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AIM
• sweetpeaspice
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Birthday
• 1991-06-15
Gender
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Female
Location
• New York City! Gotta love it!
Member Since
• 2005-11-13
Occupation
• Frank Sinatra High School student yo!
Real Name
• Heather
Personal
Achievements
• I have been in plays.
Anime Fan Since
• I've been an anime fan since childhood. To be exact, I saw my first anime at THREE!!
Favorite Anime
• It's hard to say what my favorite animes are. I think my two favorite animes would be Outlaw Star and Tenchi Muyo! I also like Fruits Basket, Ranma 1/2, Magic Knight Rayearth, Bleach, Faeries Landing, Kodocha, and the list just gets longer and longer...
Goals
• To be a broadway actress, visit Japan, and to be more even more optomistic than usual!
Hobbies
• Singing, writing, acting, playing video games to the point of insanity, watching anime, and reading/collecting large amounts of manga.
Talents
• I can sing and act! I can draw some anime, but I'm not that good. And apparantly I have the ability to become the school guiudence counsler/parent figure to all in a matter of days! Ah teenage angst, how it stalks me so...
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myOtaku.com: coolcatdreamer
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Friday, January 6, 2006
Depressed...
I am muy depressed today. Everything has gotten just so...so bad lately, and I can't take it. It's gotten to the point where I have been writing a lot of crazy things again about my sadness. This is what I wrote, it should explain how I feel pretty clearly:
In the darkness of my oblivion, I float in the endless nothing. Silence is absolute, but does it heal my sorrow, or create a deeper wound? Why is it that there is no light in my world, my emptiness? Where is my light? In this dead place, in the depths of my heart, I have forgotten what happiness is. My lonliness, my fortress of solitude, my emotions die here. I am haunted by the never-ending nightmare of my pas, that is my depression. Is this my punishment for some crime? But what have I done? What did I do to deserve this pain? What have I done?! Am I like Oedipus? Am I to end up like him? Am I destined to walk in this ongoing oblivion? Then give me eternal sleep. Let me rest my head and leave behind this evil world filled with death and lust. Why stay in this land of destruction? I am alone. I am nothing but another person, no, another invisible face in this crowded city. I am tired, emotionally and physically and I can't take it anymore! I want to be free, I want this nightmare to end, I want sleep eternal! Can no one grant me this one request?! Why was I sent here? Was I born to live in this disgusting world filled with hatred and sorrow? What is the point of my exsistence?! Is there even a point to begin with?! I try my best to help others, but why do I strive for others? Why don't I strive for myself? I can't...remember. I'm losign my grip on reality. Is this what people call insanity? Is this my escape, or is it because i would let myself be completely consumed by darkness? No, it's because I am so desperate to escape this pitiful world that I would do anything to get out of here by any means, even if it meant taking my own life. My past, my darkness has finally consumed my broken heart, and now I think its time I end my suffering once and for all...
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