Saturday, April 3, 2004

   Thank You

I wan to thank those who made suggestions to me. I'm still taking them, but I want to pause a moment to thank the first responders for humoring me at least. I know I tend to be a bit on the unbearable side at times, whining and complaining about things that get me down. Even I don't think of myself as an adult at times, I sure don't act like one. I'm taking what has been suggested already under advisement, and looking into some things on a local level. Maybe something will turn up this time that I missed before. Having new perspectives on the matter are helpful. I'm not feeling all that well at the moment, I think I just pushed myself way to hard again these past few days, trying to get several projects done all at once. I have at least two offline drawings I need to get started this weekend, so I'm not even done yet. I don't know why I take on too much at once, but I do, it's the curse of generosity. When someone asks me to draw a character, I do it, because up until recently I didn't think anyone around me(my family, I don't have any real life friends, just the internet ones) took me seriously when I started into this world of anime art. I'm just happy they think I'm capable of doing what they want the justice it deserves. I've got ot get some rest so I can get up and get started tomorrow morning, I know I'll have them tonight for sure. Anime Dreams All. ¥ CosmicSailor

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Friday, April 2, 2004

   I'm Not Joking

I was not joking when I made my post yesterday asking for help on how to get my paper art images digitized for possible submission. A lot of pranks were pulled, including some sites claiming they were shut down or under investigation by the government. My post here wasn't one of them. I take my art very seriously, and need a way to get my hand drawn pictures onto my computer so I can submit them here. I'll run the specs again just in case. I have no USB ports, no scanner, and no friends/relatives I can go to on this one and need to get my art drawn on paper digitized so that I can submit them here. I'll appreciate any suggestions, tips, hints, whatever. I'm asking, one artist to another, is there a way to do it? Thanks in advance again for any helpful information. Anime Dreams. ¥ CosmicSailor

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Thursday, April 1, 2004

No Rest for the Weary

Just stopped in on my way to do other things. Got a lot to get done by the start of the week. Anyway, on to the important stuff. I have a couple pictures drawn out on paper that I'd like to try and submit, but I'm at a loss as to how to get that done. I don't have a scanner myself, this old computer I'm on doesn't even have the USB ports needed to hook one up. I'd go the friend route, but being an antisocial in person, I don't exactly have any to ask. That leaves me with two options, don't submit, or ask for help coming up with a way to submit. I chose the latter knowing that the varried minds seeing this should be able to come up with something. I'm asking as one artist to others, please help me come up with a way to submit my better art, and thanks in advance for the suggestions. ¥ CosmicSailor

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Wednesday, March 31, 2004

Prelude to Chaos, in A minor

Wow, the numbers for the site(as posted on theotaku.com) look pretty good and deserve special commendations. That's a lot of pictures, wallpapers, and greetings. The artists deserve a thank you for this one. Moving on to other things. The talk of new features has me interested, as I at least try out the features as they come. Though some I don't use for long(I'll be bringing a midi back soon, don't know when but soon). I'm looking forward to the new stuff. I'm especially interested in the customization and cleaner look stuff that will be coming. Who knows could get interesting. Moving on again. I've had the time to complete an offline drawing project, I'd like to post it here, but offline means I drew it on paper and since I don't have a scanner at the moment, I'm out of luck. I like the way it turned out, and am wracking my brian for a way to get it digitized so I can do stuff with it, like make it better(colored pencils and I don't always get along) and try to post it. That's a bridge to cross when I get there, in the mean time, I'll have to settle for Paint and Pixia. I'm off to get to work on that drawing project I announced earlier, it will be a long while before its ready. Anime Dreams ¥ CosmicSailor

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   The color is back!!!

