Thursday, May 18, 2006

Bearer of Messages

For the record, my previous post's title was from the Joe Diffie song Ships That Don't Come In a mixed emotion song, depressing and uplifting at the same time. Well, I had a job interview yesterday, and I go in this morning for a second interview, hopefully I'll know today one way or the other about the job. I'll post details later, right now I don't want to jinx anything by saying too much in advance. Comments: Outlaw Melfina People delete their own names, or they're kicked off the site (aka banned), either way, my guestbook is cursed to not have more than 69 signatures, because every time it reaches that number, someone who's signed it leaves the site one way or another. It got higher that 69 once, but that lasted maybe a week or two at the most. It's a matter of perspective, choosing the right career path isn't something that can be forced upon a person. Trust me, I'm still undecided because too many people tried to push "choose your path now" onto me way too soon. I have found my passions in writing and art, but, they call them "starving artists" for a reason. Art isn't a guaranteed, stable income (just ask any of the artist who helped make Art of Otaku happen). In my case, I'd be happy to find something that I like to do, that pays me reasonably well for doing it. In some ways I rather enjoyed my stint as a hotel maintenance person/housekeeper, it was interesting work most of the time, but I know I couldn't do that for my whole life, it literally breaks one's back to do that kind of thing. I'm keeping quite on the details of producing that texture, but I'll be sure to use it again in future works. Mamma Vash: I'm greatful that you take the time to stop by and read through my rantings too. I'm not a very social creature so I value every friendship I've made on and offline. I do try to be an uplifting person when I can, but even I have my limits, like the other day. I can't be humerous all the time. That reminds me I need to retake that Bebop Song quiz Waltz for Zizi is way too depressing for my personality. I have revisited my dragon art, but right now I'm too busy with getting other people's stuff done to worry about what I want to do for me. After I get my sister's gryphon done, I've got Sanosuke to finish and get up here, I've got Hojo and another character to do for someone else who's not on MyO, that makes four pictures to get done, so my dragons can wait their turn. I can't really comment on "work" right now. kout3uka As I mentioned earlier, the people either leave on their own (mostly made unwelcome here by condoned harrassment), or they are banned from the site and "forcibly" removed. There have been some incidents of plagiarazed work going around again recently, maybe some of them got caught doing something stupid, I'm too tird to really care right now. If I get that job I mentioned, my time will be reduced, so it will take longer to get Sanosuke done and up here, but right now I have less than three days to get an 18"x24" picture of a gryphon penciled in, inked and colored for my sister's birthday. And Wal-Mart cheated me by overpricing the frame I bought (shelf said one thing register rang up $5.00 higher), so I'm taking it back today and shopping elewhere for a suitable frame that's actually priced correctly on the shelf. Anyway, it will be a little longer on Sanosuke, but I'll try to have him up really soon. Hen'elele ka moe na ke kanaka (A dream is a bearer of messages to man) Picture Requests Currently Working Cataloged for Later Finished Work Item Completed Item Completed Sanosuke (Rurouni Kenshin), for Caprice No Outstanding Art (Yet) Melfina (Outlaw Star), for Outlaw Melfina Duo Maxwell (Gundam Wing), for kout3uka Project Closed Upon Completion

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Wednesday, May 17, 2006

To Those who Wait Forever. . .

. . .For Ships That Don't Come In. Due to some personal matters, and my sister's birthday drawing, Sanosuke will be delayed at least another couple weeks. For those who haven't noticed, I turned off my guestbook. There's no fun in having one if the people who sign it aren't going to be welcome here in this community called MyOtaku. I lost two more signatures this week, so I'm not going to allow anyone else to sign my guestbook. I'll come up with a simple, easy alternative as soon as I can. And yes, I'm mad as a hornet right now. Comments: Outlaw Melfina I can remember all the way back to like 6th grade when teachers started pushing that whole "choose your career now" [Censored] on me. I didn't know what I wanted to do then, I'm 25 years old and don't know what I want to do now either. My passion is my art, but it won't pay the bills so I have to find a source of income, regardless of whether it's "what I want to do" or not. I hope you get a chance to try something unusual, but at any rate, be sure to look for inspiration in whatever work experience you seek, you never know what might come of it. Yeah, I know my picture is a little odd looking (she looks a bit young to me, but I already said that). I like the way the hair came out too, I took a chance with doing it that way, at least I know that works. Anime Dreams! Picture Requests Currently Working Cataloged for Later Finished Work Item Completed Item Completed Sanosuke (Rurouni Kenshin), for Caprice No Outstanding Art (Yet) Melfina (Outlaw Star), for Outlaw Melfina Duo Maxwell (Gundam Wing), for kout3uka Project Closed Upon Completion

