Monday, March 5, 2007

all of them lies, this world, my life, my love, all of it a lie, i lied to myself, she lied to me, he lied to me, why do people seem to find the need to lie to me, am i really that bad of a guy? i know ive been an asshole to alot of people, but im really not that bad am i ? i dont even know what to say anymore, this site is my haven a place to run to but i cant keep running
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you know, ive had alot of time to think, and really, no one deserves what they have, i personaly have an amazing life, alright people around me, 2 parents, grand parents, fuck my own computer, i get fed evcery day, money when i really need it from my parents, i dont deserve any of it, many people who have ALOT less then me, have a better outlook on life, they dont cut they dont do half the shit people who have the same if not better lives then i do, do, they make do with what they have, why cant i ? i dont deserve to be alive, i dont deserve having michelle as a friend and i deffinitly didnt deserve to know rachael, i dont deserve anything i have gotten.... i must fix that.....


Songs Playing: Imagine, Jhon Lennon
Paint it Black, Judas Priest
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pissed off at the world, its fucked like usual, fighting everwhere, no peace, always conflict, i really wish i coulda lived back in the 60s when everyone was free love and peace, woulda been awsome, and no not because of the drugs jsut cause i want that again, where eveyrone can love everyone without there always having to resort to violence, well my thoughts for the day.

Song Playing: Imagine, Jhon Lennon
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Sunday, March 4, 2007

FUCKING BITCH, i fucking ask because i need the cash from fucking bills, so you bring up the fact that i was going to give you 100 dollers fuck you, you got my fuckin knife stolen, fucking fix what you did ill pay you back when i can but fuck, dont ever fucking talk to me like that again FUCKKKKKKKKKKKKKK
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@@ i want to kill some one or something, like literaly i feel like going into my basement getting my dads rifles and just going on a shooting rampage, get killed just fucking firing killing people myself, dont know why just feel thats what i want to do, i just want to shoot and keep walking, not caring for anyone else anymore just feeling the thrill of the kill the adrenaline pumping throught my veigns, whatever will pass i hope cya
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Saturday, March 3, 2007

well fucked up i did, really wish she knew exactly how i feel about what happened. well other then that i feel like shit, hey look, the usual heh, well my mind set changes usualy every day, dont know why, guess its the music i listen to.

Song Playing: The Wickerman, Iron Maiden
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Friday, March 2, 2007

flux, a word that completly expresses my life, right now im inbetween everything jobs, school, girls, friends, life in general, music is changing again, heavy metal isnt out tho, some times it gets softer, others i feel like i want an axe to the ear(not literaly), umm i miss rachael just basicly everythign about her, she was awsome and still is, i still think highly of her, but im trying to move on, sara the girl whos number i got, ive called about 4 times and texted her 2, no answer, but whatever ill find someone, one day, ummm graw2 is coming out soon(ghost recon advanced warfighter 2) the game looks amazing played the demo and it seems to be amazing, good graphics updated alot, but whatever, ummmmmm just updated my other site, umm interesting stuff there, but nothing to revealing, umm other then that i guess my life is just in the middle of everything some things are starting to pull through but we will see, whatever the future brings ill take it and work with it, and try and make what i can outta anything i get, hopefully a second chance comes from me, not with her but in general.


Song Playing: Blood Brothers, Iron Maiden


ps ya i know i listen to iron maiden alot, what can i say there an amazing band, but whatever dont be hateing
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Thursday, March 1, 2007

well tried calling her today, no answer guess i should give up, tired, making myself food, blood donor clinic tommorow, well going now bye!

Song Playing: Paint it Black, Judas Preist
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what to do, got a phone number girl dosent answer do i call tomorow? guess i will day was ok father yelled yet again wanted to cut didnt, wanted to remembered the promis i made to her, the one thing i will keep, wont talk to her again, would really rather not, makes it so much easyer, well enough for now.

song playing Dragula, Rob Zombie
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Tuesday, February 27, 2007

the world outside is as it always is moving without me, life inside is in turmoil again, always is really never calm, bar last night again, almost sang kareokee so corb would grow some balls and talk to a girl, thinking alot latly, i know i need a good christian girl to get me on track, well outside is still passing me by and inside the turmoil is always there but today seems to be pretty good

Song Playing:Iron Maidens Dance of Death
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