Thursday, June 1, 2006

Ideas, Thoughts, and Dreams

President Truman kept a placard on his desk at the White House, it read "The buck stops here." Well, I'm stopping the buck. My employment situation hasn't been taken seriously by those who were supposed to help me with it (that's a shot at Workforce West Virgina), so I'll be better off taking full control of my own efforts and seeing where I can take me. The talk of dreams and goals that I heard in a speech the other night made me think about what I can do well, and that I still don't know what I want to do with my life. I decided that maybe I want to do what I can do well after all. I've already set a goal for myself, and I'm working at it as best I can, but I think now I'm going to take that goal even more seriously than I was even a week ago. I'm going to apply everything I've got into this thing and if I'm lucky, but the end of this year have something positive to post here. I still dont talk of the details formy project, that's because I want my project to be a surprise, and I want it to have the best chance for success. A lot of prepress on it would only cheapen the final result, so I'm keeping what I'm doing to myself for now. I promise you though I'll post news of it here when the project is done and ready for the public eyes. Oh, I'll have Sanosuke finished this weekend, but I can't upload him. Since the scanner is on my main computer it's out of the question for me to risk another overheat just to scan it in. It'll be up as soon as I can manage to get it scanned though. Comments: Mamma Vash: If you caught my note in my last post's comments, you would have done the click drag, or select all on the page in question to see the hidden text, but I'm too tired to even go there right now. I was just making sure my main content area was being read, which I'm still not enitely sure it is. I'll have to do a more subtle surprise test on you guys another day. I've got stuff I need to go through, I've got stuffI could get rid of, but I'm too tired to handle that right now. My energies need to be focused on my work situation, and casual organizing can wait. I know the feeling though, doing what seems like a lot and looking back to see so little done. "Konban wa" is "good evening" in Japanese, "konnichi wa" is usually regarded as "good day" a more general term and one more recognized I'll bet. I'm a jinx when it comes to employment offers and applying for jobs so I'll abstain from commenting on your prospects. I don't need to share my bad "luck" in that department with anyone else. Do that, and make a back-up copy too! I hope my suggestions are coherent enough for you to work with, I tend to talk over people's heads when it comes to that stuff some times. If you have any questions come on back and throw them at me, I'll do what I can to answer. SCanning images, especially hand drawn sketches is tough to do at first, what I know I learned through trial and error, so I'm happy to pass along what I know to save someone else a few hours of frustration. Sayonara (I'll try to translate "Anime Dreams" into Japanese sometime soon, but I can't today) kout3uka Camp huh? Hope it was a fun experience for you. I'll try to get over there sometime soon, I do want to visit all the friends on my list eventually, but I can't do that on my laptop (you ever try to navigate the net with a 2" touchpad?) so it'll have to wait till I get my main machine back in commission. Chances are that I have stopped by a page or two in the past, but didn't leave a comment because I didn't think I could offer any words of substance to the topics. I'm weird that way. Maybe I should reformat so I'm not making comment driven posts. You'll pardon the muffled snickering in the background, but I'm in one of those sarcastic moods and in my head that sounded so wrong. I'm always looking for a steady paycheck job, that won't change because I have new motivations. I've made my choices, I know where I want to take myself in terms of promoting financial self-support, and I don't expect it to be easy. I have to be willing to use my talents, use the skills I have, to make something happen. If I don't take action on my own and see things through, then I'll be no better than the degenerates and rejects who have failed in their duties as state employees to see that one job seeker was treated with fairness and respect after being discriminated against by their own system. I'll go down fighting hard, I won't give up because of a bump in the road or two. I'll be able to say "I gave it my all, I did my best." either when I do succeed at something, or when I'm left no alternatives. Anime Dreams! Picture Requests Pending Complete Sanosuke (Rurouni Kenshin), for Caprice Melfina (Outlaw Star), for Outlaw Melfina Duo Maxwell (Gundam Wing), for kout3uka Project Closed Upon Completion

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Tuesday, May 30, 2006

I'll Title This . . . Later

Okay, if my last post stumped you, let me explain it. I did my little test to see if anyone was actually reading the main content area of my blog. Lately the content I have been posting in the main area of my blog has gone without comment, without response, so I needed to know if that area of my blog was being read. The content of my test was purely nonsensical, having no significance what-so-ever. It was meant to be an amusing way for me to subvertively determine the depth of readership my main blog content brings. By asking me about the content of my last post's main content area, I know it is being read. Guess that's my lot for comments this time around, since my main computer is still down, I'll just get right to them. Comments: mysterious rei It's all right, I don't get around to my friends' sites as often as I should either. Maybe I'll visit each one when I'm not working from my laptop. Outlaw Melfina The tool I use most often in my net activity is the back button built onto my mouse (it's a 5 "button " mouse), makes navigating so much easier. I do get a kick out of some basic HTML tricks like the one I used though, but they're so easy to see through. All you do is just click and drag the mouse, or, for those of you out there who know what to look for, read the source code for the page, oh the notes I leave in my source code . . . Anime Dreams! Picture Requests Pending Complete Sanosuke (Rurouni Kenshin), for Caprice Melfina (Outlaw Star), for Outlaw Melfina Duo Maxwell (Gundam Wing), for kout3uka Project Closed Upon Completion