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Friday, May 5, 2006

Ask Me and I Will Play

A light day for me, I've got to get busy on those projects if I want them done. I will try to have Sanosuke up with my next post, but I won't promise that he'll be here. I have a lot to do this weekend without considering the possibility of being called by one of three places where I've submitted job applications (I'm not holding my breath on any of them calling me though). Anyway, I goota go get to work on those pictures. Comments: Outlaw Melfina That's perfectly understandable, you get on when you can, and comment when you've got something to add. In case you didn't notice, I did get your picture done, click the link in the table below to see it. Mamma Vash: I picked up a couple applications yesterday, one from the very restaurant which didn't hire me only last year (This is the one where the interviewer admitted to me the job "isn't rocket science"). I can't really say right now if anything will come of them, I turned them in this morning, and now all I can do is wait. I know that feeling quite well actually, looking for a job has the same affect on me. Sometimes I get so discouraged by the lack of results I've gotten that I lose sight of the important things. It's easier to get distracted, and weighed down by negative things. I always know where my heart is, it's out there among the stars, plain and simple. That's not to say I don't get myself lost in my problems, I have done that. I've still got some big ones in the back of my mind right now, they won't go away till I can establish financial security for myself, but I am keeping them in check as best I can. Getting lost is easy, finding oneself again is hard, I speak from experience there. You can have all the motivation in the world and still not do it if you don't want it yourself. I'm glad to hear you want it, because that means you're so much closer to taming those nastly little demons, or at least putting them in a decent cage for now. You have a good one too, and if you need any more encouragement, I don't make myself hard to find. Oh, that's all right, I'll make do with a little Pocky. kout3uka I'm so happy to hear that. I actually forgot about the OVAs when I started checking the material I collected, so it was interesting for me to work up something based on slight differences in character design between the the series and OVAs. I can't speak on personality being there, I can only say I used an expression similar to what 90% of the reference material showed me. I think in all the pictures I collected and used for reference, I only saw three or four distinct expressions. Two down, one to go. Anime Dreams! Picture Requests Currently Working Cataloged for Later Finished Work Item Completed Duo Maxwell (Gundam Wing), for kout3uka Sanosuke (Rurouni Kenshin), for Caprice No Outstanding Art (Yet) Melfina (Outlaw Star), for Outlaw Melfina Duo Maxwell (Gundam Wing), for kout3uka

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Thursday, May 4, 2006

A Vision Softly Creeping

Keeping the streak alive, one post at a time. I don't really have much to say today, I'm going out for another round of job applications submitting, and I'm sure by now you all know how pleasant I get after such things. Comments: "Whispered in the Sounds. . .Of Silence" I guess. Anime Dreams! Okay, I'm testing the waters with somthing Napster is now offering, go to their webisite to get the details on this whole thing. The Sounds Of Silence Picture Requests Currently Working Cataloged for Later Finished Work Item Completed Duo Maxwell (Gundam Wing), for kout3uka Sanosuke (Rurouni Kenshin), for Caprice No Outstanding Art (Yet) Melfina (Outlaw Star), for Outlaw Melfina Duo Maxwell (Gundam Wing), for kout3uka

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Thursday, April 27, 2006

I Am Just a Poor Boy. . .

