Tuesday, December 16, 2008

   ...I'm sorry...
These past couple days have been hell.. My mind is racing at a million mph, and I'm probably hurting my boyfriend every time I open my mouth. I don't know how many more nights I can take like this.. I haven't slept since Saturday.. And, I don't even know why.. I can't even register half of the thoughts that are running through my head.. It's killing me.. And, I know it's killing my boyfriend, too.. I'm the reason why he got down last night.. I'm just causing so many problems, and I don't know how to help it.. [I want to make time stop], but I can't.. {I want to make everything slow down..}, but I just can't.. I feel useless. I'm only hurting people.. I'm hurting the one that means the most to me.. I'm killing him with every word I say.. I'm worrying him like I never have before. I'm hurting like I haven't in months. I feel like I'm dying, and my heart hurts, my actual heart hurts. I don't know. I'm so scared. I don't want to hurt him; I don't want to lose him.. He's my life now; I can't live without him.. God, I don't know what to do.. I just don't know what to do.. I don't want to hurt anybody, but I'm hurting myself.. I just want everything to slow down again. I want to go back to where this started and redo it. I just feel so bad.. This is all my fault... I don't know.. I just don't know..
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Sunday, December 14, 2008

   Questions!! ^_^ (I might post later)
What would you do if:
[1] I committed suicide:
[2] I said I liked you:
[3] I kissed you:
[4] I lived next door to you:
[5] I started smoking:
[6] I stole something:
[7] I was hospitalized:
[8] I ran away from home:
[9] I got into a fight and you weren't there:

What do you think about my:

[1] Personality:
[2] Eyes:
[3] Face:
[4] Hair:
[5] Clothes:
[6] Mannerisms:

Other:

[1] Who are you?
[2] Are we friends?
[3] When and how did we meet?
[4] How have I affected you?
[5] What do you think of me?
[6] What's the fondest memory you have of me?
[7] How long do you think we will be friends or enemies?
[8] Do you love me?
[9] Have I ever hurt you?
[10] Would you hug me?
[11] Would you kiss me?
[12] Would you screw me?
[13] Would you marry me?
[14] Emotionally, what stands out?
[15] Do you wish I was cooler?
[16] On a scale of 1-10, how nice am I?
[17] Give me a nickname and explain why you picked it.
[18] Am I lovable?
[19] How long have you known me?
[20] Describe me in one word?
[21] What was your first impression?
[22] Do you still think that way about me now?
[23] What do you think my weakness is?
[24] Do you think I'll get married?
[25] What about me makes you happy?
[26] What about me makes you sad?
[27] What reminds you of me?
[28] What's something you would change about me?
[29] How well do you know me?
[30] Ever wanted to tell me something but couldn't?
[31] Do you think I would kill someone?
[32] Are we close?
[33] Are you going to put this on your journal and see what I say about you?
[34] Do you know who I like?
[35] Who is it?
[36] Why?
[37]What would be the last words you were to say to me if i was to say goodbye forever?
[38]Would you take a bullet for me?
[39]If you had a choice to meet me again completely from the beginning of your life would you and why?
[40]If I lied to you deceived you and betrayed you twenty times in one day would you still be my friend?
[41]Why did you go so far to answer all these questions and even check for this extra one, what would you gain or want to show?
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Wednesday, September 3, 2008

   Yep, yep! Sorry again! ^_^
Hey, guys, yeah, I know I've been neglecting this site again. I'm sorry, guys, it's just been busy. See, you remember how I talked about our dilemma with moving and everything? Well, it's still not completely figured out, but it's getting there. About a month ago we started staying with my grandparents and my cousins. But, then when it got around time for school, we moved up to Marion, NC and got a room in the Comfort Inn. So, we were completely cramped into two itty bitty hotel rooms for like three weeks. But, now we're in a little town house that's connected to another one. But, I finally get a bed to myself, so I'm happy with that. But, I can't wait until we get a house where we can stay and feel at home. But, yeah, school started two weeks ago. The first day was hard, the first week was hard. But, it's gotten better. I've actually grown a-lot in the past probably 4 months, and I'm actually getting better at all of this social stuff that I've always had the habit to shy away from. Oh, and thank you guys for your advice last time I posted about that guy. As for news about that, I won't take up your time. But, it's going well, to make a long story short! Nothing bad has happened yet, well, nothing too bad. But, anyway, I got my ears pierced again! I have two holes now!! ^_^ I've been wanting to have it done since I was a kid! I'm so happy!! And, I got my hair cut short and I got two blond streaks right around my face. So, yeah! And, I'm getting a cell phone for my birthday!! I can't wait!! ^_^ But, I hope things are going well for you guys! I hope school has started well for you and that the adjustment wasn't too hard. So, if I've missed anything, feel free to PM me or anything. My e-mail is lonely, so you're free to e-mail me anytime you want!! ^_^ Well, I'll see you guys later!! Love you guys!! *hugs* Bye~bye!! ^_^
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Friday, July 11, 2008

