Thursday, December 9, 2004

   Marker Halitoses
The title does not mis-lead. I have a very interesting story for everyone.

O.K. If any of you sit next to me in school or know me, you know that I have certain habits. This includes the presistant mastication of all fluid-using plastic writing utensils on or near my person. I use my oral cavity to preform many surgical operations on many things around me as well.

Whenever any of my pens quit working, I would use my teeth to open the top. I would then with much force blow into the top of the pen while attempting to write something. Most of the time this pen-fixing method works like a charm. But unfortunately there is a drawback. Nearly all of my pens, when they have a heart attack, somehow expel ink from their upper-most aperture into the rest of the pen. Of course, the pen will quit working when this happens. Not dissimilar to a machine response, I open the top with my teeth only to find that my pen has bled to death long before I ever see the ink. I must know at least 3 different ink-flavors not by choice. None of them taste good. So I soon quickly expell the repulsive materials from my mouth, and give everyone around me a good laugh as they look at a big black spot somewhere in my mouth.

This happens all the time. But my present situation has something far more unsusual then my polymer chewing habit. What I outlined above happened about 2 days ago. But this pen must have had either a curse, or a very strong and long-lasting ink undetectable by sight when exposed to saliva. You see, as I breath in and out, it becomes apparent that I can both smell and sometimes taste this pen's particular flavor in my mouth. Neither of these nuisances are hard to detect, either. Why, I can still air-brush my fingerprint as I am writing this. Well, it eventually gave me a bad sore-throat one morning.

I have tried many things to solve this problem. Mouth-wash, furious brushing of my teath, breath-mints, eating many flavor-inducing foods. None of these have even made a dent in my strange case of bad breath. I have inspected my mouth and found nothing lingering. Almost as if the soul of the pen is haunting my communication orifice.

So yeah, I'm waiting for this to eventually go away. I'm not going to start writing philosophical stuff until I get a bigger crowed, but if you have any questions or any comments, don't hesitate to utter your thoughts.
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