Tuesday, August 14, 2007

i have always wondered what people would say about me at my funeral, would anyone even show up? would anyone even know, no one calls, no one just calls to say hey whats up hows greg doin, no one calls to see what im up to, not one, not even the girl i say i loved and helped to save my life, i have to call her boyfriend to even know what shes doing.

justin ya calls me up everyonce in a while, but only to play wow, i have no idea what anyone would say, honestly i dont want a funeral, i would want to be cremated, maybe my ashes spread somewhere, ill have to find a place first of all, no where to really call my own right now, nothing that really means alot to me, sigh, i think way to fucking much well later all
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Friday, August 3, 2007

another thing
i hate ebonics, fuck people learn how to use the english language, sure ya i'm not the worlds greatest speller, but hey, i can atleast come close, fuck when you say dont, say dont not dun, my god just a little pet peave, well bye !
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   cant do it anymore
i cant keep being such a hipocrit, i get so mad at my friends for doing the shit im doing right now, for gods sakes i stole a bag of southwest sauce from subway for some free weed, ya it will be fun and will have some good laughs, but i cant hide it all anymore, i smoke at partys or the bar ill have a cigarette, partys if its there and depending how i feel ill do weed(at the most weed), i dont quiet have the integrity i thought i did, i deserved it all, rachael leaving, josh leaving, michelle almost cutting all contact off, i deserved it all, thats why ive changed, ive started to take otheres befor me, trying to make other people happy befor me, i hope one day i get a good line of karma, cause i know for a while there it was all just one big run of bad karma, well i admited most of the shit that goes on, not all of it, but i dont think the rest will ever be admited, no people im not gay, just stuff i would rather keep to myself?

oh, and i play wow
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Friday, July 27, 2007

ewwww
just got off work i smell like subway, ummm got wow today, yay go me, haha nerd for life yooooooooo, ummmmm saw a picture of rachaels hair @@, she looks way to much like a chick i used to talk to all the time for me to like it, but hey to each there own just my opinion, well im off to play some wow !!!!!bye!
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Wednesday, July 25, 2007

when the hell did it become socialy acceptible to get a tattoo, you see all these people getting them, and you ask why, cuase they wanna show art on there body, psh bullshit, that little butterfly on your back will look like an egale in 10 years, that trible tatoo on the small of your back, heh, itle look like a blob in 10 years, fuck, get something that means something, not something to say hey i got a tattoo, welll my thoughts for the day BYE!
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Monday, July 23, 2007

god damnit
thank god im not friends with him anymore, fuck, i try and help the little fucker out, but oh no hes to good for that job, he sits at home either does drugs the whole day, then goes and sets up shit for a woping 30 bucks a night, and then has the shear oddasity to think he can tell me who i can talk to ? fuck him, and im assuming travis is calling me the stalker right rachael ?
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Friday, July 20, 2007

i try to hard with to many people, imma just lay low from now on, maybe ill get somewhere
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Tuesday, July 17, 2007

i sit here, every day, thinking, trying to figure stuff out, i listen to the same songs over and over and over, know the rythmical changes in the songs off my heart, but they never get old, i sit here debating wether or not to try anymore, i debate if i should call michelle one more time, seeing if she wants to do something, i debate wether i want to go back to school, i fight every day with my parents, and everyday i get so mad all i want to do is take a knife to them, but every day all i have to do is sit here and think, most of the time i dont actualy think just listen to the suttle changes in the music, the power and rythme in the guitars, the underpowered yet fieriosity of the bass, the relentless pounding of the drums, the majestic beauty of the voices, and it all just goes away, for this i thank music, it calms me centers me, kept me alive, most people will call my fanatasism of iron maiden wierd, but i dont think it is, there music is beautiful, so much power and thought put into the music they are true artists, i wonder if i ever really missed her, i can hardly feel the loss of her anymore, was she really as big of a part of my life as i thought she was @@ all 3 of them i guess i should say, i know i missed rachael, but what about angela, tigger, michelle, all lost to me now, but do i miss them, not sure anymore, life is what it is, life, at times the most amazing thing every, and at other times, a fate worse then hell, cant stay depressed for long anymore, even when i listen to that song, even if i think about what happened, what i did, i cant stay depressed it actualy makes me more depressed knowing that i cant get depressed anymore, dosent feel normal, its not me, ask anyone, last time i hung out with michelle she commented on it, said i was almost like a different kid, actualy had a smile on my face for more then an instant, i dont know how i feel about it, i guess i should feel good about it, but do i deserve being happy, do i deserve what i have, i dont think so, i dont think anyone deserves anything they have, never having to really fight for it, thats why i want in the army, thats why i have so much respect for canadian, british, french, russian, all allied countries in ww2, they fought for there freedom, they fought for the rights we have now adays, i want that, i want people to see my uniform, and respect me cause they know i have thrown my life in the defense of them, no one respects me right now, one day i hope some one will.....

well thats my rant :D if you didnt read it no worries, just deeper thoughts then normal have a good one peeps

Song Playing:Iron Maiden, For The Greater Good of God.
Iron Maiden, Pashendale.
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Sunday, July 15, 2007

also
i just realised something, she says hes more of a man then i am, heh thats actualy funny, she has no idea about that kid, he promises on his fathers life to never do anything, he goes and does it, he says he will never turn his back on some one, he does that cause some chick shakes her ass infront of him, he says he respects people, then comepletly becomes an asshole to the people he respects, if thats a man then i guess im on the wrong track, and fyi for anyone who is reading this, thats an explanation of my old friend josh slater,

now the path i am on right now, i try and show everone respect, sure i may joke around and say things, but i always take back what i say, unless i truly mean it, and it takes alot to piss me off, i try not to take peopels shit anymore, i have to kick the shit outta some black kid for doing the same thing to his ex g/f who happens to be some one i hold very close to my heart, i dont know what it is these days i think of more honor and respect then anything, i showed her mother more respect then any of her "boy friends" atleast from what she told me, atleast i DIDNT FUCK HER IN HER PARENTS FUCKING HOUSE, well im getting harsh now, i really gotta stop listning to the music that makes me all adrenaline filled and shit
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wellll
just siting here at my computer, doing my age old routine, thinking about war and life, and for that matter death, listning to some iron maiden song that blows the shit outta my mind, heh, just makes me wonder if religion is the right way to go, it seems every bit of our history is made up of wars fought for religions that arent around today,heh funny thing eh?
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