Sunday, December 6, 2009

Shitty
I had got the stomach flu last week. Ugh. Horrible I've never had it before and hopefully won't ever get in again.

Lately I've been feeling down, I don't know why. I feel like shit and lonely. Maybe I need a friend, a guy in my life, drugs, toys, shit I don't know. I've been so bored and tired, and I don't want to annoy with my whiney emo-ness so I'll shut it now. I'm starting to lack empathy anyhow :/
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Wednesday, November 18, 2009

X Shadowme X made me do it
I kind of answered these half-way in my posts, but I'm bored so I'm going to fully answer these questions or else Belinda will kill me. XD

1. Things that turn me off:

Hmm, let's see: incompentent men, chauvnists, homophobes, racists, obnoxiousness, arrogance, lack of empathy, complete self indulgence, so-insecure-about-anything-and-everything-they're-insane-guys. That's only half of it. I'm a little big ball of hate, huh?

2. My weird habits:

My hands twitch a lot and I tend to play with my fingers, bite them, twiddle, whatever. I itch my head a lot, and I have weird monolouges in my head and whenever I think of something funny, it shows on my face, so people are staring at me wondering why I'm smiling and if I'm insane. Oh yeah, I also talk to myself sometimes. =P

3.Who I am:

I AM WHO I AM - God

No, really, it's hard to say..

4. What my flaws are and how I embrace them:

Sometimes too cold and self-driven. Other times too sensitive and a bleeding-heart that cares too much. Too honest and opinionated. Pretty passive-aggressive too. How I embrace them? I wish I didn't.

5.Things that piss me off:

See #1

6. Things that scare the shit out of me freak me out

Spiders, creepy old men, crowds, heights, the down fall of humanity as a whole, not just our morality

7. Are you crazy obsessed and if not do you know anyone who is crazy obsessed?

Maybe. I'm crazy obsessed with Gaara but that's because I'm a loser. But I've met others that are way worse than me, so I'm OK =) XD

8. What's your worst F.M.L. (Fuck My Life) moment?

Today, when I attempted (for the 60th time) to contact a long distance friend, the only friend that I've ever felt alive and free to talk about anything with, and failed. Her phone number doesn't work and I hung up on her cell phone twice because I was embarrassed and self-conscious that it wasn't her number but someone else's. We haven't talked in months and I'm inclined to think it's my fault.

9.Do you like commercials? And if you don't, do you just skim through them?

Depends. Most are just lame. Some are clever. Others are like, "I could've done better than that!" or "What kind of message are they trying to send me? That screwing vegetables is a stable way of life instead of eating meat? How crazy!"
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Monday, November 16, 2009

BRAAAAW
So I'm really super bored right now. I think failed an Algebra quiz and exams are next week. So I'm going to start my next art project to keep me busy (really, distract myself from school work you didn't read that)

So I wanna draw these guys



I've gotten hooked on the show. One of the few paranormal shows that I'm not skeptical of (besides Ghost Hunters). They can be a bit dramatic and not the most scientific, but totally takes ghost hunting to a new level.



The one in the middle is Zak. He is very extroverted, bold and can be a bit cocky, but that's just 'cause he's not afraid to tell off some ghosts, especially evil ones. The one on the left is Nick, calm and cool-headed with confidence (I just noticed they all began with C's. Forgive me). And Aaron is on the right, a big teddy bear who looks so funny when he's scared lol. He's like Shaggy in a way. Yay Scooby-Doo references!

I had just watched their recent lock-down in the abandoned buildings on Poveglia island, close to Venice, Italy. Man that was messed up, the island was inhabited (or rather exiled; that's the better term) by plague victims that died by either the disease or being burned. Most of the island is made up of human ash mixed with soil. That's how creepy it was. Now I'm probably braver than some, but I wouldn't go anywhere near that place. Maybe the mainland, but you'll never convince me to get into one of the buildings lol.

Anyway, yep, I want to either draw with colored pencils or paint with acrylics (both mediums I don't have much experience in. Which ever I fail less at). So yup. Otherwise, nothing much.

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Sunday, November 1, 2009

Happy belated Halloween!
Whoo!

So much this weekend. In a nutshell: This friday, I had dressed up as Sasuke for the school, since I didn't get to go to the anime con last summer. lol it was actually fun, I'm not a dress-up kind of person, but it was fun. I got a lot of stares lmao. Only about 8 people recognized me and 3 gasped and hugged me XD. Not many anime fans in my area so..