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Saturday, May 27, 2006

Blank

This is a test of the Reader's Attention System: Buzz . . . Buzz. . . Buzz . . . This is a test of the Reader's Attention system: Purple monkeys frolic on the plains of Mars in moonlight. Tap dancing on Saturn's rings is a pastel pink polka-dot Hippo. Sanity is the excuse for weak minded people to conform. Popularity breeds contempt. This concludes the test of the Reader's Attention system, if this had been an actual incident, all text would be in Bold, Red, Text, and bear an important subject line like "READ ME OR ELSE!" Once again this concludes the test. That out of the way, I'll be slow to respond, comment and update for a while, my main computer needs to be taken care of it overheated, that means a new fan has to be put in. Oh well, I'll do my best to be on here when I can. Comments: Mamma Vash: 200DPI and 200kb are two different things. Don't try to make the raw scan less than 200kb, it'll look absolutely awful. Scan your picture in as high res as you can get, and from there you resize and compress the images till they fit what you need, and they'll look better. You always want to have a high quality base to work from, never do any editing or compression in the scan process, always do that later. Go download Irfanview it'll help you with image resize and compression. It's the best free image viewer on the net, I've used it for a couple years now, so I know what I'm saying. You can even tell Irfanview which scanner your using and scan directly into it(in File the Select TWAIN Source it should show up in the list) You do have to manually save the image, but that's not a problem. I've been too busy to do any photography work, but I'll keep my eyes and ears out for opportunities. Maybe I can find a company that buys pictures for calendars or something, get some use out of one of my talents for a change, and earn a little money that way. Keep your spirits up, and try to think of pleasant things, that should help you out. I'll just be doing my usual this weekend, except for being online as regulaqrly as usual (my main computer needs the cooling fan replaced, it finally went last night, so I'm bumming the connection on my laptop for now, I swore I'd never connect my laptop to the net, but it can't be helped, it's a necessity. I can't resist: konban wa ogenki desu ka? (in a nutshell it's Good evening how are you[are you well]?) Since I'm still learning myself, and the Microsoft IME is a royal pain in the [Censored] to get to work correctly, romaji would be fine. There is a word processor that would let you write in Japanese (independant of the MS GIME) if you're intersted in learning to write it eventually (posting Kana/Kanji on the net is tricky, but I know how to do that part). JWPce is the latest version of it that I could find, still a couple years old though, but it's free and it works. I have a couple kana tables too if you're intersted, but it would be wrong for me to post them, I sort of "borrowed" them from websites without asking, and I can't remember where I got them from to do the proper linkback, the MS GIME does have a Hiragana table in it somewhere, but it prints out over three pages. I always get stuck on the rather comical "What are you, some kind of airhead?" question asked to Ed before she gasses herself, but I'm weird that way. As my shirt says, "I live in my own little world, but it's okay, they know me here." so I'm always off on wild tangents of imagination. kout3uka Pixia is freeware, made by a Japanese artist/programmer as an alternative to overpriced image maipulation software. I linked to the original Japanese page last time for the reason of showing where the program came from. Macromedia is owned by Adobe, the one and same who gave us useless software as Acrobat Reader 7.0 and Photoshop. I also have a strong aversion to paying several hundred dollars for software (Fireworks is $299) when people are out there on the net giving away their creations that do the jobs I need and want to get done. I always recommend freeware first, then I'll suggest paid options if the free stuff isn't adequate. Yes I can cook, do a pretty mean stir fry and yakisoba, but I've only done that for my family, so I have no professional experience with it. Not having done it professionally (for pay), means the local employers think I have no experience with doing it, no experience means, no hire, there's no point in sugar coating it, that's the way it is. Well, I can't trust the information I got regarding the glass factory, that was one of the jobs I applied to through Workforce West Virginia, so the information I got from the Job Service Office's Manager and the secretary who supposedly made the call to find out if I could still put in my application (through WWV), had zero credibility with me to start with. If I see them advertising directly for people, you can bet I'll apply there again, and I'll apply anywhere that's looking for artistic people (so long as they don't want photoshop experience, I can't even fake my way through that). I must not have written clearly, I never worked at the glass factory, the only place I ever worked in now a flat plot of bare land, the hotel that was there was leveled in December after being shut down since 2002. You know that, and I know that, but the employers around here don't seem to appreciate the concept of giving a guy a change very much. I apply for any and all job openings I see that I can qualify for, which is "No experience necessary" or words to that effect in the ad, at this point I don't care that it's people oriented or not. It's the employers who are either brave or stupid enough to call me in for an interview who seem to think my shyness is a problem. I have no qualms with working in front of people. I know that once I fall into the job pattern, I'll be all right and the people element won't be so unsettling to me. I can't convince someone I just met in less than 30 minutes that I can do that kind of thing, it's just not possible. Japanese is a challenge, and I've done the same thing too with phrases and such from my DVDs. I don't know a lot yet, but I've still got to watch them all in Japanese many times before I'll really start to pick them up on the fly. I do pick out individual words consistantly, kokoro, sora, aoi, tsuki, hayaku, motto, nani, the phrase mou ichido ("once more", or "one more time" if I'm remembering right) and some others that I have to see or hear in context before I'll notice I know what I'm hearing. Anime Dreams! Picture Requests Pending Complete Sanosuke (Rurouni Kenshin), for Caprice Melfina (Outlaw Star), for Outlaw Melfina Duo Maxwell (Gundam Wing), for kout3uka Project Closed Upon Completion

