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danela27
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Birthday
1986-09-18
Gender
Female
Location
Alaska
Member Since
2003-08-29
Occupation
occupying space
Real Name
Joe Dudirosalewathaleche
Personal
Achievements
being
Anime Fan Since
Cowboy Bebop two years ago
Favorite Anime
Cowboy Bebop
Goals
to have no goals!...huh?
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aikido music sports books movies
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standing sitting breathing
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Thursday, November 27, 2003
Delirium
As I lay here on my bed, fully clothed, I look inward. I see a lost sense of direction. Who am I? Where was I going in life? What do I want out of life?
The last song of Incubus’ Morning View echoes through my mind, putting color into this moment of this existence. I used to have so much color and variety in my life. Blues, greens, reds, purples, yellows, and oranges. All I see is gray. some darker, some lighter, but all gray. no luster. no dullness.
When you grow up preparing for the next big thing, the real deal, man, it turns out to be nothing. Just the next step on the endless stairway to heaven. Will I ever get there? Does anyone get there? Can anything in life serve an end at all?
I want to take my life and existence back to me. It has been stolen. I can retrieve it, but is it worth it? Is my existence better in the hands of others who merely wish to exploit it? Will their destruction of a soul be served better for humanity? I don’t want to do it anymore.
I can get my purpose back. I can.
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