Monday, February 9, 2004

   phenominal day
The last several days have been INSANELY busy, so I'm sorry I havent' been on. I was out all day with Frank and had a phenomenal conversation with miek that tells all about my day and a great rant. oh, and don't worry about us when we seem evil at times for the first poart, we kinda joke about being evil and sarcastic, we are writing in a very joksome tone until we ger to our serious topic. I have been complained to that it was too long, I attempted to trim it by cutting out the spaces and coloring it, hope its better!Here it is:
hey
yo miek! good thing you didn't come, cause we stayed too late at the old folks home
lol, partying it up again?
you know! *head neck wagging* Ddid 7 hours of community service today.... and a half
fun stuff
it was! I don't kno wwhen I'll do my home work tho...
bah, homework is for pansies
Except it's history day rough draft due monday we'd fail if we'd completly forgoet about it
bah, I dismiss that. my dads coming home in an hour and we get to work out some kinks in our heating system
at one in the morning?!
yea, he's driving up from anchorage
I'm going there with frank in two weeks!
fer what?... I am too. 2 weeks and 3 days..ish
declamation friday and saturady
coolness though I'm also going for we the people at some point soon too...
we the people?
's a competition for AP gov boring stuff
anchorage trip will be fun tho, we;re going with EVERYONE, do you know shannon
nope the yogurt? no wait... thats dannon
kee hee! I love it when MSN sends you a spam about spam prevention......its irritating
or the pop ups "click to learn more about how to get rid of these popups"
Iknow!
my brother has the best on his computer, whenever he turns it on, a popup comes on and his DVD drive, and CDR drive come out. popup says "if you're CD and DVD drive just came out, we control your computer, you need popup protection"
ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhh!! that's great! it was sad...no one was availbale for todays show at the movies
*sad face*
I have...24 new messages! guess how many are spam/
ha, I don't get any spam anymore
how?!
which reduces new e-mail to about 1 every 3 days
oh, on my hotmail I don't have spamm, I just block everyone whos not on my List I havbe a bouncer!
I started a campaign, getting myself off lists, threats, sent some viruses to some people
what electives are you taking next year?
not many, I'm doing a lot of AP stuff. AP art history and such
AP for an elective? taek ceramics
bleh, I want my AP
but why?! it's yor senior year!
I want to start college as a sophmore, might be able to get my masters in 4 years, then I can maybe get into a decent doctorate school for free, then two more years of college and I get money
yyou have so much initiative! what are you planning to do/
Not sure, law school, engineering... maybe doctor, but I doubt that
well, if you're sounding like you're committed to getting a great education, but not sure where you'll go? I confuzed
I figure I have at least two years to decide where I really want to go and what I want to do, just gotta raise my GPA and keep it there till then
I want to get into devoping medicines or someplace in teh medicine sciencey area
so, research as many schollorships as you can and apply to all that you can
can you get scholarships before you choose what school you're going to?
yep . next year I'll be fighting tooth and nail for anything I can get
I reely need $ too, I have none, my dad isn't paying a cent for me liek he did my bro to help
muahaha I alone control the unsubscription lists of the world
unsuscribe me then!
no can do, I'm in evil mode today
you make me cry
wow! it took me that long to chack all those emails. now I gotta look at the sites tehy directed me to
spiffy. sites make me nervous
scenery makes me nervous . tourist sites don't tho
I saw the Vagina Monolgues today, was there for 5 adn a half hours helping. even tho teh show itslef was 2 hours
cool, how was it?
it was funny as shit!! and very, very sad, I actually cried
cool, I havn't found many plays like that
twasn't really a play but .....monolgues
I got to waer a cool top hat
awsome, top hats rule
they had a pink ribbon and a picnk flower on them, daniel tood embarrassign photos of me picking up paper slips I dropped ALL over the floor it was funny watching frank being uncomfortable about all the women talkng about their vaginas...and at the receptioon, there was a giant vagina costume person that you could take you piicture with!
haha . poor frank, he's so... franky
frank is franky?
yea, don't read into it too much
I'm not sure wat you mean?
I don't mean anything just rambling
rambling is fun, you get to confuse people
tell me about it, then they're all like "I'm not sure wat you mean?"
those crazy confuze dpeople
yea, sure isfun to mess with them
espescially when you're smarter than them .: Prospective pharmacists should have scientific aptitude, manual dexterity, and good interpersonal skills.
bah . you just need a good mind, other people will deal with an ass if they make results
or a hoarse
hoarses are awsome, funny creatures
and they chew gum. but I knda want to be a pharmasist
go for it! not really my cup of tea, I didn't like chemistry
I loves it
sigh, feeling creativly constipated
poor miek, I've been liek that with no sleep
yea, I'm bursting out into rhyme every once and awhile
I've always wanted to do that like on a musical muvie...randomly burstig out into song . yyou want to do that next time I see you and scare the locals?
nah, I'll probly be all musiced out by monday
it'll improve you creativity, come on
oh, I'm considering a vow of silence
going all spiritual now?
more like contemplative, but yea
in what direction?
not sure, I'm tired of the things I keep saying, I figure if I stop saying them, I'll be ahead
this is very alarming what you are saying, are you tired? like being you all the time? you long to relax or unsure?
nah, I like what I type . I type cool stuff, I just don't like what I say
do you need a hug?
nah, I need an escape
sometimes I wish I could make everything go away and so I can sleep for days on end.. like I used to as a kid
yea, it would be nice .dumb reality
its so amazing how much we can accomplish in a life time tho, and it's just starting! I'm not sure whether to be nervous or excited
nervous, and tired
I feel like I let people down if I don't go to work, aikido, softball, band, key club , etc.. I'm too commited to people , not enough on grades anymore .I wish I didn't have to work. but I need the money. I like the job and all, but it leaves no time for other htings I want to do
like killing people
exactly !
