Wednesday, August 16, 2006

Reflections in a Blue Eye

Something we used to do in Theatre class was a personal evaluation, not pertaining to any of the characters we played, but to ourselves as actors, artists, and plain old human beings. Basically we had to answer three questions in a long drawn out essay, and though I dreaded doing it back then, it actually was a fun assignment, and I learned a lot about myself that way. Those questions in a nutshell? Where are you now? Where do you see yourself in the future? And, how do you plan to get there? I never thought I'd be a reasonable animé fan artist back then, but animé came to me after I got out of school so my priortities have shifted. In the spirit of the assignment (which was a three page essay) I'm going to write another personal evaluation, sometimes it helps to look at one's self with eyes unclouded before one can see the rest of the world the same way. Just this morning I got on a bicycle for the first time in a few years, expecting myself to be a little unsteady and nervous, to my surprize, I wasn't. I actually rode better now than I used to ride, even after all that time off the bike. When I used to ride, I was always nervous, which lead to my instability and many a tumble I can assure you. This morning was the first time I was out and didn't have that overwhelming anxiety plaguing my ride. I can't say for certian where it came from, or where it went, but I'm glad to be able to have a steady ride again. But what does that have to do with me as a person? Well, I am a timid person by nature. I'm not very good expression myself in person the same way I do online. Seeing that I have outgrown some nervousness in one area gives me hope that I can outgrow the shyness that has prevented me from getting a job. Right now, I see myself at a standstill. I could be going further, I could be doing more, but I'm not. I let myself get distracted by unimportant nuisance things that would have best been left behind me long ago. Obsessing over small things has dulled my perspective, and bogged me down with way more stress and weight than I can easily carry. The Art School's antics, WorkForce West Virginia's discrimination, and the many interviews that lead nowhere, that's all petty ante nonsense that I don't really need to waste my time on now or ever. They failed me, they failed all of their clients, students, employees, and the public in general. As for WorkForce West Virginia, there's not a whole lot I can do anyway, the Art School still hasn't returned my enrollment artwork, and since the relative who was paying for the course won't back me up in demanding its return, that artwork is worthless to me, I don't care what happens to it. Normally those kinds of setbacks would break a person, or force them to go beyond the limitation they've been dealt, and I think I've been sitting here trying to decide which way I want to go. After all my whining and complaining, I've decided that I want to voercome these obstacles and move on. I may not know how to do that yet, but I know I want to do it. My art means too much to me for me to let one ignorant second rate correspondence course art school poison my taste for creating. I'll just teach myself and send the school a "thank you for NOT helping me develop my art style." letter. As for getting a job, there really isn't anything I can do except keep applying for jobs as I see ones that my limited experience can handle. I can't afford formal education, I can't afford to look in other markets, all I can do is sit here and keep filling out applications until someone decides "let's give that guy a chance, he may surprise us." and hires me. I have given some thought, actually a lot of thought, to other ways I could provide for myself, but they would be risky moves if I don't do them right. I've mentioned my photographs, which people tell me are pretty good (the jury is still out on them in my mind) which I could probably sell if I knew how to do it, and where to go. I'm a reasonable writer too, and have thought about putting that to some use, but I haven't quite figured out the logistics of doing it yet. I can also promote my artistic skill, only to a limited degree as I'm still polishing my own style. Those are things I can do well, but see little demand for them in my area. I have even thought of reaching out to the web and finding a way to telecommute or web base my own business using my skills as the core. There is so much I want to be able to do, so much I want to experience, but I can't do that in my current state. I need a guarantee of income so that I can more easily put together something from my skill set and market it properly. The best way for me to go is to find a steady job and save up as much money as I can, then venture out on my own and try to make it with what I do well. If I had the resources roght now to really put myself in a good place, I would do it in a heartbeat, but I have to think in terms of realistic goals for the short term. Getting a job is the most important goal for me right now. With my art at a standstill, I really need to put some time into it. I know where I want to be, where I should be at this stage of my art, and will have to work hard to get caught up to that point. It sounds ambitious for me, but I will take the time every day to draw now, like I should have been doing all along. That doesn't mean I'll be posting art right and left, I'm not so good at my pictures that I can do that yet, but I will post the ones I feel are improvements to my style and reflect sharpening of my skills. I think I'll set a goal of making one or two posts in a given period of time, but that goal will remain a secret to me for now, just to keep things interesting. If I can polish my style to the degree I want it by the end of this year, then I'll be happy with my accomplishments. It's been a while since I really wrote like that, I'm surprised I even let myself anymore. It does feel good to know what direction I want to go, and hopefully I'll get there soon. Comments: o_O; Anime Dreams! Picture Requests Complete Melfina (Outlaw Star), for Outlaw Melfina Duo Maxwell (Gundam Wing), for kout3uka Sanosuke (Rurouni Kenshin) for Caprice Project Now Closed

