Thursday, February 23, 2006

   Poems..i guess, idk nor do i care...
Smiles

What is in a smile,
but a fesaude to hide behind.
No one smiles for what they really feel,
But smile for others, less they be thought in trouble.
There is no true smile, for noone is immune.
Pain, hurt, lonelyness, guilt, we all hide with a smile.
A smile, a smile,
how much a lie it is.
For truth be known whould make us consence of what truly lies below.
We try with a smile to bring up sprits
though some it works, others bring contempt.
A smile is a smile, truly a lie to all.

Of books, and hearing.

A past, a future, truly a thing read in books,
what farce they are, for nothing determins what.
Of pain turned good, a lie in itself for pain is all that remains.
So lies lies lies, noone tells the truth.
Stories made happy, or stories that are, nothing true comes from a book. To read only to learn what crap ones world begets. To hear only the falsehood that one spews apon this world.
So to read, to write, to hear...all but sugery coated lies, so one feels good.

I know kinda dark, but thats just how it is. To try and change it, for anyone, only brings things to an end.
K, hope you liked, and yes i am dark, but i do have a little light, though dim.

Ltrs Days,
Cycon

You Were An Owl

You are stealthy and secretive - no one knows the true you. You are a seeker of freedom, and you are comfortable with your dark side.

What Animal Were You In a Past Life?

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Monday, February 20, 2006

   Not sure
Ever have one of those days where you want to write something, but you can't get it out on paper. It just hangs in your mind, more like a distant dream then actual thought. Well if you didn't guess, i'm haveing one of those days, 'r weekend..lol. I had a great thought Friday, but then i went to bed and now i can't think of it, i've tried the rest of the weekend, but it just hangs there knowing its good, but can't rember it. I don't know maybe i'm being spacey:P
Well beyound that this weekend, wait make it this whole week, has eather been bad ore really really boreing. The highlight was when I went to a bookstore and bought two mangas; Naruto 2, which i must say is very good, along w/ #1; and i bought Gravitaion, which is some what simmlar to the Animie but totaly diffrent, though simmler..idk...all that i like is that it shows more then what the animie did, not anything hard, just soft..lol.
So yeah yet again i prove i have no life, lol. one day maybe i'll have one, but thats all up to one person, well maybe two now, yeah i sulk alot, heh. well thats aboot it
Ltr days
Cycon
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Thursday, February 16, 2006

   yay
Today i bought Detective Conan(case Closed) box set #1..it has 9 eppisodes, a poster and a keychain..squie...yes i am a happy person atm..short about $50 casue of shipping and handling, its a pre-order...but i'm still getting it when it comes out Feb 21...
OK..yes this is a highlight of my life...i know how pethetic...you know what i say..f you, yeah i know my life sucks, but you can't take my little joy..mu hahaha...yay i'm gonna camp my mailbox now...:D
ltr days
Cycon
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Wednesday, February 15, 2006

   better Day
today was a better day then i can say for the preivious part of the week, i got a job so that equal more money and they offered another tommaorw but they had no abbstances tommarow. Luckly today the teacher i subed for only had morning classes, the last half was athletics, so i got paieed full day for basicly half day, casue subs don't sub athletics:P
I went home early and became bored right off the batt, and when that happens my mind plays tricks, heh, i still can't let go of somethings iguess. meh, i really hate vday, esp when the past comes to mind, owell who cares, right.
i moved on to play a game Wow:D, i won some stuff, on there but it doesn't help much till i win the other parts.
i tried again yesterday, but i got no responce. idk if thier was one i logged after a few secs. but w/e.
um, well that was about it, catch ya ltr
ltr days
Cycon
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Tuesday, February 14, 2006

   Wounderfull, loveable, Best Week ever!!!!
In case you can't tell, yes thats sarcasium.... this week is turning in too one horrible week, first monday, monday=hell day w/ fishies. first i get to work late, which means ppl aren't too happy to begain with. next i get horrible lill fishie freashmen who are dumb as fucktards, well not all some were actually pretty cool. but not only that. first Mr. Gear comes in to collect a student, and what does he see but hell in the class, then later Mrs. Shoobie comes in and tells the class to sit down and be quite after lunch. i was like omg i'm sooo screwed. i wouldn't dought they all hate me now. hence why i haven't gotten a job call for today:(
Then today comes, i was suppose to give a ride to a friend to buy a rose at wal-mart in the morning. But then then fate steps in and gives a flat to my moms car, so i'm woken up at like 630 to try and replace it 'n stuff...well i get the van changed tire and all, w/ the spare..but the gd spare needs to inflate to 60psi...and it was at 5psi...so there i am freezeing my ass off pumping this piece of shit tire w/ a pump that has crap for a seal. after about 15min of pumping, and my arms wanting to fall off, the danm tire only iinflates to 40psi....so i try some more to inflate it...but the gd tire filler kept pooping off the tire casue its a piece of shit, so i give up and stick the tire on the van and try to lighten the load as much as possible...the danm spare looks flat and my mom says she ain't driveing it casue it'll go flatt too...so now i'm w/o a car the whole day. Getting yelled at by my friend casue he gave me 2 wks notice about the ride, so now i feel like shit, physicaly and emotional, and i have no car...so even if i did or do get a call to work i'm screwed.
omg i hate this week..i think ima just go to sleep and hope i can sleep threw it...idk maybe god is punishing me for some bad stuff i did recently...danm you karma..gah.
well as far as i know i have one more job at the end of the month..hopefully i still get calls and my car back in time. but idk, this week is now hell week...i HATE you valantines day i know its becasue of you retched holliday..gah..ima go scream and prolly kill something...cute things..puppies...
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Sunday, February 12, 2006