Then the whole night I watched 7 hours of Ghost Adventures Live at the Trans-Allgheney Lunatic Asylum. I'm a huge fan of things like that lol. The last 3 hours of it was intense! Hope they re-air it sometime again. Then yesterday I went trick-or-treating with my little brothers lol and then went to a party with friends. It was all good this weekend, bt now I have a test tomorrow T_T crap.
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Saturday, October 3, 2009

Holy crap! I'm not acutally going crazy this year! And a Monster rant.
I'm finding out that my junior year might not turn out to be so bad. Boring as hell and, with trimesters, stressful. But eh.. I made some new friends, lost some, made stronger connections with old friends yada yada. Dealing with people is tough. Then again, what do you expect from a young misanthrope?

So Algebra 2 this year really isn't sucking too much, even if I still have to go to "meth" lab. wewt. Math lab, so fun. I surprising aced a quiz this week. Holy igrjfdnmahfuir9. I can't count backwards with my 2 hand or toes and I aced it.

So a few weeks ago, I got to wear a dress at my aunt's wedding. I. Hate. Dresses. Ever since I was five. I'm not a true hard-core tomboy, but dresses make me want to roll in the mud.

So it was a nice brown color dress XD. But the wedding was really fun and I'm proud for my aunt. There were cupcakes instead of the traditional wedding cake.

So let's see here, fastforwarding now, hm well, nothing else. Had another pep assembly at school yesterday (we suck) and I fell asleep for five minutes. Listening to nice melodic death metal to drown out the noise. Got home, and am re-reading Death Note 'cause it's that good. Haven't read it in 2 years now and I'm starting to remember what happened. I'm all like, "oh yeaah, that's what happened, uh-huh I remember Light killing that one dude now". I have a new love though, called Monster. I read the manga and it's airing on Sci-Fi (sorry I mean SYYYYEE-FYEEEE. -___-;;;;) Oct. 12. I'm so excited!!

Yeah, I got no life XP. Oh well, Light Yagami totally has got nothing on Johan Liebert. Johan is 10x scarier than Light I-Am-Gay-spells-Yagami-backwards. Especially if Johan got a hold of a Death Note. Ryuk would have a blast watching.

Here's all about it

It's acutally a pretty in-depth anime. Not one of those pseudo-intellectual trying-too-hard-to-seem-deep animes like the ones that keep coming out. Most is just empty philisophical jargon. Death Note are one of the few ones that actually are intricately laid-out and acutally makes you think. Spooky huh? Well, I love it to death (pardon the pun. No, seriously, I did not mean it to come out that way) but Monster IMO is far better. Scary, actually. I was on my edge with this one (and it wasn't because of my 6th cup of coffee.) Not going too much into it if you haven't read it (I don't wanna spoil!) but it definately digs into the darker recesses of the human mind, defying morals and questions our own. How fragile life seems to be. Or is it worth it? Not everyone is equal, are they? This manga/anime definitley messes with your head and has twists that actually strengthen the plot and not make it less worthwhile like how some animes seem to do. So that's my short, ambiguous review (rant actually) about Monster. Left out a lot so you can get to reading to find out. NOW *RAWR*

lol j/k :D

pooo. I want to go to the Otep concert that's coming in the next few weeks (Five Finger Death Punch is actually headlining, but bah them.) Man that girl can growl and do it frighteningly. I get chills from the atmosphere in their songs, sounds like a murderous Halloween night. But more artistic and headbanging. Still creepy. Which I like. Idk, I'm weird 'kay? XP

Oh, I actually forgot, something DID happen this week. I painted a picture of fruit. Yes, I call it "A Bunch of Fruit and Shit Like That". No, seriously, I'm going to name it that. Terse and obvious. Isn't it an eloquent name? Painted an apple, grapes, and a banana on my desk with acrylics. Not finished but when I do I might show it here on this site (too shy to submit it on TheO). Don't know what compelled me except complete boredom and a lack of painting skills (luckily I'm taking painting class next trimester). I really needed to draw something before I forget how to, that's how long I haven't done any art. Man I'm losing it. Anyway, I'm also trying to build my portfolio for college. Y'know, still life, 'cause they love shit like that.

And our power briefly went out this morning. Don't know why, it wasn't raining. We learned it was because of a downed power-line and half the township was out. The country is a lovely place, where the electricity goes out a lot. Hey, maybe they're telling us to go outside or something. I keep finding coyote tracks out in our woods. In fact, a few weeks ago I was walking around the wooded area, not too far from the house, and I swore I heard a low growl from my right side. I had nothing but my "Moses stick" (a large stick I found and use when I go for a walk/hike) with me. LOL I bolted out of the woods XD I'm such a wimp. My mom when I was little went out for a jog and actually had to fight off a scraggly coyote. Yes, she fought it off, even though she can't tell dogs from coyotes (she grew up in the city and now she lives in "Jurassic Park"). And I just run. I'm so lame XD.