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Friday, August 11, 2006

Behind the Keyboard Once Again

Well, we finally got the computer looked at. It wsan't completely fixed, and I'm going to put it through it's paces as best I can in the next few days to prove that, but that's not really important. The computer is working again, so I can get behind the keyboard and do my usual stuff until I annoy the whole family with being online all night. Actually, I have been wanting to cut back on my net time, and having to use my laptop allowed me to do that (It's so hard to navigate the net with that touchpad). Now that I'm back, I was able to keep my promise. If anyone out there dialogues with Caprice, point out that I have her picture uploaded finally, it was there last I checked, so I linked it in the table like the others. I kind of wish I had a few more requests to work on, I would entertain such things more often if they came, but I understand my not getting them, I don't really do funny, and my style is still in development. I do have some things on my plate right now that my sister asked me to do, I'll try to upload a couple of them when the're done, one of them is going to be a gem if I can get it to look right, and it'll be funny (to some of you out there). This humidity is tiring, I was putting together the pieces for a tabletop Zen garden and I'm sapped of my energy right now. Comments: Mamma Vash: Well, a couple months ago I did say I would try it, so I had to stick to my word as best I could and in my case that was making it myself. I used anise and rum to flavor this batch, but the anice disagreed with my sister's medication so next time I'll have to do something not quite as strong (I was thinking about hazelnut, but I'm the only one in my family who likes that so maybe something less exotic, vanilla is so common, but there are other extracts out there to try). I put almonds chopped really fine into my tweaked version, and no one even really noticed they were there, but the flavor would have lacked without them. Tweaking is fun anyway, the challenge is to keep the parameters of the recipe intact so that you're not making a totally different dish, but changing up the flavors and add-in ingredients (like the nuts) makes for great variety, the spice of life. Funny thing though, I was in a dollar store the other day and saw three different kinds of biscotti on the shelf, I almost laughed when I saw it, but in handling the packaging, I think those versions were all too hard to be any good though. $1.50 per piece, that's a bit much isn't it? Shoot, if you really wanted to do it, you could probably make and sell the stuff for 75¢ a piece. Not a bad idea if that kind of side business interests you. After the initial jolt of surprise, it was funny to me too. From the way he just sat there, I think he really dazed himself, but I can't figure out how it is he missed this glass window with about ten years of dirt and grime all over it. I've heard of birds attacking their own reflections, but this didn't quite make sense. With as loud as he was though, I thought a turkey had hit the window. What kind of moron tells people to destroy nature for that toxic garbage? The hazards of that are tremendous, and what of the noxious toxic fumes when that stuff burns (plastic grass plus known wildfire dangers don't mix very well in my book). There are far better, natural ways to manage water consumption. I like the thought of a rock garden, my brother delivered the morning paper to a house where they'd done that to the whole front yard, but they used baseball sized river rock (the smooth roundy ones) and it looked nice. On that same token, get a half ton of sand delivered, find a few nice chunks of sandstone (or another lightwieght rock type) and make your own whole yard sized Zen garden, that would make for productive use of the yard. If people have to have plants, cactus, which go for pretty near a year if not longer sometimes without water would make visually interesting and very economical in terms of water savings garden. In Texas, you can actually find prickly pear cactus leaves in the produce sections of some grocery stores, they're very edible plants once you get the needles off (the needles make great replacement needles for record players so I'm told). Just something to think about: There are always environmentally friendly ways to conserve resources, and they should always be encouraged over environmental contamination and destruction. Anime Dreams! Picture Requests Complete Melfina (Outlaw Star), for Outlaw Melfina Duo Maxwell (Gundam Wing), for kout3uka Sanosuke (Rurouni Kenshin) for Caprice Project Now Closed

