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• Joe Dudirosalewathaleche

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myOtaku.com: danela27


Thursday, November 27, 2003

   Delirium
As I lay here on my bed, fully clothed, I look inward. I see a lost sense of direction. Who am I? Where was I going in life? What do I want out of life?

The last song of Incubus’ Morning View echoes through my mind, putting color into this moment of this existence. I used to have so much color and variety in my life. Blues, greens, reds, purples, yellows, and oranges. All I see is gray. some darker, some lighter, but all gray. no luster. no dullness.

When you grow up preparing for the next big thing, the real deal, man, it turns out to be nothing. Just the next step on the endless stairway to heaven. Will I ever get there? Does anyone get there? Can anything in life serve an end at all?

I want to take my life and existence back to me. It has been stolen. I can retrieve it, but is it worth it? Is my existence better in the hands of others who merely wish to exploit it? Will their destruction of a soul be served better for humanity? I don’t want to do it anymore.

I can get my purpose back. I can.
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