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Birthday
• 1989-06-20
Gender
• Female
Location
• Philippines
Member Since
• 2004-06-08
Occupation
• BA English Language - Language Major
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• ericka

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Achievements
• NaMCYA 2005 Grandfinalist, Q.C. Science High School Scholar, National Scholar
Anime Fan Since
• I dunno... when my brother became an anime fan, I suppose. :D
Favorite Anime
• Ruruoni Kenshin, Gundam Wing, Full Metal Alchemist, Kyou Kara Maou, Midori no Hibi, Ghost Sweepers, You're Under Arrest, Daa! Daa! Daa!, Naruto, Bleach, Dragon Ball Z, Gakuen Alice, Gatekeepers, Vandread, Tsubasa Chronicles, El Hazard, FMA, Kyou Kara Maou
Goals
• to be a successful Public Relations Officer in any field, to be a Diplomat/Ambassador, highly acclaimed classical singer
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• singing, playing instruments, watching anime, writing non-, fan- and fiction. Reading fan-, fiction.
Talents
• classical singing




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myOtaku.com: Clair Chanteur


Thursday, June 16, 2005

Posted : June 14, 2005 at LiveJournal.com
Yesterday, we had a Nera-Ibuna-and-whatever-the-last-names-of-those-other-people-are family reunion. It took the whole day, so it was dark on our way back.

Classical music was the opted background music for the night.

I sat in the car, head leaning towards the window, watching the passing cars, shining under the street lights, and reading what I could on the bill board signs. But no sign was to be remembered, for something was being contemplated so deeply, that I saw all those things as blurs.

I was so deep in thought that I didn't hear the first time my brother called me.

After finally being completely pulled back to reality, I had already come to a conclusion to my thoughts.

Spending my time worrying about whatever happened in the past is a silly and a stupid thing to do. Not to mention, a waste of time. (I mean, why worry when I could be doing something productive instead?) Besides, chances of us meeting again are one in a million. So I concluded and said it was official. Endless days of wondering is over. Hopefully, so will the dreams.

It has only been less than a day when all this happened, but I started to feel good.

Doing what I did, I thought I'd be forgetting about it maybe a week after it happened. But in never ocurred to me that it would haunt me even months after it happened. How can a cd and a letter disturb me that much? And so I tried to bury the feeling of worry and - I can't think of another way to put it - distress under a pile of other emotions. Happiness, sadness and anger. Added another pile on it, and those are memories, thoughts, opinions - everything. But no matter what I did, how deep I buried it, I could still feel a tinge of the worry and distress, and somehow, though I do not understand why on earth I'd be feeling this way - guilt.

Officially announcing it[the conclusion] to myself, in a way, made me feel free from those I've been feeling. A few hours after saying it already made an effect on me. I felt good. I can finally get myself back in focus.

But things have a way of turning against me.

No sooner had I thought the one-in-a-million chance will never come- and make no mistake, I didn't want it to come - it did.

It came, surprising me in a way that would be hard to forget. It came at me right at my face, as if saying I'll NEVER forget. I'll NEVER get over it. He came, sitting there innocently, looking as he had before.

It took me only a moment to realize whose face I was looking at and I turned and retreated away like a coward. In my defense, I'd say I'm just a 'shy' girl and I wouldn't be able to take it if I faced him right then and there, but I do admit. I did what a coward would do.

I went away and sat on the farthest side from him, acting like nothing - noone of importance was there. I pretended I did not see him and I plainly refused to look in their way. I refused to even acknowledge his father.

As I sat there, across from my friend, Christine, my head bent down towards my notebook where I was rewriting my notes, a thousand, if not a million, thoughts raced through my mind. But one thought stood out quite clearly. Taking risks is the only way you'll get by... Always GO for it! If you don't, you'll be miserable all your like asking 'what if's'. But as always, I went against the principles I've been making myself adapt to.

And now, I'm yet again plagued by the distress I suffered. the worse of it being that it actually doubled. My only consolation now is that it might be a long time before we see each other, or I(if he actually failed to notice my presence) see him again. Another one-in-a-million chance.

Funny though... just when I was least expecting to see him, I did see him. 8-}


Things, good or bad, really do happen when you least expect it.

###

Didn't understand it?

Don't worry, neither did I. xD

Aren't I dramatic? :p Heh. I was just really confused at that time, and when I'm confused, I tend to get dramatic and er...emotional. xD


Soooo. Anyway, school's already started for us Filipinos here, while most of you out there has just ended... right? :) Geez, while the sun's shining there, it's raining cats and dogs here.

Anyway, school's been alright so far. Though, I've lots of complaints I think you'd rather not hear about. :p

My birthday's coming up. xD Wonder what we'll do? :p Some people are already hinting that they're expecting me to well, as we call it here, "Blow out". Which is kind of a party, but I get to bring all the food there. xD Or in most cases, I take them out to a restaurant, or anywhere actually, to eat or if I'm really THAT rich, to a theme park. All the expenses go to me. heh. >_< Only problem is, I got no money! T_T

... Oh well, I'll think about it when the time comes. xD

How have you all been? :D How's summer so far? :p
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