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Tuesday, August 1, 2006

Warm Days, Hot Nights

I finally took the time to dig up a recipe and make biscotti, I had to tweak it a little bit, but I think I did all right. It came out tasting a bit like those Anise cookies one can get or make, but my Mom and Sister like them, and I do too so that's all that matters is it tastes good and I think the recipe came out right. Of all the places I found it, it was buried in the archives here on MyOtaku, I just had to tweak it for it to make sense to the cook in me, but I think I did well. Here's a little story to brighten your day, or at least just amuse you in a just plain silly way. Since the main computer went down, I've had to get on the internet with my laptop, and the only connection for it is in the dining room, where we had to work on the AC recently. So, I'm sitting here in the dining room typing away, minding my own business when I hear this loud banging crash against the window. Loud eough that the pane shuddered. At first I thought that the AC unit was shifting in the window, getting ready to fall out, but after the one thump, nothing happened, and I didn't see anything wrong from where I sat, so I knew that wasn't the cause. Then I figured something had fallen from the roof overhang, a tree, or some idiot threw something at the window, so I was reluctant to investigate the source (thinking it was the idiot). After about ten or fifteen minutes, I got up the courage (with the aid of one of my swords) to see what had happened, expecting to see a chunk of tree branch, a piece of wood, a rock, or even just a dent on the air conditioner, but that wasn't the case. When I went to look out the window, everything seemed normal looking straight, but as I glanced toward the left side, I saw this little black eyeball peeking back in at me. There, sitting on the air conditioner right next to the glass of the window was this little pigeon pal. It was so funny that considering how loud the noise he made clunking against the glass was made me think it was something serious, and it turned out to be something so amusingly simple. Even more amazing, he sat there on the air conditioner, letting me take pictures of him through the window, and even let me close enough to get some from outside too. It just goes to show you that not everything that goes "bump" in the light is a scary monster trying to get you, or a freaky stranger with issues. Feel free to pass that story along to your friends and co-workers, I'm sure it'll brithen their day too. Comments: kout3uka It was strange to find it in a dollar store here in West Virginia, the last time I saw one was close to 20 years ago when I lived in Texas. It's a link to my past I don't mind sharing though. I'm very greatful for your feedback on my photos, every little bit is a boost to my morale. I am in the process of figuring out the best way for a freelance photographer to market his own works, and I should know something soon. I know It's not going to be easy, but I know if I apply myself, I will be able to find a way to make things work. I'm not sure if the local Art Center sponsors anything like that, but I can look at my options, though I'd have to host my work outside the home at the Art Center or something. My 102 year old house is a mess inside and out, not the kind of place one would want to bring people to look at art photos (besides the fact that my family and the neighbors probably would not appreciate it too much - those snooty historic district people can be pains in the backside over the littlest thing). I know one of the neighborhood banks does exhibits of local artworks (I assume they'll do photos too), but I think I would need to have them all prepared and ready in advance, and I don't know if they lease the space out ot the artists or if it's a public service thing they do. I'll look at that option as well. I'm also researching the costs of having digital photos printed to canvas (which would look nicer than paper for exhibition I think), but since I can't afford it right now anyway, I'm just preparing myself for when I go that direction. Maybe I should look for a grant of some kind while I'm at it, I'm sure they're out there for idiot photographers who'll do just about anything to get a decent nature shot. Anime Dreams! Picture Requests Pending Complete Sanosuke (Rurouni Kenshin), for Caprice [Upload Pending] Melfina (Outlaw Star), for Outlaw Melfina Duo Maxwell (Gundam Wing), for kout3uka Project Closed Upon Completion

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Thursday, July 27, 2006

Dragons, Pictures, Monkeys, and Podcasts

At least I can say I tried. I gave the podcast another listen like I said I would, I gave the hosts another chance and they failed to win me back. After doing that, the podcast for theotaku.com no longer interests me. I listened to Episode 10, and was surprised to hear, or not hear rather, something very important. During the whole of the broadcast, not once did any of the hosts mention the situation from last week. There were no remarks at all on the incident, nothing to indicate any realization that their comments could have been taken the wrong way, and nothing in response to my comment on the matter. With no recognition of any possible wrong from them, the hosts of the podcast have chosen the cowardly path of hiding behind the mask of feigned ignorance, which doesn't become anyone who tries to wear it, instead of making a dignified and honorable response to my comment on their offensive remark. They failed to accept responsibility for their rude comment, they did not aknowledge in any way the feelings of those who could have been offended by their remark, and they made no attempt to repair the damage they inflicted upon themselves. Choosing not to say anything about the offense at all is worse than the original offense in many ways. Though this weeks podcast was subdued in comparison to the previous ones, it had a tense air about it, that uneasy air of people treading softly because they know they have to be careful, some of their audience is watching for a slip. This podcast left a bitter taste in my mouth, one I care not to indulge again. Since the hosts of the podcast, Anime-Pulse's own Ichigo, Chigo, and Batou can't seem to handle their podcasting efforts with professionalism, they aren't worth listening to anymore. I have no respect for the kind of person (A-P's Batou, who made the comment) who can act like nothing happened after making such a rude, insensitive comment. At least he could have the decency to admit he possibly offended people with his remark, knowing that at least one person who was offended had the courage to stand up and say so. In my experience, when one person comes out and objects to a rude comment, there are more who feel the same way, but don't want the attention from admitting it. Long story short, I'll get my TheO news by reading it, if I want to hear it, I'll record my own podcast. Moving on, I finally got those other pictures I promised uploaded. They're just A few things from around home, and some pictures I think are well taken, but that's just my opinion. One of them is really a joke, but we all could used a laugh now and then right? In looking over my pictures, I came up with another side project, but I'm at a loss as to how to go about making it happen. My family tells me, and you guys tell me too, that I take decent pictures, and on a technical level, I can see that as well. I've been trying to find a way to market some of my photos as art or stock. I'm through with internet searches on the subject, all they turn up are those scam artist "agents" who want to charge photographers to market the pictures (one wanted $550 for the year - up front). If I had money, would I be looking to sell something important to me? With the job market the way it is, I have to be creative with the ways I can earn an income. Since I have little "real" marketable skill (few people are imrpressed with ambidexterity these days) for employers, I have to entertain the alternatives to conventional work with some measure of seriousness. On a lighter note, I got to check out Toonami Jetstream the other day too. Hikaru No Go was funny to me, as well as MÄR, that one made me laugh quite a bit. The Prince of Tennis, though sport related and most likely to be dull throughout, should also have a good story in it and I'll try my best to follow it as it's posted. Comments: Mamma Vash: Now that's hot. Reminds me of Texas one year when temps read 110° in the shade. I uploaded a picture of my Texas Fly Swatter too, I'm sure it'll be good for a laugh anyway. In heat, I rarely concentrate efficiently as well, my brain just goes into standby mode waiting for the cool weather. Anime Dreams! Picture Requests Pending Complete Sanosuke (Rurouni Kenshin), for Caprice [Upload Pending] Melfina (Outlaw Star), for Outlaw Melfina Duo Maxwell (Gundam Wing), for kout3uka Project Closed Upon Completion Home All images of Home hosted by Photobucket. Back to comment.

