Sunday, November 14, 2010

Hmm
I don't know if I'm falling out of love with this place, or I'm losing in touch with the world in general. I often feel that I have no one to go to, to talk to, but I feel fine. It's a weird paradox; like if everyone on this world were to drop dead this second and I was the only one left, I'd feel like I could survive; but at the same time the loneliness would kill. I'm not even sad; I have a lot of things to be sad about right now too. I'm such a weirdo like that :/

One thing I don't want to let go of is this place(MyO). The people here are amazing, I don't care if I never met you face to face, I have comfort in knowing that there's a human element here; because everyone else seems so artificial elsewhere.

I'm gonna live in the rugged Alaskan woods and be a total hermit, like that guy Emerson probably. I'd like that. But technology has taken over the world. I'll adapt I guess..

I don't know what else to say really. Hm.
It's fucking cold. There, weather is always a good topic XD

This summer I'm gonna roadtrip alone. Mainly east coast area. Got any recommendations/places to visit?
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Friday, October 29, 2010

Hey there
Sorry I've been gone, been really busy with life and stuff. Just updating to say hi, I'm not dead lol and I'm not going to be here for a long while. There's stuff in my life that are more important, and right now I need to focus.

So with that, I'm gonna miss y'all, and Happy Halloween :)
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Thursday, October 14, 2010

Quick update and a concert
I'm not gonna be here for a week, just want to take time off from the compooper and technology n' stuffs, focus on school and stuff like that. I'm also gonna go to a concert tommorrow. Megadeth... this his how they sound (a newer song):



... it's gonna be sweet...

I'll tell ya all the bruises I'll get next week hahaha.

For the time being enjoy these pictures:








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Friday, October 8, 2010

Chillin with Cash and Chopin
I don't care for country or classical music much, but nothing beats Johnny Cash and Frédéric François Chopin. I'm strangely happy today, despite all the shit I had to go through this week. I'm just not the one to let it get to me as much I guess... I don't like dwelling on problems, I like solutions. Yet everyone else seems to thrust theirs on me, which is fine, I don't mind that at all, but I worry for them; it's going to be hard for them when the next time they have no one to depend on that they'll have to make it out themselves. Or maybe I just have horrible interpersonal relationship skills.

Oh well.

IT'S FRIDAY! ES VIERNES! ES IST FREITAG! それは金曜日です! I'M RUNNING OUT OF LANGUAGES TO SAY "IT'S FRIDAY", SO I'LL USE GOOGLE TRANSLATOR FOR ICELANDIC. WHY? 'CAUSE IT LOOKS COOL! það er föstudagur! FRIDAY! YAY!

Y'know, cellos sound so freakin' sweet.







I actually wanted to play cello when I did band in 4th grade, but I couldn't because of size difference, and I'm a pretty small gal. I guess size does matter =/... so they had me do violin. I don't remember shit about the instrument, and I didn't even want to play it (it cost an arm and leg to just rent it). Nothing against violin players, they're amazing, I just wasn't. I ended up switching to choir instead since it was free and we didn't have to practice. Hell, we didn't even sing, my friend and I had talked the whole time, we even made up words XD ah 4th grade... I miss those days...

Now I don't play any school choir/band/orchestra instrument. I wish they had a guitar class. Well, this year they do now, but it's introductory guitar. An' I don't need no schoolin' fer that. *shreds in teh c hungarian minor 'cuz it's melancholic, evil-sounding and awesome like that* I really need a recorder to show off mah skillz. lol they're not really that great actually... I'd say I'm pretty much in the intermediate-average range...

ENOUGH MUSIC RANT. NOW WE SHOW CUTE ANIME BOY PICTURE.



AND SOMETHING FOR THA GUYS TOO



(finally something not borderline pornographic/cat ears/pedo)

THAT'S ALL FOLKS.
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Tuesday, October 5, 2010

Curiousity and stuffs...
I've been very curious about things lately. I wonder what would happen to matter if it reached absolute zero... I know it's theoretically impossible, but still, what would happen...?

That random tangent I went off on about crime and guns yesterday had something to do with what happened. Someone I thought was trustworthy (well, not the most trustworthy) or okay completely surprised me with something they did. My gut feelings have always been right about people; no wonder I can be such a misanthrope. This disgusting person committed the lowest of the low, it took me by complete surprise that this person did this. He wasn't a great guy, he certainly didn't get straight A's, but I don't judge. It's so strange how seemingly normal people are the ultimate deceivers. I don't want to explain exactly what happened, but it was awful, and it completely destroys my faith in human beings. Just when I felt a glimmer of hope for society... they just fuck things up and go too far. I don't feel so comfortable around men, even if most of my friends are guys, it's only because they aren't like the rest of them that just fuck things up for no reason, for selfishness. Don't mean to sound anti-male here, but geez, what did we ever do to them to get treated like shit for the last 2000 years?