. . .Though My Story's Seldom Told. . . Couldn't resist a streak. For anyone out there in a creative slump with a story idea, a new member here on MyO, sailorXena, is offereing to help with that. Check her post on it Here if it's not on her front page. Comments: Mamma Vash: I may not be that old (only 25), but that song does have some special meaning to me, and its mood fit my post much more so than several others I could have chosen. ". . .A Winter's day. . .In a deep and dark December. . ." comes to mind right off the bat, but it's spring already, and that song is too dark for the mood of my previous post anyway. There's a lot going on with the art school, if I was mean and spiteful, I'd humiliate them by posting their name, but I'll just say they run a lot of commercials on TV, and once in a while the google text ads feature the link to their website. I don't know how much my relative will be out financially due to the school's cancelling my enrollment (the course total was something around $2000.00), and they've deliberately refused to acknowledge my request to get the submission artwork I provided upon enrollment with them back, which my relative isn't too happy about, but I guess I have to put some pressure on both fronts to get something done. If I was handling it myself (I can't in this case) I would have had the picture returned by now. I can get very nasty in my letters when someone tries to pull things with me. I think I'll tell the school to [Censored] off when everything is all sorted out, because they've wasted my time and energy that could have been spent honing my skill, not reteaching it from square one. As for my art style, I can easily brag it's pretty much self taught. I looked up stuff online, I asked people here and on message boards the right questions, and I listened to their answers. I know it's a bit crude by comparison to some of the artists here, but I have a long way to go. Now, there are a lot of areas within paranormal photography, photographing auras and energies (Kirlian photogragphy) is only one little area, one I know nothing about except that it requires a specialized camera, which I don't have. Most often, people who do paranormal photography are following the principle that the camera sometimes picks up things that the human eye can't see. Photos are taken of an area known to, or thought to, be haunted with the idea that some manner of energy, be it orbs (not considered great evidence do to the number of natural objects reflecting light that can look like them), smokelike ectoplasmic mists (often not seen by the photgrapher when the picture is taken), and the best evidence, full body apparitions (rarely seen in "authenticated" photographs). I got one Orb in one picture, nothing else, but my sister gets some unusual visual distortions in a lot of her pictures. It's not difficult to do in terms of actual work, but paranormal photography requires a couple things, research, discipline, enthusiasm, and Public Relations. Many people forget that, and get into trouble taking pictures where they have no right to be (just because a place is abandoned doesn't mean you can go right in unannounced. Private property is that, plain and simple. Ask the owners first, some may be willing to humor you, some may not, if you're told no, find someplace else to take pictures). I live a stone's throw from a local hospital, that's how deep in town life I'm stuck. There's nothing walking distance away from me, save a river access point that's not really worth taking pictures of, it's that boring. Although I could take a picture from the middle of the bridge over troubled wa- I mean the Ohio River which would be different. But pictures of dirty, mucky, disgusting, smelly rivers aren't all that interesting, are they? It's nothing a good stiff drink won't cure (joking!). Actually as much as I take the bad stuff to heart, I take the good stuff more so, and your support is already starting to do wonders for my spirits. The kind words are much appreciated. Anime Dreams! Picture Requests Currently Working Cataloged for Later Finished Work Item Complete Item Complete Sanosuke (Rurouni Kenshin), for Caprice No Outstanding Art (Yet) Melfina (Outlaw Star), for Outlaw Melfina Duo Maxwell (Gundam Wing), for kout3uka

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Wednesday, April 26, 2006

Still Crazy . . .