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Sunday, July 23, 2006

I Be A Sleepy Dragon

The heat downstairs here wouldn't bother me so much if it wasn't humid. The A/C we've got in the window, well, it can't be run till we take it out of the window and figure out why the unit is leaning into the house and dumping the moisture down the wall instead of leaning out and pouring the water on the ground like it's supposed to be doing. The windowsill has settled some, that much is apparent from looking at it. The job of suring up the frame and getting the A/C repositioned isn't one I"m looking forward to helping with, but it's not a one person job. It rained a little today, and while I was outside, I happend to get a few pictures of some nice things around the home. I don't have them uploaded yet, I took them at a higher resolution than my previous ones, so I'm in the process of making them web friendly right now. I can promise that they look good, if appraciating simple nature is your thing. Comments: Outlaw Melfina Thank you for saying so, I guess my artistic sense spills over to photography. kout3uka The Weston State Hospital is over a hunderd years old, and it reflects beautifully the era in which it was built (post Civil War). Sad to say, but America is destroying it's own history by allowing similar sites to be demolished because they weren't kept up in the first place. The Weston Hospital is on the road to restoration, but it has a long way to go yet. I would be a hypocrite if I didn't give the podcast another chance. I'm always telling others to give things that "one more chance" so I have to honor the spirit of my own advice. I don't know what I expect to hear in this coming podcast, and that little voice in my head is telling me to prepare myself for a range of responses to my comments on the matter. Since I commented in the podcast thread as well as send the e-mail, it's almost certain that I'll take some kind of ribbing for being offended. As of this posting on Sunday Morning(East Coast US), the podcast hasn't been posted yet, so only time will tell. Let me put it this way, when Satan names his favorite of the 31 flavors, I'll think about construction work. They don't do a lot of apprenticeships around here, and I have NO respect for a bunch of lazy good-for-nothings who sit around on their butts all day heckling the non-union construction workers who at least are earning an honest living by actually going to work every day. I don't have any sympathy for "that restaurant is being built by nonunion labor" garbage. If the [Censored] unions actually worked instead of crying about every little dip in what they "earn" for doing jack [Censored] them maybe I would see things differently. I've been unemployed for six years so I don't give a [Censored] about the unions crying because someone else is willing to work where they're too [Censored][Censored] high and mighty to pound a single nail because they've priced themselves out of the market in terms of unrealist, and overinflated wage demands. Best Buy is two hours, three hours, and threee plus hours away closest to furthest respectively, if they build a store in my town, I'll be one of the first to apply for a job there. I gave up on Home Depot after updating that online application (they will not take them in the store anymore, they don't have paper applications) for six months and not getting a response. The older associates (in terms of age) are the ones you want to talk to about anything at HD, they usually know what your talking about (that's how it is here anyway, the young ones are all like o_O; Duh!!!). Lowes rarely looks for people in my area, guess they don't have a lot of turnover, which is good for them, but not for people who need jobs. Anime Dreams! Picture Requests Pending Complete Sanosuke (Rurouni Kenshin), for Caprice [Upload Pending] Melfina (Outlaw Star), for Outlaw Melfina Duo Maxwell (Gundam Wing), for kout3uka Project Closed Upon Completion

