I've been a member of theotaku.com and myotaku.com since August 30, 2008. I've had highs, and I've had lows, I think everyone who's been a member here has had both good and bad times. In just about every case, the good has outweighed the bad. In the months leading up to the relaunch and introduction of the "Version Vibrant" system on theotaku.com, I followed the developments as best I could, and reported those in my blog, for no reason other than to keep fellow otaku bloggers informed. Upon relaunch, and subsequent reduction in activity on the older blog arm, myself and other members came together with a goal, rekindle a sense of companionship among members, and promote renewed activity. In doing that, my voice became a flagship, not only for that particular cause, but as a champion of the "little guys" the "regular members" whose needs are varied. I never asked for that responsibility, I never set out on mission of establishing some sort of greatness. I speak where and what my heart tells me to speak. My heart is drawn toward the struggles of the "little guys" because I am one myself. I hold no special rank here, I never did, I hold no special privilege, I never did, I'm just another regular member trying to get by and hoping to get that next piece of work submitted sooner rather than later.
The trouble with being that unwitting champion, even for a cause I strongly support, is that it puts a heavy burden on my mind. Each and every visit becomes something akin to a political public relations strategy session. The worry of "what will I be faced with on the site today?" is not something one should have over his head when coming online to be among friends. Speaking out was supposed to draw attention to something which needed to be out there among the community. I spoke on behalf of an issue that was important to me, not to make trouble for Adam, the staff, or any of the members here. Whether or not I have done that is not for me to say, but I do feel that I have caused undue strain where I had hoped to foster a sense of harmony.
Right now my heart and mind are in conflict. My mind really wants me to continue on, doing what I have done here over the past few weeks, trying to be an ambassador for the preservation of the old, while giving the new it's fare shake as well. My heart tells me that I will not be able keep up that pace. My desire to help my friends is very strong, but I also know that there is only so much I can weather. I can only take so many waves after plowing head-on into a storm of partly my own making. My head wants me to tough it out, like warriors and dragons before me, my heart tells me I have to step back, I have to let other voices speak the messages of their hearts, I have to let others find their own wings and fly toward their desires.
It's not an easy choice for me to make, but I have to distance myself from this thing for some time. I'm physically exhausted, mentally drained, and emotionally fatigued. It shouldn't be a chore to visit a site I've made my home for so long, I shouldn't feel an air of discomfort hovering about me as I move about the site. What all that means is, I need to take a break from from most, if not all, of my activity on both otaku sites. I know I need time away from otakudom here. I'm looking at about three weeks of keeping myself removed from the sites and all activities here at least. That means I will not be able to speak for Passive Dissent, I will not be able to champion the causes and the people whom have come to rely on my voice. I wish I could make it easier for those who need me most, but right now, all I can offer is a piece of advice I gave a friend recently: "If you feel strongly about something, don't be afraid to speak your mind. It may not be till you speak that others find the courage to speak along with you."
One other key reason I'm taking this time off is my health. I have mentioned my psoriasis on myOtaku.com in the past, it's a skin condition I have which is, unfortunately, aggravated by stress. Without the details, I'm very uncomfortable and itchy, I have been for three days now. When I've stressed myself out to that point, it's past time for me to force rest upon myself.
I do apologize for the rather sudden announcement, I know it's kind of unexpected. I will not be completely out of touch though. My contact information is up on my site here, and I will be active elsewhere on the web even though I am taking a breather from the otakudom here. Lots of dragon luck to Passive Dissent, to the staff and members of this otaku universe, and to all of my friends here. I hope to return rested, recovered, and to positive things. Until the next post...
...Animé Dreams!
~Hal
Contacts:
- Sites/Profiles:
- Instant Messaging
- Yahoo!: stagemanus
- MSN: nebulaghost@hotmail.com
- AIM: ZephyrKaze
Comments:
AngelBest Dream:
Photography is a hobby of mine and flowers love me so they almost always take nice shots. Changing things up on Worlds is a good thing, and I'm happy to have a color scheme I really like there now.
Get over there when you can, pop me a note or something too.
All that glitters is not gold. And not all treasure is tangible. You are right though, my Sanctuary is one of my treasures, and it does fit to have place in my Worlds.
I do apologize for ducking out on the site like this at such a critical juncture, but my alternate contact info is down there, my e-mail is over in the profile to the left there, so I'm not out of contact, if something major goes down that needs my attention, please someone don't hesitate to let me know. I'm not hard to find, or to contact.
Mamma Vash
Crabapples, such tart little things, yet they make some wonderful jelly. I didn't get the blossoms a year ago or th eyear before, but I did manage to get them this year. Flowers give me the best pictures when I shoot I think, they just turn out so professional-looking and I don't even have to try too hard to get them.
Please check out the portfolio, I got a new piece of art up there too the other day and forgot to link it here.
I have no plans to leave this place for good. Right now, my sore, itchy scalp though is telling me I'm pushing myself way too hard and need to slow down. I hope the community can manage without me for a little while, hopefully other voices will pick up the torch where I'm fumbling it here. I think it's a tall order to expect a 100% return to what we had, but we can bring it close if we try.
I actually haven't been on the Rail Trail in Spring, so I'm not sure what it looks like. A lot of my shot are late summer/early fall. TheOtaku isn't really a nature photo gallery, so why not link to the place where my nature photos will be? Makes it easy to find me when I can't be on here, like for the next few weeks.
Oh yeah, I'm still doing the wood burning stuff. In fact I'm working on a dragon piece that will be a "How I do it" kind of DIY knock-off.
Spring is treating me well, hope it does the same for you. And you have no idea how much I missed that biscotti. Catch me on dA if you need anything in the near future, and don't worry, I will be back here as soon as I'm rested and recovered.