It was the few times that I ever felt like I needed a gun; 'course where I live it is completely legal, even cheap, to get one. But I have a sword, so I guess it is not needed. Few days ago I stayed up late brandishing it.

I wrote lyrics late last night, but it's too fresh and personal to post them on here. I'm really shooken up. I can't believe that I live in a place where everyone looks normal, they all act normal, but are just hollow beings only wearing masks. I don't even live in a dangerous area; it's the country. I guess every small town has it's secrets.. we're no different. It's a nice place, don't get me wrong, but I feel so cramped and detained. I feel so isolated and inexperienced in the outside world, I want out of this place; but it's the only place I know.

On a less dramatic and pessimistic view, I recently started borrowing an anime from a friend called Excel Saga. It's very interesting to say the least... completely random. I don't think it even has a plot. But God, it's hilarious. I'd recommend it when you're having a stressful day.

It's also getting colder. I can tell since I'm needing more blankets... soon I'll need a heater. I live in my basement, great in the summers, awful during winter. I measure the temperature in my room during a winter once; it was almost the same as it was outside (36)! About 6 degrees higher though.. normally it's only around 60. My body was not build for cold weather...
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Sunday, October 3, 2010

I need a gun
Fucking rapists everywhere in my town. It's sad that I know these people personally. Thank god for familywatchdog.com.

Anyways.

Nothing important really, just got done with hw, screwed around with my guitar, and what not. I've really gotten into Hetalia, and I want to ask to have it, but I'm hesitant... I usually don't ask for things and when I do I work hard and do chores and stuff to feel like I deserve it. I also have been wanting the Monster manga for a while too... well, want a few things lol.

I'm going to wait for Xmas, but usually I don't ask for things during that time of year; I don't think the holiday should be about materialism and gifts, rather it should be about familial closeness and giving to those who have less... I guess our culture has kind of lost sight of that though...

I asked for a gun once. Didn't get a good response. =/ everyone in this town has guns.. even though we live in the safest area in our state...

Well, hopefully I'll be able to get the Hetalia DVDs and Monster manga this year. If not, oh well.. when I get a job I'll probably be able to afford it.

It's really sunny, unusually warm too... well 50 degrees, but that's pretty much what's considered the norm here. I swear when I'm done with college, I'm moving out of state and going to live somewhere warm... Texas maybe. Who knows.




hahahahaha Russia is so awesome. I really want it now, the English voices are great.
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Thursday, September 23, 2010

Hey thar
Been doing good, got my hw (homework) finished during school. I'm looking up random things about cannibalism, kinda want to write a song...

Other then that, not doing much, just trollin on Omegle and all that. Fun stuff. My friends and I have contests on who can make their partners disconnect the fastest. My friend won, since his disconnected right after he replied, "What, fatass?" XD. I'll make crack comments like digesting fetuses of jackals and of course Chris Hansen ASCII art. Hansen is my hero. Ironically SolenmSerpent just posted something about him.



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………………………………...| . . . . . . .„- ' . . . .*^„ . . . . . . . . . . '|*^*' I'm Chris Hansen with Dateline NBC..
…………………………………*-„ . . . . . \„-„„_„„-^^-* . . . . . . . . . . .'| ........Why don't you have a seat over there
……………………………………\ . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . '|
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it'll never get old.

Other then that, my friend forced me to get an
Facebook. Don't like it, but if it's the only way to get "connected" to friends... I only have very close friends on my page thing.


PS: I made my first ever GIF. I was screwing around in GIMP and decided I'd learn something new. It's of Jared Leto. It moves too fast though, lol oh well, tell me what you think ^.^



To answer Angel Zakuro, no I did not make this Chris Hansen thing, I found it, haha.
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Wednesday, September 15, 2010

I don't wanna do my homework.
I appreciate the advice given to me about my art. I think all artists go through an "art depression" at times, hahaha. I don't know, my confidence in myself sways every little while, sometimes I have to tell myself to relax, heh. I'm just at a point that I just can't satisfy what direction I want to go. I'll just have to work harder. Thanks all. Especially Belinda, you should be a teacher, haha. I've written some ideas and short story things down. I prefer short stories, novels will take me forever and then I lose track or get a writing block for 4 years or something, haha. The short story ideas are mainly for manga-style comics (tankobons, I think they're called.) I want to get started on...

So, pretty much a good day. I have a feeling these whole three months are gonna be good, hahaha. I'm generally a positive person when it comes to my own life. Other people on the other hand... lmao. People just piss me off. Hahaha, it's actually funny to me. Oh well.

Today is just awesome. Nothing really happened, nothing special, no particular reason why. I just feel grateful.