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Thursday, July 20, 2006

Google-Eyes and Silly Faces

I went to Weston WV a couple days ago and got some nice pictures of the old State mental hospital there. I'm proud to say that restoration efforts are underway which means that someday that beautiful old building may be open to the public. Check the table below for some of my better pictures, hover the mouse over the image to get a small caption about it. I have an audio clip of the insult line from the podcast, but I'm only posting it as a courtesy to those who don't listen to the podcasts. I'm not trying to draw any more attention to it, I'm not out to cause trouble for the podcasters. For anyone interested in hearing just the remark, give this a click. The same tech notes apply to this as to the other audio clips. Comments: Mamma Vash: If I wanted to be mean, spiteful, and stir up trouble for the podcast, I'd go off on how you're not missing much, etc., etc., etc., but I'm not, so I'll keep those things to myself. Generally the podcast is funny (in an "edgy" sort of way) and it's done with the best intentions, so I won't make a feature length production out of a thirty second commercial spot and just advise that if you listen to the podcast, expect some stuff that may not be wholly appropriate. I have sent that e-mail though, I just wanted to make sure Adam was aware of the comment and that at least one listener didn't find it funny. I like your captions, they tell the story of what's going on nicely. Anyone who lives near a convention is fortunate, my being in West Virginia, I don't have that luxury. There aren't a lot of conventions near West Virginia enough for me to be able to talk someone in my family into making the drive for me, so all I can do is sit back and see how others have enjoyed the conventions they've gone to for now, and hope that I'll eventually have the kind of money to be able to go one day myself. I have no response for the elitism comment, I wasn't there so I don't know. I signed up for the e-mail updates on Toonami Jetstream so I know the site. It's an all Macromedia Flash site so it can give some people headaches, but I haven't had an issue with it yet. I'm going to go over there and sit through the eps of Hikaru no Go and MÄR since I've never seen them before. I like the idea, I think it'll catch on, but they do have the drawback of it being marketed as a broadband site. When broadband becomes more accessible though, I'll bet the site really takes off. And as far as knowing of other legal sites for anime, the only one I'm aware of would have to be Bandai's AnimeVillage.com and they're not totally free. The heat wouldn't be so bad if it was a dry heat, we're getting humididty out the wazoo here. I posted one picture I took in Weston where you can literally see the humidity in the air between the camera and the old Mental Hospital building. You know it's humid when the camera sees it in the air. I think I do better in cool fall weather myself, I love the fall season, not only because of the leaves color change here in WV (I'll get some pictures of that come the right time too) but the cooler, less humid weather comes on and there's just something a little bit nostalgic and serene about that sligth chill morning air. All we can do till the cool comes is wait, rest, get a lot of Gatorade, and dance for joy when things do start to feel better for us. They don't post a lot publically job wise, I think the idea is to get students employed first, which makes sense, but I will try anyway. kout3uka I've never been to a convention either, but I've wanted to go, even though I've had less opportunity to even plan to go to one. Maybe that's why I thought that comment was insulting and insensitive, I know I reacted so strongly to it that I almost stopped playing the episode right then. In many ways it's arrogant for someone who went to say that kind of thing about the people who didn't go, or couldn't go. Now, I may have been a little hasty in deciding not to listen to any more episodes, and I'm always willing to give the benefit of the doubt so I'll give next week's a listen to see what happens. I must not have read your comment about the audio right, considering the mood I was in when I got to it (I'd just listened to the podcast), that's a distinct possibility. I do want to try and clean it up some more, but my DVR isn't the best so there may be some distortion in it no matter what I do to it. I use Audacity, a freeware audio editing program to edit WAV files, so it's limited in what it can do. Yeah, he's like that, tells a whole story to make a single sentence point. Move over Æsop, my brother's trying to catch you with his Civil War tales. Since I'm still learning Japanese I'll respond in English this time. All I can give is my best, all I can do is keep trying to find that employer who's willing to give me a chance. That's all I need is one employer willing to give me a chance. Anyone out there hiring? I'll telecommute if necessary. Anime Dreams! Picture Requests Pending Complete Sanosuke (Rurouni Kenshin), for Caprice [Upload Pending] Melfina (Outlaw Star), for Outlaw Melfina Duo Maxwell (Gundam Wing), for kout3uka Project Closed Upon Completion Weston State Hospital All images of Weston hosted by Photobucket.

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Wednesday, July 19, 2006

Limits

In the past few months, you may have noticed that I've cracked a joke about myself needing to "lighten up" about things, that I need to not take online comments too personally. I've been trying my hardest to honor the spirit of that advice. Well, even I have my limits. ". . .for anyone who didn't get to make it, you know, if you weren't part of the forty-two thousand people who made it this year, you suck. . ." Anyone who heard Episode 9 of the TheOtaku.com podcast heard that line in reference to not attending AX this year. The podcast started out as a good idea in my mind, an entertaining way to recap the week's news and information. I've listened to every episode up to now, but this one will be my last. There is no justification for an insensitive remark of that nature. There's a fine line between funny and inappropriate, and that remark went so far over the line isn't even visible anymore. It wouldn't nearly be as insulting to those of us who would have given enything to go to that convention if that wannabe radio (non)personality hadn't taken the "live with it" attitude right after making his oh so very intellectually sound, and infinitely qualified assessment of the people who couldn't share his fortune of attending. Sure, those of us who don't have means to enjoy an animé convention may not be worth much in the eyes of some elitist pigs, but it takes a really low, scum-of-the-earth troll to have the nerve to say that kind thing to the very people who support his program by listening to it each and every week. I can't support that kind of low quality programming, and I'm appalled that the usually high standards of TheOtaku.com have been reduced to that nonsense. I think if Adam were smart, he'd start proofing those podcasts before posting them, because letting that kind of trash get out will only hurt the reputation of this site in the long run more than anything else. It's never cool, nor appropriate, to insult the fanbase, never. After I let myself cool down, I will take the time to e-mail Adam about the remark. One e-mail may not make much difference, but I have to send it. Comments: kout3uka Actually the WAV and MP3 are the same sound, so I'm a little bit concerned that they aren't sounding similar. That kind of discrepancy can make or break a piece of evidence in this field. If the enhanced sound doesn't sound like the original, then something is not right, and the scientific integrity of the person making claims about the sound bytes has to be called into question. Since I'm not in a good position to defend my stance and evidence right now, all I can tell you is save the WAV sound to your computer, and if you're not so inclinded yourself, have someone you know run it through their gambit of tricks to clean it up and clarify the audio. I couldn't agree with you more, hard working, willing to learn people should be in higher demand because quantity of jobs does not equal quality of work performed. The employers around her edo not see it that way. My brother's a bit of an amateur expert on the Civil War era, but he has this tendency to ramble on about such things when asked, and I don't have the hours to wait for the simple answer to "where is are the local sites?" Mamma Vash: I only speak from experience, and my experience is that's the way people are. Ignorance + Power = Trouble, no two ways about it. I can check with the colleges, but since they don't publically post a lot of job openings, it's a long shot at best. I'll do what I have to do, it's that simple. I must be doing something to contribute to those "bad breaks" so this is a personal fight for me. I can't honestly answer your question, there is no state, no place on this earth, that I consider "home" right now. Home is supposed to be where the heart is, but my heart hasn't found the one real place it feels welcome. I haven't come to the physical place I know I fit in, to the place I belong. There's no place I can go when I'm down, no place I can truly be myself, no place I can completely relax, no place I can be comfortable. I know this community is a great place, but, being at home online isn't really the same. There's always the stars, they've been kind to me for as long as I can remember. Anime Dreams! Picture Requests Pending Complete Sanosuke (Rurouni Kenshin), for Caprice [Upload Pending] Melfina (Outlaw Star), for Outlaw Melfina Duo Maxwell (Gundam Wing), for kout3uka Project Closed Upon Completion