I'm continuing my work on the other pictures, I do hope to have them up really soon, please be patient with me a little longer, a week at the most, then you can start yelling at me for being slow. Comments: Mamma Vash: Well, I'm learning Shogi, but it's debatable as to how well I'm doing. I think I'd learn better with a physical board, but I have to stick with software for now. I'm not far enough along to really explain it, but here's a page on how to play Shogi that is sure to answer some basic questions about it for you. I never get lost in nature, but I enjoy its company. As for favorite places or things to photograph, well, I haven't found my sweet spot yet since I live in town and being amaxophobic, only get to go out to the hiking trails when someone else is willing to drive. I do some paranormal investigative photography but that's something I advise amateurs against doing without researching the proper protocol first. Property owners, and the relatives of deceased persons, are not too forgiving of unprofessional enthusiats tresspassing just to take pictures of things hoping to capture activity. I will, once I get back into the habit of walking the trails again, have pictures, hopefully of some railroad bridges and tunnels, the pictures I was supposed to get last year and didn't because I'm willing to walk, but no one would take me out to the trail head. kout3uka I know, I'm glad to have gotten one up by now, which makes getting the others up easier, shouldn't it? I'm taking way too long on them, but that's an issue I need to work out with myself. I've taken a few risky pictures in my day. I once stood less than a foot from a straight down drop to get a good picture of the view below, I also sat right under a "Devil's Teatable" rock formation (a large flat rock teetering on the tiny point of a pillar type rock) to get a good picture of the underside of the table rock. I have a picture of an "Authorized Personel Only Beyond This Point" sign (Absolutely not, I will not post that one online!). I took a picture standing on the edge of a riverboat's berth in a town south of me, knowing that I wouldn't be able to save myself if I fell in the river (I can't swim). It's NOT crazy to go out taking pictures of the natural environment, but it's NUTS, not to mention dangerous, to go out at take the kinds of shots I've done without being remotely smart in the process. I don't recommend anyone go out and try the stupid stunts I have just to get a "cool shot" type picture like I do. I call myself a TPI (that's Trained Professional Idiot) for that very reason, and I disclaim everything I do that's even slightly outside the realms of safety because I think I know what I'm doing, and won't be held responsible for people duplicating my actions. Editorial: "Where is my dragon art?" That is a question I asked myself some time ago, and with new inquiries about how the art is coming along, a public revisit to one of my personal self-evaluations is in order. Looking over my first real attempt at drawing a dragon, I still see those cartoony, cute elements that I was trying to remove from my style, as well as a host of newer, more complex artistic challenges which must be overcome in order to give my art the harder, more fierce look I want it to have. I see in my first dragon art, where I am now, where I want to be, and how I need to get there, but seeing it is only a small part of the whole process. Now, I take a look at several incompleted attempts at dragons, mostly just roughed out circles, ellipses, and curved lines. On one, a partly finished nose, another, a crude claw that looks hairy with all the pencil lines growing out of it from many reshape attempts and the start of a pair of wings sprouting out of the rough oval, unfinished body. The outline of a head and body, darkened against the light pencil rough out gets my attention on another, and I wonder to myself, "Why didn't I finish this one? What made me stop?" The answer to both those questions came in the form of the same letter back in early February. See, I was taking this art correspondence course, and I say "was" for a reason. They got it in their heads to "discontinue service", something about money, which a relative was paying for the course, so that's not my problem (they haven't contacted that relative yet to my knowledge). The thing is, they've damaged my confidence and trust, which has filtered over to my personal projects, making them suffer greatly as a result. Aside from that, I got myself caught up in another round of pontless battles with Workforce West Virgina (oversees the Job Service now). That wouldn't have been so bad if every step of the way I wasn't made to feel like I was the problem, I even had the "Staff Assistant" to a US Senator imply I was the root of the problem with WOrkforce West Virginia. I was discriminated against based on my inability to provide "professional" references, and at least five of the people I went to for help turned that discrimiation around on me, making it my fault in the first place. In many ways, I know I need to spend my time focused on these other things, but that's another topic for another day, and my art has been my passion for over two years now, so I really want to put time into improving it. So what does all that mean? Why is any of that important? Well, it boils down to how I feel, and in the past few months I have not felt very good about myself as an artist. Normally, I would use my art, my creativity to get myself out of a slump, but I've been unable to do that this time. Where I'm normally cheered up by creating, but I haven't been lately. I've lacked the motivation to work on my art, which is the primary cause of my continuing delays to get my art projects finished and presented. It means I've had to decide which is more important to me right now to get done, and my own dragon isn't. Simply put, I've put drawing my dragon on indefinite hold, at least until I get the pictures that were requested of me done, and one project that's kind of personal on a different level. My sister's birthday is coming up, so I've decided to try and draw her a griffin, she's as nuts for them as I am for dragons. She's put up with a lot of my negative energy this past year, so the least I can do is use what little talent I have to give her something she'll really enjoy. After I get all that done, I will revisit my dragon attempts, and try to salvage one into something that looks like the dragon I want, until then, it's not coming. Anime Dreams! Picture Requests Currently Working Cataloged for Later Finished Work Item Completed Duo Maxwell (Gundam Wing), for kout3uka Sanosuke (Rurouni Kenshin), for Caprice No Outstanding Art (Yet) Melfina (Outlaw Star), for Outlaw Melfina

