Friday, August 27, 2004

Two days to go and then that's it from me for a while
Well, the title kind of covers it. In two days I'm off to my new, better, more waterproof (particularly around the door) house.

Which doesn't have any internet connection...

So I also have two days to make the most of broadband until maybe we get it installed...

Another one of those Bible translations

Today's is not taken from the CGV adopted by this website, but from the STTP (Straight-To-The-Point) Bible.

Revelation 22:18-21
NIV

I warn everyone who hears the words of the prophecy of this book: If anyone adds anything to them, God will add to him the plagues described in this book.
And if anyone takes words away from this book of prophecy, God will take away from him his share in the tree of life and in the holy city, which are described in this book.
He who testifies to these things says, "Yes, I am coming soon."
Amen. Come, Lord Jesus.
The grace of the Lord Jesus be with God's people. Amen.

STTP

Change this text and bad things happen.
Jesus is coming.

This Bible is 10 Pages Long, has numerous omissions from the books of Moses, notably the whole of Leviticus ("What can I say, it's not that interesting to read" said the translator), and is also available in Pamphlet form and has a "Read the Bible in 10 Minutes" program.
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Thursday, August 26, 2004

'TIN'TIN or
Only 3 more days in the Langsett Road household... scary.. I'll actually live in a decent place soon.

Be sure to check out my current (soon to be previous) Landlord's website at www.jonothompson.com.

At the moment 66 Langsett Road has it's own Warehouse district- the corner where at the moment all my boxes of stuff are piled up. Would you believe I have 15 Boxes (of average to large-ish size) worth of stuff?
Now, that's not all that impressive, but a number of people I've talked to who are considerably older than me (and by "considerably" I only mean about 15-20 years) only owned about a suitcase worth of stuff when they got married.. one of my cluster leaders, Graham, owned a couple of carrier bags' worth. And I have 15 boxes and counting up (I've not finished packing yet).
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Wednesday, August 25, 2004

Abbreviation Gone Mad
We've come up with a new abbreviation at work. What happens is that as I pick orders which get shipped out, I fill out a sheet which effectively acts as an invoice once completed. There's a box for "quantity". Mostly 1s, 2s, 3s.. occasional 4.. every so often some clever so-and-so decides to order 2000 of something.. you get the idea.

There's also abbreviations that can go in there, like "TOS"- Temporarily Out of Stock, "OP"- Out of Print, "RP"- Reprinting, "TF"- To Follow (Haven't yet tried putting WTF in..).. etc. Today we came up with

"TIN"

There Inn't None

Inn't is one of those northern english words which most british people will probably have heard at some point. It's an abbreviation of an already abbreviated word.

See.. it's all good and well taking the "o" out of "is not" and making it one word. But that wasn't enough, we had to remove the s as well, and the T, in all fairness, is often more of a gutteral noise than an actual letter.

Other popular doubly abbreviated words are-

wann't (wasn't)
wunn't (wouldn't)
shu'nner- or shud'ner (shouldn't)

oddly enough, there's also "conner" (that's more of a phonetic spelling than an actual word) for "can't" which is technically more of a slight lengthening.
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Important note
I'm moving house in.. 1,2,3,4 Days.

For those who were around (and more importantly, knew me) last year at around this time- it's the same drill.

I'm moving into a house which at present does not have a broadband internet connection. It may well have dial up but frankly, I'd rather just stay disconnected than use dial up :-S.. especially since it's not one of those deals where you pay a set amount per month- but rather you pay by the minute.

Hopefully broadband will be up and running within about a month of moving in (a realistic target this year as the guy in charge is actually living in the house, not just overseeing it. There was endless messing about last year despite being told by our landlord that it'd be on within "2 weeks"). But until that point, as of the 29th of August, expect to see me much less, or not at all.

2 Chronicles 7:14 (CGV)

"If my pps, who are known as being in my webring, will quit their gloating and turn away from net porn, then I will hear from my desktop, forget about their corruption and will de-frag their hard drives"

I'll leave looking up the traditional translation to you guys :p. If you want to that is



edit: added the presence of the CGV to the intro at the top. And a disclaimer/explanation for those who might take offence at it's description as the "less than holy Bible"
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Tuesday, August 24, 2004

You Asked For It
well, Soley did anyway..

kind of. I'm not going to post up a "1337 Bible".. however, I'm going to attempt to CGV-ise the entire of Psalm 24 (the one that starts off "ALL YOUR BASE... :p")

.. in the form of an AIM conversation

(note: CGV Bible passages are mainly for amusement, not in order to be entirely theologically correct. Or even partially.. :S)

*Ahem*

NIV Version

Of David. A psalm

The earth is the LORD's, and everything in it,
the world, and all who live in it;

for he founded it upon the seas
and established it upon the waters.

Who may ascend the hill of the LORD ?
Who may stand in his holy place?

He who has clean hands and a pure heart,
who does not lift up his soul to an idol
or swear by what is false.

He will receive blessing from the LORD
and vindication from God his Savior.

Such is the generation of those who seek him,
who seek your face, O God of Jacob.

Lift up your heads, O you gates;
be lifted up, you ancient doors,
that the King of glory may come in.

