Tuesday, February 3, 2004

   paper done!
sorry for the barrage of words, I got my paper done last night, so I'll just post the rest of it here. Thanks for being a fan, devil princess!! The only time I enjoy writing for a class was for the teacher I have now, seh lets you write whatever you want, and encourages you to do your best. None of the limitations and specific formatting crap all other evil english teachers make you do. if you want a few primitive but fun pieces from last year that I did for her, I can post them. they're short, not like this one.

Hanging in midair, she sang a nostalgic song of simpler times as she rested. Two hummingbirds emerged from behind the rope and sat on her head. They dropped two seeds into her hand and sprang back into the air. They hovered a moment, then snapped the cord she was hanging as if it were liquid.

She landed in a fast moving stream that became a torrent of steel colored water. She could only be swept away by the torrent of tears. The cool water washed every cell in her body and every facet of her imagination.

She felt immense despair at having lost control, but at the same time, she had been cleansed and emptied.


Precious in the sight of the Lord
is the death of his Saints
Oh Lord, truly I am your servant,
your faithful son
you have freed me from my chains…

Psalm 116 verse 15-16


Leaving
"Hey. Are you ok?" Jen tentatively asked.

I looked away, silent and brooding. After a moment, I said, “I don't know. I don't know.” This person was so new to me. I didn't know her yet. But from the circumstances, she had come to me. I felt that Jen was a person I could trust, someone who was loyal and imaginative.

The doorbell rang with startling abruptness. I got up and a moment later returned with a tall boy our own age with a solemn look in his eyes. "I'm Mat" He said, giving a short smile. "Are you ready to go?"

"OK," was all I said.

We climbed into his mother’s van and pulled away. The night sky was clear and bright with stars. I wondered where he could possibly be in this night, or if his soul still lived.

We arrived at a small church with a parking lot filling up with cars. We stepped out. I hung back a moment and closed my eyes, before moving along with the others. Mat walked behind me, nodding as I looked back at him. We entered the building, and were greeted by two familiar girls.

They were his sisters. HIS sisters. They were standing at the door welcoming and thanking everybody who came. I could only imagine the strength they must have had to go through a brother's death.

The chairs of the church were arranged in pews, the pews filling up with people. So many people cared for him! So many souls affected in the same way I had been, to some degree. Here a favorite but surly teacher from middle school sat alone. There a nurse from elementary school stood, hugging David’s mother.

As everyone settled, a man walked up to the podium and introduced himself as David’s uncle. Then his neighbor, his father, his best friend, his sister, and his mother all came up and related to us a characteristic or a memory they remembered of him. Through them I learned a lot of details I couldn’t learn in the short time I was friends with David.

“David had a great maturity concerning life. He was kind, gentle, yet strong and confidant beyond his years. He was always looking out for his family, especially his mother, sisters, and maternal grandmother. He was insightful and intelligent, excelling in math and science in school. He was mechanically gifted and astute at work. He was an asset to his family always willing to fix things for others. He lived his life learning by doing. He was a son to be proud of, a supportive brother, growing into a young man; a nephew treasured; and a friend and teammate we enjoyed being with. We will all miss him so very, very much”

Hearing the genuine love, shared by so many people, slowly broke me. Jen handed me a tissue as tears painfully sprang forth. Tears! I haven’t cried in public since I was a small child! What am I feeling? I imagine David’s life from before, and it makes me so happy to hear it at the same time it pulls at me, pulling the tears out from deep within me. I look at Mat and his eyes are wet and he sniffs. Jen’s tears were running down her cheek in a stream. These people. They week for a person they didn’t know, but they are still touched from the parting of human life. If they can cry, it is okay for me to cry too!

Then his coffin is brought forth, and my heart jumps around in my chest, letting loose a flood that had been building up inside of me. He was in there, for is to say goodbye to, his soul speaking to us and I knew he was at peace. God would take care of him until the rest of us can catch up to him later.

I walked up to the coffin after the ceremony was over, and laid my hand on the coffin, made from his father’s hands in love and determination. I said a prayer to God, praying for David, and the strength for everyone to move on. My will of tears was emptied by then, which unveiled a happiness that had been concealed underneath. I looked at Mat and Jen next to me, my new friends, and I can see the source of my happiness.

I walk away, and now, when I look into the future I don’t come up with a black. I can now imagine being with Jen, and meeting new people to fill the emptiness where previous people could not fill. Exhausted by the long night, all she wanted to do is to go home and sleep.


Hanging in midair, she sang a nostalgic song of simpler times as she rested. Two hummingbirds emerged from behind the rope and sat on her head. They dropped two seeds into her hand and sprang back into the air. They hovered a moment, then snapped the cord she was hanging as if it were liquid.

She landed in a fast moving stream that became a torrent of steel colored water. She could only be swept away by the torrent of tears. The cool water washed every cell in her body and every facet of her imagination.

She felt immense despair at having lost control, but at the same time, she had been cleansed and emptied.


Goodbye
Though it’s been awhile
Since that hated day,
There’s still a gaping emptiness
Chiseled deep within me.

Every day I’ve thought of him.
Of how he made us laugh,
Talked about the common deeds
That took place through the day.

Often had I wondered
If there was a god,
Or any greater presence
Who cared that he was dead.

In a night I had envisioned
Through all events in life.
But it took the loss of him
To realize, God cares.

Even though I grieved his death,
I find a comfort knowing
That he is in heaven now,
And in the hands of Him


She was now on a sparkling shore of a million motes of diamonds. The seeds had fallen out of her hand and had taken root among the gems. They grew and grew, wrapping around her carefully as they continued to reach for the heavens. She climbed down from the small niche that she had been herded into.

Dusting herself off, she stood up, and found that she was looking straight into the eyes of an ageless being, shrouded in white clouds of light. One of the figures the boy had run away with. The eyes told her everything she needed to know about the boy and his safety. She saw her own fears and tribulations that had taken place, and suddenly they didn’t seem at all justified or in place.

The figure stepped back, into the folds of the two great trees, fading away. Fading into nothingness. Sleep. Dream with your young imagination, and live the day.



*gasp* wow that paper took a lot from me! I feel....satisfied with it.
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