I should be doing my homework. I always get so off task, my attention span is that of a 2 year old when it comes to school. I try to focus and do my work instead of draw all over my shit, hahaha, my folders are almost covered. I made a goal to do better this year than last... I got easy classes so it's all good. I should be doing homework though. Gotta do a psychological analysis of Lindsay Lohan and see what the fuck is wrong with that chick XD making a diagnosis on her. I love my AP Psych class, I aced the test and the teacher is funny.
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Saturday, September 11, 2010

gejdriowsfjdsaik MYO
I'm taking a web design class, and I really want to change the colors on this site.


mofos neglecting the best site in the world.


Haha, school so far has been great. I was worried that I'd get a crazy teacher or the classes would be hard, but they're all surprisingly easy. I might not always be on here to comment so sorry if I don't.

I'm in a good mood, but am sad about my art. I was never a competitive person, don't like it, but it's a little frustrating when you work 2 hours or more on a piece and then you see others that are like boomamazingbitch in 20 minutes. Sigh, practice does make perfect, but I really wonder if I'll be but a speck in the art world. I don't try to strive for best, since there's always someone that's better, I strive for the mediocre, moderacy, I don't care to be the best I just want to do what I do. I'm just afraid that my work will amount to nothing.

I also have a few stories that've been floating around in my head for... geez, 3 years? But I'm scared to put the words down on paper.

Another thing I hate is perfectionism. Nothing is perfect, it is logically impossible to have perfection anyway, even physics wouldn't allow it. But I want these stories to be just right, not some regurgitation of unoriginal plots (see James Cameron's Avatar), I don't want to screw it up the first time. I feel disappointed in my writing abilities. I've written about 4 poem type things and I've reworked and reworked them... nothing seems right. I feel foolish about expressing myself.

Belina, you're a great writer, got any tips on how to do this?

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Thursday, September 2, 2010

I'll stay strong :)
Hey there, I know your lives are probably busy with school, work and extracurricular activities so don't feel guilty if you don't reply back. It doesn't matter really. First off I'm gonna thanks for comments made. Yes, I'm still in high school and I can't wait to graduate. Not that I have any bad feelings about high school, it was pleasant for me, other than some people I thought were "friends" really weren't, it was an OK experience. Not something I'd care to look back on though. I never cared about the fitting in part or anything like that, I was an outcast since I was in 1st grade, but it was pretty much by choice since the whole idea of being popular and crap isn't what school is about. In fact, the whole population of people here annoy me, some don't even realize how they're just wasting their life away. But let them. I know that I'll be just fine, loner or not. I'm pretty proud of myself, I haven't ended up in jail or date raped like so many teens who don't have a choice or make all the wrong ones. I just hope that college is just better... again, not that I had a bad experience with school, just want something with more substance and, I don't know, actually do something that gives me worth and helps me prepare for the next step, work, salary slave, 9 to 5, 401k, retirement home, die. Not in that order. lol. In all seriousness, I actually want to do something....

I've been trying to edit some stuff around here, but it won't let me edit my intro and embed cool music so my site isn't a boring loser, but nooooo MyO is breakin' down and I can't edit shit around here.

I'm just ranting. Anyways, hey Raisha, glad you could come around. You know so much about Rain Bi O.O I'm impressed. In fact, I just watched Ninja Assassin today. It doesn't have the strongest plot, but if you love ninjas, fighting, blood and guts, and government conspiracy, then this movie is the perfect fit for y'all. It's so AWESOME! It's all like NINJA POWWW BAM BOOOM PSHWWW PSHWWW SWORD FIGHT BLOOD SPLATTER YERAAAAAAGH NINJA REVENGE RAWR!!!!!!!1

....I'm telling you it's that awesome. And Rain has some yummy abs :3


Hope that cheered some of your guys up. Things with family hasn't been well with my aunt and all, but things with real friends (y'all know who you are) sounds even more awful. I've notice that there's been some suffering here on MyO (real friends irl too, but nothing as bad like I've seen here). I really hope that those who are in pain to feel better. I can't give any words of comfort, that was never my strong suit, but y'know what, I've been told that I'm patient, and a good thing I know about myself is that I'm a good listener. So if anyone has anything they need to spill their guts on, PM me, comment me, whatever that you want. I wish I could give my cell # out, but I don't think that'd go very well with my family since posting personal info and stuff..... yeah.... Good reasons, but anyways, I'm open for venting, I can keep things confidential too. I understand that trust can be an issue too, but c'mon, who am I gonna tell, Ted Nugent and the Bear in the Big Blue House? ...... weeeeellllll. XD OK maybe Ted Nugent. And Jesus. Who are pretty much the same people.



amirite? For the sake of randomness




KOALA BEAR!!!!!

gross lazy things, eat their own poop and sleep for 22 hours in a day. They didn't hear that, right?



holy shit ):




Have a wonderful day, hopefully this cheered you guys up a bit!
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