   Sick, or something
Well yesterday ended the weeklong subing of computer maintanice, it was fun. I got to play games dureing class, and the teacher was there most of the time casue he was retairing, again, and was in and out of the classroom, hence y i was there. His son is takeing over next week as the perm teacher. the only problem i had w/ the class was that it made me soooooo sick...i think i cought a cold or maybe its allergies...but i feel like crap. oh, i made a freind of sort in the class, heis name is T(i don't give names out hehe), he was pretty awsome, smart, nerdy, but funny. and he likes WoW too, so i plaied abit w/ him only, he's kinda cool. His 17 soon 18, and b/w all f you and me..he was kinda hot. but i could tell he was straight, so it's strictly platonic, but he's good on the eyes:P.
Hmm all day today i've been downloading stuff from a site Sethos gave me, saw my first animated naruto movie. didn't care to see episodes casue i have to start from the begging or i lose interest, and the first episodes weren't up. atm i'm getting some DC movies.
Other then that, went to a family friends house casue the father had a stroke, and he's only in his late 40's, they have 9 kids...so that maybe why. made cookies for them casue i'm cool like that, and the kids are sweet when i babysit them...and they give me an excuse to watch cartoon movies at the therter:P.
Atm...not doing much, self loathing, but thats always the same, playing games, being bored, killing sims, watching the naruto movie again, in bits, casue i'm doing 6 diffrent things at once. feel like crap casue i'm sick...and thats about it, really.
I might do some more online quizes cause everyone else is doig themO.o but that'll be later when i'm not sick and doing 5 things at once. soo this is pretty much it. yeah i know your all bored, w/ my sorry, sad, pathetic life..lol:P

Ltr days,
Cycon
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Friday, February 10, 2006

   because Sethos had one:P
casue she had one i did one too:

Your Five Factor Personality Profile

Extroversion: You have low extroversion. You are quiet and reserved in most social situations. A low key, laid back lifestyle is important to you. You tend to bond slowly, over time, with one or two people. Conscientiousness: You have medium conscientiousness. You're generally good at balancing work and play. When you need to buckle down, you can usually get tasks done. But you've been known to goof off when you know you can get away with it. Agreeableness: You have medium agreeableness. You're generally a friendly and trusting person. But you also have a healthy dose of cynicism. You get along well with others, as long as they play fair. Neuroticism: You have medium neuroticism. You're generally cool and collected, but sometimes you do panic. Little worries or problems can consume you, draining your energy. Your life is pretty smooth, but there's a few emotional bumps you'd like to get rid of. Openness to experience: Your openness to new experiences is high. In life, you tend to be an early adopter of all new things and ideas. You'll try almost anything interesting, and you're constantly pushing your own limits. A great connoisseir of art and beauty, you can find the positive side of almost anything.

The Five Factor Personality Test

free enneagram test
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Sunday, February 5, 2006

   random thoughts
Have you ever had the feeling that no matter how hard you try, no matter how much you care, what you tried to prevent happens anyway. And not only that but you may have been the casue or atleast the one who put the final nail in the coffen. Idk, for years i tried to prevent what i knew whould happen, of which i can't say, it happend anyway, i accepted it becasue another one i found had more potental, had a real future but for all i know i prolly made it worse, though all this happens w/in less then a month when you try all year. heh, i guess you can't change fate, what is written is written. Is it so wrong to want to help someone becasue thier your frined. only to find out they hate you for careing anyway. is it so wrong to want to know more to help, just to wish to see them truely smile. idk...idk if anything is worth trying, fate can never be changed, and to try only makes them hate you...
heh, idk know why this came up..i thought it was b/h me..all i can think is that gravition brought back some memories, heh my life seems kinda like Shuichi's...although alot less happy and more upsetting, and no kissing eather..lol... I also heard throuh others what has happend, since silance is all i get anymore...heh, i guess it brings me down. it'll prolly take me awhile to supress it again, but hey thats why they made wellbutran:P...
sorry my post seems down just had to get somethings off my mind, thanks for reading my useless depressing crap..lol...

