Wednesday, December 7, 2005

I'm Scared
I'm scared that I will be forgotten. I have been having these weird dreams lately (and I don't mean to quote Kingdom Hearts) that I am going to die. I've been wondering if I did die, would anyone care? Would anyone really even be heartbroken if I died, or would I just be forgotten? I am scared that if I did die then I would be forgotten. I don't know. I am just being ridiculous and stupid. You people probably don't care about my problems, right? I'm sorry. I just overthink things and then I start acting all retarded and shit. Just nevermind. Leave comments if you want.
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Tuesday, December 6, 2005

   Writing
Here is something that I wrote. Please tell me what you think:

Dreams. It's something that everyone has, something that everyone secretly wants. I once had a dream. I wanted an adventure of a lifetime and I got what I wanted. Now I wish I never had a thought like that in my mind. So many things have happened during these past months, or has it been years? I lost rack of time a long time ago, but time doesn't seem to matter anymore. You are probably asking yourself, "What is she talking about?"
I'd be thinking the same thing if I saw myself speaking in such a manner, but then again I'm the one speaking. An adventure of a lifetime, but it had turned out to be a test for my sanity. My name is Ria Witching, I am on a quest to save a world that never wanted me, as I fight the darkness inside of me, and cling to the last bits of my humanity. Will you listen to the story of a lonely warrior? For even if you aren't listening it still goes on because this may be the last chance I have to tell it...
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Monday, December 5, 2005

   Anthony...
Christmas is coming up, and I still haven't bought any gifts. I miss Anthony. *sigh* Love stinks, it always ends up hurting you. I am such a fool when it comes to love. When I am in love, my feelings are always clouding reality. There is a possibility Anthony doesn't feel the same way anymore, and I have to except that. It's just not fair. When it comes to love, I always get shit. Anthony was the only thing stable in my life, and I gave that up for a school that tortured me for 3 years. And now Anthony has come back, and I'm afraid that I won't be able to reach him with my heart anymore. I'm scared that I'm just gonna get hurt again. But I just care about him so much, that I wouldn't care. Damn my feelings! Damn them all to hell! Always toying with me as if I were a puppet on strings. I just started crying today in gym class. My heart it hurts so much, and yet I always give myself hope that there is hope, that there's a chance Anthony and I can be together. But then I realize that is not reality. It is just false dreams I give myself, that it is all just an imaginary fairytale land I make up for myself. If only, I had just stayed a little longer, if only I could have been by his side when he was going through all that pain, maybe I could have helped him. Damn it, it's not fair! I hate the fact that this pain, this reality, always ruins EVERYTHING for me! I don't want to be alone, and I'm scared that if Anthony denies my feelings that I will be alone. I CAN'T handle that. I can't handle my heart being broken again...
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Sunday, December 4, 2005

   FUCKING MATH!!
Argh! FUCKING MATH!! Ms. Malvey why? Just WHY?! You're a great teacher, but goddamnit, WHY?! Stupid math project I don't get it! I can't even get help from my dad cause he is off teaching at Kaplan! So now I must wait, impaitently, for him to come home and help me. And I will say it once again, WHY, MS. MALVEY, WHY???!
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Work
I didn't do ANY homework, so now I'm stuck doing all of it today. Ugh, too much work. Here is a dialog for you all:

Random Chick: Why didn't you do your homework, Heather? You should be working on it now.

Me: It's not my fault. The video games made me into their mind slave, and I had to get Yugi to use his medalion and to save me.

Random Chick: Why do I have a bad feeling there's more?

Me: Because there is...Then I had to take my Gundam out to save the colonies, while calling Sailor Moon and telling her that she needs a new catch phrase.

Random Chick: O_o Wait here I have a phone call to make. *dials Phone* yeah Creedmore? This is the random Chick. No mom hasen't started ranting about how turkey is gonna take over the world, again. You have any straight jackets open? I have a new patient for you. Heather Lee Marvin. Wait, she's a REGULAR THERE?! Got addicted to wearing straight jackets? Try to jump out the window to fly? She actually succeeded? What do you MEAN graceful?! Whatever. *hangs up* Fucking crack heads....

