Friday, January 30, 2004

I HAVE A STICK LIFE!
I DISLIKE today period. And it just HAD to start from the morning of today, until currently NOW. I mean HOW GAY IS THAT?! Oh wow, now I see other people I know are having trouble with their life, and they arent even livning the dorm like I am! I mean look at it this way,

THE STAFF IS MOVING ME TO THE 2ND FLOOR WITHOUT MY SAY IN IT! I MEAN HOW STUPID IS THAT??!?!?! It like it just saying to ditch my only roomates WHO CARE ABOUT A LOT MORE THAN ANYONE ELSE HERE?!?!?!? Today I practically didn't smile at ALL. I am not moving to the 2nd floor. Almost everyone doesnt appreciate who I am. They dont talk to me BECAUSE THEY DONT KNOW WHO I AM!

Yea, and all they know whereI came from, and what my name is, what I like (ummmm no not all a few) and other commom details but they dont know who I really am.

I mean at the begining, we are like lets be friends with everybody! We are all sisters all united! No one is supposed to be ALONE.

Now lets rephrase that.

We have our own little "groups" of friends, even though we still talk to other "groups", not everybody is in a "group", and they practicallty arent spoke to at ALL. We arent all united. AND PEOPLE ARE ALONE.

Now you get it? Things change. and this is one of the things that changed. Yes probably you know that maybe I am alone, but so what right now I dont even care! At school we took 4 tests right? And during break, all I did was DRAW. and thats it.and writing to myslef how I feel. And then after school, I was im my room all alone for hours, and guess what, no one cared, I was forgotten.

Yes maybe the person who TOLD ME THAT EVERYBODY HATES ME AND MY BORTHERS might be true. But it might not be. THE WORLD HAS MILLIONS OF POSSIBILITIES!. And guess what MORE stress on ME! Yesterday I went to the ear doctor right? and she said if the medicine doesnt work, I WILLL HAVE TO GET AN EAR OPERATION. Oh yea, THE PERSON WHO TOLD ME THAT THEY WHISED FOR ME TO DIE IN MY SLEEP FREEZE...WHATEVER. MAYBE ITS GOING TO COME TRUE! YaY!!!!!!!! ARENT YOU HAPPY?????!!!!!!! I am sorry, I AM JUST PISSED!.THE STAFF DOESNT EVEN LISTEN TO WHAT I HAVE TO SAY WHEN THEY FORCE ME TO DO THING I DONT WANT TO DO! I MEAN ISNT THIS MY LIFE I AM TRYING TO TAKE CARE OF!!!?!??!?!
HOW CAN I SURVIVE THIS WORLD IF I DONT MAKE MY OWN DECISIONS?!?!?! HOW CAN I LIVE HAPPY IF I DONT LEARN FROM MY MISTAKES?!?!?!?

WELL THE PEOPLE WHO KEEP TELLING ME THAT I EVERYTHING THATS HAPPENING LIKE ME MOVING TO THIS ROOM AND EVERYTHING IS WRONG.SHUT UP!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Yes I know, life isnt fair. and I cant always get what I want. But right now, staying in my TRUE ROOM with my TRUE ROOMATES is what I need! Guess what. I wrote like 5 pages of how I feel so far today....and I AM NOT EVEN DONE YET!

HOW HAPPY TODAY IS ISNT IT?!?!?!?

Sorry. Thats how I feel. Yes I know that how life is, and its so crucial, and the staff knows every LITTLE thing thats wrong about me, THAT DOESNT MEAN THEY HAVE TO MAKE IT WORSE!

Yes I am grateful for them loving me, but if I am not happy with what they FORCE me to do, isnt that wrong? Yes I know I cant have all of the things I want. but this one I need. Without it, I wouldnt even smile as much, and show my true feelings to this world called Earth.

Sorry. Yea. I know I am supposed to follow the rules and all, and each and everyone of us in the dorm tries our best to follow them but ummmm when we do room change, ITS OUR DESICION we PAY to sleep in the rooms....so I DONT HAVE TO MOVE...and I am never goin to move unless I want to....yep.

Now that my attidue..change I might not even get accpeted for Prep in the dorm. But you know coming again to the dorm isnt all that good, yea I will miss a lot of things but not everybody will get accepted. So yea.

Anyways I am sorry again. See you later. Goodbye.

Heh. all day today though, no one talked to me. except for 5 people...but mostly what they talk to me is for their needs, questions.

Thank you for listening. Ummm Picture.

Spiral. Such a cool Manga/Anime

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