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Friday, May 26, 2006

Back to Reality

There are no bad ideas in brainstorms they say, I'll just shelf that one for later. There's a new staff member here onsite today, her name is chaumag. She's the new developer, so please welcome her, and make her feel right at home. Comments: kout3uka Sadly, they don't hire that way around here. The employers want minimum wage "do-alls", people who can run register and sort the stockroom out at the same time. Knowing that doesn't stop me from applying though, but my chances of being hired for that aren't the best. Even the manager at Holiday Inn, who implied I could be hired on and put into a position out of contact with the guests wouldn't take that chance with me. There have been ads for graphic designers in the paper, but I can't apply for several reasons, they want a person who's experienced on a Mac computer with Adobe Photoshop and Quark software, and has prior design experience. I can't afford a Mac so I've never worked on one, I hate Adobe Photoshop (I proudly use and reccommend the freeware image editor Pixia for all my major imagine manipulation needs), and just what exactly is Quark anyway? Aside from that, I don't have prior design experience (they were wanting something like 6 months to a year). I applied to a job painting glass at the local art glass factory (paining flowers and trees and the like on glass bowls or something like that), and supposedly they were interested in seeing my art portfolio, but I never even got called in for an interview to show it to them. I doubt they would have appreciated my art style anyway. I don't let the locals ignorance prevent me from trying though, because as the saying goes "nothing ventured nothing gained." Interior design isn't a high demand field here, I've never even seen anyone looking for people in that field, but I"ll keep it open as an option. Well, because according to the bank, my credit history would make me a liability (they think everyone is cut from the same cloth with regards to money, like I'd waste my time working at a bank to steal money from them). I have somewhere close to $2,000.00 in debt that I can't pay off because I don't have a job, and most of that debt is becase I was stupid enough to be nice guy when my family's bad credit got in the way of basic necessity. I can apply to banks all I want, but they check credit history there so that's out of the question. The only slang dictionary I've heard of is a US English one, I've actually seen it in my local Waldenbooks once, but I couldn't tell you where, they move that whole store arond so people can't find the same stuff twice, and that annoys me to no end. I hate sotres that rearrange their shelves. Mamma Vash: I never even gave that a thought. I do have a couple photography studios around me, and a good camera shop (got my unipod there) so I could give that a go dince I'm no stranger to the camera (granted I don't know all the features of mine yet, but I still take a good photo or two. It would be nice to find someone willing to train me and I would think in that field they would have to do it anyway, I just don't know anymore. I only have two real craft stores around, one doesn't do classes, and not being a people person, I don't know that I would come off as good teacher material for that sort of thing, but I'll keep my eyes open and start asking around anyway. Maybe the Art Center needs someone for something, I'll have to ask there too in the morning. It'll be one of my all time favorite pieces too. 200DPI shouldn't be small if we're talking and 8.5x11 inch paper. Every time I run a scan like that on the flatbed it comes out somwhere in the neighborhood of 1200xsomething pixels if not bigger in size. Maybe there's another setting to adjust, how about BPP (Bits Per Pixel), that should be in the neighborhood of 24 (In Irfanview a freeware image viewer and basic editor, you'll see an image size like this 640x480x24 BPP). Some other things to look for are color and contrast settings, you may have to play with those some too, but remember where they're set before you begin so you can restore them when you're done if they don't improve anything. You may be scanning into TIF format by default as well, scan (and save) a picture without changing anything, then check the settings and switch to bitmap if it's anything else, and scan (and save) the same picture again, then look at the difference between the two. If the bitmap version looks better than the default, use that then resave after scanning into JPEG format. Those All-in-one scanners are designed primarly for faxing text, not really doing high res pictures, and they can be very unforgiving of pencil lines. If switching to an uncompressed format, and adjusting color and contrast settings don't clear things up, you'll have to think about investing in a good flatbed scanner. Normally I ink my art in by hand before I scan it in, I've tried doing digital conversion to line art, and it always comes out looking terrible for me. I was able to find in one of my local art/craft supply stores the Sakura micron pens, and I'm in love with those things for doing the inkwork on my art now. I only have the black, but I intend to get the other colors if I can find them too. I don't have an aversion to pencil art, but being ambidextrous, I tend to smear and blur things when I'm working in left hand mode, so I like to at least solidify some of the lines with ink to ensure they'll be in the finished product. I'm terrible with CG art, I'm trying to learn how to do it, but I've got a long way to go. I knw what you mean by some people being outstanging with CG stuff. There's a few on here I've got my eye on with that regard. I know enough to know I don't know enough, and that's about it. In theory, all art is basically the same, producing shapes, light, and shadow, but getting from that basic concept to "Wow that's quite a picture!" for CG work are two different things. Maybe after I get my latest stint of artwork done I'll give complete CG a go and see what I come up with. I've got the tools I need for it, Pixia is great for that. I linked to the English page earlier, but Here is the original. Well, I can't speak from experience with that, I don't get that kind of job offer, or standby offer, well, at all, so I can't really suggest anything. Trust your instincts and weight the elements to decide what's best for yourself. Playing the lottery could be fun in moderation, just don't get addicted to it, and whatever you win over the cost of tickets, set aside for something special. I think I'll help you out with promoting change by posting a random search query every time I update, just to make things interesting if nothing else. Here's a crash course in the breathing exercise I do for meditation. To start off, you may need a really cheap timer, and the time to do this: 1) Make sure you're in a quiet place where you will not be distrurbed AT ALL for at least fifteen minutes 2) Sit down in a relaxed position. 3) Close your eyes and clear your mind, block out all distractions as best you can. 4) Take a slow, deep breath, inhaling through the nose, hold it. 5) Slowly let the breat out through the mouth. 6) In your mind, count "1". 7) Repeat steps 4-6 counting up to "4" then start over again at "1" 8) Continue repeating the 1-4 count while breathing for fifteen minutes. Now, while you're doing that, your mind will try it's hardest to think about everything else, which you don't want. Focus only on the breathing, on the counting, don't let your mind take you anywhere else, don't let it try to solve problems (you'll notice it'll even try that to distract you). Your mind has to be completely blank other than tracking the count. It's hard to do at first, but once you fall into the routine, your mind will be more tuned to focusing on the count later on. Start off doing it once a week, then add a day at a time once you get the hang of it till you find a pattern your comfortable with, and that works to keep your stress levels down. Anime Dreams! Picture Requests Pending Complete Sanosuke (Rurouni Kenshin), for Caprice Melfina (Outlaw Star), for Outlaw Melfina Duo Maxwell (Gundam Wing), for kout3uka Project Closed Upon Completion