So yep, that's what happened. Yeah, this year's not so bad I guess.
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Thursday, September 10, 2009

School's in
'Kay. So first two classes I have are boring. All math stuff, bleh. I'm really gonna have to get my ass in gear this year, if I want to graduate and go to college. Not that I'm doing bad... but I'm going to have to take more responsibility now that it's getting harder and soon I'll become an adult. As much as I love to procastinate and am still able to get an A even if I wrote an AP essay within 2 hours before school without previous planning, I guess it might be a little better to start putting effort more.. college isn't just a free for all anymore. If you want to survive and have a job with an income just enough to get by, then college is pretty much the answer. It's a one way street; can't just work at a fast-food restaraunt to work your way up and still afford a living anymore....

heheh, it's kind of a lose-lose situation. You have choices, but they won't suffice; you can choose to not do work and finish school, but good luck living off of TV dinners the rest of your life, 'cause coal miners get no break. $10,000 annual just won't cut it. Or go to college and get a job that pays high but you'll most likely not be satisfied with a job or get a job you want after graduation because most jobs that actually make money are boring like the markets or the government. 'Cause artistry and musicianship just won't cut it. Damn it how I wish it was the 80's. Freakin' economy.

*sigh* so I'm planning to go into forensics or some sort of criminology so I can supplement my income so I can support my art. Reason is that the art world is tough to get into. You don't get much pay especially a freelancer. Only if you have a name. If you got a name, you're something. But if you don't, your art don't mean shit. As much as I love to help people and help solve crime to make a better place, it just doesn't cut it for me. I've been in a long line of family that's done work in law enforcement, government, or military. I've kinda wanted to break away from that mould, I was always the different person in the family. All I do is draw pretty pictures, but it doesn't cut it does it? I'm going to work my way in the art world then, do something I actually love rather than most people and do what society wants, what economists want, what you represent white-collar business Americans. Because art is just a pretty thing to look at. No need to look at the philisophical meanings underlining that fuel the creativity of the human mind. It's one thing that separates us from the rest of the animals. The purest form of communication. The only thing that connects people to each other. Even conflicting groups can agree with a beautiful piece. Appreciate it.

And we lost that. Does everyone take everything for granted now?

I'll prove them wrong. Maybe I'll even work for Disney or something. Wonder if they'll still be proud of me. I should stop wondering what everyone else thinks and think for myself. I'm a selfish stubborn person, and individualist that knows what she wants and is determined to get it.
At least there's a few people who're willing to support me and back me up. I give my thanks to those people. I really do.

Now that I'm done with that short summary of a rant, I'll explain the rest of my classes.

Well, my chemistry teacher looks like Michael J. Fox lol.

and I have spanish and another social study class. Fun.

But I'm really going to have to be serious now. No bullshit, college is in a few years and I need the money.

How attitude can change in such a few years. Must be growing up. Haha, yer lil' corn here growing up.
And I'd thought it'd never end.
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Tuesday, September 1, 2009

Meh.
Just really tired today. So I found my old Gameboy and Pokemon Yellow Version lol. Man, the old games can get you hooked, lol. I named my Pokemon stupid names. I have a Charizard named FlavorFlav. XD Yes, that is his name.

I'm listening to a folk metal band. Lmfao. It's not bad actually. Earthnen. They've got nice singers, melodic and symphonic, a combination of male and female, yin and yang. Very atmosphereic. HAIL TEH WILDERNESS!

@noirassasin: Lol yeah we are pretty close. So close we call eachother names. His pet name is "asshole" lmao. I want to visit Andalucia too!

Oh, and i don't have a camera to take a picture of my jacket v.v but I was able to find a picture on eBay.



it's value is now $50.

@Night shade2: Yes, a licking war can be unpleasant lol. And yuo're welcome for the advice ^^

@X Shadowme X: It is the vagina's turn now. The penis has been joked about for too long. lol yeah... teenagers these days. If they can't think with their brains then how can they use their genitals correctly? >.> sounds awkward XD maybe I should correct that. How can they think at all? ^^;;;;
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Tuesday, August 18, 2009

Best week(s) ever.
Other than the fact that some "friends" of mine were using me and now ignoring me, I've been great. I've got to see a friend from a long time ago. It's awkward, since we've hardly talk over past months. Oh well, at least he's more of a real friend. Anyway, we just talked what's been goin' on and stuff, I usually have nothing to say (which is kindof ironic how I tend to blab on this site. I'm actually pretty quiet) and we had a poking and licking war. Yes... we attempted to lick each other... we're weird like that. And we had some ice cream and pizza... Hmm... and he does his impersonations.... he's a real character. If you met him he would freak you out. He's good like that lol. We've been friends since first grade... he was pretty much my only friend in first grade...

