sooo tired. I think I'll turn in and maybe come back later.

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Saturday, February 19, 2005

Do you understand me?

this is something I wrote sometime last week. I was feeling... very down. Something I'd rather not talk about. I guess not. To be honest, I don't think anyone has ever understood me before. Of course there are that so closely do, but not quite. *shrug* I can act you know. Everything's different. Nothing's how it used to be. I know I should've expected this, but it's just that I miss it so. They all think they know me... do they? How about you? Do you? How sure are you that what I'm telling you is the truth? How sure are you that when you see me smiling, it's a genuine smile? How sure are you that I'm ok when I tell you so? I've always wanted someone to talk to, and until now, that's what I'm missing. Sure, there are a lot of people I can talk to, confide even, but I want someone who'll always be there. You know? I know that's something I can't have, but still. It doesn't stop me from wanting it. I want someone who I can talk to anytime, who'll stop what they're doing because they know I need them. One who'll actually talk back and give me the comfort and understanding I need. Yes, I'm a selfish person aren't I? But let's face it, even the most unselfish person has thoughts like these. I admit, I'm a very dependent person, I'm sorry but that's how I was brought up. Maybe that's why I really love meeting people. I'm hoping to find someone who can understand me or at the very least someone who's WILLING to understand me, and accept me for my imperfections. I don't want someone who'll tattle on every little wrongs I've done, or give me scoldings and sermons when I make a mistake. I don't want any of that. Who does? I want to be heard. Without being interrupted or being misinterpreted. I WANT TO BE UNDERSTOOD. Hmm... you might ask "what's there to understand?" *shrug* You'll know when you understand. Maybe that's why I like singing and acting. Because I can express myself and I can, for some time, pretend to be someone I'm not, someone who's better. Maybe that's why I like being on stage, because I want to BE HEARD. I guess that's too much to ask for. Here in my very own home no one cares to understand me, what more outside? It's all I can do to make the most of everyday and be happy. Yeah, that's why I'm happy. Happy. Truly happy. Ironically, I can be truthfully untrue. 2/14/2005 12:10 a.m.

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   The Phantom of the Opera

Finally, I got to watch The Phantom of the Opera at the movies today. Ever since I heard the song, I've been curious about the play. and yes, even more so when I got to perform the songs for the Mayor's Night. hmm... in all honesty, it wasn't as great as I expected. *shrug* maybe because of the music. I rather think the original movie is still better than this one, even though I haven't watched the original movie yet. heh. I hope no one is offended by this. ^_^' Although there is one part there where it truly touched me. The scene where Eric, the Phantom, was watching his musical box thing. I don't know why but it just struck me. It was really... I don't know, touching. *phew* That's pretty much it. My friend, Christine and I had our picture taken. Getting more and more excited for the Junior-Senior Prom on friday feb 25th. :D kuya Marlo's taking me as his date. I get +100 points on Social studies.. XD whoopee. ^___^ hmm... going to watch a play tomorrow for Filipino... trouble is I don't know how to go to the place. ^_^' I hope I don't get lost. wah. oh well, night everyone! *huggles*

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