Friday, January 20, 2006

   Bleh...
I hate projects, they suck majorly...*yawns* I have so much homework to do. It's driving me nuts! Fortuanately, I have all of next week off. YAY! Relaxation here I come! I laugh at all of you who don't have off! HAHAHAHA! Well actually that's kinda mean, so I take it back...
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Wednesday, January 18, 2006

   TIRED!
I don't wanna go to school tomorrow...*yawn* So tired, and lonely. God, I suck. I have no life, this is pathetic. *tear* Ah, whatever...Love sucks anyway. *shoots Cupid* Stupid fucking cherub...Anyway, I found the song I'm gonna sing for this performance called Cabere at my school. I'm gonna do Bali Hai from South Pacific. I hope it'll turn out okay. I've been practicing like crazy. Now all I need to do is really just set a mood, and get the music. I was thinking of making it a bit mysterious or maybe seductive. I just know that either would be good. What do you all think? Seductive or mysterious? Send me a comment with your shoice, if it's not too much trouble. Thanks ^_^. Sayonara
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Monday, January 16, 2006

   I'm so happy
I'm so happy. I'm gonna see a friend that I haven't seen in a few years. I'm gonna meet her at Alba's Pizzaria. It's so awesome, and I can't wait to see her. We have so much catching up to do, and stuff. Well yeah, now I'm gonna go eat chocolate! WHEEEEEEEEE!
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Sunday, January 15, 2006

   My profile
I just finished editing my profile, making it really, really long! Yay really long stuff! WHEEEE!! Yes I am happy today because well I am. I've decided to show my optimistic side more often on my site instead giving you all headaches with my whining. Sides, being happy is better than complaining and being sad all the time, right? I think so anyway. My life isn't so bad, I think, and it's better to look at my life like a full glass, NOT a half-empty one. ^_^ I think if I can do that maybe I can help make others happier too. I rather have people happy around me, than be sad for whatever the reason is. I hope that one day everyone could just have one day of peace. Whether it's when they're small, teenagers, adults, or even if they're about to die, I hope that everyone can be truly happy at least once, even if it's only for a short moment. Ah, I'm getting too sappy! Making this sound like some sort of cheesy soap opera *wacks self*. Sorry I got carried away, I just get like that sometimes, and well, yeah. ^_^ Well, I guess I'm done. Wait am I done? I think I'm done. You know what I gotta stop rambling. lol. Untill next blog. Sayonara!
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   Online pals...
This post goes out to all my online pals (all who have muy sexy sites!). I would like to say thank you for helping me with my site, leaving me comments, PMing me, and just for being muy, muy awesome overall! Even though it's only online, I still feel happy that I was able to become friends with all of you. And I know I probably sound weird saying this (I mean writing this), but if you ever need someone to help you vent or if you just wanna talk, I'm always available. ^_^ Once again, thank you for your support and advice and help, I hope I can return the favor. ^_^ Sayonara.
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Saturday, January 14, 2006

   Roleplaying
I love roleplaying! It makes my life so enjoyable, YAY! Most of the time when I'm roleplaying I make up my own stories and don't roleplay off anime and stuff. I just love to write. It helps me express myself. I'm even writing a couple of books of my own! ^_^ For those of you who like to write please leave a comment for anything that inspires you, or when you're inspired! I'm inspired at night, and the things that inspire me are touching movies, or something beautiful and amazing around me.
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Thursday, January 12, 2006

   I hate people!
I hate people! Okay, except for my friends and online buds. Other than that PEOPLE SUCK! I should throw them out the window. Jesus, the world is so fucked now. Damn the world! Blah, blah, blah, I'm gonna eat junk food and drown out my sorrows with TV.
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Wednesday, January 11, 2006

   Rain
Rain makes me so sleepy. -.- *yawns* Anyway, today was a good day. I'm feeling less sick and my friends have really been cheering me up. I wuv them so. Now I am going to sleep. Bleh.
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Sunday, January 8, 2006

   I feel...
I think I feel a little better now. My friends hae been supportive and stuff even though I must be depressing them. I feel so horrible to make my friends sad because of me. I had fun yesterday, except that jerk Anthony (my friend's cousin) was there. It's amazing how much you can adore someone so much, and then in the end, end up thinking what a perverted, fucked up complete loser he is! And still...kinda like him for his arrogance. ARGH, DAMN HIM, DAMN HIM, DAMN HIM!!! I HATE HIM!! THAT JERK, BAKA, STUPID LECHER, GROPING, MANIPULATIVE BASTARD!!! AH, DAMN HIIIIM! Why am I attracted to jerks all the time!? *sigh* Anyway, I spoke to Patrick, and he made me feel so much better. He's so nice and sweet to me. ^_^ But he told me that we were more than friends to him. He told me loved me, and I just met him over the summer, and I feel the same! Agh, confusion hurts my head! But he lives in South Carolina...WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!! I FALL FOR THIS AWESOME GUY AND HE FALLS FOR ME AND WE CAN'T EVEN DATE!! FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCK! IT'S NOT FAIR! *punches random dude* *kills* AND on top of that the guy I like here is a total fucking ASS! God, why meeeeeeeeeeeeeee? *broods*
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Friday, January 6, 2006

   Depressed...
I am muy depressed today. Everything has gotten just so...so bad lately, and I can't take it. It's gotten to the point where I have been writing a lot of crazy things again about my sadness. This is what I wrote, it should explain how I feel pretty clearly:

In the darkness of my oblivion, I float in the endless nothing. Silence is absolute, but does it heal my sorrow, or create a deeper wound? Why is it that there is no light in my world, my emptiness? Where is my light? In this dead place, in the depths of my heart, I have forgotten what happiness is. My lonliness, my fortress of solitude, my emotions die here. I am haunted by the never-ending nightmare of my pas, that is my depression. Is this my punishment for some crime? But what have I done? What did I do to deserve this pain? What have I done?! Am I like Oedipus? Am I to end up like him? Am I destined to walk in this ongoing oblivion? Then give me eternal sleep. Let me rest my head and leave behind this evil world filled with death and lust. Why stay in this land of destruction? I am alone. I am nothing but another person, no, another invisible face in this crowded city. I am tired, emotionally and physically and I can't take it anymore! I want to be free, I want this nightmare to end, I want sleep eternal! Can no one grant me this one request?! Why was I sent here? Was I born to live in this disgusting world filled with hatred and sorrow? What is the point of my exsistence?! Is there even a point to begin with?! I try my best to help others, but why do I strive for others? Why don't I strive for myself? I can't...remember. I'm losign my grip on reality. Is this what people call insanity? Is this my escape, or is it because i would let myself be completely consumed by darkness? No, it's because I am so desperate to escape this pitiful world that I would do anything to get out of here by any means, even if it meant taking my own life. My past, my darkness has finally consumed my broken heart, and now I think its time I end my suffering once and for all...
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