Friday, February 22, 2008

I'm...Back...? Sure....Let's Just Go With That....
Hello my people! I've been gone for so long. D: Damn you gaia and your addictablility....(I know it's not a word, dammit, but I don't care) Anyway, the main reason I haven't been on is because I've been waiting out for V.V., but that's just to damn long...so I'm here! And I'm going to try to be on here for at least half and hour everyday of the week whether you like it or not, dammit!! ...Hopefully you like it. I'm gonna visit everyone's site whenever there's a new....post. Yay!

Now for some update-type things...a LIST I say!:
-My drawings and coloring skills have gotten much better since last you've seen! Even with my Photo-shopping skills! >:D
-I can actually paint now! I love you intro to art!! (not literally)
-I am MARRIED! (to my friend Melissa, she's one of my closest friends) ...as a joke. Did I freak any of you out?
-I am restarting my manga Replismnant (or however the hell you spell it, I can't remember...) because the older version is crap. The storyline is almost exactly the same, but the characters are different and the art is better! :]
-I'm making a mini comic series called "The Mini Adventures of Ai and Ryken" in my spare time while I'm having a bad artist's block with my other manga.
-Ja-san is so totally almost completely glompable! (...I just have to find the right time when to do so...)
-MY SCHOOL YEAR ONLY HAS 65 MORE DAYS IN IT! WHOO!

I'll add more later in a different post...

Anyway, I must say, my life has really turned around since only a WEEK ago. The reason why? Easy. I finally have cast my own charm, against myself. I don't really know how I could explain everything, so I won't. I'll just say I locked my pain, soul, and emotions into a stone. It's made me sooo much better. And when I mean my soul, I mean the empty part of it. I still show and feel the emotions, but they are all under control not. I don't feel empty anymore, I don't become sad randomly, and I don't feel sad that I really don't belong. It makes me happy that I don't belong now. It means I can get along with everybody, no matter what type of person it is. My life has become great. I love magic, and now I completely KNOW for SURE I love Ja-san. Not in the way I used to, where him being with anyone else made me sad, or me always asking why I wasn't with him and such. I now know that was my envy, my jealousy. Not the kind that most people feel, but something different. It makes you feel inferior, as though you are not good enough, but it's all over with. The spell has opened my eyes to why exactly I love him. I used to really just not know. Now I do. Finally my life can begin again!

On another note, I have thoroughly dismissed Christianity as my religion. I just don't believe in it as what's for me. It really doesn't have my kind of thinking. Maybe I'll look into pagan and wiccan. And buddism. I belive those might be more for me. Especially since I don't really believe God is the great guy everyone thinks he is and I don't believe Lucifer is such a bad guy either. Those are just my beliefs. Though, I haven't told my parents, nor Ja-san for that matter. I'll tell them when I think it's the right time. I'm not as edgy with my convertion with my parents, since they of course will understand, but with Ja-san I'm not so sure. I believe it'll change something from what I've had in experience with him. Acacia had tarot cards (as do I now) and he called them satanic and evil, even though I stated that that is what she believes in. He still called it satanic and evil. Ja-san also didn't seem happy when he found out I had my own tarot cards which I use on a regular basis. (I hid it from him...)

Well, since I'm on the topic of Ja-san, I must say we've gotten much closer. And some strange happenings have occured. Let me tell them to you:
-On Valentine's Day, he gave me a RockStar. <3 Yay. It's not much, but for him to actually think of buying my ANYTHING makes me happy.
-He's come over about a million times since Christmas. Three times in was week! Seriously!
-Oh, did I mention he gave me Naruto Clash of the Ninja for Christmas?
-Also, he actually COMES to the emo bridge in the morning! YAY! (The emo bridge is a bridge in our small courtyard in the middle of our school. It's next to a pond, over a dried up creek. I don't remember why, but I started calling it that, and thus everyone now calls it)
-I went to his birthday party! YAY! He loved his present of three Rockstars and $26 (My mom and dad think it's 16, though, cause they said I couldn't give him an extra 10. Of course I did anyaways)
-He seems to smile when I call his name. He did so when I called out it his while I was sitting on the emo bridge.
-This is probably the weirdest thing, but while he's playing harvest moon on his SP (he's a girl in the game and has husband, lol) I was watching (I was utterly bored -_-) and saw that one of the cows he had in the game was name Haley. An actually spelt that way too. I find it really funny, endearing, annoying all at the same time. What do you think of this? It was weird...though...I didn't say anything...

Oh, and before I go, I must say, thanks for reading the whole post if you did. ^^; It turned out longer than expected. Also, I'm going to be changing my layout. What should I change it to?

~Cries

PS: I LOVES YOU ALL!! (Lol)
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