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Monday, April 24, 2006

Once Begun is Half Done

One down two to go in the picture department. 150 characters isn't enough to say everything needed sometimes. Anyway, check the chart below my post for what's done, and what still needs to be done. I hope to have one or both of the others up this week sometime if I can mange it. Only time will tell. Oh, my title today comes from Mary Poppins, it's the name of the game ". . .Otherwise entitled: Let's tidy up the Nursery." Comments: Outlaw Melfina I used to live out in the midwest (Texas to be specific), which is pretty much flat. They call that area of the US Tornado Alley on the news for a reason, because violent summer storms are so frequent there, there's many tornadoes each and every year. I've been away from that for well, 15 or 16 years now, so I'm gradually becoming used to lightning and thunder, but wind still rattles my nerves once in a while. It is strange that I didn't let that storm get to me, but I guess I'm changing on that front too. Shogi is actually a little more complex that Western Chess in terms of piece promotion, move patterns(they change when a piece is promoted) and overall style, which is something I find more challenging to play, and I don't get quite so upset with myself when I lose, because I know I'm still learning the game and computers are little demons themselves when it comes to playing strategy games. I was never one to get caught up in all that celebrity nonsense. I don't watch movies, TV, or listen to music because it's "popular" I stick with what I enjoy, and don't give a [Censored] what anyone else thinks. There have been times people have capitalized on that, especially in school, but I don't give those losers the time of day when I see them on the street anymore either. Turnabout is fair play is it not? Chabichou I do appreciate the value of nature myself, I like to go on hikes when I can, I've got a trail that was an old railroad track running pretty much through town, and I like to go walking out on it. I haven't come to any of the tunnels yet (there are 22 on the 70+ mile trail) but I'll get to one really soon if I can push myself (it's about two miles in from an access point, a good hour's walk). Of course I enjoy a light rain too, I liketo sit back and listen to it pelting the roof above, thunder and lightning are things to behold once in a while too, but it's high winds that tend to get to me mentally. I'm a sucker for snow too especially snow that's falling at night, it's very poetic, but I can't ever get the mood right when I try to set a scene I'm writing in snow. Eventually I'll get it, I just have to find the magic word flow that takes the mind on that journey. I also should mention that I'm one of those insanely stupid people who go outside with my camera to take pictures of storm clouds (even when it's not smart to do so). That one is from a storm just a day prior to the one I let myself soak in. There wasn't a lot of sound and fury with the pictured storm, but as you can see it was nice and dark that afternoon. Anime Dreams! Picture Requests Currently Working Cataloged for Later Finished Work Item Completed Duo Maxwell (Gundam Wing), for kout3uka Sanosuke (Rurouni Kenshin), for Caprice No Outstanding Art (Yet) Melfina (Outlaw Star), for Outlaw Melfina

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Saturday, April 15, 2006

Shadows in the Sky

I had a storm come though last night, it was actually pleasant for a change. Normally storms like that get into my head and kind of freak me out, but last night was different. Upon taking the time to actually sit back and watch the storm unfold, I found a quiet enjoyment in nature for a change. I wish I had a digital camera that was quick enough to get a picture of a bolt of lightning, that would be an amazing background for anything, and I think I just inspired myself, we'll have to see. When I get off of here, I'm going to sit myself down and try to get those pictures done, I've been putting them off for too long now. Comments: Outlaw Melfina Shogi, like Western Chess, is very complicated to explain without numerous visual aides, of which I have none to use. It has to be taught through play, like any other game of strategy. Here is the page of a freeware shogi program that includes a bunch of variants that even I don't have. Modern Shogi is the one I'm learning to play right now, if you go to look for it on the list of variants at the bottom of the page. I'm not the kind of person to generalize quite that much and hate the world because of a few self absorbed ignorants. I use my personal experience, and my intuition guide my choices and beliefs, and right now both of those are telling me every fiber of my being is strongly opposed to pretty much everything this state I was beginning to believe I could call home encompasses. There's an old saying "home is where the heart is", well, after being treated as poorly as I have been by the people I turned to for help, my heart is anywhere but here in West Virginia. And I won't even get started on celebrities. Caprice Federal minimum wage is $5.15 an hour, been that way since September 1, 1997. Only the states that don't get Government funding can have a lower minimum wage (I'm looking across the river at you Ohio) than that. And in no realm, real or fantasy, is pocket change enough for the work involved with cleaning hotel rooms. Think about it this way is it worth $5.15 to clean three whole rooms? That's making six beds, cleaning three bathtubs, three shower walls, three bathroom floors, three toilets, three sinks, polishing three dressers, three tables, three nightstands (assuming one per room), cleaning six mirrors (assumes two per room), dusting lamps, picture frames, headboards, TVs, AC/Heater units, and window ledges, and vacuuming three carpets. For the record, that means a housekeeper would have to average up to but no more than 20 minutes per room. $7.00 an hour for housekeeping would be better, but here in hillbilly Hell, the people writing the checks don't see it that way. The head housekeeper I worked under would absolutely cringe to hear anyone talk of "shortcuts". She was a stickler for doing things right, and had ways of knowing when things weren't done correctly, it was uncanny. The best lesson of all to the shortcut prone housekeepers who took the shortcuts and didn't check under the beds in their rooms like they were supposed to was this: I found a hundred dollar bill under one bed (did the right thing and turned it in to the hotel manager, no one claimed it after three months, so I got to keep it). That was an intersting lesson to teach without even expecting to be a teacher in the first place. Isn't life funny that way? I can only comment on the OtakuBowl from an intellectual standpoint, since I didn't vote in it at all, and intellectually, I'm not really in the mood to comment on the outcome of the OtakuBowl. "In my experience there's no such thing as luck." - Ben Kenobi; Star Wars I think that sums up my current feelings on the matter. I'm not so sure I can believe in luck anymore. As for finding work, well I'll be holding my breath and counting the minutes till I do find something. Drawing and writing are just about the only things that do bring me contentment these days. Not much else seems to offer that anymore. Anime Dreams! Picture Requests Currently Working Cataloged for Later Finished Work Melfina (Outlaw Star), for Outlaw Melfina Duo Maxwell (Gundam Wing), for kout3uka Sanosuke (Rurouni Kenshin), for Caprice No Outstanding Art (Yet) No completed works (yet)