and so many people need a good death too
I just don't understand the reason's behidn things people do. that's why I cried during the Monologues
people only get confused when I care
but when you join key club and sommat like that, you got a good excuse to care . The particlar part was about a young girl in Bosnia who as raped over and over, sometimes with guys jamming guns up her
bah, I still subscribe that our actions are what we want them to be, so you don't need reasons to do things . 's not a very good fairy tale for the kids . reality has a way of sucking sometimes
that is one of my two deep fears. that and failure
rape?
ya, its' so evil that it goes on so much in the world, 1 in 5 women get raped in their lives in the united states
not that bad in comparison to other things that could happen but don't, not that that's much solace
think about it tho. if you were in a class with 15 girls in it, 3 would be raped
I try and think of it instead in terms of my 5 best female friends, and realizing that one is gurrantied to be raped
even more so terrifying, and personal
err bad topic to get onto, yes it's wrong, and it shouldn't happen
but there's always something to do about things that shouldn't happen. I wantn to actually do something for things that should be better in the world. Things aren't ever going to get better unless we do something about it. Because who else would?
arguably true, but how does pharmacy contribute to all this?
pharmacy could be anywhere part time, what ever, I want to go to a city where a lot of human vices infest , plus it gives people nice soothing drugs
so why not change societies opinions on the whole?
you have to have the media on your side to do that, so many people nowadays are raised by the tv, movies, and magazines, etc
theoretically, rape exists because of the friction between lust, and reciprocation. So why not argue that society needs to stop being so publically uptight and privatly immoral, and instead bring our vices to the surface ... ah, but if we don't change the media, who would?
and then the media is all about ratings, and you don't get ratings unless you have a monkey screwing an elephant, a blond on some reality show, lewd material degrading to women, or scandal in micheal jackson's house
so, accept the monkey screwing the elephant, and call it art
then that is the moment teh media has influenced me. I will not be raised by the media, books are my life
but if you simply define evil for yourself, instead of using societies standards, you're freed from the grip that the media has on those vices. it's the theory that other peoples urges are evil that creates all the tension which in turn creates all the ugly results, you could try to make the results less ugly, but thats altering the symptoms, to find the cure you have to remove the tension
that's why I'm upset people don't accept each other, but one thing I know is rape isn't good, no matter how the culture sees it.
but the urges behind rape are natural, they're just warped by the neurotic condition driven into people by the contradiction of what you hould want and what you should get
again what you should get is what teh media tells you with the mixed messages. but is has happened all throughout time and is simply human nature that some people have. it will not ever go away unless we're all batteries like in the matrix. which isn't very humanish, by the way
but with that mentality, how do you propose to go about saving the world?
by fighting it, I know I don't get urges to rape people
you don't? are you sure? I mean I'm pretty sure you're not out there tying guys down, but you don't ever wish you could make someone pay more attnetion to you ? I'm not advocating rape. But I am justifying it, it exists in our societ for reasons unknown. I personally think anyone who rapes anyone else should be shot, since it shows they can't control urges in a society where control is paramount.
that is soo psycological ļ. but alot of times there isn't really reason behind what people do but you do have a point
*a lot of the times we can't see the reason
yes, people do tend to get raped more often when chaos is greatest, like in times of war
I actually wrote about that when I tried to define "insane" just because we can't see the point behind it doesn't mean it doesn't exist
it's when people ignore all positive reasoning is when this happpens, people can have these urges, but where have alll the other urges and reasoning gone?
even by that definition, people are still using reasoning, albeit negative. and I don't think anyone ever really ignores any reasoning, they may choose to disreguard it, but they recognise that it exists. and how do you define negative? It's all relative, so one persons negative reasoning is another persons positive reasoning
yes, positive for the man who's beating the shit out of a woman, but negative for the woman who carries emotional and psycological scars the rest of her life. Positive for the guys he brags to that he got something. Negative for society, which is numbed to reality as it is.
I'm just confused to the mans motives, and the womans motives
? wat talking about?
your example of the man beating the woman doesn't make sense to me. I'm thinking everyone does things for reasons, some synaptic response is taking place. Without knowing the history behind a persons actions, I can't judge wheather those actions were right or wrong . I can say that I wouldn't do it
I generally don't judge because of my religious views, so many peopel have been hurt by ethnocentric people thinking their way is the only way. It's just that teh effects of rape are too much to be accepted
so how do you judge someone's actions?
on how much they hurt others
in a world where people pay others to whip them, how can anyone judge how much the actions of one person hurts another?
whip themselves willingly from another person?
I'm just bringing up masochists in general, people who like the feeling of pain. or even people who like things you don't, is it wrong that a parent forces their child to try brussel sprouts because you don't like brussel sprouts?
then there's no negative psycological or emotional damage, any before that has already happened. generally brussel sprouts don't cause emotional damage, unless teh child is so devestated by the force used if it's exreme enough
but how do you judge emotional damage?
on how it affects how the person feels about the world, others, and themself
and how do you determine how it affects others, when everything is objective, is it possible to judge anyone else using your views? or your mind
their view in turn affect others by their actions, which are affected b y each of their experiences in life. these ongoing vices of humanity as a result

I'm so glad I can talk to you on such a serious level, miek, but I really must sleep it¡¦s 3 in the morning now, I have to get up in the morning
all righty
I forgive you and your frail human body
thank you g'nighty
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