Thursday, September 22, 2005

Whaaaaaaaaa!
Man! have i had a rough day today! (prepare yourselves for lots of b*tch*ng) so this week so far we have had 3 colorguard practices. today is wednesday! i have had a practice every fr*cken day this week! on monday and wednesday it was from 5:00 to 8:00. but really we leave at 8:30. then on tuesday i had a newly sheduled one that went from 3:00 to 5:00. well as you can imagine i am totally bushed and on top of that i am getting sick! WONDERFUL! and if you all didn't know i am also tryiing to do two sports. one is colorguard, and the other is cross-country. well as you well may know both sports are very demanding sports. (and if you dont' know then now you most deffinately do!)
So obviously i had time conflictions, you see my 7th period is X-C (cross-Country) and that starts at 2:20, and ends around 4:30 depending on how fast you run. so on mondays and wednesdays i have about 10 min to go but my dinner, and then 5 to eat it and the rest of my time i spend down on the field (where we do marching band and colorguard). so this Tuseday i had to give Monica (my x-c trainer) a note from my mom saying that she gave me permission to go to colorguard instead of x-c. so then she looks at it and thank fully accepts it, but then looks at me and tells me that this was getting to be a problem and that i can't keep going to colorguard than x-c, and if not then i need to commit myself to one sport and basicly told me that i need to drop one of my sports. this was the most crushing thing i had heard in a long time, because before today i had been trying to balance not just my two sports but you know that little thing called school, yeah that i had to try to balance too, not to mention family life after all that shit happens. so basicly i was working my ass off trying to get my act together and see if i could really handle it all at the same time. well apparently i was wrong. There is something you must understand about me. i am very determined and i don't like accepting help from others and i don't like sympathy or being the weak link (shout out to Moo). so you put your self in my shoes for a sec. you can't help but be tired, but you know that what you are putting out there is not good enough and you have to try to remember everything that you have to do that day and you go to 7th and run 5 miles or do an intence workout, and then go to Colorguard practice and try to not faint or fall over or forget what you work and sets are or do something wrong or offend someone else cuz by that time we are all really pissy and ready to go screw it all. but you know you can't. so just imagine after all that going home and dealling w/ your derailing family or w/e and then trying to acctually sit down and do your homework! yeah thats right! and yeah thats what i should be doing right now but you know what fuck that cuz i need to vent! so yeah im super tired and fucked up and sick and today i had to make the worst choice in my life, it was really hard for me, and i cried and im going to still probably be crying till next week! i had to drop out of cross-country. i still can't believe i did it. My mom keeps threatening me that im going to get Mono. i said mom, Mono is a kissing disease! no problem there! and she said yeah well there are other ways like eating or drinking something that someone else has that has Mono, so now shes got me scared that im going to become an invalid! i hate it ! i will not allow myself to get sick! ((selfconcious) um yeah, to late for that hun!) well like i said i have had a really hard day and i just want to rock out to my music and fall asleep on a Saturday,.... to bad its wednesday! well i will hopefully be able to post more often now that i have more time. see yall later.

Lovies,
-Padfoot-
Comments (2)