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Thursday, April 13, 2006

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Caprice Thank you for the compliment to my work, and simply put, I write from the heart, and my best poetic expressions come when I'm in a cheerful mood, of which I haven't had in a while. My writing isn't limited though to poems, I write in terms of Message Board Role Playing, and lots of sci-fi style stories that I haven't decided what to do with yet. Then you know that kind of work is worth a lot more than $5.15 an hour (Minimum wage - also the going rate for hotel housekeepers here in He--, I mean West Virginia.). The ignorants running the hotels who've probably never cleaned a day in their lives don't realize just how complicated it is to clean 3 two twin bed rooms in one hour. Even the Head Housekeeper at the hotel, who'd been doing housekeeping jobs as far back as her first job, was barely able to get rooms done that quick. In the past few months I've had more people ask me where my work experience is, and what my interests regarding that high school sham called a career are. In order, I have one summer's experience at a hotel doing a little of everything, and my interestes in any other facet of possible employment are with artistic areas, because my hobbies are in the arts. About finding work, I don't need luck, I just need the work. I thank you for your patience, I only fear that due to my neglect the pictures won't be nearly as good as they should be when I do get them done. I've only been doing little tiny bits at time which is no real way to get something like this done. I'll just have to wait and see myself I guess. I know, I know, I feel terrible that I missed the whole thing. I did see the results the other day, not to my liking, but that's my own fault for not getting on to vote. A small technical credit would be enough, all I did was help refine a few of your existing ideas in the planning stage. Outlaw Melfina In order: I know, I'll try to keep up with things for a while. Resumes and hotels, all stuff I'm not really interested in speaking of right now. There's an old saying "ignorance is bliss" I refuse to believe that. Ignorance is an excuse for people to be mentally lazy. The "art" classes I took that weren't required (and way back in Junior High) were Theatre, and I loved every minute of that. I didn't do so well in my 7th and 8th grade art classes, which is a surprise considering how much better I do now. I guess i just needed the right motivation. I don't have as much fun doing it as I used to, I guess when the Karma started cojming back on me, sadism lost it's edge. I still make it a point to make a person who makes me miserable feel the same way though. Greedy is right I'm relieved that it worked, the set-up is kind of bizarre for that MIDI file, so I wasn't sure if it would play at all, but I had to chance it. I have a low bitrate file (I think it's like 31kbps - not very good sounding anyway) that's actually the full version of the song, but I dont know how to write up the code to embed the windows media player onto my page here (I found three conflicting html codes for the same embedded player) and I used the MIDI file to save this website from any possibility of repercussion due to the unauthorised use of copyrighted material, I do want to do things right by the law, even if I don't fully agree with it. "Don't try to be a great man, just be a man, and let history make it's own judgements." That line is credited to Dr. Zephram Cochrane in Star Trek, First Contact. The term "famous" is just something the media and celebrities use to be able to say "I'm better than you" which is the biggest crock of crap on the planet. You never know what you might learn by reading the average Joe's stuff, poets and dreamers arent usually found on the stage, screen, or arena, but are found in the back rooms and side streets just doing what they love to do. I'm one of those poets and dreamers, and very few people have ever heard of me so far, and I'd like to keep it that way for a while. Japanese Chess. Mamma Vash: Things have been going, though in some cases not as well as I'd like. I'm hanging in there as best I can though. All things that come from the heart carry some measure of beauty to them, but thank you for saying so anyway. On being published, I really don't know where to look to get published, and my poetry isn't the focal point of my writing efforts, I do short fiction stuff that I would be much more interested in seeing in print. In my case though, I think I'd have to opt for self publishing if I want to get them out in the way I intend them to be read. It's a thought I'm seriously considering with the way things are going in the job market these days. Those demons of the mind are driven away by rain, the sound of waves, Gregorian Chants, and Native American flute music, or any combination of the above. If you've got the mental fortitude and want to bore the little guys to death, meditation will get rid of them every time. The sketches are slow in coming mostly because I've been busy with other things, and I've not been in the right frame of mind to work on them. I'm going to make myself do some major work this weekend, hopefully I can get at leaast one finished. I won't know till the weekend's over how it went, I want it to be calm and peaceful, contentment comes from those things. I'll keep my mind open and hope forthe best. Editorial: It's official now, as of 10:20am EDT, I absolutely hate the state of West Virginia. After all the insults added to the original injury with the whole Job service thing, I have to conclude that by nature West Virginian's do not know how to take responsibility for something I took a phone call this morning, it was the office of the Senator I contacted month ago regarding this Job service issue. the person I spoke with there did the exact same thing the Job Service manager, and my case manager, and the lead case manager did to me, shifted the burden of responsibility to my shoulders implying through dialogue and reaction that it was my fault the problem hadn't been resolved, that somehow, I was to blame for the whole situation and that they would not do anything to assist me beyond telling me what I should do for myself. I have never met so many people in such a hurry to pass the buck to someone else. I've never seen so many people work their hardest to NOT be the person to have to handle a serious issue. So many people so eager to tell others what to do and how to do it, yet they don't want to be anywhere near a negative issue because they might get blamed for the issue not resolving correctly. I'd like to at least see someone try to resolve the issue. If the people of this living nightmare of a state want to be so self centered and ignorant, more power to them. The choice made by the Silent Hill movie people to set their fictional town in West Virginia is an excellent one, this state is that hellish nightmare world, so that movie wouldn't be too far from the truth in that regard. Anime Dreams! Picture Requests Currently Working Cataloged for Later Finished Work Melfina (Outlaw Star), for Outlaw Melfina Duo Maxwell (Gundam Wing), for kout3uka Sanosuke (Rurouni Kenshin), for Caprice No Outstanding Art (Yet) No completed works (yet)

