Wednesday, May 2, 2007

well
got a message from michelle, shes in peru got there safe, its an alien world to her, but i wish her well, well depression is finaly over, looking at the silver lining i suppose, i just hope people can notice a change heh, well have fun everyone and god bless
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Monday, April 30, 2007

well dont know what to say
siting here, listning to my mood music again, listning to a song called A Pittance of Time, ill put the lyrics down, and you will understand the post, i have to join the millitary, i have to know if i can do everything i say i would do if i was in that situation, i need to know how strong i really am, if all the suffering, ive gone through has really toughened my soul enough to stand to it, if its truely what im meant to do, earn some fucking respect... well i dont fucking know what im talking about i dont even know if people read this, maybe you are all just to tired about hearing all my problems ?

have i really lost her completly, does she ever think about me? does she ever think how im doing, what im thinking, who im hanging with? probobly not, i dont know, im trying to move on, i just cant help but wonder if shes happy... its all i want for her right now, just to know that the smiles on her face are atleast partialy real... whatever she probobly dosent even read this anymore, or care, i just hope she has fun in chicago this weekend.

well heres the lyrics for terry kellys A Pittance of Time

They fought and some died for their homeland.
They fought and some died, now it's our land.
Look at his little child; there's no fear in her eyes.
Could he not show respect for other dads who have died?

Take two minutes, would you mind?
It's a pittance of time,
For the boys and the girls who went over.
In peace may they rest, may we never
forget why they died.
It's a pittance of time.

God forgive me for wanting to strike him.
Give me strength so as not to be like him.
My heart pounds in my breast, fingers pressed to my lips,
My throat wants to bawl out, my tongue barely resists.

But two minutes I will bide.
It's a pittance of time,
For the boys and the girls who went over.
In peace may they rest.
May we never forget why they died.
It's a pittance of time.

Read the letters and poems of the heroes at home.
They have casualties, battles, and fears of their own.
There's a price to be paid if you go, if you stay.
Freedom's fought for and won in numerous ways.

Take two minutes, would you mind?
It's a pittance of time,
For the boys and the girls all over.
May we never forget, our young become vets.
At the end of the line,
It's a pittance of time.

It takes courage to fight in your own war.
It takes courage to fight someone else's war.
Our peacekeepers tell of their own living hell.
They bring hope to foreign lands that hate mongers can't kill.

Take two minutes, would you mind?
It's a pittance of time,
For the boys and the girls who go over.
In peacetime our best still don battle dress
And lay their lives on the line.
It's a pittance of time

In peace may they rest,
Lest we forget why they died.
Take a pittance of time.
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Sunday, April 29, 2007

fuck im a dumn ass
siting here, listning to atleast some of the most depressing songs i know, or well ones that are to me listning to i will rember you, trying to rember my grandfather, rembering his leathery face, how he used to hug me, talk to me, have his arm around me while we watched wrestling, man i miss him
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Saturday, April 28, 2007

heh ok whent to the bar corban got mad but hey whats new, split with the old friends got closer to mike and bails, whent to the zoo fucking heard some metal IT WAS FUCKING AMAZING, uhhhh had like 4 beer, feeling good right now, well im off, the ringing in my ears wants to go to bed :P well have a good one peeps
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Friday, April 27, 2007

welllll going to the bar tonight hopefully getting hammered, well not hammered just enough to lossen up and forget all the fuckers that have been shitting on my life, well will get back to you guys to tell you all of the drama that is sure to happen
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Thursday, April 26, 2007

WOOOOOOOOOOOOT
my life is finaly back on track, got rid of all the fucking assholes him my life, sure no friends anymore but who needs em, the only one i have left is leaving for peru in like 2 days, will miss her but whatever, im fucking happy beyond belife, my life is getting in order finaly fuck, still need a few people but whatever, i care about them they couldent give a rats ass about me, funny how the people you care about and want to care about you, dont eh ? well im off for now should help outside again BYE
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Wednesday, April 25, 2007

AHHHHHH there all so young !!!!!!! just got back from glenlawn have to get my transcript and all the kids are so young my god @@ i dont ever rember looking that young
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Monday, April 23, 2007

rofl ok, last night, AMAZING night, first off it was gavin chans birthday, our little asians all growded up, well ok so we get to speaker guys house, umm so we get there, and ya we get dave(speaker guy) to make gavin some shots, so he did, but befor that happened gavin and miltonion(our mexican friend) whent out to look for some beer to no avail everything was closed:( welllll, then we started to get gavin drunk.... it was his 18th we are allowed 2, but ya so at about 10 oclock mike shows up with meg, now the story ith meg is she got really really drunk last year and made out wiht gavin, and neither of them really rember, and we have been buging gavin about it since, we are proud but he dosent realise its a good thing, but whatever so when she walks in i cant help myself but just crack up in laughter i was almost crying, gavin punches me, people ask me whats wrong, and ya, so i explain it, meg gets mad at me cause she dosent rmeber it gavin does 2 and every oen else is proud of gavin, ok so back to gavin getting drunk so ya, we get him more shots, some with just pure alchol, others, being female shots but ya got him drunk, he puked we succeeded, its not a true 18th if you dont puke and or pass out

but ya other then that, did something fucking stupid, called rachael last night, same old shit different day, showed me nothing but contempt on the phone, same old bitchieness, i fucking hope to all hell, that she fucking starts to realise, the only people i need help from are her and michelle and michelles gone for the next month, whatever i gues i just dont even show up on her radar anymore, pretty good eh people ?

well im out for the day talk to you people whenever
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Sunday, April 22, 2007

heh 3 and a half hour trip with bails, was fun, tiring and kinda scary, the fog was so bad we couldent see 15 feet infront of us but hey, if i was driving woulda so been going 120 :P heh :D i r lead foot, been thinking alot, and i cheated on rachael, not in the way people think, but emotionaly, and mentaly, i cheated on her by not keeping promis's by talking to michelle more then her about shit, and i am sorry, i guess if we are ever friends i can apoligize to her personaly, i dont even know if she reads these cause im not even on her site as friends, meh well whatever... thinking about calling angela soon, to talk, i dont know maybe it stupid maybe it isnt whos to tell ill i do it
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Friday, April 20, 2007

well just got off the phone with michelle, seems my friends arent my friends anymore heh, AWSOME, well fuck them, and her, ya she hasent done anyhting to me but i cant keep doing shit with her, adn keep getting shuned by them i guess its inevitable, im unstable, and my life has been unraveling, has it stoped? god only knows, well enough of a rant for me, one question tho does she even read this anymore, does she even care? probobly not i fucked up to much for her to care about me anymore, meh well this is life for ya can it be this bad all the time?
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