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Thursday, May 25, 2006

A Couple Questions

I've been thinking about putting together a side project as a suppliment to my blog, an audio suppliment, and I got to wondering a couple things about it. Would anyone listen to it? And, what kind of content should I feature? There's a lot to consider about the format too, should it be one topic? Should I do a small set of short regular features? or should I do a couple longer features, and rotate them out every so often (like run feature A, C, & E one release, then B, D, & F the next)? Right now this is a hypothetical scenario, but if I did produce something, I would try to keep it around 20 minutes long at the most, and will be handling everything myself, that means I'll be writer, producer, director, recording engineeer, host, and whatever else comes up, so it wouldn't be a weekly feature, maybe every other week, or every month, but nothing more regular than that. Shoot me some ideas that I can research, and if I get enough material to work with, I'll put something together as a trial run. Comments: CosmicSailor I'm sure most of us knew that already. Mamma Vash: There are a lot of people studying or speaking Japanese here on site so you got a variety to work with. I'm always happy to help when I can, and I'm greatful to the others, like kout3uka who step in with assistance when they can. In the case of the gryphon, that's a photo of the picture, I had to shoot it with my digital camera because the paper size 18"x24" will not fit into my scanner, nor would my computer have the memory to stich it back together if I did it in sections. I have two scanners, one in my printer (it's one of those all-in-one deals) and a flatbed scanner. I use the flatbed to scan normal sized works (8.5"x11" or 11"x14") which does the job very well. It's an HP scanjet 3970, and it's lowest scan resolution is 200 DPI (dots per inch) If I want a really good copy, I scan my art at 600 DPI, can't go any higher than that, not enough memory, but the settings go all the way to 2400 DPI. That would be my first suggestion, check the scan resolution you're using if it's lower than 200 DPI, it needs to be higher, if you don't have something that tells you what the image DPI is in the scanner's settings somewhere, I'll need more info (Make and model) on your scanner to be able to suggest specifics. It was one of my better pieces, and I did find on my laptop one of the rejected photos I took that's got the whole picture in it. Give this a click to see it. It makes me feel good that she'll enjoy the artwork, aside from the fact that she's as obsessed with gryphons as I am with dragons (made choosing the subject quite easy), she's been through a lot this past year with depression and all, and just knowing that I did something to lift her spirits means more to me than anything. I only wish I could do the same for myself, but short of landing a job, very little will cheer me up. You have remarkable strength and courage, always remember that. Not many people could put up with that kind of pain for very long, I know I couldn't. I said it on your page, but I'll point it out here too, I think your condition is at least partly related to stress, so try to think about ways to reduce your stress level, and that will probably help some with the sciatica. My offer to walk you through a simple breathing exercise that I use for meditation still stands, and it's open to anyone who wants to try it too. kout3uka The dictionary I've got is really bad, it doesn't even have some of the basic stuff that a beginner would need, and this one came as part of an audio course to learn the language. I've got so many penciled in notes that it's not funny, because when I don't find a word, I look it up online, and write it in the margin where it would be. I don't know that I've ever heard of a slang dictionary for another language, but it would be interesting to be able to get one of those for Japanese, German, French, and Korean. That's putting it mildly, but yeah, it's all too far from me right now. The fundamental problem with any mall job is the people element, and lets just face it I can't work with people. I'm too timid, I'm too passive, and I'm too nervous in person to do it. That doesn't stop me from applying though, but like everywhere else, the shops in the mall want pretrained personable peons rather than taking the gamble with an inexperienced recluse. The most aggravating thing about being called in for an interview to me is the fact that the interviewers don't seem to read over the applications fully before making the phone call. I've been called in for interviews and taken the inteviewer by surprise when I told them I had no experience in the field, after having clearly indicated so on the application that I filled out. If they'd take the time to read the applications they get, they wouldn't need to waste time calling me in to prattle on about nonsense for half an hour then go home with nothing. I had one of those managers too, took three calls to get him to talk to me, after he called me in the first place to set up the interview. I don't think the word exists yet that is harsh enough to cover the full scope of thins thing with me. Frustrated, irritated, annoyed, agitated, irked, aggravated, nothing fits, they're all too tame. I've made it this far, I'll keep right on at it because I need the income. Anime Dreams! Picture Requests Pending Complete Sanosuke (Rurouni Kenshin), for Caprice Melfina (Outlaw Star), for Outlaw Melfina Duo Maxwell (Gundam Wing), for kout3uka Project Closed Upon Completion