Last few weeks were hectic. Family from Connecticut were over, got to see my baby cousin... he's sooo adorable. ^^ we were watching Karate Kid and we taught him how to say "BONZAI!" XD he's sooo adorable! I said that twice now. But it's true.

Then we stayed at home instead of travelling some place else, as we usually do, and went to Coast Guard Festival. It was really fun, and normally I don't go to carnivals. Bunch of "wangsters" and cabbage-smelling carnies.... lmfao. Even if the rides are put up in one day and are a bit dangerous, I still go on them. Only one of them was fun, the ride flings you in the air while simultaneously gyrating the capsules where you sit in. It was amazing.. can't really explain it other than that your stomach would coil up and you almost felt like pissing yourself, but, lucky you, you didn't. And all my guy friends were too scared to go on any other rides LOL only me and my girlfriends went. =P oh and there was this creepy drunk lady that kept on talking to us while we were waiting in line. LOL we'd try to talk about something then she would butt in saying something like "sooo did you all get in dis here og man *high pitched laugh*" ... and she constantly kept talking to my friend. She had boils on her face O.< it was weird. We were praying that she wouldn't puke on us during the ride she was so drunk XD reeked of Bud. Then again, most people after 9 reeked of beer.

We had rented a condo that was really nice. Except the fact that I woke up and seen a house centipede on the wall. I was freaked out LOL it was huge. At first I was like OH SHIT IT'S GONNA EAT ME! I never slept in the same couch, lol. I got to go to the local bookstore and got Stephen King's The Stand and a travel book about Spain, since our class is going there next year ^^ I can't wait. If I like it, I'm moving there. Screw Canada. lol j/k I love you Canada and your doughnuts.

Anyway, I stuffed myself with carny food. It's damn nasty, but it's sooo good at the same time. And there was this guy that had noticed my Gaara jacket too (I own a rare $40 Gaara jacket that I had got from Hot Topic 2 years ago. It's kick-ass). Rarely there's no one here that knows any anime; and if there is, they're usually crazy super-fangirls that want to grope Gaara's image that was conveniently placed over my chest (damn clothes designers) or try to kill me and steal it. But luckily, I haven't ran into that in awhile. Still, I had a quick talk with a 20-ish looking dude about anime bootlegs and stuff. Pretty nice knowing that at least someone around here knows it.

During the first few days of staying, there was hardly anyone I knew around town. I did see my friend that had actually almost been kidnapped before she had met up with me. I was freaked out, some guy a few minutes before she found me tried to grab her and say "C'mon, you wanna meet my daughter?" X___X poor girl, she's always has creepy men after her. Well, luckily, she got away and met up with me. We just talked about stuff and she had brought up that she 'might' be pregnant. Oy. Kids, don't have sex when you are physically, financially, and emotionally immature. I know more than 3 people that are pregnant now, and I'm all gonna be their godmothers.




Needless to say, it's been pretty event-filled.


And on a random note, since I live in the country and there's nothing to do, people like to draw penises on the stop sign. And the road intersecting had a huge white-spray painted phallus doing suggestive things. Hmm. Well, it was funny at first but then.... really? People must've been pretty bored. Well, it was amusing, and I'm going to let whom ever is reading stew over this.
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Sunday, August 2, 2009

This sucks
Really, I'm kind of tired of TheO. No one ever really comments, especially here except for 4 people. I know I haven't made an effort either. I just don't feel connected to this place anymore. I don't know. I'm just kind of getting bored I guess. But I miss a lot of you guys. MyO was awesome, but now I just don't care. It doesn't matter. What I'm having trouble with is some people I know in real life as well. I'm just being whiney right now maybe. Or maybe I'm tired. Yes..

I'm just truly tired, and life just goes fast, people use you, and all this shit gets in the way. I want to move on but can't let go. I don't even know what the hell I'm talking about. But I'm not in a bad mood. Not at all. In fact, I had a fantastic week. I'm just too tired and unfocused to write about it now. But I miss people that I once used to know, people I met a long time ago in real life. But I'm afraid to contact some of them now. Afraid they forgot me. Or mistake my absence as rudeness or avoidance, not fear of rejection. Would they take me back even after such a long hiatus? Or do I just serve as a good/bad memory now? I've never feigned loyalty, but have others? No wonder I'm such a recluse, bastards misundertand me all the time. Or am I misunderstanding them? Maybe. I hate opening myself up. Leave a gaping hole for everyone to just stick their finger in. But no matter what happens I stay strong. I'm no cutter, no abuser, no attention whore, no killer (yet), but I'm not going to be nothing either. I just need enough sustinence for fuel. Sympathy is overrated. I'll survive, and find someone that is for real. I'm sorry if none of this makes sense, but I need to rant it out. I can't hold things in forever, and this site is such a good scapegoat.

