Tuesday, October 5, 2010

Curiousity and stuffs...
I've been very curious about things lately. I wonder what would happen to matter if it reached absolute zero... I know it's theoretically impossible, but still, what would happen...?

That random tangent I went off on about crime and guns yesterday had something to do with what happened. Someone I thought was trustworthy (well, not the most trustworthy) or okay completely surprised me with something they did. My gut feelings have always been right about people; no wonder I can be such a misanthrope. This disgusting person committed the lowest of the low, it took me by complete surprise that this person did this. He wasn't a great guy, he certainly didn't get straight A's, but I don't judge. It's so strange how seemingly normal people are the ultimate deceivers. I don't want to explain exactly what happened, but it was awful, and it completely destroys my faith in human beings. Just when I felt a glimmer of hope for society... they just fuck things up and go too far. I don't feel so comfortable around men, even if most of my friends are guys, it's only because they aren't like the rest of them that just fuck things up for no reason, for selfishness. Don't mean to sound anti-male here, but geez, what did we ever do to them to get treated like shit for the last 2000 years?

It was the few times that I ever felt like I needed a gun; 'course where I live it is completely legal, even cheap, to get one. But I have a sword, so I guess it is not needed. Few days ago I stayed up late brandishing it.

I wrote lyrics late last night, but it's too fresh and personal to post them on here. I'm really shooken up. I can't believe that I live in a place where everyone looks normal, they all act normal, but are just hollow beings only wearing masks. I don't even live in a dangerous area; it's the country. I guess every small town has it's secrets.. we're no different. It's a nice place, don't get me wrong, but I feel so cramped and detained. I feel so isolated and inexperienced in the outside world, I want out of this place; but it's the only place I know.

On a less dramatic and pessimistic view, I recently started borrowing an anime from a friend called Excel Saga. It's very interesting to say the least... completely random. I don't think it even has a plot. But God, it's hilarious. I'd recommend it when you're having a stressful day.

It's also getting colder. I can tell since I'm needing more blankets... soon I'll need a heater. I live in my basement, great in the summers, awful during winter. I measure the temperature in my room during a winter once; it was almost the same as it was outside (36)! About 6 degrees higher though.. normally it's only around 60. My body was not build for cold weather...
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