Ltr Days
Cycon
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Monday, January 30, 2006

   Ushicon Go, 'n stuff
well to start, i was orginally planing to leave for the con on thirsday, but then i thought..naw i'd rather work...hmm i shoulda left earlier, wehn i got there on friday evening i found out that i couldn't register unless it was in the morning, that sucked balls, and i also missed much of the conven friday except mainly the rave at night, which in itself was pretty awsome. I meet Sethos there, along w/ her friends seth and lemony, we all pretty much danced and i found out i have no danceing bone w/in my entire body (sethos was kind enough to point that out for me:P). well after about 4-6hours of attemptoing to dance, it ended and we al left to sethos' room w/ her friends..4 guys, 3 girls. we hung out in her room for a bit to talk nothing much till sethos kicked me out w/ the rest of the guys:p... i went to my bro's appartment who convenetly resides in Austin, near the conven. i got there and crashed like a plane in flames.
The next morning i went to the hotel early to meet up w/ sethos to get makeup on and dress up for cosplay, i was the ace of dimonds in alice in raveland. rest of the day was spent eather shopping, talking or the masive cuddle orgy we had outside/inside/outside again. it was all fun, and i had a blast, till tords the night where i started feeling sick, i decided to leave early...around 11-12 midnight if thats early.. i borrowed seth's room key to get my junk so i could go home, did that but then couldn't find sethos or seth for the life of me, i walked around aimlessly around the 3rd floor checking the dance floor/video rooms...yes even the henti video room..though although that was more outa coriasity since nether sethes were 18+. about 30min-1hour later i find seth and clomp her to give her her key, to find out that she'd been to her room at the 9th floor looking for me to get the key back, lol. well after i gave it to her i said gnight to her and lemoney, and a few others i ran into on my way out, i had previously said gnight to sethos, so i hope she don't feel left out..lol

The next day i felt like shit in a can, i had cought the flu...it was bad, chills, back ack, eyes on fire, ugh i wanted to die...but i found soome day quil and made it to the conven at 12 noon, to only find out sethos and gang left...i was a sad puppie, owell maybe it was better so they didn't catch my flu as a trolled the dealers room for the last 3 hours, i bought gifts for my bro as payment for room, and some other stuf...my room is no longer bare:D, then i wnet back to my bro's home and felt like shit somemore so i stayed an extra day.

ohohohoh....i bought my first gravitaion DVD..vol 1....omg its sooooo funny...me liky lots , and it has some pretty danm cute seices...hehe, i also bought wallsrolls, and a CC DVD. oh and some manga. all in all...about $130 worth of crap...although i was quite pissed the conven hardly had any Detective conan stuff...i was lucky to find the CC dvd..oh well i'm told the biger convens will have better stuff...

But this Whole weekend was a blast, meet new feinds and made new ones too, thanks alot to Sethos, Seth, lemony, and seth's lill bro for makeing this the awsomeest weekend i've had in a long long time...hehe..sethos says i'm an utacu(spl) now...hows that for a conven noob:P

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Wednesday, January 25, 2006

   Just saw this had to post:P
REAL reasons Americans are opposed to gay marriage...

1) Being gay is not natural. Real Americans always reject unnatural things like eyeglasses, polyester, and air conditioning.

2) Gay marriage will encourage people to be gay, in the same way that hanging around tall people will make you tall.

3) Legalizing gay marriage will open the door to all kinds of crazy behavior. People may even wish to marry their pets because a dog has legal standing and can sign a marriage contract.

4) Straight marriage has been around a long time and hasn't changed at all; women are still property, blacks still can't marry whites, and divorce is still illegal.

5) Straight marriage will be less meaningful if gay marriage were allowed; the sanctity of Britney Spears' 55-hour just-for-fun marriage would be destroyed.

6) Straight marriages are valid because they produce children. Gay couples, infertile couples, and old people shouldn't be allowed to marry because our orphanages aren't full yet, and the world needs more children.

7) Obviously gay parents will raise gay children, since straight parents only raise straight children.

8) Gay marriage is not supported by religion. In a theocracy like ours, the values of one religion are imposed on the entire country. That's why we have only one religion in America.

9) Children can never succeed without a male and a female role model at home. That's why we as a society expressly forbid single parents to raise children.

10) Gay marriage will change the foundation of society; we could never adapt to new social norms. Just like we haven't adapted to cars, the service-sector economy, or longer life spans.


yeah take that..ooo burn all you christen coliation Bheads...hehe:P

might write more ltr..dunno..
later days
Edrick:P
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