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Wednesday, May 24, 2006

Play a Song for Me

Been trying to handle an issue with Yahoo! messenger, it doens't want to do the status messages right for those of you with version 7.5.[insert numbers here], and of course Yahoo1 is being their slow witted self about it. Comments: Mamma Vash: Those do in a pinch, but you should invest in something that will last you more than an hour, a heating pad would probably be the best way to go, or one of those heated massage mats that go right on a chair (like the cushions you'd put in a car actually). Just something to think about. I know little about sciatica issues, so I can't advise on specifics relating to them. I'm in the process of restoring an old lawn mower, one of the really old ones with the spiralling "blades" that has no motor in it at all. Since I live in a house with a small yard, and hate gas power mowers with a passion for their noise alone, I talked my brother into giving me the old push mower he had (it takes no more effort to walk behind in than a gas one). Anyway, the cutting blade was all rusted up, so I've got to clean and sharpen it before I can actually cut the grass with it, but it mows light grass even with a dull blade if it's adjusted right, which I've got done. I don't do a lot of handywork myself, ladders and I don't get along too well, so climbing to the roof of a three story house to fix a few leaks is out of the question for me. I'm not so good with certain plants, I killed my bonsai tree, so much for long life with that one, only had it a year too. I'm growing mint in a window box right now, I love the smell, but only two of the seeds sprouted out of the whole package of seeds. Good thing I started with Peppermint, I still have my spearamint (wild spearamint is the best, you can smell it a mile away and it tastes so good too) seeds in reserve. On that note though, I have issues with fake plants too, I'm a stickler for live vegetation. If I'm going to have a plant, it better be a live one. You might look at those air ferns, the ones that don't need water, they last a long time if given the very light touch they need, read the package for details, I've never owned one myself, but I know people who have. All I can do is keep trying, and waiting till the right job comes along. I've applied to just about every place I can here anyway, some onf them two or three times. The best thing was my sister liked it, to me that means the world. I hope you've got the Asian language packs for this one (and the site here handles it correctly): Friendship is "yuujou" ͧ¾ð, Lifelong friend is "shougai no tomo"¡¡À¸³¶¤Îͧ. I found two different words for friend, but no Kana or Kanji for them, "yuujin", and "tomodachi", I think the more general of the two is "tomodachi", if my sources are right, "yuujin" is more specifically referring to a companion type (more intimate) relationship. Thank you for the comment on my gryphon, I didn't spend the better part of two or three weeks on it for no reason. I could have gotten a better picture of it I suppose, but you get the idea. That was actually inspired by a lesson in an art book I was given for Christmas, and some resources I was directed to for dragon drawing by members here, but I did do my own thing with it. I used pencil, colored pencil, and ink, and sky is actually a watercolor pencil, you take and color what you want, then go over it with a damp paintbrush and it looks painted, I wanted that textrure for the night sky. The picture is cut off, but I have mountains and a full moon in the background too, though I can't show you, I didn't get a good enough full view photo of the picture. Maybe I should go back to my smaller paper so I can scan the pictures in the right way. kout3uka I found a couple translations, but thanks for your input with the question too. I didn't come across nakama in my research, guess my Japanese/English dictionary isn't as complete as it should be. Yep, and I've never seen it on any other program, animated or otherwise. It is nuts, no pun intended on my part either. I have no preferred choices, there's nothing here I'm overly passionate about doing. I'm looking for work out of necessity, not enjoyment. But, because there are only so many businesses here, I apply every time I see them advertising job openings. For some reason persistant people aren't really wanted in jobs around here, and I don't know why. On one hand the interviewers say they want experienced people, but they go and hire people who don't do the work and collect the paycheck anyway. We have a couple chemical plants, Dupont, GE, and the like, there's an art glass factory somewhere around here (I applied there for a job too, they don't look often though), A lot of restaurants, a couple hotels, the town likes to delude themselves into thiking they're tourist worthy, but that's laughable at best, a whole host of retail, Circuit City, K-Mart, Sears, JC Penny (A whole mall), and Wal-Mart which I can't apply to, thanks to my mother and idiot brother both having worked there before and causing so many problems for management that I'd be treated like dirt because of my last name alone (that's how people around here work, they don't believe in doing things right). Aside from that, and a few golf courses, the only real "industry" would probably be either of the two hospitals and they are out of the question too, I don't have the strength of will to be around that environment. The biggest towns in West Virginia (Western side) would be Wheeling (about two½ hour drive away), Charleston (State Capitol, one hour), Huntington (1½ hours away, near Charleston), Clarksburg, (Hour fourty five), and Morgantown (2 hours at the most). There are no major metropolitan areas near West Virginia at all. It's not like I could actually look for work elsewhere, the price of gas and my amaxophobia make it impractical to look much beyond 5 miles. I have to keep in mind that I need to be able to get there on my own when no one is available to take me. I just want to add this, getting an interview does not mean aperson has gotten the job, some people around here seem to thing the interview is just a formality on the road to being put in the position, it's not. Anime Dreams! Picture Requests Pending Complete Sanosuke (Rurouni Kenshin), for Caprice Melfina (Outlaw Star), for Outlaw Melfina Duo Maxwell (Gundam Wing), for kout3uka Project Closed Upon Completion

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Tuesday, May 23, 2006

Pthbbbt!