   OMG!!!! ^_^
Hey you guys!! It's been forever since I last updated. Sorry for that, by the way. It started with needing more time to study and it turned into "we're moving again, we gotta get packed." So, now we're going through this hectic situation where my dad is racing against time, trying to find a job before July 31. So, yeah, but everything else has been perfect. My life, this year, has taken a turn for the best. You see, when I transferred schools, I had to take an online class, and I know a-lot of you will probably scoff at this, but in the online class I met this guy. Now, it started really strangely. Like, we both admitted that we used to cut, so we developed a friendship over that. So, it went on and then we were friends for a long while until he said that he liked me. I know, now you're all thinking that I'm stupid to have fallen for someone over the internet, but I can't help it. (and, we met in an online class for school, so I know he's not some 80 year old pedophile) But, anyway, it went from there, and now we're soo close. I swear, I know it hasn't been long since the situation with my ex, but I really do love this guy. We don't live that far apart, but the sad thing is I have to move, so the distance is growing. But, I'm really hoping things will work out between us. Anyway, I'm really loving life right now, for the fist time in a long time. So, I'm happy! ^_^ But, how have you guys been? I noticed a-lot of people haven't updated in a while. Some of them probably have the same excuse as I do, but hopefully, the population of MyOtaku will rise again! ^_^ Anyway, I'll try to catch up with as many of you as I can! If you want you can PM me or anything! I hope that everything has been great for you guys and that your summer has been awesome so far!! ^_^ Well, I guess that's about it, I'll try my hardest to get back on more often! So, keep a wary eye on my name on your friend's list! But, I hope to talk to you guys soon!! See ya!! Bye~Bye!!!


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Tuesday, March 25, 2008

   Gymnastics + Me = TOTAL HUMILIATION
Hi guys! Well, my mood today isn't so good. As you can tell by my title *points up* up there, I feel completely humiliated and useless. You see, I have to take gym this semester. No problem, right? Wrong. To me, gym is the worst subject that was ever invented, and it's useless to have to get one credit in High School. I mean, I understand trying to help people maintain a healthy lifestyle, but, let's face it, there are some of us (even though we're few and far between) who are not athletic! I am one of them. I cannot play anything that involved anything above your legs. Which brings me to the point of today's post. Today, we started Gymnastics. We had to do a bunch of those stretches, and we had to do cart-wheels, tumbles, and all that good stuff. Well, let's put it this way: To say that I was terrible would be an understatement. I couldn't even do a frickin' cart-wheel! I swear, I was this close *holds up fingers* to crying.. I know, I'm a wimp, but I'm just not an athlete, and everyone else in my gym class seems to be one (or at least more of one than I am).

Anyway, I'll get away from the slightly depressing news now. So, how was your Easter/Spring Break? I had Friday and Monday off, so that was a good break for me. I really needed some time to get un-stressed. So, that helped a-little, but, let's face it, for as long as school is involved in my life, I'm doomed to be stressed out. *sigh* Well, that's about all I have to say. I hope you guys are having a great day! Let me know if I've missed anything or if you want to talk! I'll probably be free for the rest of the day.

Well, anyway, hope you guys have a great day! See ya! Bye~bye!!
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Sunday, March 23, 2008

Mood: so-so
Wow...things are really slowing down on MyO... Has anyone else noticed that alot (and I mean ALOT) of people have stopped updating on MyO, or at least 95% of people on my friend's list. I miss the Member List; I hope Adam will bring that back. Anyway, away from the MyO issues- life's been pretty hectic lately. I'm not exactly sure what it is that's gotten me so stressed out, though. I think school is part of it, but I don't think that it can be blamed for all of it. So, how are you guys? I hope all of you are having a great long weekend! Hopefully, life is going well for you! Umm... I was thinking of changing my theme, but I'm not sure.. I already have one set up, but I'm not really satisfied (Yami No Matsuei) yet. But, when I get it done, I'll put it up for whoever is still on MyO to see. Well, hope you guys are doing well! If I've missed anything, or if anyone wants to talk I'll probably be free for the rest of the day. So, see ya around!! Bye~Bye!
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Wednesday, March 12, 2008

   Mood: school, school, school... *sigh*
Hi guys! It's been a while! ^_^ So, everything's ok. My brother's birthday was today...For some reason, in my house, birthdays are the worst times of the year. For some reason, we always end up getting into a fight. *sigh* As if school isn't hard enough.. Don't worry, I won't go into detail! ^_^ I'm fine, no worries! So... we've started this whole registering thing at my school, and I've got to get a slot to talk to the guidance councilor about my schedule.