Who is this King of glory?
The LORD strong and mighty,
the LORD mighty in battle.

Lift up your heads, O you gates;
lift them up, you ancient doors,
that the King of glory may come in.

Who is he, this King of glory?
The LORD Almighty-
he is the King of glory.

CGV

DavidOfIsrael: ALL YOUR BASE ARE BELONG TO GOD
DavidOfIsrael: for all your base were be make by God in beginning
DavidOfIsrael: Whose character can climb up God's hill
DavidOfIsrael: and still be standing when they get to the Holy Place?
DavidOfIsrael: The one that is noble and pure,
DavidOfIsrael: who doesn't idolise some fool,
DavidOfIsrael: or swear by what only n00bs think to be true
DavidOfIsrael: God will take care of them, and will defend them
DavidOfIsrael: against even the most cunning conspiracy site
DavidOfIsrael: They are the ones who only use google to find him-
DavidOfIsrael: *looks upwards* they use google to find you, Jacob's God.
DavidOfIsrael: Disable your passwords, O you servers, have your restricted access unlocked
DavidOfIsrael: so that the King of Glory can haxx0r you
Server09283: Invalid Username- King of Glory
DavidOfIsrael: He is God, powerful and big in the fights against net porn
DavidOfIsrael: Disable your passwords, O you servers, unlock your restricted access
DavidOfIsrael: so that the King of Glory can haxx0r you
Server09283: Invalid Username- King of Glory
DavidOfIsrael: PAY ATTENTION. He is GOD
DavidOfIsrael:This could go on for hours. Forget it.
DavidOfIsrael Signed off at 14:15:31
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Numerous Shall We Be
OK, so next year, it's going to work something like this:

Chris, of what is currently the house next door, will probably be moving to the same house as me, only a month later.

Matt, who did TT last year and is a good friend of ours, but didn't live particularly nearby, has already moved into a new house, which is just around the corner from the house Chris (probably) and I will be going to.

And Nick, who is currently my housemate for about 5 more days, will be moving to a house which is just around the corner from Matt's house, on the opposite side to the one we're on.

So all in all, the 4 of us are all going to be very nearby as of September. Kind of like a mini TT 2003-4 community in the Walkley area.
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The Joys of Tax
This month I got paid £910 at work..

and I paid £137.96 Tax in total.

It stings when you go above the tax threshold..
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Monday, August 23, 2004

The Bible For Computer Nerds
New!
The Bible in Contemporary Computer Geek Language! Selected Passages as follows:

Matthew 8:23-27
NIV Version:
Then he got into the boat and his disciples followed him. Without warning, a furious storm came up on the lake, so that the waves swept over the boat. But Jesus was sleeping. The disciples went and woke him, saying, "Lord, save us! We're going to drown!"
He replied, "You of little faith, why are you so afraid?" Then he got up and rebuked the winds and the waves, and it was completely calm.
The men were amazed and asked, "What kind of man is this? Even the winds and the waves obey him!"

Computer Geek Version:
Jesus: *gets into boats, disciples follow*
*Storm suddenly pops out of nowhere and rocks the boat all over the place. Jesus sleeps*
Disciples: *shake Jesus in attempt to wake him* DUDE! WE'RE GONNA DIE!
Jesus: You little wusses. *Gets up and tells the Storm to quit it*
Disciples: WTF!!?!?11 Where did he learn to do that?

2 Kings 2:24
NIV
He turned around, looked at them and called down a curse on them in the name of the LORD . Then two bears came out of the woods and mauled forty-two of the youths

CGV
Elisha: GOD OWNZ j00! *Two bears appear and rip the 42 kids to peices*

Psalm 24:1
NIV
The earth is the LORD's, and everything in it, the world, and all who live in it

CGV
ALL YOUR BASE ARE BELONG TO GOD

1 Corinthians 9:20-22
NIV
To the Jews I became like a Jew, to win the Jews. To those under the law I became like one under the law (though I myself am not under the law), so as to win those under the law. To those not having the law I became like one not having the law (though I am not free from God's law but am under Christ's law), so as to win those not having the law. To the weak I became weak, to win the weak.

CGV
Paul: to the nerd, I became like a nerd. To those with perfect grammar and good vocabulary, I gained that also, so as to win them for Christ. t0 7|-|053 \/\/|-|0 5P0|<3 1337 | |20XX0|2|). And to the n00b I lost all sense of reason and OMGOMG!11! i totly wonthm ovr an God OWNZ THM NOW!!1!!!111
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In Other News...
I may well be living with Chris Wall next year (er.. next year, as in, in a weeks' time.. although he won't be moviong in til October).

Who is Chris Wall? He's one of the guys who was living in No. 64, Langsett Road, whereas I was in 66.

He did TT last year, same course I did, and on top of everything he's a throroughly sound bloke (translation for other nationalities- a really great guy).

He's been looking for a place to move into for a while, but I found out yesterday that he's not had much luck. He was looking to move into the same area as me, and the house I'm moving into has a spare room going, so.. put 2 and 2 together, and I got.. 5.. er.. I mean, I told Chris about the free room and he might be moving in when the room is finished in early october.
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It's official... ish...
I am the Less Than Holy Trinity

(This thread, second post)
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