I've brought back the colors and they are just how I want them. I like the way they look together, and they say something about me, but I won't say what that is. I may do some tweaking to get the link hover a little brighter, and maybe tone down the headings a little, but other than that, It'll stay like this. I'm tired of holding on to the anger, it's not worth it to me. That calls attention to my avatar, which is still lacking in color. He will remain cold and dark until one of my works of original art(not the replication of an existing character) is accepted again. I did have one work up(it was a replication piece), but a lack of interest in it caused me to take it down a while ago. I said I'd announce the start of my next project, so here it is. I will begin a new drawing on my computer after a couple hours of sleep. I will not say anything more that that, because I expect it to take me a while to get it done in the first place. When I think it's done, that means it won't be, and I'll put more time into it to make it of acceptance standards. Well, that about does it for me tonight. I'll annnounce the drawing when its completed, and will try not to mention it any other time. Let's see if I can get lady Luck to be on my side for once. Anime Dreams ¥CosmicSailor

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Tuesday, March 30, 2004

One Day Later, The Aftermath of Destruction, The Prelude to Chaos

I'm beginning to bring color back as I promised. The first step has been taken with color in the text(It may not stay this shade of green but it's a start), and I'll soon have the other colors decided. I've constructed a mock up of my page, and am currently running it through various color combos to see what works and what doesn't. When I'm happy with the test page, I'll make the official changes here. I've calmed down considerably since yesterday, had time to sleep off the frustrations. I'm more sure than ever that I made the right decision regarding the board. I got some information from someone about about an incident that occured two weeks or so ago (about the time I took my break from here). He told me that part of it was actually done by the admins of the board rather than the scapegoats they tried to blame. That's a long story I'd rather not get into because that would be a dead give away for anyone possibly on that board who might be here as well. I've looked at the situation closely, going over my convictions, and sense of honor, and decided that there was nothing else I could do. If I didn't stand up for what I believed in by making the boldest statement I could make, I would have been on the same level of cowardice that those admins are. They don't want to enforce, nor abide by the rules they set for everyone on the board. It's a favorites game, htey respect their friends even when they break the rules, and when someone they don't like breaks the same rule, its crack down hard on him. I won't have any part of that now that I left, but I didn't like it when I was there. Yesterday's conversation with the one admin cemented my decision to go. Well, If I can manage to get the colors chosen today, I'll have them back up tonight, maybe tomorrow. Anime Dreams ¥CosmicSailor

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Monday, March 29, 2004

   Venting Steam

This post has nothing to do with the changes to the site I mentioned, nor will I discuss my art this time. This one is just something I have to say about other things. I'm a role player on several boards. I do it to explore my creative writing abilities and to just have fun doing it. Today I had to leave one of those boards, permanently. It started this weekend when a friend of mine, a mod on the board was removed from his position. He tried to get a straight answer, and none of the administrators would give him one. I got into a conversation about the problem to one of the admins today, and what he told me led me to believe that the problem had to deal with my friend objecting to a double standard in the rules, letting the admins get away with not following some of the foundation rules of the board. When pressed further, the admin I was in communication with said he questioned the validity of the double standard he had a part in enforcing, making the whole thing a double-double standard. That did it for me, I had to leave. If the admins don't have to follow the rules of the board. If the admins can't be sure of the rules they are there to enforce. That is a board I have no time for, nor place on. When it comes right down to it though, I'm not sure that excuse was fully the reason my friend's position was stripped. It makes no sense to me that something that trivial would bring about so strong a reprimand. Now I have a theory that came up which might be a more reasonable explanation. My friend is more of an RP fighter, and he gets intense with his characters and the way he fights. He has been in several OOC(Out Of Character for those that don't RP) arguments with a powerplayer who's too stubborn to admit he's wrong over the past few weeks. Just the other night an admin got involved with a rather heated post, with good reason. I mean my friend and the powerplayer were squabbling like spoiled children. Anyway, the admin who made the post telling both of them off resigned his position a day later. The circumstances surrounding that make more sense to me as being the the root cause of my friend losing his position. If the admin would have told me the whole truth, I probably would still be a member of that board. I will disappoint a few people who like the way I role play. My story RPs are apparently pretty good. I hate to do that to them, but I'm sure in a day or so I'll have emails flooding my inbox asking me what the h*ll is going on and why did I leave and all that. I'll tell the truth, that I didn't like what was happening, and if they want to make something of it to talk to the admin,[name withheld, I'm not that spiteful, though he doesn't deserve my kindness], who tried to justify a double standard with feined ignorance, and didn't even give me the full truth. Well, that's my rant, Anime Dreams ¥Cosmicsailor Legalish Notice: Before anyone goes and thinks I'm talking about myself, GET THAT IDEA OUT OF YOUR HEAD RIGHT NOW. I'm not providing the usernames of anyone involved on that board for the following reasons: 1) Anyone not on that board would not know who I was refering to in the first place. 2) Anyone here could also be on that board, and not like that I'm talking about it in so negative a manner. 3) I won't be responsible for people finding the board through search engines and making trouble for them just because they got the wrong impression from me here on this site.