Last post's title was a line from the end theme to Whisper of the Heart, the Japanese reversion of Take Me Home, Country Roads. If you've ever heard the original, the line I used falls into the song's pattern at "I hear her voice in the morning hour she calls to me" from the original, but does not translate to that from the Japanese. This post's title comes from my own sheer exhaustion. Comments: Mamma Vash: The only thing I know to suggest, but you'll want to consult an open minded medical professional about it is to take potassium. That's all right, I don't think I really covered anything dramatic, but I did link to my gryphon picture. I'm too lazy to put it up again, it's in the portfolio so it's not hard to find. My white whale just happens to be this vicious, spiteful, and stubborn job market, but ". . .I'll chase him round Good Hope, and round the Horn, and round the Norway Maelstrom, and round perdition's flames before I give him up.*" I'll survive, I have up till now right? That gryphon took a lot out of me, it took somewhere in the neighborhood of two or three weeks to finish, so I'm resting this week. I'll get Sanosuke finished this weekend if nothing comes up, then I've got two more to do for someone else, and my dragon revisit to look over again and decide what direction I want to take it, so I'm working on my art yes, but in a standby mode right now. I've been sore like that a couple times, but I can't say I really know the depth of that discomfort. I mentioned potassium earlier, you might also try a little bit of heat, like a heating pad or one of those 3M blue gel hot/cold packs that you freeze or boil depending on what you need it for. It's supposed to be rainy off and on here too, but luckily for me I'll only be itching my ear all week. If you looked up the definition for Amaxophobia, you would confused by the condition. Amaxophobia is generally considered the overall fear of being in a moving vehicle, riding as well as driving, so online definitions only reflect that. The phobia in my case is specific to driving, I can ride as a passenger just fine, but I can't get behind the wheel myself. My mom, dad, and sister all drive without problems, so they take me where I need to go for now and I'd bike or walk if I had to anyway, I've got no problems with a little bit of physical exertion. The busses here make their last run at 6:00PM which is totally asinine considering there are stores that are open till midnight and later, and taxis are outrageously priced too. We get no links to other towns at all with the mass transit system (no passenger trains period), and that's a problem that needs to be remedied. Public transportation itself, all over the country needs to be rebuilt from the ground up. * = From Moby Dick by Herman Melville. kout3uka Thunder Cats is the only cartoon I can recall ever seeing a psychological consultant listed in the end credits, I wonder why they had one. I was into the Transformers back in the 80's, kind of lost them when I moved, the stations I could pick up on antenna didn't carry them so I was out of the loop for a while. I don't really like this latest incarnation myself, the CG is just too much. In 1863 the western part of the state of Virginia, which didn't want to secede from the Union was finally made into it's own state, West Virginia. There's a remarkable difference between the two, and I've never been to Virginia. To move, or wing it would require resources that I do not have right now. But you know what's funny, I was asked what my prospects for moving out of state were when I contacted one of my Senators' offices in April. I broke down your suggestions so I could see them in a more organized fashion. Work Education Wait Tables Bussing Tables Housekeeping Starbucks Clothing Store Checkout Janitor Pet Sitting Technical College Apprenticeship The problem with getting any job in this area is the employers are too lazy and cheap to pay someone while they are being trained, they want people to come into the job with experience, which they are not going to find. Here's my comments on your suggestions: Work related: I've applied for jobs like that, but I haven't even gotten called in for interviews. I'd have a hard time convincing an employer I'd be a good waiter anyway, I'm terribly shy in person, which means to employers I wouldn't be good around people, and let's face it, people are what waiters are all about. The Holiday Inn job I just applied to, and the other job I mentioned a while back(It was a Bob Evans restaurant) where the interviewer told me "this job isn't rocket science" were both bussing table jobs. I'll point out that for Holiday Inn, bussers also deliver room service for which my timid nature quashed my prospects, and for the other job, the interviewer told me in the same breath as his previous quote that he wanted someone with experience. I apply for housekeeping jobs too, but around here no one pays more than minimum wage, and if you've done it before in a hotel setting, even for a day, you'd know that work is worth more than $5.15 an hour. I've got four months of hotel housekeeping and maintenance work under my belt, so I apply for both of those because I can do them, and have no problem with the thought of doing that kind of work, but so far no calls for interviews. It doesn't help that the hotel I was employed at closed in 2002, and was demolished in December of last year. Maybe people think I'm lying about that job. In all the towns I've ever been to in West Virginia, I've never seen a single Starbucks (ironically you mentioning that particular franchise, it was named for a character in Moby Dick, which I quoted in this post), they have millions of those things open all over the place, but none in West Virginia that I'm aware of, at least none in my town or anywhere close to me. I've applied for fast food jobs, but I guess McDonalds is more interested in hiring high school kids. So much for those phony "my first job was at McDonalds" celebrity commercials. I'm not sure what you mean by Clothing Stores, but it you're referring to Old Navy, TJ Maxx, or places like that, I've put applications in there too, and not one of them have called me back. I guess it's too hard to show someone how take things out of boxes and put them on shelves, racks, or whatever the store uses to display its wares. Again, I'd have a hard time convincing employers that I'd be right for a job that puts me in customers' faces all day, but I have applied for cashier or checkout positions before. Since I have zero experience in sales, I don't attract enough attention to myself for that kind of job anyway. Contrary to opinion, I have no qualms with cleaning, so I do apply for janitorial jobs as often as they come up and don't have a "must have [insert ridiculously large number here] years experience" tag with them. I guess cleaning hotel rooms isn't the same thing as cleaning an office building, it certainly isn't as hard because there are no beds to make, maybe I'm over qualified for janitorial work. I don't know because no one calls me for interviews. People are very particular with their pets, and need to know the caregiver is qualified to do it. I've got no references, professional or personal, so I have no way to back myself up. And, I can't just jump into a field with no clue how to do it right. Education related: There are so many small colleges, and technical colleges around me that it's not funny, the problem being credits aren't transferrable from one to the other if I decide to change directions, and how am I supposed to pay for it? My Mom is still trying to pay off her student loan from a paralegal course she graduated from in 1994. And to top off the sundae, she hasn't gotten a job in the paralegal field since she graduated. So I'm supposed to gamble on education that won't get me anywhere for what? Add thousands of dollars to the debts I can't pay off now, and put more black marks on my already deplorable credit report? All for the possibility that I "MIGHT" get hired in the field I study. That's not a risk I can afford to take. They don't do a lot of apprenticeships around here that I've seen. I could check with Workforce West Virginia, the parent bureau of the Job Service, but they refuse applications, post fraudulent information to job seeker files, and do not adequately provide the resources they are funded to provide to job seekers, so I don't trust them as far as I can spit. If Workforce West Virginia was worth even one grain of salt, I could look into an apprenticeship if there were any local ones. Otherwise, I have no idea where to look for that kind of information. I would probably get the furthest with this option, if it were available to me, and you're the first to suggest it. Funny thing is, no one at Workforce, nor the Senator's office I contacted about Workforce (had to do with my applications being refused in September, I posted a rant on this a while ago) even came up with that idea, that means you've pulled ahead of the "professionals" who only seem to have one track minds when it comes to the job market. You'll have to ask me specific questions if you want to know something about my general area. I've never been good at broad explanations without knowing what specific information is needed. Anime Dreams! Picture Requests Pending Complete Sanosuke (Rurouni Kenshin), for Caprice Melfina (Outlaw Star), for Outlaw Melfina Duo Maxwell (Gundam Wing), for kout3uka Project Closed Upon Completion