So, how many of you have made a blogging World on the new TheOtaku? I wasn't planning on it, but I did it anyway! ^_^ I guess most of my friends moved over there, so I just created one so that I could maybe switch back and forth. No worries! I'm still keeping MyO! MyO is my home and always will be! I'm not about to abandon it for a shiny new site (which I've finally figured out how to use! *YAY!*). *Salutes the MyOtaku Flag* ^_^

Ok...so....nothing much to report.. I figured out that I'm good at any sport that involves something below your knees, such as: Soccer and Hockey (gym hockey). However, anything above the knees like, Baseball, Football, Basketball, and Volleyball, I suck at, seriously. I guess I might just be a pretty good runner.. I have pretty good endurance and stamina. Maybe I'll try out for track next year. Who knows?

OH! And I found out yesterday that my school actually has this elective: "Creative Writing"! OMG! If it's really an elective I'm going to be in heaven next year!! ^_^ Creative writing is one of my strongest areas, if not my strongest! So, I'm happy about that! OH! And I've gotten to page 100 in my book! Which most of you probably don't remember... yeah....

So, have I missed anything? Hope you guys are doing well!! See ya! Bye~bye!!
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Saturday, March 8, 2008

Mood:~~~ Somewhere in between..... ~~~
Hi guys! So, aside from the whole "OMG, what's going to happen to MyOtaku" thing, I'm doing alright! My sis and I have been having a Rurouni Kenshin Marathon today! ^^ We watched Samurai X and then we watched Disk 12. *We finished the whole Shishio series earlier this week* And, I noticed that Rurouni Kenshin is one of the only animes that I've watched were it is HARD for me to pick out a yaoi couple.. *laughs* I'm usually pretty good at making up couples for a show, but for some reason, Rurouni Kenshin is a hard show to do that for.. ^_^

So...really, I have nothing else to say... I had planned a rant about MyOtaku and TheOtaku, but I decided against it..

Anyway, I hope you guys have a great day! See you all around whatever Otaku planet you're on!! Bye~bye!!
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Wednesday, March 5, 2008

   *drum roll* dum dum dum dum VERSION VIBRANT!!
So, after two days of down-time and months of work Version Vibrant is finally here! To be honest, I checked it out last night, and I was completely and utterly overwhelmed. At first, I was afraid that I'd lose all of my friends on MyO to VV, but that fear is gone now. Either way, I might start using VV since I finally have something I can submit (fanfics and such) ~I WILL STILL USE MYO ^_^, of course!~. The only thing that confuses me is that we have two profiles.. it's just sort of strange to me. And, I'll admit that VV is going to take a while to get used to. By the way, if anyone else is planning on using VV let me know so that I can add you on whatever the friend's list is on VV.

Anyway, other than that I had a pretty sucky day. I won't go into detail, but I'm really getting sick of school. At least it's not all that long until summer, right? So, don't worry, I'll be fine! ^_^

Well, I really have nothing to say.. hope you guys are having a great day! See ya! Bye~Bye!!

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Thursday, February 28, 2008

   Doki Doki Waku Waku! ^_^
Hi guys! I'm doing better than I was the last time I posted. I'm starting to get more content with how it is now. I think I'm just beginning to understand that there's no going back; I don't have a time machine, no matter how much I wish I did. *sigh* But, don't worry, I'm alright, really. I don't want to sound like I'm trying to get pity; I hate when people pity me. ^_^

Anyway! I've already planned my next theme! I think it'll be Yami No Matsuei or maybe Princess Princess, but I'm having just a bit of trouble finding something to use for a Princess Princess theme. So, more than likely, it'll be Yami no Matsuei!

So, there's this book "The Sword of Shannara", and I've been trying to read this book for at least a year. But, every time I start it, I end up getting extremely bored and thrown off in the first few pages. You know, that's just how the first chapter is. So, every time I've tried to read it, I've ended up putting it down and forgetting it. But today I got past the fist two chapters, so it's getting better and I'm actually starting to get into it! I can already tell that since I started reading again it's helping my writing. I'm starting to get more of an understanding of how to word things and describe everything that's needed.

Haha, well ^_^ I think I'm done boring you guys for today! I'll try to get to everybody who updates! Hope you guys are having a great day/week! Hang in there, tomorrow's Friday! Well, see ya! Bye~bye!! ^_^
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