Tuesday, December 20, 2005

   I was bad...
Today there was a transit strike, and so I got a ride to school. Anyway, when I got there with Jizzy, only 30 kids out of 500 kids in my school, showed up. Sad isn't it? Well, moving on, I didn't feel like going to class, I mean there was like NO ONE there. So instead I cut most of my classes. Am I ashamed? NO! Why bother going to class when there are only 4 people there anyway? Sides I needed some down time, and I was tired. I usually don't cut, but I make exceptions for days like this. Ah, whatever. I am a rebel, and I am proud! WHOOT! So have a nice day, and all that jazz...
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Monday, December 19, 2005

   Alone...
I am so tired, I felt mad depressed today. Anthony doesn't like me. Oh well, I'll get over it. I shouldn't dwell on the past anyway. But I feel so lonely, and I feel as if I'm always gonna feel this way. I'm always saying there is someone for everyone, but there will never be a person for me...Why is it that some call me their savoir? I don't save anyone, I just don't want anyone to be sad. Besides I'm not a savior, can't even save myself. Where is my savior? When will I be saved?! WHAT IS THE POINT OF ANYTHING ANYMORE?!! I can't stand it. I will always be alone. I'm either too weird, too emotional, too random, or stupid for someone. No one can just love me for who I am, except for Patrick and he's all the way in damn South Carolina! I will never get the chance to have someone who truly loves me or accepts me for me. I can't change who I am people, so why can't anyone just take me as I am!? I'm sick of being stereotyped because I'm different, why is such a big deal!? Other people are silly and odd and random, but I am ALWAYS the one who gets singled out for it! Why me?! What makes me so damn special!? I am so sick of it damnit! Why can't people just...like me? Why do I have to be the one who is alone in the end, when all I try to do is help others? WHAT'S THE POINT, WHAT'S THE DAMN POINT?! I NEED ANSWERS! WHY AM I SO DIFFERENT, WHY CAN'T SOMEONE LOVE ME?!! WHY CAN'T I JUST BE HAPPY?!! WHY AM I DENIED HAPPINESS?! WHY IS IT THAT WHENEVER I HAVE ONE GOOD THING IN MY LIFE IT ALWAYS GOES AWAY!? I HAVE ONE HAPPY MOMENT IN MY LIFE, AND THEN EVRYTHING, EVERYONE, JUST BRINGS ME BACK DOWN! IS IT BECAUSE THEY ENJOY SEEING ME SUFFER!? IS THAT IT?! I CAN'T BE HAPPY! IT'S LIKE A FUCKING RULE ETCHED INTO MY FOREHEAD SAYING, "HAPPINESS FREE"! It's so pointless...It's so damn hopeless. I...give up. You here that people I GIVE UP! YOU HAPPY NOW?! LOOK AT YOUR WORK, ARE YOU PROUD?! ARE PROUD ABOUT HOW YOU'VE HUMILIATED ME, HOW YOU'VE BETRAYED ME, HOW YOU'VE TAKEN AWAY EVERYTHING I LOVE!? ARE YOU?! ...In the end, I've lost this battle. This darkness, this endless oblivion that surrounds, is the only way I will ever stop the pain. I guess, the world was never meant for someone like me. I'm just another outcast, and I will never belong in this place...
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Sunday, December 18, 2005

   YAY!!!
TODAY'S THE DAY, TODAYS THE DAY!!!! YAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAY!! I get to see Anthony, Jizzy, and Canti today! It's gonna be so much fun! I am so excited! They're gonna pick me up at 11:45. It's gonna be great. I can't wait. No seriously I can't wait. It's 10:15 and I'm jumping up and down in my seat, literally! To pass the time I am watching TNT which is playing the Wizard of Oz! The best part in that movie is the flying monkies. "FLY MY PRETTIES, FLY! HAHAHAHAHAHAHA!" lol. Anyway may you all have a great day, like me! YAY!!
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Friday, December 16, 2005

   It's over!
No more inhouse suspension!!! YAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAY!!! Anyway, I am so happy. I can't wait till Sunday! I'm gonna have so much fun!! It's gonna be so great! ^_^ Everything is going great. I have no regrets, and things are finally going my way!
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Thursday, December 15, 2005

   Fucking Transit Strike
For those of you who do not live in New York City, you have no idea how lucky you are. All of the transit workers might go on strike. And by transit workers I mean the buses, and trains! I won't have any means of transportation to school if that happens! Gah, this is horrible! If they go on strike, how the hell am I supposed to make up Lab and how the hell am I supposed to finish my inhouse suspension?! I want this over with already! I swear if the transit workers go on strike, I am going to be uber pissed!
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Monday, December 12, 2005

   Home
I am back home. Jeez, I am so tired. Bleh. Anywho, today was, well, interesting, annoying, and odd. I'm too tired to go into details but that's okay because I like pie. Though I have no idea what the hell this has to do with pie. Ah, whatever. Jingle, jingle, jingle...
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   I am in School....
I am in school right now! I am supposed to be looking up quotes for an Oedipus project, but I'll do it at home. ^_^ My school rocks my socks! I think that this is probably one of the ONLY places where I can actually find peace. As you folk can see I HATE my home. Whenever I can get away from it, I can find peace. My parents are so stupid. I never understand them. They think they know everything cause they are older. WRONG! I can't tell them a lot of things BECAUSE they could NEVER even imagine some of the shit I've been through. In school I am able to hang out with my friends and have a good time, even though I get piled up with work. >.> Anyway, I just wanna say thank you to all of my friends and online friends. Thanx for being supportive and making my life bearable at home. I also wanna thank Frank Sinatra High School for the Performing Arts, for being the best school in the WORLD! I love it here, and I am so happy I am able to be here. ^_^ Have a nice day, may the jingley jingle bells and seals be with you!
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Sunday, December 11, 2005

   Jingle jingle jingle
I am angered with my mother and father. For those who do not want to here my pissed off rants, don't read this blog.

My Rant:
I HATE YOU MOM!!! DIE YOU COCK SUCKING, CRAZED FUCK UP, INSANE ASYLM RUNAWAY PATIENT!!!!! DAD I HATE YOU!!! YOU OVER PROTECTIVE, WANNA BE TEENAGER LOSER!!! STAY OUT OF MY LIFE!!! I HATE YOU BOTH!! HATE HATE HATE!!! *destroys wall* *crushes stress ball*
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Friday, December 9, 2005

   Good Mood
I'm in a good mood. I didn't fail my classes, finished my homework, and can hang out with my friends tomorrow! YAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAY!!! Ah, sweet freedom. Anyway way have a nice night thingy thing, yo!
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Thursday, December 8, 2005

   Oi vey....
Gah, everything is happening so fast. It's making my head hurt, just like math...I have so much work, and I am mad tired. I have a lot of christmas shopping to do as well. Ah, whatever. I'll work on shopping this weekend even though I DESPISE shopping with a great passion. Agh, girly stupidity is taking over the world! RUN FOR YOUR LIVES, RUUUN!!!
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