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Monday, May 22, 2006

Donna Kujike Souna Toki Datte

Keshite Namida Wa Misenaide Still tired today, but I did get some work done on one writing project of mine. Comments: kout3uka I'll drink to that, I'll take being an oddball over normal any day of the week. The art style is visually appealing to me, that's the technical definition of why I use it, but it's more than just pretty faces and big monsters to me. Let me tell you a story, it goes back a couple years to a Saturday morning. I'm sitting there watching the regular fair, then someting new comes on, something with an odd name, odd theme, and characters like I had never seen before. In following this new program over the course of weeks, I saw parallels to my own life in the characters on the screen, an unwilling boy with the tremendous weight of responsibility thrust upon him, a girl, uncertain about her feelings, and unsure of her future, a man who's nobility and honor wasn't all it seemed to be, and many, many others. I had just gotten through a tough senior year in high school, and seeing bits of myself on the screen in other people got my attention. I'm theatrical in nature, so I could appreciate the level of emotion that was there in that show when I saw it, and I made a point to remember the name so I could get it on video (I didn't have a DVD player at the time) to have it all the time, that show was Escaflowne (I have the box set on DVD now). It wasn't till I got CN a couple years later than I started seeing much more of that stylized animation that I learned went by the name "animé". I draw mostly because I was impressed by what I saw six years ago on TV one saturday morning, and told myself I would be able to draw that someday (I don't even know where that thought came from, it just sort of happened). Ironically, I have yet to actually draw anyone from Escaflowne. The art style fits me too, I think that's why I kept it when I tried it out. Not to get off the subject, but I was just remembering the version of Transformers that was out with Escaflowne, and I'm the only one who seems to remember it ever being on. It was the only time in the whole genre that Optimus Prime was a fire engine (I will not argue the point with someone who doesn't know/recall the series), the main human character's name was Koji (he was a kid, which made for a few moments of "what is a kid doing in the front seat of a fire engine that's running full speed down the road with no one driving it?"), and his father, a scientist was abducted by Megatron, something about what he knew about energy sources. Am I the only person on the planet who remembers that release of Transformers? It was one of the better ones in my book, closer to the old 80's version in characterization. Realisticically, there's no way on this earth I can shoot for doing what I want to do, what I'm interested in doing, or what I know how to do while I'm here, because podunk West Virginia just doesn't have a market for those things at all. I know how to design and apply make-up effects for stage shows, and I love the theater, but there's zero market for that skill here. I know how to draw and can do it reasonably well, but again, zero market for that style in the foothills of appalachia. I know how to handle some basic computer problems, but not enough to do busniess in repair/troubleshooting, and I know a few things about electronics, but again, not enough to use that knowledge for my own gain. I can also sing a bit, but I'm only on key in Japanese, and I don't think the adaptation of Take Me Home, Country Roads used for Whisper of the Heart would go over well with the natives since I do live in West Virginia, the subject of the original song (I'll point out that even John Denver doens't mention the rude, ignorant, self-centered, clannish, territorial, and inconsiderate people of West Virginia in his song, just the beauty of the landscape). I've long accepted the fact that I'm not going to find any job in the categories of "what would fit me", or "what I would enjoy doing", because I know I'd stand a snowball's chance in Hell to actually land something like that here in this hole. Why do people ask me that anyway? Asking me what I'm interested in doing or what I would enjoy doing won't help me right now, and neither will trying to force out an answer that I can't in all honesty or good conscience give. I can not get more specific than saying "anything" because I don't know exactly what I'm looking for in terms of employment. Aside from that, I'm more concerned with developing a steady income to pay off the debts I have rather than the nitty gritty details of what I have to do to get the money. I'll learn to like the job if necessary. I know what I can't do, I can't take any job that requires driving, I'm amaxophobic, which means I'm scared to death to drive a car. I can't lift much more that 40 lbs, so construction is out, I don't have a higher education, "professional" skills, management skills, sales skills, customer service skills, food service skills, trade skills, people skills, and limited hospitality skills for that matter, so any job with emphasis on those fields is out for me too. I apply to them anyway hoping someone will give me a chance to prove myself, but that hasn't happened yet. Though I would prefer a job that lets me be creative, I can't say anything more than that, nor should I be expected to answer absurdly irrelevant questions that serve no purpose other than to antagonize me, draw uncomfortably undue attention to my limitations, and irritate me to no end with their nonsensical values. That's the kind of "help" I would expect, and have gotten, from the Job Service, and I use the word help as loosely as I can get it. Anime Dreams! Picture Requests Pending Complete Sanosuke (Rurouni Kenshin), for Caprice Melfina (Outlaw Star), for Outlaw Melfina Duo Maxwell (Gundam Wing), for kout3uka Project Closed Upon Completion

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Sunday, May 21, 2006

I'll Take Your Part. . .