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Sunday, July 9, 2006

Dancing on Stagnant Air

The people running businesses here in West Virginia are idiots plain and simple. I went to a job fair because the ad promised on the spot interviews only to find out the company was just doing a "meet and greet" session to take the next two months, go over all the applications, and call people back for serious interviews. Like I said, idiots. Comments: Mamma Vash: Ignorant people are easily corrupted by the power of a position they neither deserve, nor are qualified to work. The head housekeeper who called me for the interview didn't seem to know what she was doing anyway, so I have to wonder how much sucking up to the big boss she did to actually get her job. Considering she had two months to call me for an interview, why didn't she get off her butt long before the holiday and call me back then? Going over a couple months of back applicatins tells me (an my mom who also worked in housekeeping, how do you think I got my first job?) that someone at the hotel quit, and they were expecting a major booking which would have been trouble for whomever they had left in the department. Legality is not important to me because that's not really a job I wanted anyway, and I won't apply there again till I see an "under new management" sign, so it's of no consequence to me. I called back like I said I would on Wednesday for the very reason that I promised I would, and it would serve to show them that I'm the kind of person who keeps my commitments, and would make a great employee if they would have just shown a little bit of patience. Because they didn't show me any patience to set up the interview, I know I wouldn't be treated very well as an employee there, and I don't work where I'm not going to be treated like a human being. If you recall, it was the interviewer for Bob Evans who told me, last year, that "this job isn't rocket science" and "we're looking for experience" in the same breath. I apply there every time they put up the hiring sign though, just to let them know they let a potentially great employee walk right out the door back when they wouldn't hire me. If they choose not to pay attention to the applications like they're supposed to when they call and don't leave messages, then that's their problem, not mine. The holiday celebration went okay. I learned a few things, had fun, and all that good stuff. kout3uka I'll handle the audio first. It's normally bad practice to tell others what you hear with these things, so I'm not really going to detail what my mind hears in the clip, but give it a couple listens, and keep in mind you're listening for a whispering voice. It's very important to this kind of research not to taint it with any bias, and if you hear anything distinct after a couple listens (loop it if you have to), let me know what you hear. I haven't worked on the other clips yet, I'll try to get to them soon, but one of the five total EVPs I got can't be posted anyway, it's actually on top of my sister and I speaking about something, so it's tough to pick out, and even harder to filter for clarity. Reposted the links for convenience: The unenhanced WAV. Keep in mind the wave file is very quiet. The amplified and enhanced MP3. I take pride in being able to demonstrate to an employer that my word means something. I don't have a steller work history to show off, I don't have "in demand" work related skills, I'm not outgoing, I have no professional or personal references, and I do terribly at interviews, but at least I can show to employers that when I say something, they can expect action. If I say I'll do something, I do it, it's that simple. If employers don't want committed and dutiful employees, then there's something seriously wrong with businesses in America today. To answer the travel question simply, No I've never done paranormal work outside of West Virginia. It's a relatively new hobby for me and I can't afford to travel to any of the more prominent sites in the country, I can't afford to travel to many "better" sites even in West Virginia. My brother who's more a of a history enthusiast, particularly regarding the civil war era would get more out of such a trip to Virginia or the Carolinas or even Georgia anyway. And since I'm not a West Virginia native, I don't really care if anyone misassociates the states' identities (I will correct it if the situation warrants though, this one does not). This isn't my home, I have no special attachment to it. Anime Dreams! Picture Requests Pending Complete Sanosuke (Rurouni Kenshin), for Caprice [Upload Pending] Melfina (Outlaw Star), for Outlaw Melfina Duo Maxwell (Gundam Wing), for kout3uka Project Closed Upon Completion

