Monday, June 25, 2007

I owe her everything
All this time, I had talked about saving my sis katy, but it's ironic that she saved my life yesterday, and I am not joking. With my gf breaking up with me 3 days ago, and a LOT of other things really stressing me out, yesterday, I was at the point were I just wanted it to end, and was probably going to do something about it. But its ironic that she just happened to call me right when I was in that state of mind, she finally talked me out of it. I love her, and I owe her my life, so end the end if it boils down to she cant get the money for a heart transplant that she needs, I will gladly give up mine, I owe her that. She really proved to me that not everyone lies, when she tell me she loves me and would do anything for me, she really means it. Thank you Katy, like I said, I owe you everything.
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Friday, June 1, 2007

I hate life sometimes
Sigh, just thinking about a conversation with my sis Katy. It's been a while since she has talked about killing herself, and well now it has started again. She keeps saying no one cares and loves her, besides a few family members and me. I have tried telling her that she is very special to me, when ever I feel like giving up, I look at her, and think, she has had it much worst then me, and yet she keeps going on, it helps me to keep going on. All I want to do is take away her pain and place it on me. If I could do that, I would also take her heart problems and put them on me, so that she would have a future without fear of heart failure. It just kills me to see her in pain like this.
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Saturday, May 19, 2007

Just so very tired.
I know that you should not give up, when things seem so hard, I know there are some people I talk too, and I tell them not to give up, and I seem to be so strong to them. I take other peoples pains, fears, and dreams as my own. I help them with there problems, and just let my own slide by, I am always there to help save other people, but I am so very tired of being treated like I am trash, by my own family. I would say that I am in need of being saved as well, but I already have my salvation, and there names are Makayla (my gf), Katy, Matthew, and Warren. Without them I would not want to live, you guys should know, you saved my life. You guys give me the power to go on when all I want to do is give up. I am so very tired, but you guys have always been there to hold me up when I am done putting my whole heart into other peoples problems, and then mine just rip me apart. You guys are the best, not only did you save me, you taught me that I can trust and love people, when all I wanted was to hate everyone. I don't know what you guys saw in me, that made me so important to save, wait I do know, its like Katy said, I have a big heart, I care to much for others, and forget myself. You guys are the best, I would die for you guys. Thank you for giving me a reason to live.
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