And I won't let this duality of feelings override my experience and how much fun I had. I had such a good week. I don't want to break that streak.
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Thursday, June 18, 2009

Anyone home?
Shoot, it’s been, what, 2 weeks? Feels like dog years really. Well, it’s officially summer! Yay! It’s been freezing on and off over here! Yay for Michigan weather! Oh boy! I wish I lived somewhere warmer…

I got a full summer so far. Last 2 weeks I got to party with some friends ^^ don’t worry, drugs not included

Naruto and Kakashi: *hanging from the chandelier foaming at the mouth wearing loincloths* *Light runs around with Death Note and coke residue all over him*

… I have no idea anymore -.- ….

Anyways, next week I hope I can go to an anime con. It’d be my first so I have no idea what it’s going to be like. At first I didn’t want to cosplay, just to get a feel of what it was going to be like for the first time. Plus, I’m not really a costume happy person. But my friend and I made a bet that if I won I wouldn’t have to cosplay as I planned. If I lost, I’d have to go as Sasuke.

…. I lost. >.< it was an arm wrestling bet. Lol I guess I’m pretty weak. Oh well, I guess it’d be interesting, if I go that is, it depends what my parents say since I still don’t have my license yet..

Speaking of cars, we’re gonna get a new one =D it’s a Jeep and she’s pretty ^^ I’m probably not gonna drive it for a while though. I don’t want to crash it XD, luckily I haven’t had any accidents so I’m OK… so far… *reminisces about last time*

Naruto: WE’RE GONNA DIEEEE! WE’RE GONNA DIEEEEE! NOOOOOOO!

Me: SHUT UP! WE’RE NOT EVEN OUT OF THE GARAGE YET!

Kakashi: for some reason this feels like déjà vu… *car transforms into a Decepicon* maybe that’s why

Me: WTF?! Since when the hell was this Transformers?!

Naruto: Shia LeBeouf?! SHIA SAVE ME!

Me: OMG NARUTO! IT’S JUST THE DRIVEW—MOTHER--*Decepicon throws itself and lands in minefield*

Me: I don’t remember this here…

L: SHIT! I spilled my cake =’(

Me: What the—HOW DID YOU GET IN HERE?!

Light: Oh, that’s easy

Misa: OMG LIIIIGHT LIKE I CAN’T LIVE WITHOUT YOU!

Gaara: Can Blondie shut it before I kill someone?

L: Now Gaara, what did we say about those bad urges? Take a deep breath and try to counteract those feelings

Gaara: *deep breath* Alright. No more killing. I’m the Kazekage now. Peace. Oh right, he’s my new therapist now

Me: HOW THE HELL DID YOU PEOPLE GET IN HERE? ONCE MORE, WHERE DID YOU COME FROM?!

Edward: Hi

Me:….. OK I’m not even going to…

Kakashi: Oh, watch the C4s’!!

Everyone: CRAAAAAAAAAAP *BOOM*

……………. At least that’s how I saw it went. And Edward get out *kicks* you’re not even in the family! Goddang Twilight suckers.

…. I’m sorry, but jeeze! What kind of vampire sparkles?!? Sparkles??

I was going to make a rant about that book, but it looks like many others beat me to it. Oh well. My mom is in love with it >.< but I got the books for Christmas so I shouldn’t really complain, it’d be rude. But I did read them to try to get an understanding of why it’s so addicting. I guess I don’t have an addictive personality so… well, I’ll give Stephanie Meyer some credit, she is making a lot of mullah from it. Whether she’s successful on writing is debatable, but selling is definitely a yes. Now I just need to write a book about angst-ridden teenage harlequin Anne Rice-vampire romance and make me some money! More porn!!!

Oh, another fun thing was that during the weekend I rented an anime movie titled Grave of the Fireflies. It’s so amazing, deep and depressing. I know that sounds generic, but I’m not good at describing the feeling of things. It’s about 2 orphans and how they live their lives during WWII. That’s all about the summary since I’m not good at those either, lol. Watch it when you have a chance, it’s good.

Anyways, I’m bored right now, and I really haven’t read any anime in a while since I’d finished Monster. So anyone got any recommendations?! Send some my way if you can think of any!

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