Tuesday, October 30, 2007

Lies, Fear, Facade, Grief
The title, in case you are wondering, is from the ending theme to Death Note. I don't care for the song much, but that one line describes so many different things.

I normally don't go into the details of my everyday life, but today I think I am. First let me say that I am sad... I find that whenever I am happy (you know, one of the happy's where you don't exactly know why you are happy) I am usually shot down and I resume my sadness. Of course during my day to day life I hide my sadness behind a facade of happiness. I don't believe my sadness to be depression, but I don't know why it is there... Though I say that I am sad, I don't mean that I don't have bouts of happiness, I am happy lots of times, but the feeling doesn't stay... I have come to the conclusion (which I know is not true, but I think it sounds eloquent in its own right) that I am not happy and I don't think I will ever be.

On a much different note (well maybe not), I have realized that I believe I have (ugh, I hate the term) fallen (ick) in love with someone... I know the feeling will never be mutual though, but I just wanted to say it...

I posted a new art this morning... As of about ten minutes ago (7:00) it had six page views and zero votes/favs/comments. I am not saying that to get anything out of it, I just wanted to re-enforce the point made by milkycat a while back, Original Art gets no attention (and my art barely gets any attention when its not Original Art).

Wow that was one of the longest posts I have made in a while... Please forgive my mood and the various things I talked about, just know that I have no one to talk to these things about and I just wanted to say (or in this case) type them out... Until next post... Tata...

PS
By say, I have no one to talk to, I do not mean that I have no friends... I have many people who are close to me, but I fear that if I told them these things they wouldn't understand (and on some cases, I know they don't understand) and I don't want things blown out of proportions... Thanks for reading...
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