Tuesday, April 10, 2007

i wonder, i honestly do wonder, what everyones here for, me i know im here to die in a war some day, i know its me, ill never have kids, ill never have a real life, im meant to save some ones life by throwing mine infront of the danger, but what is rahcael here for? what about michelle only 2 people i really care about, whats my old friend nick doing? whats he here for, whats alex here for, whats katie going to do with her life, are well all just here for experiance, are we here to just sit around and watch the clock go by, there has to be more, i just dont understand it, they say time heals all wounds ya fucking right, just makes the wounds hurt less there still there, i dont even fucking know what im writing right now random thoughts :D yay fun, people always say to me greg its ok it will get better, but what if i never want it to get better? what if i liked the way it was? what if i liked that blade slicing my skin, or the taste of the cold barrel of that shotgun? really as i have said to many people there is neither good nor evil in this world, there is only the human mind, whos to say pain dosent feel good, i think it does, i honestly love pain, even when its not hurt it feels good whos to say heart ache dosnt feel good, i think it does, i have learnt through her that im a fucking asshole and dont deserve anything, wich is why i will never date again, i cant, i cant treat a girl like i did her, shes 100 percent right, i dont deserve a girl, i never deserved anything, i still dont, i never will, i want to curl in a ball and just cry, make myself invisible with only myself, i want to live in a mountain alone, just me and jolt, for all time, no humans around, no evil, no good, just life man that would be awsome living off the land alone, with the only one i have now, my dog jolt i dont know what any of this means, i dont know if im even thinking right, but all i know is this is what im thinking now, well talk to you all later, and for some reason i love you all... god bless

Songs playing: Wake me up when september ends, Greenday
Imagine, Jhon lennon
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