Me: STRAIGHT JACKETS ARE FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUN!!! WHEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!! I'M TOO SEXY FOR MY SHIRT, TO SEXY FOR MY SHIRT, TO SEXY FOR MY SHIRT, OH YES I AM!! *starts dirty dancing*

Random Chick: O_O *faints from amount of stupidity hammering at her brain*

And so ends the amazing adventures of Heather and the Randome Chick. BTW for those of you who do not live in New York, Creedmore is an insane asylm. Sayonara.
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Friday, December 2, 2005

   Love
Why is it that love just keeps biting me in the ass? I just get so tired of it sometimes. Maybe I should just try to be paitent. I know it's the best thing I could do right now. Argh, ANTHONY WHY DON'T YOU GET YOUR MEMORIES TOGETHER! Hmph! I miss him so much, but...I just don't understand. As much as I think I do, I'm still just a teenager. Oh, what should I do? If anyone has any advice please, give it. *sigh*
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Thursday, December 1, 2005

   Too much work
Ugh, I am so tired. I am piled with work and it's driving me crazy! TGIF tomorrow. School is getting aggravating, and I might get to see Anthony! ^_^. I hope he is doing okay. I worry too much. Damn maternal instict, it's tiring me out. Still I gotta stay happy and be supportive for everyone. I'd feel bad if they got sad on my behalf. I just don't know what to do anymore. I need to see Anthony. I miss him so much...
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Tuesday, November 29, 2005

   Friends and School
My friends rock so hard! I wuv them all! *huggles all friends and online friends* YOU PEOPLE ARE SO COOOOL!!! I also have been watching too much of The Grim Adventures of Billy and Mandy, so I have to say this. EXPLODING PENGUINS 3: TOTAL ANIALATION!!! I don't know if I spelt that right, but hope I did...lol anyway, ah, school is cool, except I have mountains of WORK!! It's HORRIBLE!! I THINK I CAN SUFFOCATE UNDERNEATH ALL THE PAPERS!! *suffocates under papers* Air...air *gasp* *bleeds* *dies* Oh great, now how am I supposed to hand in my HW? Anyone have a Phoenix Down?
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Monday, November 28, 2005

Tests
Tests....I THINK I HATE YOU SO! It's really supposed to be "I think I love you so!" but I don't love tests because they are...EVIL!!! lol. Gah, I failed two of my midterms! It sucks like bad, really really bad. I got a 53 on my Living Environment, well that's cause I didn't get it. But I got a 63 in English...A FRICKING 63!!! That is like not good! Especially since it's my best subject! Argh, damnit Ms. Schisler! She is my evil English teacher. SHe can NOT teach I swear! The thing that screwed me over on the test was the Greek Theatre part. She made us learn it by ourselves, we had absolutely no help from her! And half the shit we did find wasn't even on the damn test! We are just really starting on Greek Theatre today! What kind of idiot runs a class that way? She is such a MORON! Ugh, *throws Ms. Schisler out a window* she is so annoying to. I have her second period, and she is too damn peppy in the morning! It's like dude, STFU!!! She goes over to me one morning, and I am in a really crappy mood, and she goes, in a sickeningly sweet, valley girl tone voice, "Aw, who's not a happy camper?!"
I was thinking, God, you are just waiting for me to jump off a cliff, or throw her off one!
And then in my head he screamed, YOU FINALLY CAUGHT ON HEATHER!!
Ah whateva, just better do, well, better in school so my mom does not chop me into Heather bits. No, not Kibbles n' Bits, HEATHER BITS! And I don't think I taste good *bites self* nope, I don't. or maybe it's because I'm not a cannibal *ponders this*
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Sunday, November 27, 2005

   Better mood
I'm in a better mood, after playing video games and watching TV. Ah, sweet gaming, how I love you so... Anyway I'm glad I'm making so many friends and such. I like pie, and monkies, and chicken! WHEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!! I love Cloud and Aeris togetha! WHEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!! Wow this whole blog is really random. COOL!! Whoever is reading this I just want you to know I am not insane, ignore the straightjacket, and the crazed smile, and I am just as normal as anyone else. NORMAL! *gets strange looks from people* What? I don't have a problem, I SWEAR!! *twitches* Anyway, um, yeah I think done. I'm not sure if I'm done, but I think I am. Fuck, you know what i'm gonna stop writing now....
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