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Wednesday, July 5, 2006

Too Tired for Titles

Alert: This post contains strong language. If you look up the word "jackass" in the dictionary, it will be defined as "The hiring personel of businesses in West Virginia." I thought I'd come across every level of ignorance, but once again the well proves to be deeper still. Back in May I put in three job applications, the one to Holiday Inn, one to another hotel, and the last to Bob Evans, Since I've told the Holiday Inn tale, and Bob Evans called me, but didn't leave a message so they must have realized "this is the guy we didn't hire last year", I won't waste time with telling those ones again. To get the the point, the other hotel I applied to, the local Travelodge, gave me call on Monday. This call was to set up an interview for the housekeeping job I applied for two months ago, but the person I was speaking with wanted me to go in for the interview on Monday. Like I had no plans to do a damned thing for the holiday at all that I could drop everything for an interview, like I had been sitting around for two months just to get their call. That's not all though, when I asked if Wednesday would be good for me to come in for the interview instead of Monday, I got this reply: "Well, I might have already hired somebody by then." Tuesday was Independance Day, and I had plans for both Monday and Tuesday that I couldn't break. What in seven Hells kind of employer threatens to hire someone else if an applicant can't make a same day interview, the day before nationel holiday? What on earth made this employer think I would cave to the threat of not getting the job? I've been out of work for six years, so not getting a minimum wage housekeeping job damned well won't bug me one bit. I don't cave to strong-arm bully tactics and empty threats like that, and I sure as Hell am not going to work for someone who thinks that's how you get peope to do what you want. Since I promised to call back on Wednesday, I made that call this morning, and was not at all surprised to hear "That position was filled." I just hope that by making my call this morning, I showed the Travelodge that they lost out through their impatience, because when I say I'll do something, when I say I'll follow through with something, I do it. I guess not even the holidays are sacred here in ass-backwards West Virginia. Comments: Caprice Let's see if I cover everything: Same here, as well as can be expected, and to be polite, thre phrase "Hell on earth" is too tame for it. I posted a while back about my last interview at Holiday Inn. I don't know why they even called me for an interview, I didn't have experience in the field (Job was a busser), I have no professional references, and after the first interview, my timid nature was an issue, but I was called in for the second one anyway. Is it normal for Employers to do that? Is it normal for them to read an application, see a person doesn't have what they want and call them in for an interview anyway? Do employers get their jollies from humiliating applicants that way? We knew it was going to happen with our computer, it was just a matter of when. My brother had the same problem with his identical model desktop computer a couple months before ours did it. It's a $20 fix (If what he told me is accurate), a couple new fans and maybe 30 minutes to put them in, but since I have no money to take care of the problem myself, I have to wait till someone else needs to use that computer before the problem will be taken as seriously as it should be. I don't like using my laptop for internet related things, but I have to keep on top of my obligations so I do what I can with what I've got. It would be nice to be able to see Howl's on my computer, because my laptop is wide screen format, so I can see the 16:9 ratio at it's best. I watch the films in letterbox on my TV (a 13" screen does not do Studio Ghibli justice). I did watch the movie through once on my TV and was going to watch it again in Japanese, but Disney wants to "check the disc" so I have to pack it up and ship it to them. I just hope they get the message that it's a serious problem for me when they read the page long list of time indexes where the problem occurs, and it only occurs in three scenes (12, 13, and 14 if anyone else wants to check their DVDs in their computer, it may not be a localized thing). I want them to find a defect on the disc too, because they will replace it if that's the case, but I hope they check the replacement first. I won't know till I hear from them. I caught that post the other night, and my hand slipped before I could finish typing my comment so if it looks cut off (Adam really needs to think about an edit feature) just ignore that and have a laugh about it. I was saying that I use templates to make formatting up this page right hear a painless proceedure, and I'm working on a couple for my real website, but I still need to get the CSS thing down, I have a great resource page bookmarked, on my desktop computer (the one with problems), so that's going to have to wait till I can get to it again which means my web site, and this page will be bleh till then. I was going to mention some stuff about working and all that, but I think my opinions would be jaded by my lack of experience, and the inherent levels of employer ignorance here in West Virginia, so I'll just say congrats on "moving on up" and leave it at that for the sake of not being offesively rude. kout3uka I investigate because it gives me a sense of community with the spirits if you will, they tend to like to "talk" to me. I've learned that being afraid of something unknown because of what it "might do" is far worse that learning about it, and finding out what it "will do". People used to scare me all the time with ghost stories, and elaborate "haunting" practical jokes, maybe I got tired of being pushed around that way and chose instead to face those fears rather than let them control me. I know the people who used to scare me aren't amused so much anymore when I blast them with the whole string of things they've done wrong to make an "authentic" haunt. It depends on the type of investigation I'm doing, sometimes, I'll get a bit of a vibe from an area that's really something, sometimes I don't get anything, and sometimes the feeling is a false hit, but when it's a real gut hunch that there's more people there than you brought in to investigate with, it can be unsettling, and exhilarating all at once. All right, let's see what we can do about a voice: Here is the unedited, unenhanced wave file (Best bet is a right click and "Save target as" then listen offline if it don't pop in your default player), and This is after amplifying and running it through a couple filters. The wave file terribly quiet, so use headphones, you'll hear it a lot better, and remember to back the volume down again before giving the other one a listen, it's a little louder. The story behind this particular EVP (Electronic Voice Phenomenon) is very interesting. Myself, my sister, and my mother were in this cemetary at the end of my block, and no one else was there either. It's a local historical site so we were there in the moning and had done a complete walk-around (it's a very small cemetary, about the size of an average lot in a small town) and were getting to more specific things when my sister and I stopped to get a look at an older stone that is actually sticking out of a tree root. The stone is so faded, none of the text is readable, but the outline of a shield shape is still visible. My sister had just commented that it looks like a shield or something to that effect and in the silent moment that followed, I got this voice. My mother was further off looking at another stone, and I didn't say anything, my voice isn't that smooth in a whisper anyway. I started the clip just after my sister's comment so you won't hear it, she thinks I'm weird enough without my asking if I can put the audio clip with her talking in it online. You get a good listen to the spirit's voice though. A technical note on those sound files, they're being hosted on a limited bandwidth free site (My geocities space) so if you get errors about them not loading up, try in another hour, or send me an e-mail and I'll get them to you that way, neither file is really that big so that wouldn't be a problem. If I knew how to embed a player on my page here, I would have done that for you so you wouldn't have to do things the hard way, but I think this will work. I figure one is about 8 hours away if not more (Indiana), the other is probably six (Kentucky), that's about how far they are from me. I know in my head what I need to do, it's just a matter of being able to do it in reality. I can't do anything in reality until I get an income to do it. Anime Dreams! Picture Requests Pending Complete Sanosuke (Rurouni Kenshin), for Caprice [Upload Pending] Melfina (Outlaw Star), for Outlaw Melfina Duo Maxwell (Gundam Wing), for kout3uka Project Closed Upon Completion