. . .When Darknesss Comes. . . Well, I'm worn out right now, but I've got a bunch of things to do before I can get some rest so, I'll try to be quick. Here is the gryphon picture, the important part anyway. Apparently 18" by 24" paper doesn't line up well with the chip in my digital camera, so some of it got cut off. Now that it's done, I can get back to work on Sanosuke. For the record, my sister liked the picture, more than she said, but I could feel it, and to me, that's a big reason why I do this kind of thing. Comments: kout3uka I can be proud of the fact that I got myself through the interview process, because more exposure to that part of job hunting will eventually get me a job I think. And to be honest, I'm relieved that I didn't get this hotel job. My instinct told me when I met with the general manager that I wasn't the right personality type for the job, I'm too independant. I've learned the hard way that my intuition isn't wrong about this kind of thing, and my inner voice was screaming at me "Don't take this job!" so I wouldn't have taken it if it was offered to me anyway. Holiday Inn can go [Censored] themselves for all I care. When they want to let creative people flourish, I'll gladly give them another try. The focal point of my oddball style is my art, which my family humors, but sometimes I think their support is more for show to keep my spirits up than it is genuine, though, I'm probably just being paranoid about it and not seeing the truth right in front of me. I'm not too sure they fully understand why I'm passionate about this art style, but it's hard for me to explain it to them. Animé found me when I wasn't really feeling good about myself, and through it I've seen that I can overcome any obstacle set in my path, and shouldn't be discouraged by small setbacks, or the large ones (job hunting anyone?). I guess I relate to the style on a more personal level than they do, though my mother was a bit surprised to find out both Speed Racer and Gigantor (the space age robot) [she always says it with the part in parentheses, has something to do with the opening theme song, but I don't know any more than that] were both early imports of Japanese animation. I don't think she saw the original Astro Boy, but I can't be too sure. At any rate, I get the feeling from my family that they tolerate my oddball sense, while not really liking me to perpetuate it the way I do. I'd be more down to earth and serious if I had a real job. . . . . .NOT!!! I'll always be a nutcase. Oh, I'll make something come along for myself if nothing else comes my way. I was mad as all [Censored] the day I got off the phone with my US Senator's office about the discrimination I was dealt at the Job Service. That "staff assistant" didn't offer me any kind of assistance with resolving the issue. Well, since I wasn't going to get any help on any level, I put a plan together that very day, and I'm currently working on it. When it's ready, I'll announce it here, not before. I do appreciate the support, and I'll take any help I can get, including Divine. Anime Dreams! Picture Requests Pending Complete Sanosuke (Rurouni Kenshin), for Caprice Melfina (Outlaw Star), for Outlaw Melfina Duo Maxwell (Gundam Wing), for kout3uka Project Closed Upon Completion

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Friday, May 19, 2006

A Rock Feels No Pain

I really don't have a lot to cover today, so I'll skip right to the comments instead. Comments: Mamma Vash: Thank you for the support, it means a lot to me, but once again the Fates have decided I don't deserve a break. As for being let down gently, I really like hearing "We'll call you either way." then not hearing from the employer at all. I've been told that several times in recent interviews, at least I got the call back yesterday, but she didn't leave a complete message for, I have to return that call today after 4:00PM (so I won't know anything for sure until then). Personally, I like a bit of solitude once in a while, but I'm just odd that way. I do plan to make some digital images of the gryphon, so I will try to get it up once I get those done. I have to get some sleep first, then color the picture, and finally frame it. I still haven't come up with a way to wrap it though. Outlaw Melfina That's a lot of interviews, if I add up every one I've ever been to it probably would be something like 10-15, I fill out a lot of applications, but don't get a lot of interviews. And I do hate to have to answer the question "why haven't you worked in the past six years?" because it's not my problem people won't hire me, I do the best I can, and my best isn't good enough. No I'm not on that much, I don't really get around a lot, and I don't go out of my way to get noticed by people, so I shouldn't really complain. I've had quite an exhausting week, and when I'm tired I overreact to the dumbest little petty ante nonsense. Directing for the stage is actually very challenging, but it's fun to do. My Theatre teacher told me I had a good eye for direction several times during the course of the years I took it in high school. I never actually took on the responsibility of directing a play for the school, but I know if I said I wanted to try it, my teacher would have let me do it in a heartbeat. I did a lot of directing exercises in class, and I came close by stage managing a couple plays (never again will I do that, you want stress, be a stage manager) for the school. Imagination is a great thing to have in any of the performance arts. Please take a look in that direction as a possibility, you just might find something you like, and liking what you do is the best motivation of all. They didn't do that at my school, they were too busy worried about getting their new football field planted and played on. I have seen biased surveys though, those are fun to fudge the results on by choosing totally random things that don't make sense together. That's what they get for trying to lead the surveys in the direction they want to go. kout3uka The job was a busser position at a local hotel, and thanks for the support, but like I told Mamma Vash, the Fates were unkind to me once again. I don't draw a lot of attention to my art, so no one's tried to copy it, and no one's accused me of copying theirs yet either, so I can't speak from first hand knowledge on the subject. I do know a couple people who's pictures have been copied and such. If a person is good enough to copy someone else's picture, then they're good enough, technically, to draw one of their own, so I can't understand why they hurt themselves by copying someone else's work. It's almost done, I've still got to get some coloring done on it so I can take some pictures of it (that paper size just won't fit on the scanner!) and try to get something up here for you all to see. And I'll pass that along for you even it it makes me seem weirder than I already do to my family *^_^* If she likes the artwork, that'll be enough for me no matter how bizarre I present myself. Editorial: . . .And an Island Never Cries Job hunting sucks. A review of all my recent applications and interviews leads me to the conclusion that there has to be something wrong with me if I can't get myself hired, even for simple jobs. I've tried everything I could think of, I've taken everyone's "expert" advice and I still can't get a job. I know I'm a timid person, is that more important than my ability to learn? I know I haven't worked in six years, but does that carry more weight than my willingness to try? I don't understand employers, I don't understand why I get called in for interviews only to be told I'm not right for the job. I don't understand why an employer would ask someone in an interview if he'd be willing to work on a trial basis then turn around and give the job to someone else anyway. I just don't understand it at all. I don't even know what I can do differently to make myself look good to prospecting employers. I've tried everything, I've done my best to be my honest self, and I still get nowhere for my effort. I guess I have to come up with a way to support myself since no one else will give me a chance to prove myself. Anime Dreams! Picture Requests Pending Complete Sanosuke (Rurouni Kenshin), for Caprice Melfina (Outlaw Star), for Outlaw Melfina Duo Maxwell (Gundam Wing), for kout3uka Project Closed Upon Completion

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