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Tuesday, April 11, 2006

Golden Fingers Dance Through Tranquil Waves

It's been way too long since I posted here, I've been really busy working on those pictures, and trying to gain some sort of focus on how to handle my employment situation. Still not done on either front. The scariest thing about my employment situation is that, in going over my résumé, I discovered that it's so short I can fit all of the important information on a 2" by 3½" sized card, in layman's terms, a business card. That doesn't bode well for my prospects of employment, but it means I can carry around my résumé with me at all times. I have decided on a course of action, but it's a last resort since I don't really like the thought of it. I did a little work as a hotel housekeeper and maintenance person back in 2000, but to only get minimum wage for that kind of work isn't worth the physical strain it puts on the body, so I'll only go back to it if I have absolutely no other options left open. Doing that kind of work would also mean much less time for my art, which I would hate to see suffer for not being able to develop it the way I want. I know I promised pictures with this post, but I'm still not finished with them. I will try to have them up as soon as possible. Comments: Mamma Vash: March 4, 2006 entry comment response Or in this case, minimizing the file size of artwork. I don't recall the session number, but I believe it's Ganymede Elegy that you're referring to with Jet and his former girlfriend. I know the episode, and just over the weekend of March 11 I was able to hear the song when that episode aired. I think I'll have to retake that quiz though, I was hoping for a tune with a little more bite to it than Waltz for Zizi affords my personality. Sure I like mellow stuff, but I'm not all sentimental and emotional when it comes to that inner soundtrack of my life. March 8, 2006 entry comment response Yeah, I had to take the time off to keep my sanity. I'd been having horrible luck replacing a universal remote control (I need it to run my TV the stock remote wore out three or four years ago), and I've had a lot of stuff on my mind besides that too. Now that I've gotten those demons under control, I think I'll be fine for a little while anyway. On the idea of using my post title "Secrets Whispered in Midnight Rain" as the cornerstone to a poem, well, I can only say: Softly, stealthily, melt into shadow, Laughing, singing, dance in light. Running, flying, commune with the sky, Soaring, dreaming, wrapped up in the stars. Splashing beat echoes turbulent heart, Burden of guilt murmured within. Have to fade into memories past, Must disappear into liquid night. All around the secrets of night are told, in soft spirited voices, and sirens' song. None hides from the whispers, None hides from the truth. Not one of my better ones, but the little poetry demon in me just had to get that out. See, the people around me inspire me in all sorts of ways without even realizing it. Mysterious Rei March 4, 2006 entry comment response: That's all right, not many people play these days. Outlaw Melfina March 4, 2006 entry comment response: It's tough to find a PC Chess game that's actually dumb-downable, which is important for beginners, or those people like myself who haven't played in a while and want to get back into playing. I did find a good program that, after tweaking the settings, is about an even match for me (our records are similar in wins, losses, and draws), but it's still not quite the same as playing a real person. Teaching Chess is hard, but learning it isn't. I think most people are afraid to learn Chess because it looks very complicated with all the different pieces and move patterns, but once you know that stuff, playing is a fun challenge. I used to be in the Chess club at my Junior High school, then for about two or three months at my High school (Interesting enough, we met on Thursdays), don't ask why I left, I'll just say the club and I didn't agree on some important things. To be truly artistic, one has to keep a calm mind, which I've had a tough time doing lately. Sometimes it helps to put the art down and do something else. Now if I could only convince myself to pick it up again, that would be great. I'm only sadistic to those who cross me. I keep a couple Shakespeare plays on hand, Hamlet and Macbeth, both of which have numerous sayings that are part of the vernacular of the English speaking world, yet few people are aware of where they came from. Some modern