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Sunday, July 2, 2006

To Thine Own Self . . .

Howl's will be out of commission for a while, Disney wants to check the disc so I'll be sending it to them really soon. If I haven't mentioned it yet, the disc reads fine in set-top DVD players, but not my laptop DVD drive, go fig. I know the drive isn't buggy, I ran the the Volume 1 Disc of Samurai 7 in it with no trouble, after the Howl's disc had problems. Several things I feel I need to bring up again, only because I probably forgot to mention them before: About Pixia: The help file for Pixia is a separate install (Look for pixhlp_e.exe, or pixhlp_e.zip on the download page). Pixia has the sepia filter (View->Filters->Effects - near the bottom of the list for sepia) Pixia also has an additional filters download, and it has a sepia filer included , if you install this, you get an Effects 2 listing in the filter browser (View->Filters). About IrfanView: The "sepia" and a few other filters for Irfanview are a separate installation, the Irfanview plug-ins download which is separate from the main download. Comments: kout3uka Yep, those are the ones, though they're not as picky with the trees they infest here, I think they start with Elm though and move on to others from there. A few years back we had them in the crabapple tree in our yard. Always take what you can get in terms of inspiration, no matter what the source or location (Keep it legal and don't trespass though). Of course I like creepy tunnels, creepy houses, creepy cemetaries, creepy old school buildings, creepy battle sites, creepy old hotels, and just about anything that's got a paranormal story associated with it creepy or not (the town of Point Pleasant WV's Mothman for example - I love being in that town). AND I'm also one of the hair-brained idiots who won't run away from an area when the ghosts are banging doors and throwing things, but toward it with my camera and DVR to collect the evidence of paranormal activity I want and need. I do have some EVP clips from a walk through a local cemetary, if I can clean them up a little and convert them to a more friendly format (currently in wave format), I'll give you all a listen to some voices that weren't there. The nearest two Hastings stores are both in Richmond, Indiana or Kentucy (I thought that was strange). I don't think they're anywhere in what is considered the "northeast" US actually, so for now getting to one of them is out of the question. There was a Sam Goody up in one college town, but that closed down a couple months ago, so basically none of the good stores are near enough to me to be of any real use. If anyone from a decent animé and related materials store actually read stuff like this, I'd be more than happy to tell them where to put a store that would make it close enough for me to get to it more than once a year, right now I've got Best Buy an hour away in two directions, and get there once or twice a year if I'm lucky. The most local video rental store I know of actually carried the locally filmed, low budget, garbage fest, "Bubble" which is a sign of their caliber itself. That movie was terrible: Poorly filmed, poorly acted, and poorly written, and poorly directed, I don't care if the clown is a big-wig in Hollywood. I think my best bet is a prepay credit card, and a quick browse online, I found a couple sites selling it (cross checked against the bootleg list - wouldn't want to waste my money on that junk - I'd rather pay more for the real thing and know it's legit anyway), I just need to get the money, and have it in the right form to shop online if I want to guarantee finding it. I may have some luck in the nearby college towns, but even those aren't guarantees until I actually get out and see what's there. Anime Dreams! Picture Requests Pending Complete Sanosuke (Rurouni Kenshin), for Caprice [Upload Pending] Melfina (Outlaw Star), for Outlaw Melfina Duo Maxwell (Gundam Wing), for kout3uka Project Closed Upon Completion The Silver Run Tunnel All images in this table hosted by Photobucket.

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