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   Deeper Thoughts From a Wasteland Mind

I've given some serious thought to the kind words I have been given in the past couple days, and think maybe I should give it another chance. What it boils down to is this: I'll try several more times to make submissions, and if they all fail, then I'll be more than upset, with good reason. I have a short temper, which is probably what spoke the loudest in my previous posts. I am more subdued right now, and thinking clearly about what I should do next to get an acceptance, not a rejection. I don't do existing characte well, so I'd like to try an original anime submission, but that project is a while off yet, I have too much on my plate now as it is. I'll indicate in a post when I've started the work, and when I finish it. SInce it'sin the concept stages at this time, there is no risk in my mentioning that much anyway. I'm tired from holding on the the anger for two weeks or more now, so I need to rest up before I even thing about artwork for anything. Anime Dreams, ~Comicsailor

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Sunday, March 28, 2004

Bulletin

I've decided to make some changes to the site, since it does no one any good to be horribly consumed by their own personal battles. I don't know what results will look like, but I know they won't be so dark and plain. I'll bring back featured quizes as well so there the page lookes interesting again, and not all boring. I've given some thought to my avatar, wondering if I should bring back it's color, cange it to something else, or leave it as is for the time being. I've decided to leave it as is for now, as a representtation of what my honor as an online artist has become, cold, indifferent, and uninterested. I suppose I could try again, and submit something, but I'm wondering what's the use if evey time I make a submission I get nothing to show for the work I put into the pics. This is where I get frustrated, trying to reason out what someone else is thinking when they see my pics and decide they aren't post worthy. I can't improve my art to make it here if I don't know what's wrong with it in the first place. If I could understand whatever artistic criteria exists for art submissions(I'm aware of the image size and data amount specs, all my works have fallen well below the maximum numbers), I'd be able to take my art in the direction it needs to go to be accepted. Well, I did it again. Started to talk about one thing and ended up on my art. I don't know why I hold on to things like that for so long, but I do. Well, I've got a lot of work to do to get this page looking a little brighter. Anime Dreams, ~Cosmicsailor

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Saturday, March 27, 2004

   Back on the Soapbox, It's not Bad This Time!

I'm not so down today, I have my reasons. In truth, the simplest of gestures can make a difference to someone like me, and one has done just that. I wonder how I could come back from a break and get this stressed out already. It's only been about two weeks, and I'm already planning my next one for July sometime. I'll know more whe nthe time comes, that's all on that. (Yes this section is about my art again, I'm horridly obsessive aren't I?) As matters of principle and honor, I made a choice not to submit artwork here anymore. I'm going to stand by that, only because I feel I have been insulted as my submissions fail to gain acceptance, while others of similar quality are accepted. I've cleared all the technical hurdles involved, so that only leaves the personel equation, how many people look at it to determine postworthiness? That is the variable behind this that I can't ever get right, so I'm giving up on the problem altogether. If I had a little more heart I'd try again, but after spening about two weeks on that last pic, I just can't do it again. (Done ranting about art) I'm taking a long hard look at myself, still thinking I'm the community loser and all, but I think that mentality comes from my days in school being the outcast loser for my being smarter than those around me. It's a dirty habit, but I'm not ready to let go of it until I have tangible proof of success. I'm not easily convinced anymore, when something takes that much out of a heart, it's hard to just change or go on as normal. I'll continue to to try to understand who I am, and where I want to go, but I can't promise miracles here. I tried one once and it didn't work out. Anyway that's my soapbox rant for the day, Anime Dreams, ~Cosmicsailor

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