variations of Shakespeare would have to include "be true to yourself" Which comes from Hamlet "To thine own self be true" and someone saying there's "a method to my madness" is also borrowing from Hamlet "though this be madness, yet there is method in it." Without modern variation (and morbid if understood in context) would be "Sweets to the Sweet." Romeo and Juliet has a lot of phrases that are in common vernacular these days too, but I don't know any off hand. No one has a real idea how frustrated I'm getting with these so called retail establishments. If they'd actually carry what the customers want, the customers would continue to return to them. What I don't understand about the whole thing is why a store (like Best Buy, FYE, Circuit City, Suncoast, and Wal-Mart) will carry animé but not the soundtracks that go with the show. How is that good business? Don't they think that if a customer likes the show, chances are they'll like the music that goes with it too? That's right, I forgot, they don't think with their heads, they think with their wallets, and not very good to boot. Well, I'm unique that way in my animé tastes, I seem to like the older stuff as well as the newer, and anything with Studio Ghibli's name on it is good, but I still haven't been able to find Grave of the Fireflies which I hear is one of the best animated films of all time. Princess Mononoke is one of those films that most people should see a couple times to get all the subtle nuances of the film, even I don't think I got everything from the few times I watched it. I recommend doing that for all Studio Ghibli films, I've watched Spirited Away at least eight times and I still see new stuff in it every time. Oh yeah, "Zankoku na Tenshi no Teize" ("Cruel Angel's Thesis") is a great tune, I like listening to that one too, but I have to tread softly when looking for that kind of thing online these days, my ISP isn't too forgiving on that front. Give my "Current Song" button a click, and hope it works, I think you'll like my current selection. March 8, 2006 entry comment response Who doesn't like to read a bit of juicy stuff about someone else? I would have written about what was going on, but I don't always have the best communication skills when I'm stressed out. I'm still out of sorts mentally to the point going into detail would only irritate me. Caprice March 8, 2006 entry comment response Thank you for the continuing motivation, I do appreciate it. We all have those days, in my case, weeks, when things just don't really want to go right for us, and when that happens, the best thing to do is stop, walk away, and rest before letting them take over. After taking some time off, approach the main points and work at them one by one until all areas of chaos are under control. My demons are usually well behaved, but they've been acting up lately, so I had to give them my undivided attention for a while, and I hope I've taught them that they don't want to mess with me too much, I'll kick their butts every time. "Whispers in the Midnight Rain" is actually a partial from the title of my previous post (March 4, 2006) "Secrets Whispered in Midnight Rain" And to my knowledge it's my own. For my posts, I try to pick a random visual snapshot, something I see in my head, or can recall from memory, and turn that into a word portrait to set the mood for my posts. Ninety percent of what I use as lines for the titles of my posts are my own word portraits, but I do borrow once in a while, and try to credit them when I do. As you can see from my response to Mamma Vash, I liked the idea of poetically expressing that one line's atmosphere. I'm in love with that setting, a soft rain falling in the darkness of night, no thunder, no heavy wind, just the whispering, soothing rain. Many of my stories have at least one scene, if they're not completely set, in a soft summer night's rain. There's a supernatural, zen quality to that kind of atmosphere. The next time you're awake at night and it's raining like that, a gentle, light rain falling, put on a coat and go outside for a few minutes, open your mind, and listen, you'd be surprised what the rain will tell you if you only listen to its whispers. Random Fact About Me: I'm learning to play Shogi. Anime Dreams! Picture Requests Currently Working Cataloged for Later Finished Work Melfina (Outlaw Star), for Outlaw Melfina Duo Maxwell (Gundam Wing), for kout3uka Sanosuke (Rurouni Kenshin), for Caprice No Outstanding Art (Yet) No completed works (yet)

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